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Approved Tech Archer Armor

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Matreya

Well-Known Member
Writer
jfco00732-2_1.jpg

Image Source: JoyFay
((Has a hood!))

Intent: To give Val armor that suits him better than just clothes.
Development Thread:
•Dev:
~Tree Craft
~Suit Craft
•Acquisition: Tree
Manufacturer: J.A.C
Model: Archer Armor Mk I
Affiliation: [member="Matreya"]
Modularity: Sleeves - Can be added/removed
Production: Unique
Material:
•Alchemized Titanium Plates
•Shell Spider Silk+Kerrigan Coat Leather
Force Sensitive Tree

Classification: Anti-Blaster, Anti-Ballistic, Force Conduit, Force Battery
Weight: 12.85 kg
Quality: 10
Special Features:
•Lightsaber/Blaster Resistance
•Housing for Force Energy
•Focusing Conduit of the Force

Description:
Unknown to Damien when he took this project, it was by the very archer that had recently attacked him and stolen Phrikite Ore from his storerooms!

Designed to allow freedom of movement, detachable sleeves are made to accompany the suit, in case the wearer so chooses. The outer layer, most easily seen, is an alchemized Purple Spider Silk woven with strands of Damien's own Kerrigan Coat. Not treated, as it was already done so by potentially the greatest Alchemist in history, this layer needs little to be extremely resistant to lightsaber and blaster plasma. Underneath the leather however, is a heavily treated layer of titanium. Built of a lightweight metal, it was condensed on a molecular level, until it rivaled Songsteel, capable of taking repeated blows from lightsabers and blasters alike - slugthrowers will do more kinetic, but take more to actualize legitimate damage.

The arm guards, alongside the shin guards, are capable of being the most defined item on this outfit. Though it is the most concentrated point of Lotek'k leather, this isn't the main advantage of them, nor the titanium, which lies heavily on the in, and outside; they also have a layer of Force Sensitive bark. Why? Dual reasons: it allows the wearer to enhance the influx of Force energy able to be drawn in (how much can be vacuumed in, not over all storage), as well as store a small amount of excess energy. It does not provide enough to be of massive threat; if an acolyte wears it, with full storage, it, combined with a full power attack, may equate to a single Knight level attack. A knight to a Master. Also, being attuned to his Force Signature makes it, when sensed in battle, it cannot be differentiated from his own reserves.

Lastly, though made of the Kerrigan Coat, manufacturer being Rave Merrill, Damien did not let the Force Fear effect carry over. It wouldn't suit well with Matreya's line of skills.
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
Writer
RESEARCH REVIEW

Star Wars Canon:
Pending initial review

Starwars Chaos:
Pending initial review

WITHOUT DEV THREADS
Pending initial review

WITH DEV THREADS
Pending Initial review

SUGGESTIONS
Pending Inital review
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
Writer
[member="Darth Pikiran"]

Alright. Looks like a pretty usual suit at first glance, but there's a number of problematic bits in here.



Darth Pikiran said:
•Titanium Plates

Darth Pikiran said:
Underneath the leather however, is a heavily treated layer of titanium. Built of a lightweight metal, it was condensed on a molecular level, until it rivaled Songsteel, capable of taking repeated blows from lightsabers and blasters alike - slugthrowers will do more kinetic, but take more to actualize legitimate damage.
  • Is this an actual submitted material with the development you describe behind it?

    IF YES, please link it under Materials
    IF NOT, we have a bigger issue. You're effectively using Songsteel in your submission... without using Songsteel. You're trying to bypass any sort of development and grant lightsaber-, blaster-, and apparently slugthrower-resistance to the armor, but aren't putting any of the work in it.

    Clarify this for me.



Darth Pikiran said:
•Shell Spider Silk/Kerrigan Coat

Darth Pikiran said:
The outer layer, most easily seen, is a Purple Spider Silk woven with strands of Damien's own Kerrigan Coat.
  • The Kerrigan Coat is a Quality 10 in and of its own, and can withstand lightsaber strikes, though not sustained contact. This is achieved through extensive process of alchemzation which the coat underwent. It is extremely durable, resistant to wear and tear, and all the other standard byproducts of alchemy.
  • This means that no, you can't simply cut it to ribbons and thread it with Spider Silk.

    The hide of Lotek'k was treated by two of the three finest alchemists alive (Valik and Rave, Disciple being the odd man out), giving it unprecedented durability on par with the heaviest armor while retaining flexibility.
    ; an excerpt from the original submission.
  • Please clarify how exactly the Coat is threaded with the Silk,
    OR edit it out
    OR change it to something more reasonable.



Darth Pikiran said:
•Force Sensitive Tree

Darth Pikiran said:
Dual reasons: it allows the wearer to enhance the influx of Force energy able to be drawn in (how much can be vacuumed in, not over all storage), as well as store a small amount of excess energy. It does not provide enough to be of massive threat; if an acolyte wears it, with full storage, it, combined with a full power attack, may equate to a single Knight level attack. A knight to a Master.
  • While this is all fine and well as a concept, it is again supported by zero development.
    EITHER
    Do 15-20 posts of quality dev
    OR
    remove it from the submission.



Darth Pikiran said:
Quality: 9000!!!!
  • Remove this, please.


Now, an overall analysis. The base armor is solid, but it feels like you're trying to make it do too many things at once, with as little effort as possible. It has no development, a load of resistances, it's light, and it stores Force energy while enhancing its use.

Something's got to give here, especially with the amount of work you've done. It's first pass, so I'm going to let you decide what to cut out on your own. If it's still overpowered after your chosen edits, we'll talk more. :)
 

Matreya

Well-Known Member
Writer
My apologies on the titanium, I didn't know base alch stuff needed dev nowadays. Been a while since I made anything in the factory. My main thing I had done for a while was alch, and basic alch is many times compared Phrik and Songsteel. If that has changed however, I can do a thread.

For the leather, Damien is another Master Alchemist, one who had a brief lesson under her, combined with knowledge from nearly every major Alchemist up to Palpatine. So I imagined that he would have an understanding how it could be cut, especially as he has actually worn it a few times, and had it burned while defending himself.

The tree is gonna stay, as I'm going to work for it.



From an honesty point? Yeah, I tried to lazy my way through by being vague etc, hoping it would be looked at as a Master Alch. So, knowing I am willing to dev it all, how much effort needs to be put into it to do so? 10-15 for the tree alone.

[member="Netherworld"]
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
Writer
[member="Darth Pikiran"]


Then simply say the titanium is alchemized. Saves us both a load of trouble.
If it's alchemized, however, do be aware that its weight will be considerably increased, and edit the weight of the armor accordingly.

If he's a Master Alchemist, then I'm sure he'll be able to figure it out, through an appropriate thread of 20-something quality posts.
The trouble I see here, however, is that by cutting it to ribbons and threading it with Spider Silk, you're effectively destroying the Kerrigan Coat and using it in your submission.
We've got Salvaging rules for that, but they only apply to your own submissions.
2. You may only salvage items you have submitted. You may not salvage items you have purchased and/or been given.
Kind of an grey area, this one, since alchemized materials aren't restricted. I suggest you contact the original submitter of the Coat, [member="Rave Merrill"], and work out that particularity with them. If they're fine with you shredding that Coat in a development thread, go for it. Otherwise, you'll have to edit it out.


Darth Pikiran said:
Quality: 9000!!!!
  • Again, remove this, please.

If the titanium is only standard alchemy, and with the Coat up in the air, what you have to do right now is 15-20 quality posts for the Force-sensitive bark inserts.
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
Writer
[member="Darth Pikiran"]

Don't bump submissions.
It hasn't even been a week, and I've got a fair share of dev to read through.

Now, onto the dev in question. The development threads are satisfactory, and you did a lot of work for the force-sensitive tree in the first place.
Bear in mind that if you're found abusing the Force-storing abilities of the wood, this will be pulled in an instant for a regrilling.

Also keep in mind that while the strips of the Kerrigan coat are alchemized, the strips of the spider shell slik are not. Hence, the material will probably have some very odd wear-and-tear properties, but I'll leave that up to your discretion. Another point I wanted to make in regard to the strips of the leather was that since Damien was able to cut through it with an alchemically altered blade, another such blade – or similar – could inflict damage upon it as well, from your dev thread on.


The big issue I have right now is this:
Darth Pikiran said:
•Uller Bone
Darth Pikiran said:
•Kinetic Absorption
Those same rules I linked you above state one other thing.
14. Intentionally breaking these rules or attempting to mislead Judges will incur a 30 day zero tolerance ban from the Factory or Codex.
You edited the Uller bone in without a single mention, heads-up, consultation, or whatever else you want to call it. I wouldn't care if it was just a matter of aesthetics or something in that vein, but you added a material that significantly impacts a number of properties of this submission.

You have one shot at explaining yourself before I exercise rule #14.
 

Matreya

Well-Known Member
Writer
Huh. I haven't noticed, as I use two separate Notepads depending on which phone I am using (my own, and my fiances). On my phone, it has been in since before the first edits were made. I was not aware it wasn't in the second. As it is an issue, I will remove it. I can always dev, and have it added in later per the modifications.

It was an honest mistake, and I do apologize. I don't see any other misconceptions in it now though, and will leave it to you for judging.

[member="Netherworld"]
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
Writer
[member="Darth Pikiran"]

1) You've edited the submission multiple times. If an integral part of it were missing, you've had plenty of chances to notice it and bring it up.
2) The content found on the internet doesn't change depending on the device one uses to access said content.

Since a Factory rule was broken, [member="Spencer Jacobs"] will take it from here.
 

Matreya

Well-Known Member
Writer
My warning was acknowledged. I am not banned. Therefore I do believe I still am able to await judgement.

As further explanation, the issue was in using the notepads. I keep saves in each, the primary was on the other fone. Then mine was retyped. I jad believed the info was in both.

I do not do my editing in the internet, so went off of what the notepads had - which as said I didn't realize were different. So when I copied to paste from my phone witg the requested edits, I missed it.

Again, I apologize for my mistake, though at this time it does seem irrelevant.

[member="Netherworld"]
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
Writer
[member="Darth Pikiran"]



Netherworld said:
Now, onto the dev in question. The development threads are satisfactory, and you did a lot of work for the force-sensitive tree in the first place. Bear in mind that if you're found abusing the Force-storing abilities of the wood, this will be pulled in an instant for a regrilling.

Also keep in mind that while the strips of the Kerrigan coat are alchemized, the strips of the spider shell slik are not. Hence, the material will probably have some very odd wear-and-tear properties, but I'll leave that up to your discretion. Another point I wanted to make in regard to the strips of the leather was that since Damien was able to cut through it with an alchemically altered blade, another such blade – or similar – could inflict damage upon it as well, from your dev thread on.
Read that well, and remember it.

Tentatively approved.
 
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