Private A Swing and a Miss

[Colette]

Valery Noble

All relationships — good and bad — lasted beyond death as long as either person was alive, and love was given open and freely. Colette shook her head again in disagreement. All these rules just felt stupid and formal. They even gendered the titles instead of just saying 'loved ones' or something simple, putting more emphasis on what they were than who they were.

What was next? Smugglerfriend? Jedifriend?

"Nothing more than just liking someone…" Colette mused and frowned. "I mean, I love Shan, but that doesn't mean I want to jump in bed with him." She said and rubbed at her neck. "It's a risky thing, unless done carefully and in a controlled manner, and I just don't… Feel a need to deal with it?"

"Not that I haven't thought about it, but the idea is just kind of… Not super appealing?"

"Should it be?"

"Why?"

"Aren't there better ways to express that kind of love?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Niv Hani

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Tag: Colette

Valery blinked again, but then smiled, "Even with that kind of intimacy, there are so many different things people like and don't like. So, yeah, there are always other ways to express it. One isn't objectively better than the other — it just depends on the person. Some people might draw most of their warmth from a hug, others from a kiss. Some like that passion in bed with their partners, and others just enjoy each other's company and kind gestures."

Valery knew where she stood within all of that, and it had taken her time to figure it out, too. Colette, with her incredibly limited experience and stubbornness, would have to find her own way.

"The most important thing is that both sides are satisfied. It can mean that compromises have to be made on certain things, but as long as you and Shan are happy with the way things are, that's all that matters. From there, you can always explore other things or take different steps together."

"Whether that's forms of intimacy, living together, marriage, having children one day... that's all for you and your partner to decide together."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

She misunderstood. Colette must have phrased it wrong.

"Right." The kid sighed and tried to rethink what to say. "But I don't… Want to—" She was thinking in circles again, trying to find the 'soft words' to use. "Let's say—..."

God damn it all to hell. Screw polite words,

"What if I don't want to fuck anyone? I want the rest, the kisses and hugs and smiles and embraces, but I don't want the risky bit."

 

[Valery Noble]

Niv Hani

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Tag: Colette

Now it seemed Colette didn't understand what Valery was trying to say.

She had to rephrase it.

"No, that's exactly what I was trying to say. Some people want or need that sexual connections, others do not. So, It's fine if you don't want the risky bit, but want to express yourself differently," Valery tried to reassure her.

"It's just something to discuss with Shan at some point, or whoever you end up being interested in now, or in the future. Both you and who you love have their own wants but also their own lines that shouldn't be crossed."

"For a relationship of any kind to work, you need to communicate about what you like and don't like. About what you want and don't want. It's important both sides are happy with that, or a serious relationship will not work."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble
Colette blinked.

"Oh..."

A moment passed.

"What if he doesn't feel that way? We just... Stop, or?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Niv Hani

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Tag: Colette

Valery tilted her head, "Well, it depends. Some things matter more than others to people. There are people who need the time in the sheets, and they won't be interested if it's not what their potential partner wants. Others might not want it themselves or they can be together without it."

"That's why communication is important. It makes sure both sides are happy, and if you can't both be happy with each other's needs, wants and boundaries, then you lack the foundation needed for something serious."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"Well, I guess I should." Colette frowned. "Later. Not now."

"It's just kind of weird to look at how others are in their relationships and feel like I should feel weird about not wanting what they have, you know?" Colette shrugged. "Or maybe it's like a thing I was taught not to feel."

"I think… Ophus might not be the best place to look at for how to handle things like love and relationships…"

"I assume the Order wasn't really like that. Controlling."

 

[Valery Noble]

Niv Hani

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Tag: Colette

"I... don't think Ophus is a good representation of what it's like in most of the Galaxy, no. But we're all different, so don't feel bad for what you want and don't want. Just talk about it with the people who should know, when you feel ready to do so." That was all that really mattered to Valery, bother as her Master and... well, as her Mom.

She needed Colette to be happy and comfortable with all aspects of life.

Colette then brought up the order, and Valery smiled very sheepishly, "Wellllll," she paused, cleared her throat and raised her hand to rub the back of her neck. "The Jedi originally banned attachments. We weren't allowed to have a partner, to marry or have children. It was seen as a risk that distracted us from our duties, and made us more likely to fall."

 

[Colette]

"Hm." Colette hummed in surprise. "So, you're saying the Order treated all of their members like how Ophus treated their outcasts..."

Now that was certainly a revelation.

"No touching, no affection, forced to keep others at a bit of a distance if it got too intense..."

The girl blinked.

"I never would have thought. I mean, maybe a little. I haven't failed history (yet) but... Okay, wow, that's..."

"And you still had four- no, five kids. I take it things have changed a lot since then."

 

[Valery Noble]

Niv Hani

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Tag: Colette

"There is a risk to us giving in to powerful emotions and wants," Valery said with a soft sigh. "Losing people we love, or fearing that we'll lose them can drive us to do things we shouldn't. That goes for all people, but with our connection to the Force, terrible things can happen if we lose our self-control."

"But... loss and fear are also a part of life, and I believe we should accept that. The bonds I've now formed with friends, my husband and all our children gives me immense strength and motivation. I think for most Jedi, allowing ourselves to feel and be close, also helps us understand other people better."

The old ways made Jedi feel so distant.

"I'm glad things changed. I've never been happier in my life, and I think I've accomplished far more since my stasis. As a Jedi and as a woman."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Fear of loss wasn't an unfamiliar feeling, but one that the people of Ophus conditioned you against. Loss was indeed a part of life, and death was just one more step into a new form of existence. Your body had nutritious meat for scavengers, each of which contained a small part of your soul that became part of the world again. The air in your lungs would eventually become one with the air on the plains again.

But, there was something that Valery said that piqued Colette's curiosity.

"What do you mean 'as a woman'?" Colette asked with another raise of her brow. "As opposed to 'as a man', or?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Niv Hani

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Tag: Colette

Valery tilted her head just a little, "There are differences between men and women, both biologically but in society as well. In some circles or on certain planets, genders aren't equal or treated equally, for example. But for me personally, it's more about learning what kind of woman I am."

"The most distinguished part of it was becoming a Mother. Having experienced what it's like to carry a child — the risks, the dangers, and even just the hormones and the food cravings. Knowing the responsibility it comes with, and figuring out what kind of Mother I was going to be."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"Didn't think about it like that." Colette admitted and shrugged. "I think I'd prefer to put my accomplishments more as a Jedi or individual than gender."

It was a mindset borne from ignorance. All things considered, despite the rough introduction given Colette's status as an outsider, Ophus V was a surprisingly equal society. If you looked past the whole "women should birth at least one child" deal. But that was, uh, definitely not the same.

The rose-tinted glasses were halfway off. The rest of her old habits would just have to die by themselves. There were some that just hadn't been shattered yet.

"Well, for what it's worth, I think you're a great mother." Colette added. "Your children look up to you, a lot."

 

[Valery Noble]

Niv Hani

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Tag: Colette

A great mother?

Valery paused for a moment and felt just a little tremble of her lips. She didn't like to cry in front of others or show too much emotion, but family was the exception. Kahlil was her support pillar who she could be vulnerable to, and her children were always going to be showered with her affection.

"That means a lot to me," Valery said with a smile. "More than anything, really." She leaned in closer and wrapped an arm around Colette for just a quick hug, before she'd get too emotional.

"I'm lucky to have amazing kids as well." Colette being one of them.

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Call it being in tune with her master, but Colette noticed the way her compliment hit a chord with Valery. A small smile grew on her lips as she was pulled into a hug by Valery and she gave her master — no, actually, mother — a tilt of her head.

"They are lucky to have you too." She prodded just a little bit further to see if Valery would react. "From the way Vera clearly listens to you more than anyone else. Or the way Aurra likes it when you read to her, especially about the Little Tauntaun That Could…"

"Pretty sure even Aris loves you, despite how distant he can seem sometimes…"

"And me, of course, but I'm not as deep in it as the others yet, but I will be."

 

[Valery Noble]

Niv Hani

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Tag: Colette

Valery sniffed a little when Colette doubled down on her compliments, and tightened the hug for a brief moment. She knew the kids loved her, of course, but sometimes it was still nice to hear someone say it. For the exact same reason, she loves it so much whenever Kahlil says I love you to her — nothing means more to her than hearing that from either her soulmate or her children.

"Thank you, Colette," Valery said after pulling back with a smile that was going to linger.

"Don't poke at him too much for this, but Aris is very much a momma's boy. He tries to hide it a little, but... I know." She smirked, knowing that Vera was already teasing him about it frequently. Especially when he was trying to get his Mom to make him a cup of hot cocoa again.

His favorite.

"So..." she finally said after a moment of smiling, "Will you let me know how your talk with Shan goes? Once you feel ready for it, of course." As her Mother, she cared a lot and wanted to know.

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"You know the only one I really tease is you." Colette added with a chuckle. "To tease Aris would be to punch down, in a sense. You, however, are obligated to take the hit. I'm pretty sure it's in your contract when you decided to be my master."

"Of course I will let you know how the talk goes. I'd be surprised if you couldn't accidentally hear it when it happens, most of the talking me and Shan do seem to be somewhere around the house."

"Except that one time at the zoo."

"... I don't like zoos."

 

[Valery Noble]

Niv Hani

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Tag: Colette

"Yeah yeah, as your Master and your Mom, I'm expecting it. The whole family seems to enjoy it." Kahlil especially loved teasing her, but even Vera did. Only Aris wasn't exactly the type to tease others, but Vera did manage to provoke him a little. A true sibling thing, she imagined, but it was cute.

All of the teasing was, really.

"Aris and Vera are going to outgrow us within a year or two at most. So it definitely won't be punching down anymore. I'm their Mother though, so I will always tease them." Sometimes unintentionally, even. Just by showing all of her love and affection in front of their friends, she could tease them, after all.

"Well, as long as you tell me one way or another, I'll be happy." Not that she wouldn't allow Colette her privacy, but her motherly side wanted to know how things were going. That way, she could offer her support.

"What happened at the zoo?" Valery blinked. "It's surprising to hear that you went to one. You're an animal friend, so I would imagine it not being a fun place for you."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"I didn't like it, but… Shan and my friends were there so I kept it together. Kinda." Colette chuckled and rolled her shoulders in a shrug. "Shan explained that they were also conversating the animals, which apparently meant they kept them from going extinct which made it a little more bearable. It was sad, but bearable."

"Though, yeah… I hate how they display these animals like trophies. The way children taunt them— I was so close to throwing one of the kids into a nexu pit for how he teased it— I was…" Colette's cheeks puffed as she exhaled in frustration. "I hate people so much sometimes."

"Uh, respectfully of course. I hate them with respect." She said and shot a nervous side-glance at her Jedi Master mother for a moment before she looked out across the backyard of their home again. "They're just stupid. That can't be helped sometimes."