Private All's Fair in Love & War

[Katja Javik]

THE EMPIRE
501st
Special Forces

Kriegan Tavlar
​

In the days following, she had been in the grips of a concoction of emotions, ones that she could not easily pinpoint aside for one: confusion. There had been seeds of doubt planted in her mind, no thanks to Leto, which only festered with time. Even with minimal evidence and without an explicit conversation with the person in question, she grew closer to drawing her own conclusions due to Leto's testimony and her own observations on the evening where it began.

They hadn't spoken since. At least... not properly. Not without being under the watchful eyes of others.

Crossing paths was inevitable when they often worked so closely together but there had been a clear definition between professional and personal relationships until that moment where they made the conscious decision for them to overlap - or so she thought.

She considered her relationship with her own squadron as a peculiar balance of personal and professional involvement. The lines became blurred after spending as much time together as they did but she knew that they felt like the closest thing to a family that she currently had.

It was early morning by the time she decided to train, on account of being unable to settle her mind. The lights automatically flickered on at her presence and the door slid shut behind her, sealing her off from the already quiet world outside the isolation of the room. Katja sauntered over to a bar positioned a few feet above her head and jumped to grab hold of it, taking a moment to position her hands securely enough for her to pull herself up.

There was more to her endeavours than simply keeping fit. She held a responsibility to her team to protect them when they could no longer protect themselves and remove them from the direct line of danger wherever possible. If she could not carry them to safety then what use was she?

​

 

[Kriegan Tavlar]

PRODIGAL SON
501st STORMTROOPER LEGION | ENIGMA PLATOON
8th AIRBORNE BATTALION 'ALL-IMPERIAL'
​

It was overdue that they speak again. After the first they'd met and their deployments lateral with one another as well as their less than ideal encounter at the gala in Ravelin, he could undoubtably sense the tension in their relationship. No doubt, a great deal of that was his own part to play. Of all the things that could keep him up at night buried in the midst of tangling with high stakes missions and operations, leading men and women into war. he hardly imagined this would play any part. In many ways, it was often a secondary or tertiary worry- his personal relationships. The mission always came first, it had to. But occasionally, the personal issues kept on the periphery of his concerns crept into the center stage.

At this point, he'd had an idea of where and when she'd be aboard the Dissident Aggressor and with a flick of a switch to open the metallic door, his assumptions had proven correct. He saw her well at work, honing her body and strength to no doubt perform her duties as a combat medic better. While he often sequestered himself to the physical conditioning area, he was hardly dressed for the occasion- donning his service uniform of field grey and crimson piping he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall, waiting for her last set to finish before speaking up.

"Feeling alright, Katja? I know the past week or so has been...chaotic." He iterated, speaking as if referring more to their work but assumed that she knew well enough to read between the lines.

 

[Katja Javik]

THE EMPIRE
501st
Special Forces

Kriegan Tavlar
​

The sound of the door opening did little to disturb her. It wasn't as though she was in a private space so company was to be expected. Though, the company she expected was not the company she received and she soon dropped to the ground upon hearing the familiar voice which stirred anger within her.

She knew they would need to talk sooner or later but irrationally she always wanted the conversation to happen later, in spite of the fact that later would always arrive. It wasn't that she didn't want to speak to him but rather that she didn't want the accompanying awkwardness that would likely ensue, even though she could blame such a situation on him.

Slowly, she turned to face him, her expression remaining neutral. "What do you care?" She replied bitterly, walking past him to the corner of the room containing weights. She sat down on a bench and adjusted weights for lifting, giving minimal attention to Kriegan.

​

 

[Kriegan Tavlar]

PRODIGAL SON
501st STORMTROOPER LEGION | ENIGMA PLATOON
8th AIRBORNE BATTALION 'ALL-IMPERIAL'
​

Oh so she was going to play this game with him, he thought. He nearly rolled his eyes as she spoke up before nodding once in understanding. Idly watching as she racked the weights to her next exercise he finally piped up again in reply.

"Well you clearly seemed as if you had something you wanted to say to me and so I figured it might be best we speak in private, unless that's all of a sudden not what you'd want, Katja." He iterated before he eventually picked himself up from the wall he'd leaned back on and strode forward around the weights until he stood in front of her.

"Just say what you need to say so we can cut through this...tension, or- whatever it is. Something is clearly bothering you and we're going to be going down range together we need to be able to trust one another and communicate." He said, attaching a pragmatist need to the conversation which otherwise might not have been picked up from his initial approach.

 

[Katja Javik]

THE EMPIRE
501st Legion
Special Forces

Kriegan Tavlar
​

Though she lay back in position, prepared to be dismissive of him while she continued her routine, he was not tolerating her game and quickly moved to take a much more direct approach.

There was a sense of attitude in his words but she didn't react initially, instead remaining still, gaze up at the ceiling as she calculated a response until he moved to stand in front of her, forcing her to face him - both literally and figuratively.

"Impressive. The Great Kriegan Tavlar is a mind-reader now too." She commented before sliding towards the end of the bench and pushing herself into a sitting position, her gaze rising to meet his.

There was a hesitation after his offer, not because she didn't want to take it but rather she didn't truly know how to respond. His framing of the matter as one between colleagues prompted an ironic smile. The boundaries they formerly had were now blurred.

"When we met, I respected your sincerity and I could relate to you in spite of our different pasts but I should've known better than to think you were anything more than arrogant." She replied. "Do you think your status gives you an excuse to use people?"

​

 

[Kriegan Tavlar]

PRODIGAL SON
501st STORMTROOPER LEGION | ENIGMA PLATOON
8th AIRBORNE BATTALION 'ALL-IMPERIAL'
​

He was almost entertained by her reaction, clearly trying to evoke an emotionally charged response from him. How she felt was written all over her expression and behavior and he could immediately piece together what had her so distraught. No doubt it was almost solely concentrated on the night of revelry in Ravelin a few days ago. Siyndacha. He nodded once as if wholly confirming the source of aggravation in his head before crossing his arms over his chest once more as he looked over her.

Arrogant, she said. The mere claim brought a furrow to his brow. He'd always tried to carry himself with an air of humility, sure, the offhand remark to fellow comrades in jest certainly didn't pass him by but genuine arrogance? He never pinned the trait on him but, as an officer, carrying the name he did- it was almost a parasite permanently attached to his character in assumption. Maybe he should be wary of coming off as such, he thought- still in his initial era of harsh self criticism that came with commissioning as an officer.

"Use people? In what way do you think I could be using people? That doesn't even- what?" He was hardly playing ignorant. To his knowledge, he wasn't using anyone and it spelled out in his tone of voice as such.

 

[Katja Javik]

THE EMPIRE
501st Legion
Special Forces

Kriegan Tavlar
​

Katja seemed taken aback by his response. Did he really not see what he was doing or was he just stupid? She searched his expression for a moment, seeking confirmation of the former. However, her trust in him had weakened since their last private encounter as she had already brought his sincerity into question.

"You say what you need to in order to get what you want." She replied, her tone beginning to drain of its initial anger and shifting to take a more sombre shape. It was personal. She believed she had been manipulated and she was letting it be known. "You know what I mean." She urged him to read between the lines. This was at least one way to determine if he was just plain simple.

She remained seated, a juxtaposition of their differing authority. She saw it as a refusal to rise to his level, to stay on her own terms, but she failed to see the other perspective.

"Did you mean anything you said when we met?" She asked.

​

 

[Kriegan Tavlar]

PRODIGAL SON
501st STORMTROOPER LEGION | ENIGMA PLATOON
8th AIRBORNE BATTALION 'ALL-IMPERIAL'
​

He narrowed his eyes to the accusation. Did he truly seem to be some intricate webweaver? Turning all those to fulfill his desires? He didn't see it, not in himself. Either it was a blind ignorance to his own malfeasance. Or perhaps it was less so that he was malicious and more so that he was simply...greedy. He'd spent years through the ringer of a regimented upbringing at MIMIC followed by an immediate testing of mettle in combat. His time seeing any emotional or physical affection was limited to next to none. Now, in his position, afforded more liberties as a commissioned officer- he craved it to an extent and of course, it backfired.

"Of course I meant what I said! What at all do you think I could've ever possibly been lying about, Katja?" He snapped in reply. Now he was a liar. A liar in a moment so vulnerable to the both of them, a moment he'd cherished as a well needed reprieve from the miasma he was thrust into not months ago.

 

[Katja Javik]

THE EMPIRE
501st Legion
Special Forces

Kriegan Tavlar
​

As the intensity of their discussion heightened, she rose to her feet to meet him at eye-level before responding, not showing a hint of intimidation. All other emotions were overshadowed by the current frustration she felt towards him. It was clear they were both viewing the situation in totally different frames of mind.

"Anything and everything!" She replied, matching his tone and with a sweeping hand gesture to accompany. "How am I supposed to know they aren't just empty words? Tools you use as a means to an end." She continued with her accusation.

"I was warned that this is what you do." She informed him, though leaving out the part where it was told to her by her drug-addicted colleague while she was intoxicated so the credibility was questionable. Still, it had been enough to foster doubts from her and the interactions she had seen between him and Siyn at the fortress left little to be desired in her inherently negatively skewed perspective.

​

 

[Kriegan Tavlar]

PRODIGAL SON
501st STORMTROOPER LEGION | ENIGMA PLATOON
8th AIRBORNE BATTALION 'ALL-IMPERIAL'
​

Finally, she stood up and Kriegan never let his gaze waver from hers the entire time as if ever stern in his conviction and integrity in the interaction- he would not break his eyes from hers out of the worry that she might gain further momentum in the assumption he was being disingenuous with her. He remained steadfast, standing still and tall as she stood up and approached him.

But somehow...she was...warned of this? By who? Kriegan hardly had any connections or friendships that could overlap with hers in such a way, even then, his time at the academy was rather...sterile, strictly adhering himself to the training from the first day until he graduated and commissioned. He couldn't ever possibly recall who might give her that assumption.

"Warned?! By who!? That doesn't even make any sense..." He said, breaking in his characteristic calmness and ease of interaction to yell out in bewilderment to her claim before immediately pulling himself back down to earth.

"Explain what you mean because I'm just not understanding." He iterated.

 

[Katja Javik]

THE EMPIRE
501st Legion
Special Forces

Kriegan Tavlar
​

She didn't falter at his outburst. It was not the first time she had been shouted at nor would it be the last.

As if considering the credibility of her source for the first time, which she was since she had not been forced to confront it until now, her reply was tinged with a certain hesitance to respond. "Leto told me at the promotions." She answered - a response clear enough to highlight the reason that had sparked their current argument.

"I was told that you use someone and then move onto another when it suits you." She explained. "It certainly seemed that way the other night."

Still, she didn't believe Leto's word alone as she had seen Kriegan in the company of Siyn that evening as well. It was their observation of the pair that led to her colleague's accusation so it didn't appear totally baseless.

A sense of dread began to creep up on her as she heard her own words repeat in her head. In her last response she had changed the narrative from feeling manipulated into a creeping suspicion that she was feeling jealous.

​

 

[Kriegan Tavlar]

PRODIGAL SON
501st STORMTROOPER LEGION | ENIGMA PLATOON
8th AIRBORNE BATTALION 'ALL-IMPERIAL'
​

Leto? Really? He tried to recall any occasion within which he had any true indepth conversation with Leto. That amount was zero. He shook his head in confusion, squinting his eyes in bewilderment to her claim.

"Karazyn? I've never spoken with Karazyn outside of the fucking command center or mission essential. What the fuck does Karazyn know? You- you realize how foolish that sounds, yes? To contrive some pattern of behavior of me even though I was stuck in the fucking academy for years until what? Eight months ago? If that was true how the fuck would he even know all of this?" He said, offering up a sigh before he leaned closer to her and speaking up once more.

"You ever think for a moment that he might have been the one trying to use you? The night of the Gala? You were drunk, he was messing with you." He tried to explain to her, uncrossing his arms once more.

 

[Katja Javik]

THE EMPIRE
501st Legion
Special Forces

Kriegan Tavlar
​

For the first time, she faltered, even if only minutely with a shift in stance and a slight furrow of the brow. Her body language spoke more than words could have as he began his verbal onslaught while she seemingly began to recognise her error - a notion further highlighted by her response.

In an attempt to avoid an uncomfortably long pause, she tried to defend herself but there were no words that she could contrive which could pull her from the hole she had dug herself into.

"I- um..." Was enough hesitation to suggest that she knew she was wrong. Her argument had fallen apart and any accusation made after would not withstand such a trial.

It became apparent, at least to herself, why she had been so emotionally charged with him. Fuelled by jealousy, she had latched onto any reason to direct her frustration towards him. They were colleagues, friends even, with questionable boundaries and she had no right to expect anything from him - but feelings didn't exactly follow reason.

In her search for words, she unwillingly created an awkward, defeated silence before speaking up. "I didn't just baselessly believe him. I thought I saw it too..." She tried to explain. "But apparently not." She concluded, accepting the possibility that she may have been wrong.

"I didn't want to believe it. I just-" She averted her gaze and shook her head. "I don't know." Some part of her was relieved it wasn't true but for the situation to have culminated into what it had was far from how she had hoped to find out.

​

 

[Kriegan Tavlar]

PRODIGAL SON
501st STORMTROOPER LEGION | ENIGMA PLATOON
8th AIRBORNE BATTALION 'ALL-IMPERIAL'
​

She’d begun to back down. That much was clear not only from her words but her actions all the same- even if it only showed through in body language, the realization of her misjudgment had crept from the periphery to the forefront of her mind. It was a reassurance at least. He could already feel the walls closing in, his mental state walking the razor’s edge as he coped with this intensive, unrelenting lifestyle that he’d adopted as a Stormtrooper officer. Not only did he have to brave combat like the rest of them but he had to lead both on and off the battlefield. It was as mentally exhausting as it was physically tiring and his own confidants turning on him was hardly going to alleviate the matter.

“I- I don’t use anyone. Truly. I want the best for you, like anyone else under my command. It does me no good to see you hurt.“ He iterated, even if he knew well he could not stave the emotion that commanded this response from her in the first place. Jealousy. Targeted at another close confidant of Kriegan’s, Siyndacha Aerin . He could see the writing on the wall well enough at the Gala as he could now of how she felt about the two of them interacting. But even so- he had his own feelings for the Imperial Knight all the same.

“Don’t know what?” He asked, egging her to divulge more of how she felt in earnest about him.

“What exactly are you looking for from me?” He asked outright, evidently tired of staving off any real quandary between them.

 

[Katja Javik]

THE EMPIRE
501st Legion
Special Forces

Kriegan Tavlar
​

Katja nodded in understanding, seemingly more empathetic towards his plight despite the fact that once again his words took the tone of a colleague. No, more than that - an officer. Whatever their relationship was he had repeatedly framed from the perspective of the roles they played as mere cogs of the Empire.

"I believe you."

Her own loyalty lay in the fact that she had nothing to lose in death and nothing to gain in disloyalty. She did not bear the responsibility of leading and any moral implications that accompanied. She was simply tasked with orders and she carried them out so she could not truly empathise with the harsh reality of Kriegan's role.

She grew sheepish as he prompted her to speak her mind, clearly reluctant to do so. There was no quick or easy answer and she was still figuring it out herself. "Nothing. It doesn't matter." She tried to be dismissive. "I just... I thought that it meant something when we met."

She was greedy too but in a different way. She enjoyed his company and didn't want to share it.

​

 

[Kriegan Tavlar]

PRODIGAL SON
501st STORMTROOPER LEGION | ENIGMA PLATOON
8th AIRBORNE BATTALION 'ALL-IMPERIAL'
​

While she had conceded that she certainly might’ve drawn the wrong assumption about Kriegan’s actions and behavior after the Gala- she still certainly seemed to refuse not to be displeased with him regardless. The behavior was already wearing on him, that he had to argue with someone he’d willfully go to war with why he cared about her.

“What? Of course it meant something. What about anything I ever said to you do you think I’d never meant, Katja? Tell me.” He tried to pry out of her once more, wanting an exact line of reasoning behind her discontent as opposed to vague opposition that channeled nigh exclusively from her emotions as opposed to any well kneaded rational thought.

“You’re being ridiculous…I care about you, a great deal. I’m not sure what I ever could have done to make you think otherwise- but I do. I’m not sure how I could make myself more clear of that.” He said as he stepped closer to her, moving his hands to settle on her waist as he all but demanded her attention with his sentiment.

 

[Katja Javik]

THE EMPIRE
501st Legion
Special Forces

Kriegan Tavlar
​

"All of it. Afterwards... I thought everything you said could have just been empty words designed to get what you wanted." She replied. By now, all anger had drained from her tone and was replaced with a solemnness. "But... I was wrong." She admitted.

After their discussion, she could see the forest for the trees. It wasn't that he was using her or didn't care about her but that perhaps she was just one of several people he felt the same about. It may have made her jealous but it didn't make him a bad person. It just made for a complex relationship.

Embarrassment began to creep over her features and her gaze briefly shifted from his but soon returned when she felt his touch against the bare skin of her waist which she didn't rebuke.

"I think you're making yourself very clear." She replied, hesitant to return the favour, even more so than their first interaction. Now she knew she had annoyed him and she didn't want to act out of line. Slowly, her hand would rise up his bicep and rest on the side of his neck but she was more uncertain in his response than before.

​