Journal Entry #9

It's been a long time since I last delved into the Comport like this, but I have nothing but time at the moment as I'm on Midvinter visiting Master Heavenshield and his Family. I came here seeking Thurion's wisdom, his guidance and indeed I found it, though it was not what I expected. What he has taught me will stay with me for all of my future days, something that I cannot even begin to repay for what value it holds to me.

Time will hopefully aid me in quietening my discontent, but my concerns are not minor. Between Master Quell and Master Heavenshield, both have aided me in getting this far and I am grateful, yet my path feels to have only just begun and I am not certain it is the same path that I started down some years ago. There have been several in my life, unexpected diversions. This is, of course, a natural thing, change is inevitable yet these times held significant consequences and while unavoidable, followed with regrets that I've carried with me since.

Were I of this mind some years back, I would have remained on Svivren. Perhaps I would have asked for Kyra to be reassigned there instead of leaving the Outer Planets Alliance and returning to Kashyyyk. It is a hard image to picture for the Order of the Silver Jedi are a family to me much like my own, yet in the Outer Rim, you hear and see far less hypocrisy and resentment from those that have allegedly dedicated themselves to service and stewardship of others. It breaks my heart to see the Jedi in the state they are today.

Veiere used to speak of a time where the Jedi were unified in purpose, not of one Order or Organization yet still of one mind and goal despite the differences that separated them. This is not the case today, what remains of the active branches of the Jedi are too swept up within Galactic Politics and those of their own accord to see the darkness they are feeding. I struggle to see the same sense of respect and companionship shared between these various branches of the Jedi that my Father once spoke with such admiration for. Where our differences make us assets across such a diverse Galaxy, they are instead treated with resentment, a dereliction of service and as though compromise and virtues of respect no longer hold a place in our duty to one another; And yet it is we who fight to see peace in our Galaxy, while we simultaneously enable derision throughout those who vow to serve and defend Galactic Society.

I have always tried to remain optimistic, yet it has been ever challenging over the last six months. These are things that I have not yet voiced to those I have sought counsel from, for it is a dangerous path to walk in doubt as I have been. I am a victim of a gentle heart, where I wish such things did not bother me so. As a Jedi, I should cloud my mind from such distractions but it is also out of care for this life and those who serve as we do, that I worry for the future of the Order. Not only the Silver Jedi but all Jedi. Where we come from, who we call ourselves, every man and woman from every sect, or branch of today, all call themselves by the same name and title. It is such a travesty that it is not that which we share that unites us, but the things that we don't that define the state we are in today. I cannot pretend to understand this or to remain ignorant of how this weakens our service to the Galactic Society we know today.

The Sith Empire, The Bryn'adul, The Eternal Empire and others who abuse their power and oppress others who cannot stand to protect themselves - These are allowed to prosper with every day wasted on the controversies between Jedi. We enable the Galaxies decline in our inability to walk the path alongside our brothers and sisters in the Force. What's worse is that many Conclaves have been called to seek to mend this problem, but it is always greed and self-interest that stands in the way of progress and unity among our people. How can the Jedi hope to help the Galaxy when they cannot help themselves.

Serving within the Order of the Silver Jedi has been going well, but I am often reminded that our reach can only extend so far. We have not the numbers to resolve every crisis or need in the Galaxy, and while I have been shifting the families financial assets and re-evaluating some of our business endeavours into more humanitarian focused works, it is still not enough.

It's never going to seem like it's enough.