The Video Game Remakes all gather for an evening of celebration at the Triple A Club:
Dead Space Remake (Pictured Left) and RE2 Remake (Pictured Right) walk up to the Card table to troll the Remakes there:
RE2 Remake: Well, lookee heer. A Right bunch a classics all gathered at the same table. Quake 2 Remaster, huh? I heard 'a you...
RE3 Remake: Listen, Mister Fancy Remaster, Boomer Shooters don't go around here, savvy?
Quake 2 Remaster: I'm Retired.
RE3 Remake: Good. That's real good, because the Triple AAA Market don't need to be reminded of the last time an FPS was fun. Cause Boomer Shooters don't go around here.
Quake 2 Remaster: I heard you the first time (Checks positive reviews)
Quake 2 Remaster: A Director's Cut won't save you.
RE2 Remake: Shut up, RE3 Remake
Dead Space Remake (Steps up): And you must be System Shock Remake
System Shock Remake: That's the rumor
Dead Space Remake: You retired too?
System Shock Remake: Not me, sir, I'm on PC
Dead Space Remake: Yeah, you look it
System Shock Remake: And you must be the latest System Shock 2 Plot Clone. Look, Darling, it's the Dead Space Remake. The most desperate attempt to prove EA is still capable of making money since Jedi Survivor. What do you think, Darling, should I hate him?
"Darling": Y-y-you d-d-on't eVvvvvveN kNOw hIM.
System Shock Remake: Yes but there's just something about him. Something around the eyes, like all the mechanics lifted from the original Resident Evil 4, including the third person camera view. And all the pretty skins hidden behind a DLC paywall. No, I'm sure of it. I hate him.
Quake 2 Remaster: He's just salty over the middling scores he got from IGN
System Shock Remake: In salt there is truth.
Dead Space Remake: Bruh, you're so complicated people gotta keep actual notes about your codes and directions.
System Shock Remake: You are the product of a company that added Microtransactions and multiplayer to a game that didn't need it, to the point all of the really cool stuff is DLC. I, however, befitting my station as a remake of leisure, am a complete experience.
Dead Space Remake: There's no streamlining. Your core mechanics punish the smallest mistake.
System Shock Remake: Only because I am one of the most faithful remakes ever
Dead Space Remake: But you don't have a PS5 port yet and I'm more accessible. You probably won't have a PS5 port for months
Hitman Reboot Trilogy: C'mon boys, we know you'll both be selling on Amazon used at a thirty dollar discount someday.
System Shock Remake: This Marker Afflicted seems to be an educated sort. Now I really hate him.
FINIS
Dead Space Remake (Pictured Left) and RE2 Remake (Pictured Right) walk up to the Card table to troll the Remakes there:
RE2 Remake: Well, lookee heer. A Right bunch a classics all gathered at the same table. Quake 2 Remaster, huh? I heard 'a you...
RE3 Remake: Listen, Mister Fancy Remaster, Boomer Shooters don't go around here, savvy?
Quake 2 Remaster: I'm Retired.
RE3 Remake: Good. That's real good, because the Triple AAA Market don't need to be reminded of the last time an FPS was fun. Cause Boomer Shooters don't go around here.
Quake 2 Remaster: I heard you the first time (Checks positive reviews)
Quake 2 Remaster: A Director's Cut won't save you.
RE2 Remake: Shut up, RE3 Remake
Dead Space Remake (Steps up): And you must be System Shock Remake
System Shock Remake: That's the rumor
Dead Space Remake: You retired too?
System Shock Remake: Not me, sir, I'm on PC
Dead Space Remake: Yeah, you look it
System Shock Remake: And you must be the latest System Shock 2 Plot Clone. Look, Darling, it's the Dead Space Remake. The most desperate attempt to prove EA is still capable of making money since Jedi Survivor. What do you think, Darling, should I hate him?
"Darling": Y-y-you d-d-on't eVvvvvveN kNOw hIM.
System Shock Remake: Yes but there's just something about him. Something around the eyes, like all the mechanics lifted from the original Resident Evil 4, including the third person camera view. And all the pretty skins hidden behind a DLC paywall. No, I'm sure of it. I hate him.
Quake 2 Remaster: He's just salty over the middling scores he got from IGN
System Shock Remake: In salt there is truth.
Dead Space Remake: Bruh, you're so complicated people gotta keep actual notes about your codes and directions.
System Shock Remake: You are the product of a company that added Microtransactions and multiplayer to a game that didn't need it, to the point all of the really cool stuff is DLC. I, however, befitting my station as a remake of leisure, am a complete experience.
Dead Space Remake: There's no streamlining. Your core mechanics punish the smallest mistake.
System Shock Remake: Only because I am one of the most faithful remakes ever
Dead Space Remake: But you don't have a PS5 port yet and I'm more accessible. You probably won't have a PS5 port for months
Hitman Reboot Trilogy: C'mon boys, we know you'll both be selling on Amazon used at a thirty dollar discount someday.
System Shock Remake: This Marker Afflicted seems to be an educated sort. Now I really hate him.
FINIS
