Private A Crossroads

[Iandre Athlea]

The arrangement had been simple enough. Meet for something to eat, talk for a while, and see how things were going.

Iandre had deliberately left it at that when she'd contacted Jayna. No training schedule, no request that she bring her lightsabers, and certainly nothing resembling an assignment. Enough had happened recently that she wanted a chance to check in with her Padawan without turning every moment they spent together into another lesson. The fact that Iandre herself had only recently been formally knighted made the thought mildly amusing. She had somehow acquired a Padawan before anyone had gotten around to officially deciding she was no longer one herself.

One of Veradune's communal halls seemed as good a place as any. By the time Jayna arrived, Iandre had already claimed a place for them near one of the broad windows, far enough from the busiest tables that they could speak comfortably without being isolated from everyone else. She had abandoned anything resembling formal Jedi attire for the day, dressed simply and comfortably, with her dark hair braided loosely behind her. Two plates sat on the table along with drinks, although she'd left enough untouched that Jayna could add whatever else caught her attention.

Iandre noticed her approaching and raised a hand in greeting, a warm smile appearing almost immediately. "There you are." She gestured toward the empty seat across from her. "I wasn't entirely sure what you'd want, so I decided against pretending the Force could tell me what you were hungry for."

There was humor in her grey eyes as she settled back into her chair. This was different from standing together on a training field. No stance to correct, no invisible opponent to consider, and no lesson waiting behind an innocent question. At least, Iandre hadn't planned one.

"This isn't anything formal, Jayna." she assured her. "I realized we've spent quite a bit of time talking about what you're learning, but considerably less about how you're actually doing."

Her expression softened as she reached for her drink.

"So consider this your first official check-up with your newly official Jedi Knight." The absurdity of that particular order of events brought a quiet laugh from her. "How have you been?"

Jayna Ismet-Thio

 

[Jayna Ismet-Thio]

Objective: Check in/Make plans?
Location: Veradune
Outfit: Casual Clothes
Tags: Iandre Athlea

Jayna had spent entirely too much of the walk toward the communal hall wondering what this was about. Not that there had to be something. That was precisely what she kept telling herself. Iandre had said food. Talking. Nothing about bringing Vael'kora or Sen'kara. Nothing about training clothes. Nothing about meeting at the practice grounds. There hadn't even been one of those carefully worded statements that Jayna had learned could conceal an entire philosophical ambush behind something that sounded perfectly innocent. Which, naturally, meant Jayna's mind had decided to invent possibilities of its own.

Was this about making their new arrangement official? More official? Was there something a Padawan was supposed to do once someone formally became their Master? Had Jayna already forgotten to do it? Maybe Iandre wanted to discuss what happened next with her training. Maybe she had decided Jayna needed to spend less time on Veradune. Or more. Maybe there was some Jedi tradition nobody had bothered mentioning because everyone assumed she already knew it. Maybe—

Jayna stopped herself. She drew in a slow breath as she walked, held it for a moment, and released it. Stillness didn't mean doing nothing. Apparently Makashi lessons could follow her even when Iandre wasn't trying to teach them. The teenager let the questions settle rather than chasing each one toward its increasingly unlikely conclusion. Whatever Iandre wanted to talk about, Jayna would know soon enough. There wasn't any point trying to create an answer before the question existed. That thought earned the faintest little smile from her. Definitely spending too much time with Iandre.

Jayna entered the communal hall looking considerably more relaxed than she had felt a few moments earlier. Her dark hair was divided into two long braids, a few stubborn wisps already having escaped around her face. Instead of anything resembling Jedi robes, she'd chosen comfortable clothes suited to Veradune: loose dark trousers, a pale wrap-style shirt beneath a blue jacket, and a small collection of jewelry that made her look much more like an ordinary fourteen-year-old wandering through the settlement than a Jedi Padawan.

Her gold-brown eyes found Iandre beside the window, and whatever remnants of nervous curiosity remained faded beneath a genuine smile. The raised hand was answered with one of her own before Jayna approached the table. "Master Athlea," she greeted properly, though the brightness in her expression suggested she was still getting accustomed to being able to say that and mean her Master. "Hello."

Her eyes immediately dropped toward the plates. At Iandre's explanation, Jayna gave a quiet giggle. "Probably for the best. If the Force starts telling you what I want for lunch, I'm going to have a lot more questions about what you're teaching me."

She slipped the strap of her bag over her head, settling it beside her chair before taking the offered seat. Jayna gave the food another curious inspection. Apparently Iandre's uncertainty hadn't resulted in anything obviously dangerous. Still, she reached for one of the available choices with the caution of someone making a very important decision.

"I think you did pretty good." Then came the reassurance that this wasn't formal. Jayna's hand paused halfway toward her plate. "Oh." There was a tiny, unmistakable release of tension from her shoulders. Apparently all of that calming herself on the way here hadn't been quite as successful as she'd thought. "I knew that," Jayna claimed with absolutely no credibility whatsoever. A sheepish smile followed almost immediately. "Okay. I mostly knew that."

She listened as Iandre explained the reason for the meeting. That earned a more thoughtful look from Jayna. Iandre was right. They had talked quite a lot since Jayna had come to Veradune, and some of those conversations had become considerably more personal than discussions about footwork or lightsaber forms. But there had almost always been something they were doing. Training. Walking. Watching the Vaerix. Learning.

Simply sitting down and asking how Jayna was doing felt unexpectedly different. The description of this as her first official check-up with Iandre, a newly official Jedi Knight, made Jayna grin.

"Your first official Padawan check-up?" Her eyebrows lifted. "So you haven't done one before either?" That seemed to amuse her immensely. "Good. Then neither of us knows what we're doing."

Jayna's smile remained for another moment before the question itself finally settled over her. How had she been? Her first instinct was to say fine. It was easy. It was even mostly true. But Iandre hadn't asked how her training was going. She hadn't asked whether Jayna had been practicing. She had specifically asked how she was doing.

Jayna looked down at her plate for a few seconds, absently nudging a piece of food with her utensil. "Better, I think." There was no hesitation when she looked back up. "I still think about Mom a lot." That part wasn't going away, and Jayna didn't pretend otherwise. "Sometimes I still get that feeling that I should be doing something. Like if I'm sitting here eating lunch, or training, or having fun with someone, then that's time I could have spent looking for her."

Her mouth pulled slightly to one side. "But I know that's not really fair. There are people looking for her. People who are a lot better at that sort of thing than I am. And running off because I'm scared something happened to her wouldn't make me more useful." That lesson had taken time to accept. Accepting it every day was proving to be another matter entirely. "So...I'm trying not to make every day about waiting for someone to tell me they found her."

Jayna picked up her drink, turning it slowly between her hands. "I've been training a lot. Maybe too much sometimes." There was a small flash of guilty amusement there. "But I've also been doing other things. I've met some people. Had a few adventures. I went to the gathering here on Veradune, and that was..." Her smile returned, softer this time. "That was really nice." Especially one particular part of it, though the sudden hint of warmth reaching Jayna's cheeks suggested there might be details she wasn't volunteering without prompting. She took a drink, perhaps conveniently.

"And I like being here. Veradune, I mean." Her gaze briefly wandered through the window before returning to Iandre. "It doesn't feel like I'm just staying somewhere until Mom comes back anymore." That admission seemed to surprise Jayna herself a little. She considered it before adding quietly, "I think it feels like somewhere I'm supposed to be right now."

Her smile returned. "And now I have an official Master who only just became an official Knight, so apparently I'm helping you skip steps." Jayna leaned forward slightly, some of her usual playful energy returning now that she'd survived the supposedly terrifying Padawan check-up. "So I'd say I'm doing pretty good."

A beat passed. "How are you doing, Master?"

 

[Iandre Athlea]

Iandre remained quiet while Jayna answered, giving her the space to work through the question in her own way. The mention of her mother brought a softness to Iandre's expression, but she didn't interrupt with reassurances that neither of them could know were true. She understood enough about absence to know that sometimes there simply wasn't anything useful to say. What mattered more was that Jayna wasn't allowing the uncertainty to consume everything around it.

"I think missing her and still allowing yourself to have a life can both be true, Jayna." she said gently. "Enjoying yourself doesn't mean you've stopped caring about her, and it certainly doesn't mean you've given up." A small smile touched her lips. "And for what it's worth, I'm glad Veradune is beginning to feel like somewhere you belong rather than somewhere you're waiting." She let that stand without pressing further, though the sudden color in Jayna's cheeks when she'd mentioned the gathering had certainly not escaped her notice. That particular curiosity could wait.

The accusation that Jayna was helping her skip steps drew a quiet laugh. "Apparently you are. Though I think we've managed reasonably well despite doing everything in the wrong order." Iandre finally turned her attention properly toward her own meal, taking a few bites while considering the question Jayna had returned to her. It was strangely pleasant to realize that she didn't need to search for a diplomatic version of the truth. For once, the simplest answer was also the honest one.

"Very well, actually." There was a quiet warmth behind the admission as she reached for her drink. "I've been helping Vulpesen with some of the clerical work here. Nothing terribly exciting, but I like being useful, and I've discovered there is apparently no shortage of paperwork involved in keeping Veradune functioning." Her smile turned faintly amused. "I've also been spending more time with friends, getting out more, and I've gotten into a..."

Iandre stopped. A tiny cough escaped her as she lowered her drink, buying herself approximately one second to reconsider the absurdity of suddenly finding the word difficult. She had faced battlefields with considerably less hesitation than this. "...relationship." There. Said. Her grey eyes returned to Jayna with an expression that already suggested she knew perfectly well what was coming next. "A relatively new one."

Jayna Ismet-Thio

 

[Jayna Ismet-Thio]

Objective: Check in/Make plans?
Location: Veradune
Outfit: Casual Clothes
Tags: Iandre Athlea

Jayna's expression softened as Iandre spoke about her mother. She looked down toward her plate, the movement of her fork slowing until it eventually stopped altogether. There wasn't anything in Iandre's words that Jayna hadn't tried to tell herself before, but hearing it from someone else made it harder to dismiss. Missing her mother and living her own life weren't opposites. One didn't somehow cancel out the other.

She gave a slow, sad nod. "I know." Her voice was quieter now. "I think I have to let both be true." There was another brief pause before Jayna drew a small breath and looked back up. "Because otherwise I'd go crazy." A faint smile softened the statement, but there was truth behind it. "Or I'll wake up one day and realize everybody else my age learned how to...I don't know...be people while I was just waiting."

She wasn't entirely certain what growing up was supposed to look like. Recent experience suggested it involved considerably more confusion than adults admitted. Friends were becoming more complicated. Feelings were becoming more complicated. Even the Jedi seemed considerably less straightforward now that she was old enough to see the people underneath the robes and titles. "And Mom wouldn't want that anyway." That was something Jayna could say with certainty.

The subject turning toward the thoroughly backwards order of their new Master-and-Padawan arrangement brightened her considerably. Jayna grinned when Iandre admitted they'd managed reasonably well despite apparently doing everything wrong. "I like the wrong order." There was no hesitation whatsoever in that declaration.

"I've never really wanted to do things exactly the way everyone says they're supposed to be done." Jayna shrugged one shoulder. "I didn't even think I was going to be a Jedi for a long time. Not really."

She had been surrounded by Jedi influences practically from birth, but that had never made the path feel inevitable to her. If anything, sometimes it had done precisely the opposite. Jayna had wanted whatever path she eventually chose to belong to her, not simply be something inherited because of who her parents were.

"So getting assigned to my Master before she had officially become a Knight seems about right for me." Her grin broadened. "Besides, if we're already doing everything backwards, nobody can complain when we keep doing things differently." Probably not technically true. Jayna suspected there were several Jedi who could complain about practically anything if given sufficient motivation.

She resumed eating while Iandre answered her returned question, listening with genuine interest. The mention of clerical work produced an immediate wrinkle of Jayna's nose. "Paperwork?" That sounded awful.

Jayna understood the reason behind it, though. More than she would have before her mother disappeared, perhaps. Having something useful to do mattered. There had been days when training hadn't been about becoming a better Jedi nearly as much as it had been about having somewhere to put all the nervous energy inside her. "I understand liking being useful," she conceded. "But if being a Jedi Knight means people start giving you paperwork, maybe you should've stayed a Padawan."

Her lips twitched mischievously before she took another bite. It was everything Iandre said afterward that interested Jayna more anyway. Spending time with friends. Getting out. Things that sounded reassuringly like Iandre had a life that existed beyond training Jayna and keeping Veradune's bureaucracy from collapsing beneath the terrible weight of its own forms. Jayna smiled at that.

Then Iandre stopped. Jayna stopped too. The tiny cough earned a curious tilt of her head. Her fork remained suspended halfway between her plate and her mouth as she watched Iandre apparently struggle with whatever came next.

A… The word finally arrived. Jayna's eyebrows shot upward. "Relationship?" The fork immediately returned to the plate. Food had just become considerably less important. The expression that spread across Jayna's face was a combination of surprise, fascination, and the barely restrained delight of a teenager who had just discovered that her Jedi Master possessed gossip.

"A new relationship?" She leaned forward a little. "With who?" Apparently the proper respect owed between Padawan and Master did not extend to pretending she wasn't incredibly curious. "And how new is relatively new?"

There were suddenly so many questions that Jayna wasn't quite sure which one deserved to escape first. How had they met? Had Iandre known whoever it was for a long time? Who had asked whom? Was that even how it worked? When did two people decide that whatever they were doing had become a relationship rather than merely spending time together?

The last thought slowed Jayna's enthusiasm by the smallest degree. Because that question suddenly felt considerably less hypothetical than the others. Because of Viari Banu . Viari's wing around her shoulders at the bonfire flashed through her thoughts. The warmth of leaning against him. His beak resting so naturally against her shoulder. The strange little flutter she'd felt when he'd told her she'd blossomed. How happy she'd been simply because he'd come. How she'd kept thinking about it afterward.

Jayna's cheeks warmed. She quickly reached for her drink. There was absolutely no connection between those things and Iandre's relationship. Probably. Jayna took a sip and attempted an expression of casual curiosity that was undermined considerably by the color in her cheeks.

"So..." Her gold-brown eyes returned to Iandre. "How do you know?" A tiny crease appeared between her eyebrows. "That it's a relationship, I mean. Instead of just..." She made a vague little gesture with one hand, searching for the correct description. "...really liking spending time with somebody?" The question had started as an attempt to extract gossip. By the time Jayna finished asking it, however, there was considerably more genuine curiosity behind her eyes than she'd intended to reveal.

 

[Iandre Athlea]

Iandre listened without interrupting as Jayna worked through the answer for herself. There was sadness there, certainly, and she doubted that would disappear simply because the girl had begun finding ways to live alongside it. Nor should it. Missing someone mattered because the person mattered. What caught Iandre more deeply, however, was Jayna's quiet fear that she might someday discover everyone else her age had learned how to be people while she had spent those same years waiting.

"Then don't wait." There was nothing commanding in the words. If anything, they were unusually gentle. "Not like that, anyway. Look for your mother when there's something you can do. Miss her when you miss her. Be angry when you're angry, and hope when you have reason to hope. But you're fourteen, Jayna. You're allowed to have friends, go places, discover things you love, make mistakes, and occasionally do something completely useless simply because you enjoyed doing it."

A small smile touched her lips. "Learning how to be a person sounds considerably more important than learning how to be a Jedi, actually."

As for what Jayna's mother would have wanted, Iandre wasn't going to pretend she possessed answers that belonged to another woman. She knew enough, however, to understand why Jayna had reached that conclusion. "I imagine your mother wouldn't want you to stop living while you wait for her either." Her expression softened. "But I think the important part is that you're beginning to understand that for yourself."

Jayna's considerably more enthusiastic declaration that she preferred doing things in the wrong order shifted the mood naturally away from anything quite so heavy, and Iandre's smile grew. "Good. Because I'm afraid you've chosen the wrong Master if you wanted a particularly conventional Jedi education."

That was something of an understatement. Her own progression from Padawan to Knight had taken approximately nine centuries, several governments, more than one Jedi tradition, and a truly unreasonable amount of improvisation. She wasn't about to become overly concerned because Jayna had technically become her Padawan before someone officially handed Iandre the appropriate title.

"Different doesn't necessarily mean wrong. We'll keep what works, change what doesn't, and make certain you eventually become the Jedi you are supposed to be rather than the one somebody else thinks you ought to be." A hint of amusement entered her golden eyes. "Although I reserve the right to occasionally insist that your Master knows best."

Then Jayna made the thoroughly reasonable observation that becoming a Knight apparently resulted in paperwork.

Iandre gave her a mildly aggrieved look across the table. "Unfortunately, nobody mentioned that during the knighting ceremony." She took another bite before conceding, "Although the clerical work isn't really part of being a Jedi. I've been helping where I can, and apparently somewhere along the way I became rather good at it." Whether that was something worth boasting about remained debatable.

It was Jayna's next reaction that caught her entirely unprepared.

Iandre had expected curiosity. She had not expected Jayna's fork to hit the plate as though the announcement had immediately rendered food irrelevant. The sheer transformation in her Padawan was enough to draw a quiet laugh from her, and for a moment Iandre wondered whether mentioning Judah had been a tactical error. Apparently Jedi training, uncertainty over the future, and even missing mothers could temporarily be displaced by the discovery that one's Master had acquired a romantic life.

"Yes, a relationship," she confirmed, accepting her fate with considerably more composure than the little cough had suggested. "His name is Judah Dashiell . We met during the relief efforts on Ithor, although there was nothing romantic about it then." There couldn't have been. Iandre had still been betrothed to Rellik, with an entirely different future stretching ahead of her. Judah had simply been someone she'd met while they were all trying to help people caught in circumstances far larger than themselves.

So much had changed afterward.

"We crossed paths again later, after my life had become rather different." She didn't elaborate upon Rellik. Jayna knew enough about her to understand there were pieces of Iandre's past she carried without needing to unwrap them every time they brushed against the present. "Judah started inviting me places. At first I wasn't entirely certain what to make of that." Warmth crept into her expression almost without permission. "Then there was dinner. After that, I suppose we both stopped pretending we were merely finding excuses to spend time together."

Jayna's demand to know precisely how new relatively new meant earned an amused look. "New enough that you are not getting an entire romantic history over lunch." It wasn't really a refusal so much as a boundary wrapped in humor. "But we've been seeing one another for a little while. He came to the festival, actually."

She wondered whether Jayna had noticed him there, although, given the blush suddenly spreading across the girl's cheeks, Iandre suspected Jayna's attention at the gathering had been elsewhere. The timing was interesting. So was the sudden interest in her drink.

Iandre didn't comment on either. Not yet.

The question that followed changed things anyway. Her amusement softened as she regarded Jayna across the table. How do you know? It would have been easy to answer with something about dates or conversations, about the moment two people decided to put a name to whatever was growing between them. Yet the way Jayna had asked suggested she wasn't merely interested in Iandre anymore. The vague gesture, the color that hadn't entirely left her cheeks, and the careful distinction between a relationship and really liking spending time with somebody made that much apparent.

"I don't think there's one moment that makes it true." Iandre set her utensil down. "Sometimes there probably is. Someone asks, someone answers, and suddenly there's a word for it. With Judah..." She considered that for a moment, and a small smile appeared. "I think I simply realized that I wasn't only enjoying the time we spent together anymore. I was beginning to hope there would be more of it."

There was another way to answer, though, one that perhaps suited a conversation between a Jedi Master and her Padawan better than any explanation Iandre could construct from words alone.

She reached gently through the Force, not toward Jayna's thoughts but toward her awareness, offering rather than imposing. There was no attempt to pull anything from the girl in return and nothing Jayna was required to accept. Iandre simply allowed the emotions beneath her answer to brush against their bond.

There was care, deep enough that Judah's happiness had begun to matter independently of her own. There was hope, delicate but persistent, attached to possibilities she wasn't ready to name and nevertheless wanted to discover. Beneath both rested the beginnings of love, not some overwhelming certainty about forever, but something quieter and warmer that had been allowed to grow naturally. There was vulnerability within it as well, because hoping for more meant accepting that another person had become important enough that losing what they were building could hurt.

Perhaps most importantly, there was no attempt to replace anything that had come before. This was something new, belonging to a different part of Iandre's life and a future she had once had very little idea how to imagine.

She allowed Jayna to feel it only briefly before withdrawing, leaving the emotions as something offered rather than something her Padawan was expected to immediately understand.

"Something like that," Iandre said softly.

Her smile returned as she picked up her utensil again. "But really liking spending time with someone can be part of it. It can also simply mean you really like spending time with them. You don't have to decide immediately what every feeling means." There was no knowing look and no attempt to corner Jayna into explaining the blush Iandre had noticed. She remembered being fourteen well enough, even if fourteen belonged to another lifetime entirely. Feelings rarely arrived accompanied by convenient instructions explaining what one was supposed to do with them.

"Sometimes you let something be good for a while and see what it becomes."

Iandre took another bite, deliberately returning some of her attention to the meal and giving Jayna room to decide whether that was enough. She could have left the matter there. Perhaps a particularly disciplined Jedi Master would have.

Unfortunately for Jayna, Iandre's curiosity eventually won.

A hint of amusement returned to her golden eyes as she glanced across the table. "Of course, if this question has become considerably less hypothetical than it was thirty seconds ago, I'm willing to listen."

Jayna Ismet-Thio

 

[Jayna Ismet-Thio]

Objective: Check in/Make plans?
Location: Veradune
Outfit: Casual Clothes
Tags: Iandre Athlea

Jayna listened. Really listened. The advice about her mother wasn't particularly complicated, but that didn't make it easy. Don't wait. Not in the way that meant putting everything else on hold. She could search when there was something she could actually do. She could miss her mother when the feeling came. She could even be angry about it without needing to turn that anger into some desperate attempt to fix something she couldn't fix. The rest of it sounded almost suspiciously permissive. "Even completely useless things?" Jayna asked, a faint smile tugging at her lips. Apparently those were officially Master-approved now.

Her expression softened again when Iandre suggested that learning how to be a person might be more important than learning how to be a Jedi. Jayna slowly nodded. "I think Mom would agree with that." Her gaze dropped briefly. "She'd probably tell me that if I don't know who Jayna is, I can't really know what kind of Jedi Jayna is supposed to be." The words made enough sense that Jayna decided they sounded like something her mother might say, anyway.

When Iandre warned that Jayna had selected the wrong Master for a conventional Jedi education, Jayna's smile grew considerably brighter. "Good." That answer came instantly. "I think conventional sounds boring."

More importantly, Iandre's promise that they would keep what worked, change what didn't, and discover what sort of Jedi Jayna was supposed to become settled comfortably into a place inside her. She had never wanted to become a copy of her parents, or anybody else. She loved them. She admired them. But whatever she eventually became needed to belong to her.

The warning that Iandre reserved the right to insist the Master knew best earned a skeptical narrowing of Jayna's eyes. "Occasionally," she repeated. She pointed her fork toward Iandre. "I heard that part."

Her mock suspicion survived right through Iandre's defense of paperwork. Jayna considered the explanation before shaking her head. "No. Still dreadful." Being useful, however, wasn't dreadful. That part Jayna understood perfectly well. Sometimes having something that needed doing was enough to keep everything else from becoming too loud.

Then there was Judah Dashiell. Jayna stored that name away immediately. "I don't think I met him," she said when Iandre mentioned he'd attended the festival. Then she frowned slightly. "Or maybe I did and didn't know he was Judah."

There had been a lot of people at the gathering. And admittedly one person had occupied rather more of Jayna's attention than everyone else. Still, she listened eagerly to the limited romantic history Iandre was apparently willing to surrender. Meeting during relief efforts wasn't particularly exciting from a gossip perspective, but the second meeting was much more promising. Invitations. Dinner. Finding excuses to spend time together.

Jayna's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. That sounded...She reached for her drink again. That sounded potentially relevant. Before she could decide precisely how relevant, Iandre answered her more serious question.

Jayna watched her closely as she explained. There wasn't one magical moment. No secret sign that suddenly announced that two people were now something different. Sometimes there was a conversation, apparently, but for Iandre it had been the realization that spending time with Judah wasn't enough anymore. She'd begun wanting there to be a next time. Jayna understood that. Possibly too well.

Then Iandre reached through the Force. Jayna instinctively opened herself to it. What touched her wasn't a thought. There weren't words or images to interpret. It was simply feeling, and for the few moments Iandre allowed it to exist between them, Jayna's playful curiosity disappeared completely. Care. Hope. Something warmer beneath them that Jayna couldn't quite name from experience, even if she knew what it must be. And vulnerability.

That surprised her most. Jayna had imagined relationships mostly from the outside. People liked each other. They wanted to spend time together. They went places together, held hands, kissed, probably did all sorts of other mysterious adult things that Jayna had only an incomplete understanding of. She hadn't really considered the risk contained inside caring about someone that much.

When Iandre withdrew, Jayna remained silent for several seconds. "Oh." It was a much quieter oh than the one she'd given earlier. "I think I understand." Maybe not completely. Probably not completely. But enough.

She picked at her food while Iandre explained that really liking someone's company could mean something or could simply mean exactly what it sounded like. More importantly, Jayna didn't have to decide what it meant immediately. That was reassuring. "Sometimes you let something be good for a while and see what it becomes."

Jayna smiled faintly. "I like that." She should have known that wouldn't be the end of it. The teenager had just taken another bite when Iandre casually mentioned that the question might have become considerably less hypothetical.

Jayna froze. Her eyes slowly rose from her plate. "I don't know what you're talking about." It was possibly the least convincing statement Jayna had ever made. Her cheeks immediately betrayed her, warming enough that there was no plausible explanation involving the temperature of the communal hall.

Jayna stared at Iandre for another second. Then another. Finally, she sighed. "Okay." Her fork went down again. "Maybe it's a little less hypothetical."

She hesitated, suddenly discovering that gossip was considerably more entertaining when it belonged to somebody else. "There's a boy." That sounded ridiculous. Jayna immediately corrected herself. "Well, he's not exactly a boy." That sounded much worse. Her eyes widened. "No! He's my age! Mostly. I mean he's a Rishii, and I don't actually know how Rishii ages work, but he's not some old man." Excellent recovery.

Jayna covered her face with both hands. "This was easier when we were talking about you." A muffled giggle escaped through her fingers before she finally lowered them. His name is Viari. Viari Banu." Saying it aloud made her smile despite herself.

"We've known each other for a while. We're friends. Good friends, I think." Jayna considered that. "He came to the gathering too. That's who I was with for most of it." That explained the earlier blush rather neatly. "We've had adventures together before, and I always liked being around him. But at the gathering it felt..." Jayna searched for the word, then gave up and gestured vaguely. "Different."

Her gaze wandered toward the window. "He put his wing around me because he thought I might be cold." The smile that appeared was small but unmistakably fond. "I wasn't." She glanced back at Iandre. "But I didn't tell him that." There. That seemed like significant evidence.

"And I leaned against him, and he rested his beak on my shoulder, and it was really comfortable. Not just because his wing is basically a giant blanket." Jayna paused. "Although it is, and I'm slightly annoyed I didn't discover that when we were somewhere with snow."

Her amusement faded into something more thoughtful. "He told me I'd blossomed since the last time he'd seen me." That had lodged itself firmly in Jayna's memory. "I wasn't completely sure what he meant. I think it was a compliment. It sounded kind of..." Her nose wrinkled as she searched for the word. "...grown-up." She wasn't quite willing to say romantic yet.

"And when I knew he was coming, I was really happy. Then when he got there, I was even happier. And afterward I kept thinking about everything." Jayna glanced down. "Especially the wing thing." Another blush. "So I don't know."

She looked back across the table at Iandre, her expression caught somewhere between embarrassment and earnest curiosity. "I don't know if I like Viari differently now, or if I always liked him differently and I'm only starting to notice." A small pause followed. "And I definitely don't know if he likes me differently." That seemed important too.

"But..." Jayna drew one finger slowly around the edge of her cup. "When you said you started hoping there would be more time with Judah..." Her smile returned. "I do that." There wasn't much uncertainty in that particular admission. "I always want there to be a next time with Viari."

Jayna considered everything Iandre had told her and gave a tiny nod, almost to herself. "So maybe I don't need to figure out what that means yet." Her eyes lifted toward her Master. "I can just let it be good for a while and see what it becomes."

Then a mischievous little smile broke through the embarrassment. "But we're absolutely coming back to Judah eventually. You don't get out of the gossip just because I have some too."

 

[Iandre Athlea]

Iandre had managed to keep her expression composed through most of Jayna's increasingly disastrous explanation of Viari's age. It became considerably harder when the girl buried her face in her hands, and by the time a muffled giggle escaped through her fingers, Iandre's own smile had escaped any attempt at restraint. Then Jayna gave her a name. Viari Banu. Recognition came immediately, though Iandre didn't interrupt. Whatever surprise she felt at discovering that Jayna's decidedly less hypothetical questions concerned someone she already knew could wait.

Instead, she listened as Jayna described their friendship, their adventures, and the gathering. The wing around her shoulders. Leaning against him. His beak resting against her shoulder. The compliment that had stayed with her afterward. More revealing than any individual detail was the way Jayna spoke about him. The embarrassment came and went, but the fondness remained throughout. Iandre remembered a much younger Viari whose Basic had still been uncertain, who had called her friend-Iandre and seemed to invest the word with considerably more significance than its simplicity suggested. She remembered his concern for the people around him and the quiet brush of feathers against her knee when he'd noticed something was wrong without knowing why. Viari had possessed an instinct for kindness even then. That didn't tell her what he felt for Jayna now, but it did make Iandre rather glad of the name her Padawan had given her.

"I think that's exactly what you should do." There was warmth in her voice when Jayna reached the conclusion on her own. "You know you care about him. You know you want there to be a next time. That's enough to know today. You don't have to decide whether you always felt this way or whether something changed at the gathering before you're allowed to enjoy it." She hesitated for just long enough that Jayna might notice there was something else coming, and her smile deepened. "Although there is one thing I probably ought to tell you. I know Viari."

She gave the revelation a moment to settle before continuing, mercifully resisting any temptation to make Jayna suffer beneath it for long. "We met on Dantooine some time ago. His Basic wasn't nearly as good then, but we spent enough time together that I got to know him a little." Her expression softened at the memory. "I liked him. He was kind, brave, and very protective of the people he'd decided were his friends." That was as far as she was willing to take it. Iandre wasn't going to dissect Viari's behavior for Jayna or pretend that an encounter from a while ago had given her any special insight into what he felt now.

"So I can tell you that I think you've chosen a very good person to be confused about." A hint of amusement touched her eyes. "I cannot tell you whether the wing meant what part of you is clearly hoping it meant. That you'll have to discover for yourself." Perhaps that was part of what made these things worth experiencing in the first place. Iandre could teach Jayna to recognize danger, guide her through the Force, correct her footing with a lightsaber, and offer whatever wisdom her own mistakes had purchased. She couldn't spare her Padawan the uncertainty of caring about someone. Nor, looking at the smile that appeared whenever Jayna said Viari's name, did she think she would want to.

"I think your mother would probably approve of this particular completely useless thing." Her smile became gentler. Friends, affection, awkward feelings, and evenings spent wondering whether a wing around one's shoulders meant something more were precisely the pieces of a life Jayna had been afraid she was missing while she waited for her mother to return.

Then came the threat concerning Judah. Iandre leaned back slightly and regarded her Padawan across the table with an expression of exaggerated resignation. "I was afraid you were going to remember that." She reached for her drink, taking a deliberately unhurried sip before setting it down again. "Very well. We can come back to Judah eventually." The smile she failed to suppress probably betrayed considerably more than the concession itself. "But I would like it formally recorded that I answered your question and you volunteered nearly everything about Viari without interrogation. Your Master is entirely innocent."

Jayna Ismet-Thio

 

[Jayna Ismet-Thio]

Objective: Check in/Make plans?
Location: Veradune
Outfit: Casual Clothes
Tags: Iandre Athlea

Jayna listened with considerably more concentration than she had expected to give a conversation about relationships. Then again, this wasn't entirely about relationships anymore. It was about her relationship—or friendship, or whatever confusing space existed between those words—with Viari.

Iandre's reassurance helped. Jayna knew she cared about him. She knew she wanted to see him again. Apparently she didn't have to immediately sort every flutter in her stomach into the correct category or decide exactly when she'd started feeling it. That sounded much more manageable.

She was nodding thoughtfully when Iandre hesitated. I know Viari. Jayna stopped. Her gold-brown eyes widened. "You—" There was a moment in which she clearly hoped she'd misunderstood. "You know Viari?"

The color that had only recently begun retreating from Jayna's cheeks returned with reinforcements. Suddenly she was replaying absolutely everything she'd just said. The wing. Leaning against him. His beak on her shoulder. The fact that she'd liked it. The fact that she'd admitted thinking about it afterward. To someone who actually knew him.

"Oh no." Jayna sank several centimeters lower in her chair. "You let me say all of that before telling me?" There was accusation in the words, but no actual offense. If anything, the embarrassment was rapidly becoming funny enough that Jayna couldn't keep a smile from appearing.

She straightened again as Iandre explained where she'd met Viari. Dantooine. A younger Viari, apparently, whose Basic hadn't been nearly as good. Jayna tried to imagine that version of him and found herself smiling. More importantly, everything Iandre remembered sounded like the Viari Jayna knew. Kind. Brave. Protective of his friends. Her smile softened, and she gave a small nod. "Yeah. That's him."

Something about having Iandre confirm it made Jayna strangely happy. It wasn't that she needed her Master's permission to like someone. Iandre had just spent most of lunch explaining why Jayna needed to figure out who Jayna was rather than become what someone else expected. But approval still felt nice.

When Iandre declared that Jayna had chosen a very good person to be confused about, she laughed. "I guess that's something." She nodded, smiling down at her plate before spearing another bite. "I think he's a good person too." Perhaps that was the part she understood best. Whatever the wing meant, whatever Viari had meant when he'd said she'd blossomed, and whatever might eventually happen between them, Jayna trusted him. She enjoyed being around him. He made her happy. That was enough for today.

The reminder that Iandre couldn't tell her whether the wing had meant what Jayna hoped it meant brought another blush, though this one came with a tiny smile rather than an attempt to hide behind her drink. "I knew you wouldn’t." A beat passed. "I was still hoping you would somehow give me some hint." She gave a sheepish shrug. Apparently being a Jedi Knight with a Padawan did not grant supernatural insight into teenage Rishii boys. That seemed like an oversight in Jedi training.

Then Iandre mentioned her mother. The smile remained, but something behind it changed. Jayna looked down. "I think she'd approve too." There was happiness in imagining it. Her mother teasing her, probably. Asking questions. Wanting to know who Viari was, how they'd met, what they'd done together. Perhaps offering advice Jayna would pretend she didn't need before remembering every word of it later. And there was the familiar ache because her mother wasn't here to do any of those things.

Jayna swallowed and pushed another piece of food around her plate. "I hope I get to tell her." Her voice was quieter. "About Viari, I mean. Myself." She let that thought exist without trying to turn it into anything larger. "I'd like that."

Jayna took another bite, and by the time she looked up again there was more of her usual brightness in her expression. Hope was allowed too. Iandre had said so herself. The exaggerated resignation over Judah helped. Jayna's smile immediately broadened. "Eventually," she repeated, making it quite clear that she intended to remember the promise.

Iandre's insistence upon her innocence, however, earned a narrowing of Jayna's eyes. "Technically." She considered the matter with exaggerated seriousness. "You answered my question. And technically, you didn't ask me anything." Another bite disappeared.

"But you knew exactly what you were doing." Jayna didn’t know whether it was true, but it sounded like something Jayna would do herself if she were the older, wiser one. Jayna pointed her fork accusingly across the table. "You said you were willing to listen." She couldn't maintain the accusation for long before giggling. "Which worked, so I guess you win."

Not that Jayna regretted it. The confession had started slowly and painfully, especially once she'd managed to make Viari's age sound catastrophically questionable, but after the initial embarrassment it had actually felt good to talk about him. She glanced down, nudging the last few pieces of food around her plate.

"I wanted to know what you thought anyway," Jayna admitted. "Even if it took me forever to actually say what I was asking." Her gaze returned to Iandre. "And I'm glad I did." She meant it. Iandre hadn't told her what her feelings were. She hadn't told Jayna what Viari felt or what she should do next. Instead she'd made the uncertainty seem normal. Something Jayna was allowed to enjoy rather than a problem she needed to solve. "So I'll let it be good and see what happens." That sounded like a plan.

A few more bites followed as their conversation settled, until Jayna finally chased the last substantial piece around her plate and ate it. She leaned back afterward, looking down with mild surprise at a plate that was nearly empty despite how many times she'd forgotten food existed during their conversation. Her eyes lifted toward her Master.

"So..." Jayna rested her forearms lightly against the edge of the table, a curious smile appearing. "What happens next?" She gestured between them. "Not with Viari. I know that answer now." Her smile turned playful. "And apparently I'm not allowed the rest of the Judah story yet."

She meant them this time. Master and Padawan. The strange, backwards, thoroughly unconventional arrangement Jayna had discovered she was rather excited about. "We've officially checked up on each other. We've eaten almost everything. I've learned entirely too much about relationships and absolutely nothing about how to escape paperwork." Her eyebrows lifted expectantly. "So what's next for Master Athlea and Padawan Ismet-Thio?"

 

[Iandre Athlea]

Iandre's expression softened when Jayna spoke about wanting to tell her mother herself. There was nothing useful she could offer that would make the absence hurt less, and she wasn't going to promise an outcome neither of them could guarantee. Instead, she reached across the table and briefly rested her hand over Jayna's. "I hope you get to tell her too." She left it there, simple and sincere, before allowing Jayna to guide them back toward considerably safer territory. The accusation that followed, concerning Iandre's supposedly calculated willingness to listen, earned an expression of exaggerated innocence that probably did more to undermine her defense than to support it. "I have absolutely no idea what you're implying." The smile that followed surrendered the argument entirely. "But I'm glad you told me. And for the record, you're allowed the rest of the Judah story eventually. I simply reserve the right to decide how much ammunition my Padawan requires at any given time."

Her amusement remained as Jayna summarized everything they'd accomplished over lunch, but the final question made Iandre pause. What happened next? There were plenty of conventional answers. Training schedules. Lightsaber practice. Force exercises. Lessons in history, diplomacy, meditation, survival, investigation, and all the other pieces someone somewhere had decided belonged in a Jedi's education. They would eventually do most of them. Yet Iandre had already promised Jayna that they weren't going to build her according to someone else's idea of the Jedi she ought to become. That meant there was something considerably more important to establish first. "Actually, I think what's next is that I ask you a question I probably should have asked before agreeing to become your Master." She settled back in her chair, studying Jayna thoughtfully. "What do you already know? Not only what you've been taught about the Force or how well you can use a lightsaber. I want to know what training you've had, what you're good at, what you struggle with, what you've tried and hated, and what you haven't had an opportunity to learn yet."

It seemed obvious when she said it aloud. Jayna wasn't a newly arrived Initiate waiting for someone to begin at the first lesson. She had fourteen years of life behind her, and however much training had already been fitted into them. Ian needed to understand the foundation before she started adding anything to it. More importantly, she wanted to know where Jayna hoped that foundation might eventually lead. "And there's another question. You don't need a permanent answer, because you're fourteen and I would be rather concerned if you thought you had the rest of your life completely planned already." A small smile appeared. "But when you imagine yourself older, what do you want to be? What kind of Jedi do you picture yourself becoming? Or forget the Jedi part for a moment. What kind of person?"

Ian was quiet for a moment before adding, "When I was your age, I wanted to be a Temple Guardian." The admission brought a faintly nostalgic smile. She could remember how certain that future had once seemed. "I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. Protect the Temple, protect the people inside it, spend my life serving somewhere that felt permanent." There was an irony to that last word that nine centuries had given her, but it didn't make the girl she'd once been foolish for wanting it. "I didn't become one. My life went somewhere entirely different, and then considerably farther than I could possibly have imagined. That's why I'm asking what you want now, not demanding that you decide what you'll want forever." Her gaze remained warmly on Jayna. "So that's what happens next for Master Athlea and Padawan Ismet-Thio. I learn who my Padawan already is. Then we figure out where she wants to go from there."

Jayna Ismet-Thio

 

[Jayna Ismet-Thio]

Objective: Check in/Make plans?
Location: Veradune
Outfit: Casual Clothes
Tags: Iandre Athlea

Jayna's expression softened when Iandre's hand settled over hers. She didn't answer immediately. She merely turned her hand slightly beneath Iandre's and gave a small nod. "I hope so too." There wasn't anything else to say about it. Not without wandering back into all the questions neither of them could answer.

Fortunately, accusing her Master of manipulating her into divulging embarrassing information proved an excellent distraction. Jayna gave Iandre's claim of complete innocence a deeply skeptical look. "Uh-huh." She clearly didn't believe a word of it.

The promise of more Judah information eventually made up for the offense, however. Jayna grinned. "Fine. But I think Padawans require lots of ammunition. It's important for our training." She couldn't possibly explain which part of Jedi training required romantic gossip about one's Master, but that seemed like an unnecessary detail.

Then the conversation shifted. Jayna had expected an answer involving training. Perhaps Iandre would tell her when they were meeting next or finally start laying out what being her Padawan was actually going to involve. Instead, Iandre admitted that she probably should have asked Jayna something before agreeing to become her Master.

Jayna's eyebrows rose. "That sounds ominous." It wasn't, though. As Iandre explained, Jayna's expression became thoughtful. What did she already know? That was a much larger question than it initially sounded.

Jayna listened through the rest before attempting an answer, including Iandre's story about once wanting to become a Temple Guardian. That surprised her a little. Not because she couldn't imagine Iandre protecting people, but because it was strange imagining her Master at fourteen and absolutely certain that she knew what her entire future would look like. Nine hundred years later, apparently things hadn't gone precisely according to plan.

"So I'm allowed to change my answer later?" The question came with a little smile. "Good."

Jayna sat back and folded her arms loosely while she thought. "Okay. What I know." Her nose wrinkled. "This might take a while." She started with the easiest part. "Dad taught me most of the combat stuff."

That probably wouldn't surprise Iandre. "He showed me how to use the Force when I'm fighting. Moving faster, jumping farther, making myself stronger, pushing and pulling things, sensing what's around me..." Jayna began counting vaguely on her fingers before abandoning the effort. "That sort of thing. Some defensive things too. I've practiced taking energy with the Force a little, but I'm not very good at it yet." There was an important distinction between knowing something existed, having practiced it, and actually being capable of relying upon it when someone was shooting at you. "I've learned how to hide myself in the Force some too. Not disappear or anything. Just make myself harder to notice that way."

Her lightsaber education had been similarly broad at first. "Dad showed me a little bit of basically everything with a lightsaber. The forms, what they're supposed to do, their basic movements. Enough that I could try them and know what they were." Jayna smiled faintly. "Then I found Ataru." That part had clicked. "I liked moving. I liked jumping and attacking from places people didn't expect and using the Force as part of how I fought. So once I started getting good at Ataru, that's what I wanted to practice." Which had produced the obvious consequence.

"So my Ataru is a lot better than everything else. The other forms..." Jayna rocked one hand uncertainly. "I know enough that I'm not starting from nothing, but I wouldn't claim I'm particularly good at most of them." Makashi was beginning to become an exception. "And obviously you've been fixing that with Makashi." Her smile turned teasing. "Or adding Makashi to the Form of Jayna." She still liked that description considerably better.

"Mom was different." Even saying the word produced the slightest shift in Jayna's expression, but she continued. "She wasn't as focused on fighting when she taught me. Mom showed me more about interacting with everything around me." Jayna glanced toward the window as if Veradune itself provided a convenient example. "Moving things without touching them. Feeling what's around me. Using the Force to affect the environment instead of always using it directly against somebody. Controlling things carefully instead of just..." She extended one hand and made a sudden pushing gesture. "Boom."

A little smile appeared. "She was always better at making me slow down." That sounded particularly like Jairdain. "She also taught me more about the mental side. Meditation, sensing things, trusting what I feel in the Force. Dad taught some of that too, and Mom taught me things that could be used in a fight. It wasn't completely separate. They just..." Jayna considered the distinction. "Saw the Force differently, I guess."

And Jayna had inherited pieces of both. "I've tried healing. I'm not very good at it. There are a lot of things I know about that I can't really do yet. And probably a lot of things I don't even know enough about to know I haven't learned them." She paused. "I don't know what I hate yet." That earned a small laugh. "Except paperwork." Apparently that lesson had already been firmly established.

"I like lightsaber training. I like learning things I can actually do with the Force. I like figuring out how different things work together instead of treating every skill like it's separate." That was probably why Iandre's Makashi lessons had appealed to her. Nobody had demanded she throw away Ataru and become something else. Instead, she'd learned principles that could make what she already knew better.

Then came the harder question. What did Jayna want to become? She was silent for a little while. "I want to be a Jedi." There was an almost surprised certainty in the statement. A few years ago she wasn't sure she would ever say that. Now she could. "But I don't think I want being a Jedi to be everything I am."

That seemed important after everything they'd discussed over lunch. Jayna liked the idea of the Jedi and serving the Light, but not necessarily how the Jedi Orders had been implemented. "I know what I can do gives me responsibilities. Dad and Mom both taught me that. Having the Force doesn't make me better than somebody who doesn't. Having a lightsaber doesn't mean I get to decide what's right just because I'm the person holding it." Jayna frowned thoughtfully. "I think if you have the ability to help someone, you should." That was closer.

"I want to fight for people who can't fight for themselves. I don’t mean always actual fighting. I want to protect people when somebody stronger thinks they can hurt them because nobody is going to stop them." Her expression became more certain as she continued. "Justice, I guess." Not revenge. Not punishment for its own sake. Justice. "I want to be the person who does stop them." There was something in that aspiration that fit both halves of the education she'd described. Her father's willingness to fight when fighting became necessary and her mother's emphasis on understanding the world beyond the immediate confrontation.

"But I don't want to become some politician." That came considerably faster. Jayna shook her head. "I don't want to spend my life deciding which government is right or which faction deserves what planet or getting involved every time somebody changes the lines on a galactic map. Governments come and go all the time anyway."

She gave Iandre a meaningful look. Her nine-hundred-year-old Master was probably unusually qualified to confirm that particular observation. "I care about the people living underneath all those flags." That felt like the distinction she was trying to make. "If somebody needs help, I don't want to have to ask which government they're part of before deciding whether they're worth helping."

Jayna glanced down at her nearly empty plate, considering everything she'd just said. "So..." She slowly looked back up. "I want to be strong enough that when someone needs protecting, I can protect them. Smart enough to know when fighting isn't actually the answer. And good enough that having power doesn't make me start thinking everybody else should do what I say."

A small smile appeared. "And I want friends. Adventures. Maybe..." Her cheeks gained the faintest warmth as the previous subject threatened to intrude. "...someone special someday." Viari went unnamed this time. "I want a life." Her smile softened. "I guess I want to become a Jedi who remembers she's Jayna first."

She tilted her head, watching Iandre for her reaction. "Is that enough for you to figure out where we start?"

Jax Thio Jairdain Ismet-Thio

 

[Iandre Athlea]

Iandre hadn't interrupted once. What began as a question about Jayna's training became something far more revealing as her Padawan worked through everything her parents had taught her. There was breadth there, more than Ian had necessarily expected at fourteen, but what interested her most was how Jayna described it. She already understood the difference between knowing a technique and being able to depend upon it. She knew which lightsaber form suited her rather than simply which one she'd practiced longest. More importantly, she was beginning to understand what she'd inherited from two teachers who approached the Force differently without treating either approach as wrong. By the time Jayna reached the Form of Jayna, Iandre's smile had become difficult to suppress. "Makashi is not corrupting the Form of Jayna nearly as much as you make it sound."

Then Jayna answered the harder question, and whatever teasing response Ian might have made disappeared in favor of simply listening. A Jedi who remembers she's Jayna first. Iandre suspected her fourteen-year-old self wouldn't have understood parts of that answer. Back then, becoming a Jedi and becoming herself had seemed almost indistinguishable. The Order had been home, family, purpose, and future all at once. Nine centuries had complicated that certainty considerably. Hearing Jayna want the Jedi to be part of a life rather than its entirety didn't trouble her. If anything, Ian thought it might save her Padawan from having to learn some lessons nearly as painfully as she had. "Yes." Her answer came without hesitation. "That's more than enough to start."

She leaned back slightly, considering everything Jayna had given her. "Your parents gave you a very good foundation. I'm not interested in replacing either of their approaches with mine. Your father taught you how to act decisively with the Force, your mother taught you how to interact with it more carefully, and you've already started deciding how those things fit together for you." There were weaknesses to work on, certainly. Healing could improve. Tutaminis would require considerably more practice before Jayna could trust it under pressure. Her reliance on Ataru could be balanced without taking away what she loved about it, which was precisely why Ian had begun introducing Makashi. "And now I know enough not to waste our time beginning with lessons you've already learned. We can strengthen what needs strengthening, fill in what was missed, and start exploring things neither of your parents had an opportunity to teach you."

A thought occurred to her then. Ian mentally reviewed Jayna's rather extensive accounting of Force abilities and found one absence conspicuous enough to ask about rather than assume. "Do you know telepathy?" She lifted a finger before Jayna could interpret that too broadly. "Not simply sensing someone's presence or emotions. Communicating directly through the Force. Sending words, images, impressions. Receiving them deliberately." Mind reading was another matter entirely, and not something Ian intended to casually encourage. "There are considerably more intrusive applications, but those come with ethical questions I would rather discuss before teaching you how to rummage around inside someone's head."

Her expression softened as she returned to the larger answer Jayna had given her. "As for everything else, I think wanting to be strong enough to protect someone without becoming convinced that strength gives you authority over them is a very good place to begin." She studied Jayna for another moment, something about the girl's answer stirring memories considerably older than either of them appeared. "Actually, parts of what you just said reminded me of Obi-Wan Kenobi." The comparison brought a small smile to her face. "Not all of it. I don't remember him placing quite as much emphasis on making certain Obi-Wan existed separately from Jedi Kenobi. But protecting people, knowing that fighting isn't always the answer, and understanding that carrying a lightsaber doesn't give you the right to decide everything for everyone else?" Her smile warmed. "I think he would have understood that rather well."

Ian paused before adding, "And yes, you're allowed friends, adventures, someone special someday, and an identity beyond whatever title happens to come before your name." There was no reason to tease her about Viari again when the faint color in Jayna's cheeks had already done the work for her. "So we'll train you to be a Jedi. We'll also make certain we leave enough room for you to become Jayna. If we're doing this properly, those two things shouldn't have to compete."

Jayna Ismet-Thio

 

[Jayna Ismet-Thio]

Objective: Check in/Make plans?
Location: Veradune
Outfit: Casual Clothes
Tags: Iandre Athlea

Jayna answered the defense of Makashi with a smile and a small shake of her head. "No, Makashi isn't corrupting the Form of Jayna." She considered the distinction with exaggerated seriousness. "It's making the Form of Jayna more mature." That sounded sufficiently wise and appropriately Jedi-like for perhaps half a second before Jayna giggled. "Which is probably good. Apparently the original version involved a lot of jumping at people."

She remained pleased when Iandre declared that her answer about the future was more than enough to start. There was something reassuring about not being expected to have everything figured out yet. Jayna had meant what she'd said. That was who she wanted to become now. She also suspected both of them understood perfectly well that fourteen-year-old Jayna didn't get to dictate every belief and ambition of twenty-four-year-old Jayna.

People changed. Iandre was rather dramatic evidence of that. For now, though, Jayna knew enough to point herself in a direction. Hearing Iandre praise the foundation her parents had given her brought a quiet pride to Jayna's expression. She missed one of them terribly and occasionally found the other frustrating in precisely the way only a parent could be frustrating, but she'd never doubted how much they'd given her.

What excited her more was what came afterward. Iandre wasn't planning to start over. She wanted to build. Jayna leaned forward slightly as her Master spoke about strengthening weaknesses, filling gaps and, most interestingly, finding things neither of her parents had taught her. That sounded like exactly what she'd hoped having a Master would mean.

Then Iandre immediately found one of those gaps. "Do you know telepathy?"

Jayna merely shook her head. "No. Not like that." She listened to the distinction Iandre made between the sensing Jayna already knew and deliberately sending words, images or impressions through the Force. "It never really came up."

Her lips twitched. "I've been a little sheltered sometimes, I guess." Jayna giggled. "Having your parents as your teachers does that. I was usually training with one of them, so..." She shrugged. "If Dad wanted me to move left, he could just tell me to move left. Mom didn't exactly need to put the word duck into my head when she could say it."

She laughed again. "I guess communicating without words wasn't something we needed." The more intrusive possibilities received a much more thoughtful response. "And I'd rather learn the difference before I accidentally do something I shouldn't." That fit rather neatly with everything Jayna had just said about power and responsibility. Being able to reach inside someone's thoughts didn't necessarily mean she had the right to do it.

Then Iandre compared her to Obi-Wan Kenobi. Jayna's entire face lit up. "Really?" There was no hiding how much she liked that comparison. "Obi-Wan Kenobi?" She sat a little straighter, grin spreading across her face. Of all the Jedi in history Iandre could have mentioned, being told that something in Jayna's developing philosophy reminded her of him was definitely going to remain with her.

She did consider the qualification, though. "I suppose the Jedi were different then." Jayna's expression became thoughtful. "The Order was their whole life, wasn't it? They were raised in it. They lived in the Temple. Their teachers were Jedi, their friends were mostly Jedi..." She paused. "Being a Jedi wasn't something they decided to add to who they already were. It was how they learned who they were in the first place."

Jayna couldn't really criticize Obi-Wan for not separating Obi-Wan the person from Obi-Wan the Jedi when perhaps nobody had ever taught him there was supposed to be a separation. "If the Order had raised me instead of Mom and Dad, I'd probably think differently too." She considered that possibility. "If Jedi I'd never met came and took me when I was little, and then unbiased teachers taught me everything from the beginning..." Her shoulders lifted slightly. "Maybe I wouldn't care as much about making sure I'm Jayna first. I might just think being Jayna and being a Jedi were the same thing." That wasn't necessarily bad. Just different.

"But I had Mom and Dad. I had family before I had an Order. And they didn't even teach me exactly the same way." A little smile appeared. "So I guess I learned pretty early that there isn't only one way to do this."

She looked particularly pleased when Iandre returned to the future she'd described and explicitly left room for all of it. Friends. Adventures. An identity outside the Jedi. And, yes, eventually someone special. "I like that." She meant more than the permission. "I don't want Jayna and Jedi Jayna fighting over which one gets to exist."

There was a little amusement in her eyes as she added, "Although if they do fight, Jedi Jayna obviously has the lightsabers, so that's unfair." Another giggle escaped before she settled. "But really...that's what I want."

The conversation had begun with Jayna wondering what came next. Now, for the first time, she felt like they had an actual answer. They weren't going to discard what Jax and Jairdain had taught her. They weren't going to squeeze her into some predetermined idea of what a Padawan should already know. Iandre would take what was there, strengthen it, add things Jayna had never encountered and help her discover how all those pieces belonged together.

Jayna was visibly excited by the prospect. "So we keep working on Makashi. We make the things I'm already learning stronger. We work on the things I'm not very good at yet." Her smile widened. "And then we start finding things I don't know at all." She tilted her head. "Like telepathy." A brief pause followed before her smile became almost mischievous. "I think that's a pretty good plan, Master."

 

[Iandre Athlea]

Iandre couldn't quite suppress her smile at the distinction Jayna made regarding Makashi. "More mature." She considered it with appropriately grave seriousness. "I'll accept that. Although I should warn you that Makashi may eventually insist that the Form of Jayna stop jumping at people quite so often." Not entirely, of course. Ian had no intention of training the Ataru out of her Padawan when Jayna so clearly enjoyed it. The point was to give her another answer when launching herself through the air wasn't the best one available.

Jayna's thoughts about the old Order drew a more contemplative expression from her. There was truth in what she said, enough that Ian found herself considering her own childhood through the distinction Jayna had made. "For many of us, yes. I don't remember becoming a Jedi as a decision I made. I was raised in the Order. The Temple was my home, Jedi were my family, and becoming a Padawan was simply what came next." At fourteen, Ian wouldn't have thought there was anything missing from that. Even now, she didn't look back upon it as some terrible deprivation. She had been loved, educated, given purpose, and eventually entrusted to Aisha. "I don't think I would have understood the distinction you're making at your age. Iandre and Jedi Padawan Athlea were the same person because I'd never really had a reason to imagine one without the other."

Nine centuries had certainly provided one.

Her smile returned when Jayna decided that a hypothetical conflict between her two identities would be unfair because only one possessed lightsabers. "Then we'd better make certain it never comes to that. I'm not mediating a dispute between two Jaynas when one of them is armed." The humor faded naturally into something warmer. "But I think you've understood what I meant. Being a Jedi should inform who you become. It shouldn't require everything else about you to disappear." Ian had taken considerably longer to understand that herself than she intended Jayna to.

What pleased her most, however, was the excitement steadily building as Jayna repeated their plan back to her. This conversation had begun because Ian hadn't wanted to decide what came next without knowing what her Padawan already possessed and where she hoped all of it would eventually lead. Now they had both. There would be adjustments along the way, undoubtedly, and Jayna's interests at fourteen weren't required to remain unchanged forever. They didn't need a finished map. They finally had a direction.

"That sounds remarkably similar to the plan I had in mind." Ian took another sip of her caf, watching that mischievous smile appear when Jayna returned to telepathy. Apparently she'd chosen the first unexplored direction for them already. Ian saw no reason to discourage her.

"So, Padawan Ismet-Thio..." Her own smile acquired a hint of challenge. "When do you want to start?"

Jayna Ismet-Thio

 

[Jayna Ismet-Thio]

Objective: Check in/Make plans?
Location: Veradune
Outfit: Casual Clothes
Tags: Iandre Athlea

Jayna's smile turned immediately suspicious at the warning that Makashi might eventually object to her habit of jumping at people. "Quite so often," she repeated carefully. That distinction was important. "So I'm still allowed to jump at people. I just have to learn when not to jump at people." Her expression brightened. "I can live with that."

There was humor in the answer, but Jayna understood the lesson underneath it. Ataru had become comfortable precisely because it suited her instincts. Fast, aggressive movement came naturally. The problem was that something being natural didn't make it the correct answer every time. Her father had exposed her to enough different forms for Jayna to understand that much, even if she'd promptly decided she'd rather spend most of her time flying through the air. Makashi wasn't replacing that. It was giving her another answer.

Jayna grew quieter as Iandre described what it had been like growing up within the old Jedi Order. There was something fascinating about hearing history from someone who hadn't merely studied it. When Iandre spoke about the Temple as her home and the Jedi as her family, Jayna tried to imagine what that would have been like. It wasn't necessarily worse than her childhood. Just very different.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with that," Jayna said after considering it. "If the Jedi were your family, then being a Jedi was part of being Iandre." Her brow furrowed slightly. "Mom and Dad taught me about the Force because they're my parents. Your teachers taught you about the Force because they were Jedi. But if the Jedi were also the people raising you..." She tilted her head. "Then maybe those aren't actually as different as they sound." That conclusion seemed to please her.

"I guess I just got to see the separation earlier." Jax could be her father without being her Jedi instructor every moment of every day. Jairdain definitely was her mother first, even when she was teaching Jayna to reach into the Force. There had always been something outside the lessons. "And I've had two people showing me things differently my whole life," she added. "Sometimes really differently." There was an affectionate little smile attached to that understatement. "So I learned pretty early that two Jedi can disagree about how something should be done without one of them having to be wrong." Perhaps that was why Iandre's approach appealed to her so easily. Jayna had never expected her new Master to simply replace everything her parents had taught her with the single correct Jedi answer. As far as Jayna could tell, no such answer existed.

The prospect of Iandre mediating a dispute between two versions of Jayna earned another giggle. "You'd have to be fair." She paused. "Although regular Jayna should probably get Sen'kara. Otherwise Jedi Jayna having both lightsabers is just showing off." Problem solved.

More seriously, Jayna nodded when Iandre explained that being a Jedi should inform who she became without swallowing everything else. That felt right. The Force was part of Jayna. Her lightsabers were part of Jayna. Her responsibility to use both well was part of Jayna. So were her parents. Her friends. Veradune. The things she enjoyed for no reason other than enjoying them.

And, apparently, confusing feelings about a particular Rishii boy. None needed to erase the others. Then came the question. When do you want to start?

Jayna stared at Iandre. Her gold-brown eyes widened with an enthusiasm that made the answer obvious well before she spoke. "Now." A beat passed. Jayna glanced at the remains of lunch between them. Then toward the communal hall around them. Then back at Iandre. "...Unless you're going to tell me that learning telepathy in the middle of lunch is another example of the Form of Jayna jumping at something too quickly." Her lips twitched. "Because I feel like that would be unfair."

She sat forward anyway, almost vibrating with curiosity. "How does it work? I know what another person's presence can feel like in the Force. Sometimes emotions too, especially when they're strong. And I know what your emotions felt like when you showed me before."

Her cheeks gained the faintest hint of color at the reminder of precisely which emotions Iandre had shared, but Jayna pushed onward. "But that wasn't words. You weren't telling me something exactly. You were letting me feel something that was already there." Jayna tapped a finger lightly against the table as she worked through the distinction.

"So if I wanted to actually say something to you through the Force, do I think the words and push them toward you? Or am I supposed to think about what the words mean and let you turn that back into words?" Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "And how do I make sure I'm sending it only to you?"

There it was again: youthful eagerness racing forward while fourteen years spent around Force-users supplied enough experience to notice that the exciting new ability probably had rules. "Because accidentally telling everyone in the room what I'm thinking sounds like a really terrible first telepathy lesson." Jayna abruptly froze. A look of horror crossed her face.

"Wait." After everything they'd discussed over lunch, there was suddenly a much more urgent concern. "You can't just hear what I'm thinking already, can you?" She pointed accusingly at Iandre. "Because if you've been able to do that this entire time, the Viari conversation was definitely interrogation."

 

[Iandre Athlea]

The accusation caught Iandre completely off guard. For a moment, she simply stared back at the finger pointed across the table before laughter escaped her. "No." She shook her head emphatically, still smiling. "I cannot simply hear everything you're thinking, and I have not been quietly listening to your thoughts throughout lunch. Your dignity concerning Viari remains intact." Mostly, anyway. Jayna had volunteered quite a lot without any assistance from the Force.

Ian settled back, amusement lingering as she considered how best to explain the distinction. "You're grouping several related abilities together, which is understandable. What you already know is the beginning of it. You can sense another presence through the Force. With enough sensitivity, you can sometimes perceive strong emotions or intentions without deliberately entering that person's mind. That's closer to awareness or empathy than reading thoughts." It was the same reason a Jedi might sense fear in a frightened crowd or hostility from someone preparing to attack. Neither required knowing the actual thoughts producing those feelings.

"Telepathy is more deliberate." Ian tapped one finger lightly against the table. "If I want to send you a word, an image, or an impression, I reach toward the presence I recognize as yours and offer it to you through the Force. You aren't translating some abstract meaning back into Basic unless that's what I deliberately send. If I send the word duck, you'll perceive duck. If I send you an image of yourself ducking instead, you'll receive the image. I could even send urgency along with either one."

Jayna's question about directing it only toward her earned an approving nod. "That's where recognizing someone's presence becomes useful. Think of it less as shouting into a room and more like addressing one person in a conversation. You know what I feel like in the Force. You find me, establish that connection, and direct what you want to communicate toward me." Broadcasting was possible, but Ian saw no reason to complicate Jayna's first attempt with techniques meant for reaching groups. "So no, everyone in the communal hall isn't about to discover what you're thinking because your first attempt goes slightly wrong."

Her expression became more serious when she moved to the last distinction. "Actually searching another person's thoughts is different. That's a psychic intrusion. Instead of offering something across the connection, you're reaching through it and trying to retrieve something from the other person's mind. Memories, thoughts, information they haven't chosen to share." Ian paused. "There are circumstances where a Jedi might have a very good reason to do that, but having the ability doesn't automatically give us the right. That's why I want you to understand the difference before we explore anything more invasive."

Then her smile returned. "And apparently we're beginning now, because telling you to wait until after lunch would be an unforgivable attack on the Form of Jayna."

Ian shifted slightly in her chair and set her caf aside. "Don't try to push into my mind. You don't need to. Find my presence the same way you would if you were sensing me during training. Once you're certain you've found me, choose one word. Something simple." She deliberately relaxed her presence in the Force rather than shielding it, giving Jayna an easy point to recognize without reaching toward her in return.

"Hold the word clearly in your mind, then direct it toward me. Think of handing it to me rather than throwing it at me." A hint of amusement returned. "Makashi rules apply. Finesse before enthusiasm."

Ian waited, watching her Padawan across the remains of their lunch. "Whenever you're ready."

Jayna Ismet-Thio