"You're My Only Hope."

[Via Dolorosa]

A Month Prior To Returning To The Jedi​

To sever the tendrils of loneliness since the disappearance of her best mate, Kieran "Tag" Merrik, and to focus her mind on something else she had decided to go crystal hunting. Her lightsaber required a much needed upgrade. The original crystal had served it's purpose but now she wanted something unique for her only friend now. She had settled on two crystals, the Damind crystal and the Kenobi's Legacy crystal, the former being the easiest to find; and now in her possession. It was the latter that would be difficult to obtain, recalling her studies when she was a Jedi.

Since she had no allegiance to any Order, Jedi or Sith or Independent, her research was limited. Sorely. Luckily, she had made contacts over the past year or so and elected to try them first. The first four proved to be dead ends but the fifth had shown promise. Tarlik, a well-known collector of artifacts, had told her about one of his clients who had somehow discovered the whereabouts of the legendary crystal known as Kenobi's Legacy. The client had paid for it, handsomely, only to lose it and his life to a bounty hunter who called himself T-90.

Tarlik explained to her that this scum was known to frequent Onderon, taking odd jobs right under the noses of the Republic. He also warned her that he was dangerous and highly unpredictable and that she should just squash any notions of seeking him out. Of course, seeking him out was exactly what she planned to do. With reluctance, Tarlik brought up a holofeed of T-90 showing him killing his client. She now had an image to put to the name.

The shuttle ride to Onderon was not as pleasant and comfortable as the travel agency had claimed. But you get what you pay for. Now that she was here, the bounty hunter wasn't her only concern. The Jedi were here and she wanted to avoid them at all costs.

 

[Via Dolorosa]

The first four hours on the planet she had been quite busy. Upon arriving, she first checked into a low-income hotel. She paid for a room that she could use up to 6 days but planned on staying shorter if she managed to get the crystal in a shorter time frame. The clerk had asked to see some I.D. and not wanting her real name on the registry, she Force persuaded him to write down a false name; and persuaded the clerk that he didn't need to see any identification from her. She checked out the room, closing the automatic blinds to prevent anyone from seeing in even though her room sat on the fifth floor. She thought about taking a quick nap but opted against it.

With her room secure, she began walking through the various districts familiarizing herself with the layout. She believed that this T-90 joker wasn't going to simply hand over the crystal and she wasn't about to buy it from him. Her stomach twisted at the thought that she was actually planning on killing the bounty hunter but from what she knew of their profession, she was doing the galaxy a favour. As she traversed through the streets she took mental notes on the different cantinas that dotted the various districts. From her investigation she deduced that only three of those establishments would make excellent haunts for a bounty hunter.

Before moving into the investigation aspect of her journey, she also took in the locations of Republic check pointes and the housing unit for Republic soldiers. She still hadn't seen any signs of the Jedi but that didn't mean they weren't lurking about somewhere. Even though she didn't complete her training with that lot, or the Sith or the Primevalfor that matter, she knew very well that the Force had various abilities to mask one's presence. Unfortunately for her, she didn't possess that knowledge. So she would need to be observant and over cautious while not attracting unwanted attention to herself.

Cantina #1​

​

The name above the entrance pretty much summed up what she would expect to find in there. The Vagrant Abode. She stepped inside and took a seat at one of the empty, dirty and chipped tables that was positioned close to the bar. She looked around the cantina and failed to recognize her target. Perhaps he hadn't arrived yet or this was not his watering hole. So she decided to wait it out. Trying to fit in, she walked up to the bar and ordered herself a drink. While the barkeep was tending to working his magick, she considered asking him if he knew this T-90 joker. Afterall, barkeeps knew everything. In the end, she thought better of asking for now.

She paid for her drink and returned to her table. A couple of hours had passed and not wanting to rouse suspicion from the other patrons since she was still nursing her first drink, while the others where already passed the sauced stage, she sighed and rose to her feet and motioned for the barkeep.

"I'm looking for an old friend of mine," CJ began. "We were suppose to meet at one the cantinas here but poor transmission robbed me of it's name. Perhaps you may know if he comes here. His name is and please don't laugh is T-90."

CJ described the man in great detail and when she finished, the barkeep told her no man by that name fitting her description ever comes in here. She thanked the barkeep and left him a small tip. She returned to her hotel room, checking off one cantina. Hopefully tomorrow would birth better results.

 

[Via Dolorosa]

She stared out her hotel window watching the citizens going about their daily lives. She found that she was jealous as she watch them that slowly began to transform into anger. How dare these people have such lavish lives, free of the restraints of being different. How dare they go about their lives as if the galaxy was not just in turmoil, especially after that nasty Netherworld event. Did they not care that so many lives had been lost by their precious Republic military to allow them to walk around and flaunt their attitudes, flooding the city with their egos and materialistic nick-knacks!

CJ could almost hate these people! But hate was the fuel she kept in reserve to call upon when she needed an extra boost. Oddly, she didn't feel much hate at all these days. There was something tugging at her mind, a feeling or emotion, that she could simply not place. And worse yet, she had nobody to discuss this growing issue inside her with. She had left the Primeval. Not on bad terms, of course, but it was time for her to move on. She still was searching for that illusive golden ticket that would grant her access to a purpose in this galaxy.

She shut the blinds and exited her room.

Cantina #2​

​

The first thing to jump out and slap her about this place was the smell. Her left hand moved over her nose to act as some sort of protective gear against the offending ordours. If someone had asked her to describe the smell, her response would have been something along the lines of something rotting in the belly of a sarlacc. She thought about just leaving in hopes this was the wrong place but that crystal meant to much to her. She would find a way to endure the horrors.

Her eyes darted at the state of the tables and decided that standing seemed to be the safer route. No telling what some of those fluids were or came from. As she moved toward the bar, she sensed she was being watched. A quick scan of the area alerted her to the fact she was the only clean looking person in here. Some of the females appeared to have seen better days. Her approach finally concluded at the bar where a heated debate began to erupt to the right of her. She ignored it the best she could as she motioned for the bartender just as he was placing a meaty hand on a blaster rifle under the bar. Apparently the debate had drawn his attention.

"Excuse me," CJ began but was rudely cut-off by the bartender.

"What do you want girl," he growled. She thought it would be best for her stomach not to partake in anything being served here.

"Information," she replied holding up her left hand to halt his protest. "I can pay for it."

The bartender, sporting bloodshot eyes and a severely crooked nose, eyed her up and down before he answered, "Hmm! Make it quick!"

Using small words for this brute to understand, she inquired about the bounty hunter and any information he may have on his whereabouts. He scowled at her then shook his head.

"Can't help you! Know him. Barred him. Now do you have anything else you like to purchase? If not, get out!"

She returned a scowl of her own as her mind lobbied for teaching him a lesson. But common sense flew in for the rescue. She turned to leave and as she was reaching the exit, a small pocket faced man whistled her over to his table. He looked around the cantina as if he was concerned about being watched. Paranoia.

"100 credits and I can help you."

CJ eyed him hard. However, 100 credits was nothing compared to the value of the crystal. She forked over the creds and the man nearly took her hand off as his filthy paw snatched them up.

"He is off planet but returns early in the morning. I don't care why you want him, none of my business, but he is a bad man." He produced his other hand to show her he was missing all his fingers. "Karking jerk cheated me in sabacc! When I complained he did this. Bad man! Newries. You want to go to Newries. He has some dame he likes to frequent there. Twi'lek. Goes by Cinny! Blah! Each is their own. 9 or 10 at night he shows up owning the place."

He looked at the credits in his hand and smiled. He dropped fifty on the table followed it with a nod of his head. "Only one reason you want him. Grrr. None of my business. Take those credits back and make him pay for what he done to my hand!"

Without hesitation, she pocketed the credits and left. She now had a destination and time where to find T-90. As an added bonus, she also had the name and species of his, well, whatever she was to him.

 

[Via Dolorosa]

Her morning started out quite efficient. She gotten up early and headed down to the spaceport to check out who she was actually dealing with. Between the stories Tarlik told her and from the appearance of the man's hand, she was judging this character to be almost a handful. She wanted to get as much intel as possible before confronting the man, which no doubt would end up fatal for him.

As she walked toward her destination, the spaceport off into the distance, she began to wonder if this was foolishness on her part. She had never been a greedy person in her life and yet her she was planning to kill this man over a crystal. Granted this T-90 was a bad man and yes he did kill someone to obtain the crystal himself but she was better than him morally. Wasn't she? Afterall she still had time to abandon this little project and seek out the crystal from other sources. However, she had already exhausted her options early on and this was the only opportunity she may ever have.

The spaceport was, as she predicted, ripe with busyness. Ships took off and ships landed. The port authorities seemed to have their work cut out for them today. Which boded well for her. She could now easily move about, nearly unnoticeable, to spy on T-90. Unfortunately, she had no idea what his ship looked like or even what class it was. She only had his image burned into her mind.

After walking for nearly an hour, she stumbled upon her target. He just paid his docking fee and was entering the main hub of Onderon. She slipped in behind him, keeping her distance, and followed him through his routine. He had stopped at a few kiosks, purchasing little, before moving on to a small outside cafe. She sat on a bench next to a water fountain display and watched him eat his breakfast. When he got up to leave, she continued to stalk him.

At last he came to a small building on the western side of the city, apparently his home, and entered it. She thought maybe now would be a good time to confront him but she remembered the Twi'lek. If this bounty hunter "loved" her, then perhaps he would be willing to exchange the crystal for her life. Her stomach turned sour at what she was thinking. This was not who she was. But greed was whispering in her ear.

 

[Via Dolorosa]

Night had come to claim Onderon and with it, the chance for CJ to claim her crystal. Since her return to her rented quarters, she had mediatated the best she could. For some reason she had lost sight of meditating. But then again there were quite a few things she lost sight of recently. Although most could be blamed on her poor choices, not all fell on her shoulders. The loss of Tag was not on her. She tried to push the image of his face from her thoughts while quietly meditating but no matter how much she pushed, it pushed back.

Then if that wasn't enough to disturb her, her mind continued to play tricks on her. From deep within her memories of the day she had killed her Master kept coming to the forefront. Was it guilt? Probably! She had never forgiven herself for what she had done. It plagued and haunted her nearly everyday. So she did the only thing she could do, cope.

More troubled after her meditation trance than before, she gave up trying again and left her room. She didn't need these waning distractions getting in the way of her goal. Distractions were dangerous. T-90 was dangerous.

Cantina #3​

​

​

To call this establishment a cantina was an understatement. It resembled a brothel, a lust paradise for those who craved to give into lesser base needs. It disgusted her. To make matters more uncomfortable for her, a rather skinny looking middle-aged woman approached her; a gleam in her and a wet smile on her lips.

"You look like you need some relaxation," the woman commented allowing her eyes to gauge CJ. "We have so many available options for one as pretty as yourself."

Before the woman could go further into her banter, CJ raised her hand and replied, "I'm here for Cinny."

The woman clapped her hands in delight. "Ah yes. Cinny. One of our finest pieces of merchandise. You pretty girl are in luck. She is free. Well not technically free but the price for her is rather affordable. Normally it will cost 5000 credits but since you are a first time buyer I'll only charge you half price."

CJ had winced at the mention of the Twi'lek being referred to as 'merchandise.' And mentally winced again at the price this woman expected her to pay. CJ had no desire to 'buy' this Cinny's time. However, she was thrilled at the notion that she had arrived before T-90. Perhaps this T-90 would arrive to find his 'love' already occupied and come rushing in to chase out the client. It was a weak plan but even weak plans can work.

"I do not need to pay for Cinny," CJ whispered as she waved her right hand in front of the woman.

"You do not need to pay for Cinny," the woman replied.

"You will take me to her and leave afterwards."

"I will take you to here and leave afterwards."

CJ followed the woman upstairs and down a hall that twisted to the left. The woman stopped at the last door on the right, knocked twice, then opened it. "Enjoy."

CJ stepped into the room to see a beautiful looking blue-skinned Twi'lek standing near a table wearing just enough clothes to make one's imagination work overtime. Cinny rifled off an even more beautiful smile. For a moment CJ was captivated. The woman closed the door and left.

"Well, well, well. Look at you," Cinny said moving toward CJ. "I feel guilty that you had to pay for me. I believe you and I are going to have such a wonderful time together."

 

[Via Dolorosa]

An irritated laugh escaped CJ's lips when she realized this Twi'lek actually believed there were wonderful times ahead for the two of them. Though a part of CJ felt sorry for the girl. Here she was forced to live a life that involved satisfying the needs of others and probably would go through life never knowing what true love was. Then again, CJ would probably never know herself. Another thing she began to feel guilty about was how she planned to use this girl as a bargaining chip. Hadn't this girl experience enough trauma in her life? CJ was pretty sure this Twi'lek had not willingly chose to pursue this profession. There was no doubt in CJ's mind that this girl had been enslaved, then bought, and finally brought here. It pained CJ to see people treated this way. But it wasn't really her problem. Or was it?

"Sit down and remain quiet," CJ commanded waving her left hand out in front of her.

The Twi'lek turned and did what she was told. For a brief moment CJ toyed with the idea of interrogating this girl for information about T-90 then thought better of it. If the man at the other cantina was right, then T-90 would be coming here regardless. And she was right.

Loud and heavy footfalls trounced down the hall toward the room. CJ unclipped her lightsaber and held it firm in her hand; the blade emitter pointed at the Twi'lek. She could sense the fear in the girl and the girl was wise enough to remain quiet. The door busted open and in stepped T-90. He looked at CJ then at Cinny and then back to CJ.

"Bad move little girl," T-90 barked.

"Shut up. You have something I want. The crystal."

The most disturbing laugh she ever heard erupted from the throat of T-90. "And why little girl would I want to hand it over to you?"

CJ despised what she was going to say next. But that crystal was important to her. She not only needed it but she craved it. It was the final piece of the puzzle that would complete the plans for her lightsaber. And she was short on options to search for another.

"Because if you don't. I will kill her," CJ spat.

The Twi'lek, Cinny, screamed and then abruptly fell silent when CJ shot her a cold sideways glance.

"A lightsaber? You carry the weapon of the Jedi, little girl. I know for a fact that Jedi don't kill!"

"I'm no Jedi! The crystal. Now!"

T-90's eyes squinted at her and before she could react, he produced a small hold-out blaster and put a small hole in the head of Cinny. The Force screamed at her as she felt the lifeforce of Cinny snuff out.

"You're right. You are no Jedi because a Jedi would have prevented that from happening. And now you have nothing to barter with, little girl!"

CJ ignited her blade just in time to deflect a series of blaster shots. Only did she realize it to late that his attack was only a distraction. T-90 squared his shoulders and charged her. The collision sent both CJ and T-90 crashing out the window.

 

[Via Dolorosa]

CJ never believed in fate or luck. Luck more than fate, really. But it seemed luck had smiled down on her today. When they had crashed through the second story window, somehow by the graces of luck she landed on top of him, unharmed. As fate would have it, he didn't die in the fall but merely had the wind knocked from his lungs. Before she could react, T-90 managed to recover quickly, using his lower half and legs to kick her over his head causing her to land hard on her back. Both scrambled to their feet, two pairs of eyes scanning for their fallen weapons.

Spying her hilt a few feet from where they had landed, she used the Force to call it to her hand. The blade, with a snap-hiss, hummed to life in time for her to bat down two shots into the ground. She saw him reaching for another blaster attached on his hip and again used the Force and shoved him backwards into the building. T-90 groaned upon contact but continue a steady rate of fire. CJ had to end this quickly because those shots would definitely attract the attention of the authorities.

She was struggling to stop the shots from hitting her as she felt a few sharps of pain in different areas of her body roar to life. Acting quickly, she thrust out her right hand, fingers splayed, and unleashed a torrent of crackling blue and white energy toward the bounty hunter. T-90 saw it and rolled to his right and began to run down the dark, back alley. CJ huffed then gave chase.

As she was chasing after him, she realized two things. The first was that her outfit had become torn and tattered from the shards of broken glass. The second was that she was sporting several open wounds. She was unsure how serious but the river of blood that flowed down her left arm did not bode well. She cursed herself for skipping the class back at the Jedi Temple on Force Healing.

T-90, a marathon runner it seemed, had turned right and ducked into a small warehouse that appeared to be abandoned at first glance. A blaster shot rang out just when she stepped into the door way, forcing her to jump to one side of the opening. Fading footsteps signaled to her that T-90 was on the move; again.

 

[Via Dolorosa]

The warehouse had a moldy, dingy funk to it. How long had this building gone unoccupied? Plus the only illumination was what the moon of Dxun was offering up through broken windows and patches of missing brickwork. This was to her advantage since she had the Force to rely upon. Moving through the littered infested halls, she scanned the area a few feet in front of her. That was all she was able to do so far. She needed to work on that. The Force alerted her that he was in the next room, and she carefully stepped inside.

T-90 was slumped up against a turned over desk, his left hand over his stomach. He looked up at her as she entered and tried to raise his blaster but it fell to his side. He broke into the eerie laugh once more halting CJ in her tracks. He appeared to be wounded but he was still dangerous. She called his blaster to her hand, caught it, and tossed it out into the hallway.

"I loved her. I loved her," T-90 said failing at an attempt to shift his weight.

"If you loved her then why did you kill her?"

"Because you were going to take her away from me! I couldn't have that on my conscience."

CJ cringed at his words. It was her fault that Cinny was dead. Granted she didn't directly kill her but indirectly she was responsible. The revelation of what she had caused made her drop to her knees. All she cared about was that crystal. An object it seemed was more important to her than a living being. A tear rolled down her left cheek.

"I'm. I'm sorry."

"Sorry? That's all you have to say is sorry! You are a pathetic individual, little girl," he cursed loudly that led to a coughing fit. When he recovered he added, "Doesn't matter now. She's dead. I'm dying. And you have won nothing."

She saw his right hand fumble around inside a pouch on his right side and withdrew the crystal from it. They both stared at the blue and beautiful gem. Then he tossed it at her. She caught it, staring absent-minded into it.

"Was it worth it?"

Before she could reply, she felt him die through the Force. She remained in her kneeling position for some time before rising to her feet and examining his body. Where his left hand had been, now laying lifeless next to his body, was a gaping blaster shot wound. Somehow during the exchange she unknowingly redirected a shot back at him. She was directly responsible for his death. Oddly, she felt sadness overcome her. She had predetermined that this was how everything was going to play out. Yet as she stared at his corpse she felt grief.

 

[Via Dolorosa]

She sat in the warehouse for an hour or so before heading out. She could see flashing lights and loud voices coming from Newries. She opted out of going to one of the medcentres for fear of being asked questions regarding her wounds, so she began walking toward her hotel thinking about Cinny along the way. Several thoughts kept cropping out with ways she could have both saved Cinny and chosen a different plan; one that didn't involve the Twi'lek. What had she become?

Inside her hotel room, she cleaned the wounds, pulling shards of glass out, the best she could before settling on taking a shower. Her clothes were ruined and she needed to buy new ones but that was pretty low on her priority list. Once clean, she ordered some food through room service that she barely touched. Mostly she just rearranged the food around on the plate with her fork. She really had no appetite after tonight's events. Again her thoughts turned to Cinny. She had failed her, no, used her to satisfy her greed for the crystal. Her red eyes turned to look at the pouch that concealed the treasure. Paid for in the death of an innocent girl. She sighed.

"Forgive me, Cinny," CJ whispered in her empty room, save her. "I failed you. I should have never gotten you involved and worse, I could have saved you."

Then an image of her friend Tag appeared in her mind which caused her to shed tears. She had failed him to but his fate was still unknown to her. She searched for him relentlessly, never finding him and she began to suspect that he, too, was dead. Then as if her guilt wasn't done dragging her down far enough, she thought of her former Jedi Master, Ghu Logain. She not only failed him but killed him. Again the tears streamed down her cheeks. It began to occur to her that she had become something that scared her. She no longer knew who she was. Her life needed a serious overhaul or she would live the rest of her life in misery, solitude, and regret.

The next morning she woke up, meditated for some time to clear all her thoughts from the previous night. Today she was going to begin focusing the crystal so that it would be attuned to her. She had struggled in the beginning when she focused the Damind crystal but the results proved successful. Now it was time to reshape the blue crystal, Kenobi's Legacy, to herself.

 

[Via Dolorosa]

Concentration was the key component for successfully focusing a crystal, more so if the crystal was as rare as the one she was about to take on. To much energy poured into the crystal could crack it leaving it useless and obsolete. Most crystals were in abundance so even if one was ruined in the process, all one had to do was simply go get another. Which was usually the case when groups went out on crystal hunting outings. The rule was to take just what you needed in terms of amount but don't take what you will never use. Unfortunately for CJ she only had the one crystal.

With strict orders given to the hotel staff that she was not to be disturbed and to prevent any such occurrences she paid for her room for an additional three weeks with the agreement between both parties that if she left before her time was u that she would be refunded the difference, and then the blinds were pulled tightly shut; and she sat on the floor in the centre of the room. She took several breaths to calm herself then slowly closed her eyes.

Previously when she was a Jedi she had been taught to speak the Jedi Code over and over to centre herself until she fell into a meditation trance. Presently she could not recall the words of the Code and even if she did, she was no longer a Jedi. She hadn't been for some time. So with no code to recite she focused on the one thing that always gave her a sense of peace; solving complex problems. Over the course of her young life she had put to memory certain equations that she didn't have time to sort out for one reason or another. Now, she had the time.

Her memory began to replay some of them now and as she concentrated on solving each problem she felt a sense of peace wash over. She continued to do this for some time until she was absolutely sure her mind was free of interruptions. Carefully and slowly she held the crystal's energy in her own Force energy, scanning and observing every aspect of it.

Satisfied with the outcome, she began to push her Force energy, her own Force signature, and her soul into the blue crystal. She could 'see' the two energies swirling around one another, intertwining into one energy source. She could sense the vibrations and humming sounds from the crystal as her Force signature seeped inside. She could feel the crystal grow warm as her soul was being accepted.

Finally her eyes opened up and she stared at the...gray crystal. How was that possible? The crystal should have kept it's colour property after being focused. She sat there trying to figure out what went wrong. The crystal was attuned to her, she could sense that much. But why the change in colour?

Then she realized it.

The crystal was known to hold court with the Lightside of the Force. It could be used by anyone that was in touch with the Force but the crystal was also known to reflect it's owner; hence the reason only the owner of the crystal and lightsaber could be used by them. She had not truly given herself over to the Light but the crystal and her own Force energy could feel the suppressed Light; and called it forth. She still had Jedi-like tendencies. It was her Vahla genes that had corrupted the crystal with the Darkside. How could she not foresee that?

She pulled a small kit from her satchel, opened it, and retrieved the tools to open her lightsaber hilt. Carefully she placed both crystals inside and closed up the hilt. She was just about to activate it when she heard a knock on her hotel door.

"Yes," she asked slightly irritated at being disturbed. She had given them strict orders.

"I'm here to inform you that your three weeks have expired," the old clerk said.

Three weeks!

She had spent three weeks, apparently, on focusing the crystal.