Private A meeting most Bittersweet [Braze/Floridaman]

[Katiara Drugen]

Katiara Drugen
Jedi Padawan to Master Ty'Raj Vex
Field trip to Danooine.

Beltor "Bell" Cyrus Braze

He was right, this place was pretty. Veridia was as well, but it was a different type of pretty. Dantoonie had an air about it, an old air rich with history. As Katiara and her mentor stepped down the ramp of the shuttle, she took in a deep breath. They didn't talk, as both were taking in the sights of it all, and simply made their way towards the temple.

They weren't due to meet anyone just yet, and she had seen the tip of a statue peaking over the wall of the star port and wanted to see it. She asked Vex, and he simply gave a solemn nod, with the flicker of a gentle smile on his features as she turned and walked off towards it. She was dressed lightly in the warm afternoon, blue skirt gently swirling in the wind as she made her way around the building.

The statue it self, how ever, was not what took her breath away. She heard voices as she neared and came around the bend to see two figures standing near the image of the redeemed Revan and slowed her pace. One of the men was small, shorter then her, with snow white hair the shifted freely as he was engaged in a mildly animated discussion with a much taller man.

Then he raised his hands in a gesture of mild exasperation, and the sound faded from her ears as she got a look at his face. It was his face. Older, with a scruffy beard and mustache, but it was absolutely him. The image of the faded photo in her head swirled as she dropped the sketch book and pen with a slight thump. Rage, white hot and burning, climbed up her throat and her feet moved before she could think. She started out in to a run, then a dead sprint, then pushing past that as she put all her might in to her legs, her hand drawing her saber and igniting it...

 

[Beltor "Bell" Cyrus]

Beltor "Bell" Cyrus, PHD.

Dantoonie temple courtyard.

Braze Ty'Raj Vex Katiara Drugen

"...Look, all I'm saying is maybe if the Orthodoxy had taught the younglings better emotional regulation, fostered a deeper sense of real emotional maturity and stability, they wouldn't have so fracking many of them falling off the deep end and joining the various dark side organizations." He put his hand up in a gesture of frustration, turning his head and, at the back of his mind, registering movement at the edge of his vision as he turned back to Braze while rubbing the bridge of his nose.

They had been at this for most of the day. It wasn't a proper dueling of ideas, as it turned out his new found mentor and the Archologist actually agreed on a lot of the philosophical point he him self had held for years.

Braze nodded, and seemed to open his mouth to speak when something caught his eye. Beltor tiled his head. Then he heard it. Soft foot steps approaching from his rear. He started to turn his head in time to catch the hissing reverb of a saber igniting and the flash of green across his periphery when instinct and many, many years of training kicked in.

He ducked low, spun on his heel and kicked his leg out at whom ever was approaching him. It connected to the assailants shin, and he heard a gasp and a yelp as someone dropped to the ground with a thump. He surged forward, taking her saber arm by the wrist and wrenching it free with just the right amount of pressure to break the line of the wrist bones, but not break the wrist proper. A lit green saber fell from her hand...a small hand.

He plucked it out of the air and turned it around, ready to point it back at the person when they're eyes met. He froze, and so did she.

Sharp cheek bones, a jaw line he knew all to well from the dreams that haunted him and old, liquor and pain soaked memories that he had tried to put behind him. That same brunette hair, a stubborn silver strand poking out from where it was tied in to a neat bun...and eyes. Eyes the color of emeralds mixed icy blues, with flecks of gold and silver.

Bell's face, a mix of hard surprise and anger, fell. He went pale, as if a ghost of his past had come back to haunt him...because it had. He read her expression for a moment, the way her arm twitched, the way her legs tried to scramble, the way her brow furrowed and her eyes shone with the fire of righteousness.

He let her go, and the young women scrambled back. Bell dropped the saber and scrambled back as well, muttering a string of curses to him self. He only stopped when Braze put a hand on his shoulder, a mask of concern on his normally cherry features.

 

[Ty'Raj Vex]

Beltor "Bell" Cyrus Katiara Drugen

Vex watched the objects fall to the ground, discarded, and moved to pick them up. At the sudden surge of dark emotion, he cocked a brow, watching her carefully, though he made no motion to stop her.

He saw what happened and stepped between the two, placing himself like a quiet wall in the space between them. Then he bent down and picked up the saber.

"Well now…" he said softly, turning the weapon in his hand as his gaze settled on Beltor "Bell" Cyrus with a cold, measured weight. "I hope to hear some good, reasonable explanations."

 

[Braze]

Tags: Katiara Drugen Beltor "Bell" Cyrus ​

"Yeah, I'm trying to make things more balanced and healthy overall…" He blinked, watching what happened, then looked between the two. "Well, Bells… looks like you've got more enemies than you thought; What could you have possibly done... I wonder..." Braze offered simply, his gaze shifting from one to the other.

Then he stepped up to the girl and offered her his hand.

"Hey… are you doing okay?" he asked softly. "Do you want to talk about it, maybe?"

 

[Katiara Drugen]

Katiara Drugen
Jedi Padawan to Master Ty'Raj Vex Ty'Raj Vex
Field trip to Danooine.

Braze Ty'Raj Vex

She scrambled back, eyes locked on the man that had put her on the ground in a blur. He shouldn't have been able to do that. He shouldn't be here at all, he shouldn't have a light saber of all things on his hip and he sure as the hells shouldn't have been speaking to a Jedi.

She rose to her feet, her master keeping her from approaching him again. "You...you...you deadbeat, cheating, scruffy nerd herding bastard!" She tried to step forward, Vex's arm holding her back.

"You have the good grace to stay out of my life all this time and now you show up, here of all places!"

 

[Beltor "Bell" Cyrus]

Beltor "Bell" Cyrus, PHD.

Dantoonie temple courtyard.

Braze Braze Ty'Raj Vex Ty'Raj Vex


Her words hit him like physical blows. He was wide eyed, muttering curses and prayers to what ever gods existed as he sat there, Braze's hand still on his shoulder.

"I...Who...what...." He couldn't get the words out. He saw a mirror reflection of a ghost, a specter. He was not a deeply spiritual or religious man, but standing before him was...A testament to his sins.

It clicked. The face, the eyes, they way she moved, the way she furrowed her brow. It was her, Attamara. After all these years. She was Attamara in miniature, her face, her eyes, the way she spoke.

A deeper, colder ball of sorrow, anger, rage, disappointment welled in his throat. Beltor Cyrus did not cry often. He did now. Tears, Hot and wet and deep welled in his eyes and he buried his face in his hands.

"Well now…" he said softly, turning the weapon in his hand as his gaze settled on Beltor "Bell" Cyrus Beltor "Bell" Cyrus with a cold, measured weight. "I hope to hear some good, reasonable explanations."

It was then the larger man spoke. "I...She's my kid. Oh stars I never knew. I'm so, so thrice damned sorry child I had no idea." His shoulders heaved in quiet sobs.

 

[Braze]

Tags: Katiara Drugen Beltor "Bell" Cyrus ​

Braze watched as she scrambled away. It wasn't the first time a girl had refused his help, and it wouldn't be the last. He glanced aside to Beltor "Bell" Cyrus , who had given way to open crying. It was a little disorienting, feeling emotions surge so strongly from both of them. Braze set a hand to his head and sighed softly.

"Perhaps… we should give each other some space, huh?" he suggested gently.

Braze couldn't really relate to the sentiment.

 

[Katiara Drugen]

Katiara Drugen
Jedi Padawan
Dantoonie.

His out burst of tears gave her pause. She expected anything really, other then this. Anger, scorn, derision...she hadn't really expected him to react like this. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but found no words. The anger in her throat had cooled. The fire in her eyes softened.

She took a step forward, only for one of Vex's burly hands to stop her. He looked down at her, a mixture of disapproval and something else that quelled what ever fury may have still persist in her.

 

[Ty'Raj Vex]

Katiara Drugen
"Come with me and lets leave them alone for a bit huh? How about you and I have a talk about what happened? " He gently guides her shoulder to come along with him and lead her towards the temple entrance and off towards one of the quieter rooms seeking out a library. "Hey... It's okay to be upset or anger... what's not okay is trying to attack some one with your saber out of anger... " He offered gently. " I'm guessing that's your father?" He asked offering her her other discarded objects and shutting the door gently he didn't give her her weapon back as of yet.

 

[Braze]

Tags: Beltor "Bell" Cyrus ​

Braze hesitantly reached out a hand and set it on Beltor "Bell" Cyrus 's shoulder, trying to offer a comforting touch.

"So... I'm not sure what you mean, thrice... but... it'll be okay... I'm glad she didn't hurt you," Braze offered softly. "Do you need some water, or to wash your face maybe?" Braze offered, uncertain how to comfort someone in this sort of situation.

 

[Katiara Drugen]

test

Katiara Drugen
"Come with me and lets leave them alone for a bit huh? How about you and I have a talk about what happened? " He gently guides her shoulder to come along with him and lead her towards the temple entrance and off towards one of the quieter rooms seeking out a library. "Hey... It's okay to be upset or anger... what's not okay is trying to attack some one with your saber out of anger... " He offered gently. " I'm guessing that's your father?" He asked offering her her other discarded objects and shutting the door gently he didn't give her her weapon back as of yet.

Ty'Raj Vex
She fallowed, her head down, her mind conflicted.

She sat down in a discarded chair, fidgeting with her fingers. "I haven't seen him...ever. Just the old picture my mother left me. She met him at the academy, she left when she found out she was going to have me, and since then I've been...resentful."

She hated that it was true. She hated that she had let this fester. She hated that she felt no catharsis from what she did. "I'm...sorry master. I-I let my emotions get the better of me." A few tears welled up in her eyes, and she wiped them away with the sleeve of her robes.

 

[Ty'Raj Vex]

"Well... why are you resentful?" He asked gently encouraging her to speak more.

Katiara Drugen

 

[Beltor "Bell" Cyrus]

Tags: Beltor "Bell" Cyrus ​

Braze hesitantly reached out a hand and set it on Beltor "Bell" Cyrus 's shoulder, trying to offer a comforting touch.

"So... I'm not sure what you mean, thrice... but... it'll be okay... I'm glad she didn't hurt you," Braze offered softly. "Do you need some water, or to wash your face maybe?" Braze offered, uncertain how to comfort someone in this sort of situation.

His sobs quieted after a while. He just sat there and breathed, actually doing the exercise Braze had mention he try at some earlier point in the week. With a grunt he climbed to his feet. His hair was a mess, and his bangs covered his eyes. "Come on. I don't want to do this here. Not Infront of him." He didn't directly indicate who he meant, but it wouldn't be hard to guess he was referring to the statue of Revan.

Bell walked, the soft foot falls of Braze behind him as they left the temple ground and climbed one of the soft hills that flanked the compound. At its top was a willow tree, one Braze may have recognized from the discussion about his force visions in the vault.

He turned and slumped down among the roots and reached in to his pocket, pulling out a small metal tin. He opened it, pulling out a hand rolled tobac stick and put it to his lips. "I...don't like smoking around the temple. I see it as disrespectful to the place, to the younglings." He put the tin away, trading it for a light he pulled from the same pocket. With a flick of the wrist he lit the smoke and took in a long, deep drag.

"I loved a woman once, Braze. Really, truly loved her. Back on Anaxes, just two bright eyed kids during their first year as midshipmen at the academy. She was far, far too good for me, and far, far out of my league." He took another drag. "I had...a problem back then. I was alone, besides her, and a nobody compared to the princes and corporate heirs I rubbed shoulders with. I found as much comfort in the bottle as I did in her arms, and the bottle was far crueler to me then she ever was."

"We had a fight one night. She wanted to tell me something, something important. I could read it on her. She ran off and, the next morning, found me in the bed of one of her friends." He let that sit for a moment, an expression of utter, total regret on his face. "I never saw her again. I asked around, the staff, even her parents. All I ever got was that she chose to resign. It...ruined me, for a long time. The drinking got worse and I ended up getting in to a fist fight with some of the campus security. I got 14 days in the brig for that."

He sighed, a curl of acrid smoke floating up in to the air. "I shaped up after that. I had already driven off the girl of my dreams, I couldn't risk my one chance at a future too." He went on. "I never found out what happened to her. No one would tell me, and I never...I never put two and two together."

For the first time since the rant began, he looked his younger mentor in the eyes. "And now I hurt her, too. My own kid grew up hating me, and I never knew she even existed...Stars Braze."

 

[Katiara Drugen]

"Well... why are you resentful?" He asked gently encouraging her to speak more.

Katiara Drugen

She thought for a long, long moment.

"Because I could never understand why mom never spoke ill about him. She never cursed his name, never said he was a bad man. She...she loved him until the day she died. I never understood how such a nice, sweet, kind person could have that happen to her, to break her heart and she never hated him for it."

 

[Braze]

Tags: Beltor "Bell" Cyrus ​

Braze simply listened as he opened up and bared his soul, pouring it all out… What did you say to a man like that?

Braze had said some silly things to Eloise Dinn when he had been crossfaded on the very steps of this temple. She had helped him out of that embarrassing stupor, but he could not possibly imagine cheating on a lover in such a state. He let him talk and get it all out.

"Well… I think perhaps that may have been due to a lack of self-discipline…" Braze offered gently. "We can work on that if you like... slowly but surely so we build towards the best version of your self there is... and besides... You two have lead very different lives... don't beat yourself up over it too much okay? I know it suck to hear this but... What happened was in the past and you had no real control over the out come... "

Braze had tremendous amounts of it in certain things, and yet he was still impulsive and wild in others. He could perhaps relate to that part of the incident, at least. That was where he would place it: a lapse in self-discipline. He also understood what it was like to feel as though there was no one safe to confide in.

"Perhaps… you'd be willing to talk to me when you feel you need to get something off your chest," he offered gently. "I promise I won't repeat it. I'll just hear you out as best I can."

 

[Ty'Raj Vex]

Katiara Drugen

Vex listened carefully and nodded softly. "Well, kiddo… you're upset and hurt because you don't have understanding or closure… Perhaps… you feel he should have been there for you… before I found you?"

He offered a sigh…

"There are, however… typically at least three stories… his story, her story… and the truth… and it's not so easy to find the truth… but if he's here and you're here… perhaps the Force has determined this is best for the two of you… You can't judge him on the chapter of his life you've walked in on… You don't have the answers to why you're upset… and you won't get any answers if you try to kill him… and you don't want to do that. You'll ruin your future… Use your intellect as a shield not a blade...

He sighed softly considering what else to offer in some form of jedi like sage advice.

"I would encourage you to calm yourself and think about whether or not you want to meet this man, and whether or not you want him in your life… I think it's evident from his… sorrows… that he feels bad about whatever happened, and it doesn't seem to me that he even knew about you… I know this isn't what you want to hear… but… patience is needed here… And understanding… If it turns out he was a bastard to your mom… then hell, deck him in the nuts. Punishment fits the crime… You don't need to kill him to let him know you're mad at him… And if he hurts your feelings... well... you don't have to have him in your life and I'll make sure he respects that... "

 

[Beltor "Bell" Cyrus]

Tags: Beltor "Bell" Cyrus ​

Braze simply listened as he opened up and bared his soul, pouring it all out… What did you say to a man like that?

Braze had said some silly things to Eloise Dinn when he had been crossfaded on the very steps of this temple. She had helped him out of that embarrassing stupor, but he could not possibly imagine cheating on a lover in such a state. He let him talk and get it all out.

"Well… I think perhaps that may have been due to a lack of self-discipline…" Braze offered gently. "We can work on that if you like... slowly but surely so we build towards the best version of your self there is... and besides... You two have lead very different lives... don't beat yourself up over it too much okay? I know it suck to hear this but... What happened was in the past and you had no real control over the out come... "

Braze had tremendous amounts of it in certain things, and yet he was still impulsive and wild in others. He could perhaps relate to that part of the incident, at least. That was where he would place it: a lapse in self-discipline. He also understood what it was like to feel as though there was no one safe to confide in.

"Perhaps… you'd be willing to talk to me when you feel you need to get something off your chest," he offered gently. "I promise I won't repeat it. I'll just hear you out as best I can."

Bell listened.

He listened and stayed silent. He kept his eyes on his, reading him, truly.

He could see why the lad was a jedi knight his age, could see why folk looked up to him. He got up, putting the smoke out on a small ash tray he had stuck out here.

He stood before Braze and kept reading him, his own face unreadable. Gently, he put his hands on his shoulders and leaned his forehead down to meet the younger man's.

He closed his eyes and spoke in a language he didn't think Braze would know, his voice barely a whisper. He then got down on his knees, still almost eye level with braze, and repeated the line in basic.

"I am a lump of raw iron. Work me in to a blade of steel."

 

[Katiara Drugen]

Katiara Drugen

Vex listened carefully and nodded softly. "Well, kiddo… you're upset and hurt because you don't have understanding or closure… Perhaps… you feel he should have been there for you… before I found you?"

He offered a sigh…

"There are, however… typically at least three stories… his story, her story… and the truth… and it's not so easy to find the truth… but if he's here and you're here… perhaps the Force has determined this is best for the two of you… You can't judge him on the chapter of his life you've walked in on… You don't have the answers to why you're upset… and you won't get any answers if you try to kill him… and you don't want to do that. You'll ruin your future… Use your intellect as a shield not a blade...

He sighed softly considering what else to offer in some form of jedi like sage advice.

"I would encourage you to calm yourself and think about whether or not you want to meet this man, and whether or not you want him in your life… I think it's evident from his… sorrows… that he feels bad about whatever happened, and it doesn't seem to me that he even knew about you… I know this isn't what you want to hear… but… patience is needed here… And understanding… If it turns out he was a bastard to your mom… then hell, deck him in the nuts. Punishment fits the crime… You don't need to kill him to let him know you're mad at him… And if he hurts your feelings... well... you don't have to have him in your life and I'll make sure he respects that... "

She nodded. Just once.

He was right, even when he said the wrong words his meaning was typically correct.

She curled her legs up in to a cross and put her palms on her knees, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you...mentor." A hint of peace had returned to her voice, and she shut her eyes to slip in to her meditation.

She did speak again, how ever. "I know he feels bad, I think I need to ask him my self.

 

[Braze]

Tags: Beltor "Bell" Cyrus ​

"Well... first things first... you aren't actually a lump of raw iron..." he said in a soft, playful tone, trying to bring levity back to the conversation, and seemingly just comprehending his words.

"You're a living being with a beating heart... and that's okay... It just means you have needs, and they are natural... But to start your journey of mastery of the self, you must meditate on what you are feeling before you try to command it. Hunger, fear, anger, longing… none of these make you lesser. They are signals from the heart and body. A Jedi does not become strong by pretending they are empty inside. A Jedi becomes strong by learning what each feeling is asking for, then choosing... how you answer it. You can't control your feelings... feelings come regardless and unbidden... you can't control that... but you can control your actions, and how you respond to them.

So begin there. Sit with yourself. Listen without shame and... ask: What do I need? What do I fear? What am I reaching for? And when you can name those things without running from them… then you can begin to master them."

 

[Ty'Raj Vex]

Katiara Drugen

He gave her her saber back holding it out to her but should she reach out to take hold of it his grip remained firm a moment or two as he looked to meet her gaze with a stern expression that brokered no argument. " Do not use your blade like that again... understand?"