Auteme blinked and took a second look at the screen.


It didn't lessen her confusion, of course, but it was worth a shot.

traa.net was a terrible, terrible sight. Not that was in of itself aesthetically displeasing; the clean white minimalism and formatting made accessing the episodes extraordinarily easy. The dark patterns led the user to the first episode as soon as possible. Attempts to click away soon led to the online store that had a startling variety of merchandise. Very high quality, of course.

But it was none of those things that confounded her so. No, it was the site's very existence -- the 'small' forum was filled with a show called "Totally Real Adventures of Auteme", which was a complete falsehood and wildly defamatory. Auteme had never even heard of it until today. There were no ads and no clear financial backing. How could one possibly fund such a show and HoloNet forum? And who would do it just to make a show of her?

After about ten minutes she overcame her fear and hit play. The first episode was abysmal. It had poor writing, synthesized voice acting, frankly terrible music, and there was not a single moment of hesitation before she hit the 'play next' button.

Somehow she was curious about her own depiction in a terrible holoseries, riveted by its very existence.

A selection of quotes during from Auteme while watching the first season:

"OhmygoshIwouldneverdothat-" (Auteme witnessed something she would never do be depicted on screen.)

"What?" (Unknown.)

"I've never said anything like that in my life." ("Kark around and find out bish.")

"Is that- oh. My. Gosh. Adrian. It's- oh my gosh." (It was in this moment that Auteme was the closest she'd ever been to committing an act of violence.)

"What?" (Unknown.)

"Did they just- is that a Twi'lek?" (Auteme is not a Twi'lek. TRAA has disputed this on multiple occasions.)

"Well, that doesn't make sense." (x112.)

"I'm kind of hot as a dude." (No comment.)

"That is NOT what I decided. This guy..." (Holiday special, S1E42.)

A day of totally real adventures later, Auteme lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling and wondering what she was doing with her life. And yet that almost morbid curiosity resurfaced. She got up, went to her desk, and pulled up the site again. Though the next episode was enticing as a juicy burger (Auteme was vegetarian) she instead tapped on the 'discussion' sidebar of the forum and started to scroll.

ryveted [1w ago]

im-a-virous [4h ago]
Oh wow, I didn't think I'd like this show as much as I am!

count-to-dooku [2d ago]
Wholly unrepresentative of the real Auteme. ugh.

pay-ya-tithe [6h ago]
Can I fund more of this?

tavlar-rasa [1d ago]
ill rate smping for auteme as acceptable tbh

locke-n-loded [3d ago]
im a simp

im-loske-and-need-help [1d ago]
aerarii is the one

strode-into-the-sun [2d ago]
i need to work out more

avernus-og-richman [1d ago]
adrian is a fcking god

hansy-renegade [1h ago]
brb making auteme memes

fake and lame

She closed her holodevice. Enough of that for one night.