Private A Long Time Ago

[Mahsa]

She'd been excited upon learning they'd be returning to the Temple, the smile on her face hard to hide as they'd landed. The Temple was the first place that had truly felt like home for the young Kazelrrian, and she'd looked forwards to the comfort it offered after being away for so long—but most of all she'd hoped to catch sight of a familiar face that she’d been sorely missing...

A deep sigh echoed as she stared down her plate of food, head propped up by the palm that served as a resting point for her left cheek, as Mahsa wondered which galaxy far far away the Firronthix was currently exploring. "Maybe they'll come back before we leave again..." The initial thrill that brightened her complexion had died down once she'd confirmed Ayhan and his master had yet to return and, while she knew the abilities of the Firronthix better than anyone else, she couldn't help but worry about his safety.

There wasn't a day they'd been apart since Glorii Te had introduced them and, despite the reassurance of others, the tightness in her chest hadn't lessened over time.

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Tags:
Ayhan ​

 

[Ayhan]

The shuttle coming in from the spaceport had ran late. So late, in fact, that Ayhan had began to scowl fiercer than usual, and his master had to remind him that they were the faces of the Jedi. Looking like he wanted to stab someone was a bad look. And that it had only been five minutes. Three more minutes later, and the shuttle had finally arrived, and the pair were off, back to the temple.

"Excited to be home?"
"Excited to sleep in a real bed," Ayhan sighed.
"You know-" Vahr began to tease with a sing-song lilt.
"Yeah, yeah. Jedi aren't supposed to covet comfort."
"...I'm excited for a real bed too." Ayhan turned with narrowed eyes and looked down at his master, who smirked up at him, knowing quite well how to push her apprentice's buttons.

Despite being the younger of the two, Ayhan stood a full head taller than the pink-skinned Twi'lek, who turned away, and crossed her arms as she looked out over Coruscant. "It's alright to covet things, Ayhan," she said, her voice going soft, in the way that told Ayhan that this was one of those rare moments she was actually being serious. "Just don't let that control your actions."
A gruff grunt of acknowledgement was all the knight got in response before the shuttle came to a stop and the doors slid open. "Go ahead and do whatever it is you do. I'm going to go make my report to the Council."
"Mm. Holo if something comes up," Ayhan nodded, turning and raising a hand by way of good-bye before heading towards his little room. He needed a shower.

A few missions here. A few missions there. It'd been the norm for the better part of year, taking on smaller assignments with Jedi Knight Hera Vahr. And then, all of sudden, they were being sent to Ukatis, into the aftermath of the conflict with the Mandalorians. Nothing left there but ash and starving people. Desperate starving people. Desperate enough to become raiders, and so the next seven months had become a sort of war of its own, defending the refugee camps from raids, striking out and arresting the raiders themselves. Some of them had stolen enough supplied to feed entire camps. Others had been so starved, Ayhan could have arrested them all singlehandedly. Seven months of seeing both the best and worst of sentients in the galaxy.

Bed sounded good right about now, Ayhan thought as he stepped out of the shower and towelled himself off. Food sounded better though, he again thought as he pulled on his robes and his stomach began to growl. Good luck to the cooks today.

Stepping into the dining hall, Ayhan felt her presence in the Force before he saw her. A head of white hair, drowning in a sea of drab browns and tans. For a moment, Ayhan considered turning around and actually going to bed instead, but his stomach growled at him again to eat, and the boy yielded to his stomach. Heading towards the serving line, Ayhan ignored the girl's presence, hardly looking in her direction. He had no energy to deal with her today.

Mahsa

 

[Mahsa]

She’d felt his presence long before her eyes could catch a glimpse of his form, the young padawan now wide awake and alert as she looked over the open space for the familiar crown of black and silver that adorned his head. As the days had gone by she’d feared that some trouble in outer space would force her Master and herself away from the temple before he would’ve returned, but that was quickly forgotten and replaced by an excited smile as waves of jovial delight accidentally poured out of the Kazelrrian and crashed against those around her.

"S-Sorry…!" She’s quick to reel her emotions back in upon noticing the discomfort caused on them, a small apology stammered out just before Mahsa finally spots the Firronthix. His tall frame was hard to miss as he’d entered the space, and a slender hand quickly rose to wave in the air as she called out. "Ayhan, over here!"

He’d stopped as their eyes finally met, the permanent scowl etched upon his facial features exactly as she’d remembered it. There was no greeting or acknowledgement as his steps took him towards the serving line, her hand slowly receding from the air until it joined the other on her table. He’s probably just hungry… yeah, that’s definitely it! His appetite was legendary, and she’d learned long ago that a hangry Ayhan was something she should avoid at all costs if possible.

And so she remained mostly still in her chair as the Firronthix filled his plate with food, bright eyes and a smile set on the man while her right foot nervously bounced up and down as she waited.

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Tags:
Ayhan ​

 

[Ayhan]

He heard her, her voice rising above the din of chatter among the other Jedi as she called out to him. His eyes drifted over to her automatically, unconscious as he'd stepped into line. He stared daggers at her until her hand faltered and began to fall back down to the table and she sat back down at her table. Ayhan didn't look at her again, even after he had his plate of food.

He'd walked past the Kazel to the first empty table he could find, not wanting to interrupt anyone else's conversation. It wasn't a particularly busy time of day for the refectory, the dining Jedi only occupying four or five of the many tables. Ayhan set his plate down, only modestly filled with food. Most of the cook's at the Temple weren't familiar with a Firronthix's dietary requirements, which meant Ayhan typically had to go back for seconds and thirds. Sometimes fourths.

She was still looking at him, Ayhan knew, even as he began to quietly eat and did his best to ignore the eyes boring into his skull. Golden, they were relentless, and only a couple bites in, Ayhan gave in and turned to look at her. His frown had faded into what could easily be mistaken for mild discontentment, but his lips began to draw into a thin line as he settled his gaze on the girl still staring at him.

It lasted more than a moment, but Ayhan turned away again, back to his meal, no further acknowledgement given.

Mahsa

 

[Mahsa]

His eyes finally met hers, causing her smile to widen if such a thing was even possible at this point as the tips of her hair were tinted with a merry sunflower shade. The harshness of his glare didn’t seem to faze her like most, but when his gaze didn’t lessen the Kazelrrian finally took her queue to sit back down and wait.

His first plate of food was acquired before long under the expectant gaze of a golden pair of eyes that followed the Firronthix through the line, and the cheerfulness that radiated off the young girl was almost palpable once his steps aligned with her table. "It’s good to be back—" Her voice suddenly cut out as Ayhan walked past her, a bewildered look on her face as her gaze continued to follow him until he’d finally picked a table and sat down by his lonesome.

Delicate eyebrows furrowed as a myriad of thoughts popped inside her head, trying to figure out why he would’ve chosen another chair when there was a perfectly good one waiting for him where she was. Her gaze shifted over to the nearby tables and the various occupants in each, the sound of multiple ongoing conversations stronger around her own.

"Aah…!" He’d never been fond of crowds, so it made sense that the Firronthix would choose a table towards the quieter part of the room. Yeah, that’s probably it! With the mystery solved her gaze quickly turned back to Ayhan, just in time to see the Firronthix turn back to look in her direction as his lips pressed into a thin line.

Taking it as an open invitation the Kazelrrian was quick to gather her own tray, a pep in her steps as Mahsa made her way over and sat down on the chair opposite to him. "Hey~!"

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Tags:
Ayhan ​

 

[Ayhan]

She stood. And walked towards. Of course. Ayhan couldn't decide if Mahsa was oblivious or just plain stupid. Despite how his eyes followed the younger girl with a hard stare, descending with her as she sat in the chair across from him, she greeted him with a bright smile. "What are you doing?" Ayhan asked, his voice bordering on an animal growl.

Ever since they'd come to Temple, began their force studies, ever since she'd proven herself more talented than he, more suited to be a Jedi than he, it seemed that Mahsa though that gave her free reign to do as she'd like. To bother him whenever she felt like it. No matter how much he'd told her off or given her the cold shoulder, she'd walk up to him beaming and annoying cheerful. He'd made it abundantly clear at this point that he wanted nothing to do with her, and yet, she just didn't seem to take the hint.

Mahsa

 

[Mahsa]

The glare in his eyes never faded as she walked over, it caused her stomach to flip and twist in ways she’d never experienced before—not with him, at least. Despite the turmoil her insides were currently in she’d managed to keep the smile on her lips, and the cheerfulness that coated her voice was heartfelt and sincere. She had sorely missed him, and she was genuinely happy to finally see Ayhan again—

"What are you doing?"
"Wha…?"

His voice had continued to change as their time in the Temple grew. At first she’d thought little of it, conscious of the fact that they both still had some growing up to do, but that excuse continued to fall shorter and shorter as the years passed. What had truly shocked her however had been growled undertones that coated each syllable, a sound that she’d heard countless times before… but never directed at herself.

"I—uuhm..." Her own voice faltered as the Kazelrrian struggled to regain her composure, hands currently resting on the table even if her fingers never released the edges of her tray. "I t-thought we could have lunch together…?"

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Tags:
Ayhan ​

 

[Ayhan]

No sooner had Ayhan opened his mouth had Mahsa's smile faltered. Perhaps she wasn't as dumb as he'd thought then. Even her voice gave a false start as she tried to formulate whatever words she needed to convey. "I t-thought we could have lunch together…?"
"Well, you thought wrong," Ayhan responded without hesitation, before going back to his meal, without glancing up at the girl again.

He'd meant to eat slowly, but the fact simply was that he was starving. It'd been a whole standard cycle since Ayhan had last eaten, so he scarfed down his food with ravenous intensity, cleaning up the plate in its entirety before downing the glass of water just as quickly. Though his stomach still rumbled at him, instead of making towards the food line again, he left his tray in the returns basket, and headed for the refectory's exit, pushing the doors open.

Mahsa

 

[Mahsa]

"Well, you thought wrong." She wasn’t sure what stung more, the harshness of his words or the fact he hadn't missed a beat with their delivery. Her gaze shifted downwards in a vain attempt to conceal the hurt behind her eyes, forced to stare now at the contents on her tray—barely touched and nibbled on.

A thousand different thoughts raced inside her head, though the Kazelrrian couldn’t find it in her to give life and voice a single one. Twice she had tried, her mouth barely opening to speak, but no sound had willingly left her save for a meek squeal, before her shoulders finally slumped in defeat.

The sound of chewing was the only thing that filled the silence between them as the Firronthix made quick work of his meal, and she knew from first hand experience that wouldn’t be enough to satiate his hunger. Maybe he’ll be in a better mood after eating… A lie that she desperately held onto, if only because she feared what the actual truth could be.

He stood up once the last bite was gone and he’d downed the glass of water, and the sound of his chair scraping against the floor earned a wince from the Kazelrrian that had quietly sat across. She’d expected him to go for seconds, but Ayhan surprised her instead when his steps took the Firronthix away from the food line and towards the return baskets instead.

"A-Ayhan, wait—!" The sudden movements as she stood caused her chair to drop backwards, its loud clattering drowning the Kazelrrian’s voice as it drew the attention of those in the mess hall. The irregular thumping in her chest drummed against her ears, but it wasn’t enough to block out the quiet whispers as the Kazelrrian hastily straightened her chair—and she didn’t need a mirror to know what the burning sensation atop her cheeks and the tip of her ears actually was.

It had only been a moment, but he was gone by the time Mahsa glanced back to the refectory’s entrance. A small part of the Kazelrrian considered staying back, but the whispers that echoed inside the room quickly put an end to that thought. She quickly took care of her own tray and the contents it held, disposing of them properly, before hastily rushing out the door.

His scent still lingered in the hallway as it guided her steps towards the right, finally catching a glimpse of his back as Mahsa rounded up a corner. "A-Ayhan…!" His name became a desperate plea as the Kazelrrian called out for him, the tips of her hair tainted a deep ebony as a hand reached out to shakily clasp the sleeve of his robe.

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Tags:
Ayhan ​

 

[Ayhan]

The din of the refectory had quieted as Ayhan had pushed the door open and the sound of chair clattering to the ground echoed down the hall. Ayhan didn't bother looking back as the door swung shut behind him.

He made for the training area, perhaps not the wisest idea given the fact that he still needed food, but that wasn't quite an option at the moment. He could eat later, if he didn't become too faint and pass out before then. He'd only rounded the first corner when he heard the Kazelrrian call his name again, and a tug on his sleeve had the Firronthix whipping around, yanking his arm out of the girl's grasp as he snarled, "What?"

He bore a fierce a look, the sharp fangs where his canines should have been bared savagely with lips curled back. A look that Mahsa surely recognized as one reserved for the Firronthix's enemies. A look that threatened to end in blood if goaded.

Mahsa

 

[Mahsa]

The fabric between her fingers was harshly pulled away as the Firronthix whipped around to face her, but whatever protest the Kazelrrian might’ve had quickly died out once she got a glimpse of his face. The sound of his snarl was met by a frightened squeal that choked up in her throat, her hands instinctively withdrawing close to her chest as a heavy stench tainted the softer jasmine and cinnamon notes associated with her scent.

"Wh—!" Her voice faltered as his lips curled back to expose his fangs, and for the first time Mahsa found herself in a position once reserved for the droids and creatures that had come for their lives in a not distant past. The color of her ebony tips soaked further into the white strands of hair, rapidly spreading like ink stains on a piece of paper, as the Kazelrrian fought against every nerve inside her body that screamed at her to run in the opposite direction.

"W-Why are you acting like t-this…?" Fingers clutched the fabric of her own clothes in a vain attempt to lessen the tightness that built within her chest, eyes squinting as she ignored the stinging sensation around their corners and the way he vision began to blur and distort. "What did I d-do, Ayhan…?!"

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Tags:
Ayhan ​

 

[Ayhan]

Tears began to form in the corners of Mahsa's eyes, welling up as she recoiled from the threatening canine visage Ayhan portrayed. The low threatening rumble rose in his throat as the girl stammered out her questions, completely at a loss as to why Ayhan detested her. Any hope he had of her having caught on was quickly dashed.

"Why?" Ayhan echoed. "Because you're a burden," the words came out, sharp and vitriolic. "Two years I spent keeping your sorry ass alive. Two. Fething. Years." Hell for everyone involved, save their infernal creator. "Now we're out. And you can't seem to stop getting in my way. Interfering in every aspect of my life, my training, going around begging masters to take me on." The fury in his eyes grew as the snow-white hair Mahsa bore slowly darkened, the inky blackness creeping up from tip to root. "Do you think that just because you lived you're better than me? That I need your help? You'd be dead if it wasn't for me." Ayhan still bore the brutal scar across his chest to prove it. "Maybe you think I'm just some wild animal now that we're outta the Cage, and you need to find me a home like some stray." She'd never called him that herself, but Ayhan's keen hearing couldn't help but pick up the names they'd all called him.

The man couldn't help but scoff as Mahsa continued to cower beneath him. "Black skies, you were so pathetic the first time we met." The deep, midnight blue of her hair then was not unlike the dark ebony it shifted to now. "Do you remember what I told you back then? That I didn't care if you lived, or died, but that I sure as hell wasn't about to let you get me killed too. Well, that hasn't changed one bit, Mahsa. Burn salt for all I care. Just stop getting in my fething way."

It wasn't until now that Ayhan took notice of all the eyes on them. He spared them a glance, and a couple of older Knights watched him carefully, and he knew that look. Like he really was just a feral beast to be put down at the first sign of danger. The Firronthix's snarl faded, and he turned on his heels. "I'm going to the training grounds," he said, walking away again.

 

[Mahsa]

"Because you're a burden." She couldn’t believe the bitterness that coated every syllable he spoke, the pain she felt from that single sentence worse than most of the physical wounds Mahsa had endured to date. The Kazelrrian quietly bit her bottom lip as he continued, flinching when the truth had come to light.

Burden.​

"Ayhan, I didn’t mean to—" She’d never forget the look on his face as Master Jigora picked her among the students, or the way the other masters had continuously avoided him. Part of her had hoped he’d never hear of her involvement, but how could she just sit back and watch as everyone overlooked his potential?! "I just wanted to help—!"

That single word seemed to detonate an entire minefield that Mahsa had been wholly unaware of, the first of many tears finally rolling down her cheeks as he berated her further. She remained tight lipped through it all, afraid that anything she could say would only fan the fires brightly burning behind those deep brown eyes that she’d always adored.

Burden.​

Had she not endured the constant ache in her muscles while pushing her lighter body to its limits, all to hone her speed and her senses so she could keep up with the bigger and older Ayhan? What about the countless sleepless nights she’d spent with her nose buried in a book as she devoured every scrap of knowledge their excuse of a father tossed their way—looking for anything that would give them an edge, keep them alive until they could finally escape that hellish cage and travel through the stars… was all of it truly meaningless?

Burden.​

The end of his tirade finally gave way to a silence marred by the whimpering padawan cowered before him. The mental walls she’d often kept for the sake of herself and others now laid in ruins, crumbled by the waves of anger that rolled off Ayhan as he’d spoken—and she knew then he’d meant every single word that had been said.

"I-I’m so-sorry…" A couple of whispered syllables, imperceptible to most, mixed in with her sobs as Mahsa struggled to breathe. Her small hands were unable to stop and wipe away the tears that flowed freely from her eyes, or the anguish that trickled outwards and lapped against anyone foolish enough to stand close to the Kazelrrian in that moment.

"I'm going to the training grounds."

Burden.​

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Tags:
Ayhan ​