Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Letters to My Son

My Darling Detritus Ren Detritus Ren ,

As usual, I have to hear it oracled from the spirit world that you are either about to date again, or are already dating by now. Always the Mother is the last to know what her son is up to.

Do not hesitate to send me your future unpaid Psychiatrist Bill, when your new significant other looks at you across the table at a romantic restaurant during the perfect 12,974th date, and instead of flinging herself into your arms as you anticipate, begins bawling uncontrollably at you that you "never took me home to meet meet your mother!" Because we both know that you won't.

How is it always MY FAULT that you are so ashamed of me?! I need one virgin for a volcano ceremony! Can I help it that out of all the first dozen suitors during your intergalactic exchange school days, none were pure? I know I'm not perfect, but I am still your Mother. I don't think I ask for much...



Sprinkle Artificial Tears Here

From, MOM
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Pom Stych Tivé

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Dearest Detritus Ren Detritus Ren ,


What's a Holonet? I am just sitting down at some terminal in the Empire and thought it's time I write you a letter. Who are all these other people leaving me smilies? Are they your friends, Dear?

By the way, did you receive that cream for your Eczema? You just dab it right on your tuckus where you need it and let it air dry. It should be gone in a week or two. But stick with it, or it will spread everywhere! Remember last time?


Best Regards,
Mother of the Wanica Coven
 

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