Journal Entry: #7
Location: Home
Subject: Personal Reflection


I can't shake the thought that most of the people, the friends and the family that Lori and I had grown up with, are gone today. My father spoke the name House Arenais as though it wasn't just the few of us actually living under the same roof, but that it connected those closest and most loyal to us and the pursuit of civil rights back when the Commenor Systems Alliance was in place. It wasn't just a family to him, it came with a set of principles and ideals that were compatible the Jedi Path such as his, Democratic and Political role modeling such as Moms, or otherwise simple civilian living, someone willing to do a good deed for another.

Integrity, Justice, Guardianship, Stewardship and the Force.

These were values that I learned growing up under my Parents. My training with the Je'daii taught me many other great and valued skills, yet these principles remain at the head of my service under the Order of the Silver Jedi today, as well as the training of my own Padawan; A responsibility that carries great weight and purpose, yet is also not without hardship and leaving myself prone to reflect, to question and to seek to heighten my own learning for the sake of her safety and future service.

Since the devastation of Yurb, I've had plenty of spare time on my hands as Kyra recuperates and prepares herself now to gradually fall back into training and field work once again. I haven't thought of Yurb alone, but the path that has brought me this far with many twists and turns, none of which I had anticipated.

From the Je'daii to following Asaraa into Kashyyyk. My move to establish the Jedi Coalition within the Outer Rim Territories alongside the O.P.A and then only to be called back to Kashyyyk by the Assembly for the sake of meeting this troubled new student, someone I did not expect I would spend my foreseeable future guiding down the Jedi Path. Force knows that I had found myself lost many a time, and there I was being led by something greater to teach another the things that I myself often questioned.

The Galaxy has this concept of the Jedi, and it's the same for the Sith...-That we're invincible because of the power we are capable of wielding in battle, and over others should we desire it. What they don't see from the outside is that we're all the same, despite our sensitivity to the Force, we can die as quickly and as easily as anyone else. We train to keep our mind about us, to avoid mistakes but while we knowingly put ourselves in the face of dangerous situations, we are not expendable.

Every student that attends a class of ours, we teach with the expectation that they will eventually grow, to leave the temple and to serve in the greater Galaxy. They will uphold our values, our principles and defend the weak, they will likely kill for others and may very well be killed in the process. These are students who we face every day and must accept that every day in the life of a Jedi is one faced with great compromise.

As a Jedi Knight, it is expected of me to know and practice professionally. To always be mindful and to maintain a certain emotional distance in order to ensure my actions are not swayed by emotional influence were I to lose someone in the field of duty. This is an easy statement to make but the reality of living it is something else entirely when you come to take on an apprentice of your own, live alongside them every day and travel between worlds in service to society, battling the challenges and hurdles that rise and fall with every situation.

My father, Veiere Arenais lived this life and likely faced many if not all of the same challenges that I am currently faced with. He was raised within the Jedi Order from the age of five, trained on Svivren and later moved to join with the others in the Galactic Republic. At forty years of age he was dubbed a Jedi Master. He was killed just short of sixty years of age by the right hand of the Sith Emperor, the Lord of Lies....And for the longest time, as younglings growing up, he had Lori and me convinced in that ridiculous concept. The notion that Jedi were invincible.

Today, Veiere is gone and my Mom struggles to see reason or purpose in herself. Loreena is off fighting a rebellion against the Eternal Empire while I have been serving much closer to the Core. Even Asaraa and I see each other so rarely. The Galaxy is ever changing and we have all grown up during the rise and fall of some large and powerful democratic nations that are no more, today. It begs the question in what will come tomorrow, or tomorrow's tomorrow. The Jedi in me knows that as long as our actions are guided by our training and the greater good of others, that regardless of change we will serve honorably; however the Invasion of Yurb will not be the last battlefield that Kyra and I will walk into and it's not my actions alone that have me concerned.