So, I've been on this board for a few months now, and as I see people who have put several years of work into their characters, I must admit, I'm impressed. It makes me wish I'd gotten into RP much earlier than I did, and it humbles me.
When I first wrote Nyx, it was in a Star Wars fanfiction several years ago. I spent two years on that story, and it became my life. I fell in love with this fictional character I had created, one who I had complete control over, and yet I had none at all. Her story began to write itself, and as it progressed, I explored different aspects of her. I explored her fears, her weaknesses, her strengths. She never became what I would define as OP; for me, one of the best parts about writing a character is making them flawed. Despite all that I wrote during that two years, I kept coming back to Nyx's story, and continuing it, because of her flaws. She wasn't perfect, and that's why I love her to this day.
At the end of those two years, I stepped back and looked at what I had written. What I had was a full-length novel detailing a character's life from her birth to her death; twenty-three years worth of someone's life I made up on a whim. I put that much work into something fictional, and it blew my mind. When it was over, I almost felt like crying, and it took me awhile to figure out why. It was because I had finished with something I never wanted to finish, something that I wanted to continue, but knew that it if I did, I might as well spit in Nyx's face. Her story was done, she was dead at the end of the Jedi Grandmaster's lightsaber, and that was were she belonged.
Then I discovered RP, and I had an idea. At first, I tried other characters, from other works, but in the back of my head, I kept coming back to her. I felt terrible for bringing her back. It felt disrespectful to what she had done, what she had accomplished. Every time I wrote her, I felt a twinge of guilt; then I realized something. This wasn't my Nyx.
My Nyx died two years ago, and lies in peace in my hard drive. This Nyx was a new incarnation, the same and yet totally different. This time, her story would be different. This time, I wasn't in charge of her story, other people were, and I love it. I am exploring her character in ways that my crappy fan fiction could never do. I love my old Nyx, and that will never change; but now, the new Nyx is even more developed, and I love her just as much, if not more, and I am okay with that.