Private You Can Run

[Jairdain]

Months had passed since Jairdain had last been heard from. She had put herself into a meditation trance that took her away to help her find peace and balance. It had partially succeeded. Enough that the woman felt confident that she would be able to return to her duties. After a short recovery and vacation, she had decided to take on a mission.

Luckily she wasn't going to be alone and was meeting her partner soon. They had agreed to meet at the Rest and she now waited. There wasn't much information she had about her partner, only that it was female and somebody quite young. Most likely about the same age Jairdain had been when she joined the Silver Jedi. Remembering those times, it seemed like a lifetime ago. That was when she saw the Galaxy through rose-tinted glasses...

Shaking her head and coming out of her memory, she took a sip of the tea she had on the table in front of her and set the cup back down. This tea was just another reminder of things she had picked up on Commenor. Going back into her memories slightly, if her partner showed up now, it would be odd. No matter what Jairdain did though, her past, specifically Commenor still haunted her.

When she picked up this mission, the guide for it was rather vague. Nothing was entirely clear, but hopefully, her partner might be able to make some heads and tails out of it. The information was sitting on the table next to the teacup. A small, green wolf was looking it over.

"So we're supposed to investigate the potential abduction of a Jedi at the hands of a Sith or some civilians. C'mon Sage, help me out here. What's going on?"

Hearing the approach of somebody, the wolf looked up at her and Jairdain stood to greet who she assumed was going to be her partner.

Mona Fae

 

[Mona Fae]

There is no emotion, there is peace​

The force is my guide
​

I drew a breath, holding it for a few moments before letting it out in a long, steady sigh. Me. Someone from the order had contacted me, asking for me to aid another on what seemed to be a dire mission. I walked towards my destination, hands laced together in front of me, montrals as ever draped over my shoulders. As the grey and white stripes appeared in my peripheral vision, I couldn't help but wonder...

They're much thicker and longer than normal for my age. What if the order made a mistake? What if someone thought I was older, wiser, more experienced than I truly am? My brow furrowed, a grimaced tightening on my features as I wondered if perhaps I should merely turn around. Maybe it would be better to scurry back to the Masters, to confirm - for the third time - that it was me they wanted, and not someone else.

But no, doubt had its place, but its place wasn't here. With a determination in my step, I rounded the corner to the meeting place.

There she was, the woman I was supposed to meet, sitting and sipping tea. My grimace melted into a small smile, if she enjoyed tea then I was sure we'd get along. Beside her sat a small green wolf, and I bowed my head to both of them as I approached.

"I'm sorry if I kept you waiting long," I began softly, "I'm Mona Fae, you must be...?"

A pause. I actually didn't know her name. In fact, much of this mission had been kept extremely secret. A jedi captured by a Sith... I knew that much. It was now, as I waited before the two, that I realized how strange the situation was. Why send us? A healer barely out of the academy, and a woman I understood to be a diplomat? Why not knights?

Shaking my head of the doubts, I turned to the wolf, reaching out a hand, palm facing upwards,

"I'm afraid I don't believe we've met." I chuckled, reaching to scratch behind its ear.

Jairdain

 

[Jairdain]

When Sage looked up, he allowed Jairdain to see the girl through his eyes. Shaking her head, she motioned to the seat next to her. It was placed there on purpose. This way, they could both look over the information they had together, even if it was Sage doing the looking. Her eyes were unfocused, but her attention was on Mona.

"Not long at all. Really just long enough for me to get in a few sips of the tea. Would you like some?"

Whatever answer Mona gave, Jairdain would work with it.

"I am Jairdain Ismet. Pleased to meet you, Mona."

Neither one of them knew the name of their partner and that was clear to the woman. Motioning to the wolf, she rubbed his side slightly since Mona was scratching him behind his ears. He loved the attention and she knew this.

"And this is Sage."

Smiling to help set any concerns the Padawan had aside, she waved a hand in the direction of the datapad.

"There are a few different items in this mission and I'm not sure what if any are accurate. What do you think?"

Mona Fae

 

[Mona Fae]

Tea.

I couldn't help but smile at the offer, graciously bowing my head as I took a seat, at her side where she gestured. Closing my eyes for just a moment, I let a soft sigh pass through my lips. I had always loved being around other Jedi. It was hard, sometimes, being constantly subjected to the emotions and whims of those around me. But the Jedi... there is no emotion, there is peace, and Jairdain radiated peace. For this meeting, at least, I could relax, and enjoy the pleasantness of her presence.

Taking a sip of the tea, I let a soft sigh uncoil from my chest as she introduced the beast as Sage. Placing my cup back down for a moment, I focused a gaze on the beast,

"Sage," I repeated, "it is a pleasure to meet you."

My new partner for this mission spoke once more, bringing my attention back to her as she asked about the mission. However, for the moment, I lost my attention, beginning to notice... something. There was something unique about her force aura, something I hadn't sensed before. For a few moments, everything seemed to drift away as I focused on it.

"You're blind."

The realization came over me suddenly, and I blushed, shaking my head with a soft gasp,

"I'm... sorry." I mumbled, biting my lip, "I shouldn't be so rude. The um... the mission, yes."

With a grimace, I tilted my head to look over the datapad, idly lifting a hand to shift one of my montrals out of the way.

"It's hard to get a read on it all," I confessed, "I'm not sure why, but something feels... off. I've never been to Sith space before but... of course if the order wants us to go and rescue him... Do you know anything about the Sith we're meeting? Or... or why they aren't sending combat experts? I don't know I just... I never expected to be going out to rescue a knight, that's just... not really my expertise."

Jairdain

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain was a natural empath and also picked up on the emotions of those around her. It was how she saw the world when she wasn't looking through the eyes of Sage. Emotions had their time and place, at one point, she had kept hers tightly reigned in and locked away. Not anymore though. Now she controlled them, but freely expressed them when she could. Mona would be able to pick up on her happiness at meeting her and the pleasant feeling she had while talking to the girl.

Without any hint of offense, she nodded at the observation made by Mona and nodded. Motioning to Sage and giving him a little pet.

"I am. Sage allows me to use his eyes to see the world. Before we met, I could only see through the Force. That's no longer the case and everything is so colorful! Different than what I previously knew or ever understood. Now I know what colors are and even how to read."

There were some things people took for granted. Reading and sight were just some of them. Jairdain cherished everything she had from the simplest of things to those that were grand. When she finished petting Sage, she didn't exactly wave off the girl's apology, but more made a motion to indicate it wasn't a worry or offense to her.

Remembering her days as a prisoner of the Sith, a small shiver went through her.

"I can get us there. In and out with no problem. Do we have the name of the Sith we are meeting? Perhaps, this Sith isn't what he appears..."

Shaking her head, she went to address the rest of the Padawan's questions.

"Why would they send in fighters to a meeting that's supposed to be all about diplomacy? Also, I've been captive of the Sith before. So if anybody knows about this kind of situation, it would be me."

Mona Fae

 

[Mona Fae]

I turned my gaze down to the wolf as Jairdain explained.

As she spoke, I couldn't help but feel a tiny smile creep onto my lips. Imagine, being able to see the galaxy through such eyes! To gaze out onto a twinkling night and see for miles, to enjoy colors and hues that our own eyes could never hope to behold, to observe the world with a sharpness and tone that would otherwise be well beyond our reach. I couldn't imagine how would be, being blind, but I felt glad that she had something to enjoy; something I imagined would be all her own.

"That sounds beautiful" I breathed in reply, glancing down to the wolf, "you're a noble creature, my friend."

The woman shivered, a whisper of old and painful memories rushing through her. I grimaced, my brow furrowed as for a moment, I felt a flash of fear and torment. Barely a whisper of the memories she must have been going through, but it was still enough to frighten me. I squeezed my eyes shut,

There is no emotion, there is peace​

Repeating the line from the code, I let the fear crumble and fade. Although I imagined there would be plenty of chances to repeat it on our mission. Sith territory was not to be tread lightly.

Jairdain spoke again, assuaging my worries about why there were sending us, promising she could get us there. That was good. Perhaps one day I'd have my own ship, but right now, even if I did, I doubted I would have been able to get very far. Her last comment left me unsettled, I wasn't entirely sure why. It didn't feel quite like a warning. But more... an echo, as if it were important, important for me to hear that.

"Not in the report." I answered the question quietly, "but I asked one of the Masters. Lord Raynar or something. Human."

A pause, a sigh.

"I'm not sure why I'm being brought along," I confessed, "this doesn't seem like the type of mission to send a padawan on. Of course, I'll do my best, but... I'm not sure what that's going to look like."

With a sigh, I glanced down at my hands. In the temple I'd heard the Masters talking about my natural penchant for healing. What worried me - truthfully - was that I would be needed,

Because I'm only good at one thing.

Jairdain

 

[Jairdain]

When Mona called Sage a noble creature, he pretty much started preening and showing just how noble he could be. Laughing at his playing around, he did decide to focus himself back to the topic of their mission. At the moment when the Padawan started to close her emotion off, Jairdain really wanted to stop her. Instead, she decided to turn this into a sort of lesson for the young woman.

"Emotion is fine, it is when you allow it to control you that it becomes something bad. I have experienced the spectrum of them in my time with the SJO, even now, I am entirely happy and going to get married soon. Allow them to flow, touch and know each one of them. Decide what you want to accomplish and control what you feel most of all. Don't ever deny that you have feelings."

As if to give a little weight to her words, they were strong, firm and secure, but not like she was talking down to Mona or treating her like a child. This would hopefully come across as she intended it to and as a lesson. Back to the mission information, she nodded and closed her eyes to think about it.

"My first mission...I ended up getting captured by some cultists. Luckily I was rescued before I could be sacrificed. I had been sent out on the mission alone. Why would they send a young and blind Padawan out on a mission alone? It was an even simpler mission than this one. One that required me to deliver a package only. Well, it failed and I was missing for a few months. Only able to return after I had recovered from being starved and beaten..."

And she fell silent. Not wanting to entirely scare the poor girl next to her.

"We're doing something different and you're not going alone."

Clearing her throat a bit, she finished off her tea and stood up. Sage climbed up onto her shoulder and she waited for the teen to join them.

"Do you have anything you need to collect before we leave? I honestly think things will become clearer as we progress through this mess."

Mona Fae

 

[Mona Fae]

I let out a sigh as Jairdain spoke.

She was right, and as I listened, I realized that - in a way - I'd become arrogant when I'd been assigned to this mission. I know what my abilities are, and due to the secrecy of the reports, had made assumptions and jumped to conclusions. Additionally, spent all my time until now in the academy, I thought that my grasp on the code was sound. I'd literally just completed my study on it, after all.

Oh, but I was so wrong.

This was why they were sending me on this mission. It was... for me. All I'd learned so far, everything that had happened in the temple, at the academy, it hadn't been the end of my education... but only the start.

I nodded,

"You're right, thank you, Jairdain."

She began to talk about her first mission, about how the Jedi sent a padawan - blind one - alone, and how it had almost gone so horribly wrong. For the first time, I felt a pang of doubt enter my mind. The Jedi Council? The Masters in whome I held such high regard... had they even considered the risks? Why had she been so vulnerable? I shook my head, swallowing back the thoghts. It would have just been an honest mistake on their part, surely.

The woman stood, but I took a moment to clear my mind before joining her.

"No, thank you," I replied, "I don't have a lightsaber yet so everything I need is here."

A pause, and I drew in a deep breath and let it out again.

"Let's go."

Jairdain

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain felt learning was something that would always happen. Even now, she had many things yet to learn. Different skills or how to accomplish certain tasks. She fully expected to learn something while they were on this mission. Not yet knowing what that might be when it happened, it would be natural.

Almost as if she could read the mind or thoughts of Mona, she nodded a little.

"We will both learn something from this, Mona. Remember, you will never know everything. Open yourself to knowledge and it'll come to you. I promise I will everything within my power to keep you safe while we are together."

Waiting patiently for the Padawan to gather herself, Jairdain would not display any sense of impatience or a desire to hurry. Nodding when Mona answered that she had everything when she had gone out on her first mission, she didn't have her own lightsaber either. Hoping this girl did not follow her own tracks through life, she really would do her best to keep her safe and protected while they were on this mission.

The halls of the Temple were familiar to Jairdain by now and she moved with confidence through them. Giving Mona the time to ask any questions while they walked, they would eventually find themselves next to an odd ship.

"This ship is something living and will keep us safe. Welcome aboard. Make yourself comfortable while I get us on our way."

It was perfect for a blind person to pilot. The ship was something almost alive and ideal for their mission.

Mona Fae

 

[Mona Fae]

As we walked, I felt the more experienced Jedi reach out and sense my thoughts.

Two empaths; it was a wonder we didn't suffer some sort of feedback loop. But I let a small sigh uncoil from my chest as I felt her read my thoughts and offered a gracious smile as she spoke. The woman was right. We - escpecially I - was here to learn as much as to complete a mission. Besides, while I may be merely a padawan, Jairdain was not. I wasn't going into this alone, and that was important to remember.

Jairdain herself moved through the temple as though she could see it; confidently making her way through the halls without a care.

Already I began to feel a little better. So perhaps we didn't have all the details. Maybe that was for the best. We had one another, and Sage. With the force as our guide, we would face this Sith and get back his prisoner.

As we walked, I mostly lost myself to my thoughts. That was the good thing about walking with another Empath. Neither of us needed to talk. We could feel one another as we made our way through the temple. She felt my fears ebb and dissipate, the excitement begin to creep in. Recalling her words, I didn't stifle it, instead let it stay, let myself be excited for a few moments. It was my first mission, after all.

Eventually, we came to a ship.

Right away I could feel something distinct about it. That is to say, I could feel something about it. It wasn't merely a hunk of metal and parts. This ship seemed to... exist in the force, as if it were somehow alive, in a way. I paused at the hull, gently reaching up to place a hand upon its surface as the woman spoke, feeling its aura, its energy beneath my hands.

"Hello," I greeted the ship quietly.

Turning to Jairdain, waiting for the ramp to descend before making my way on board.

"Thank you," I replied to the Jedi, "it's a beautiful ship."

And it was, both physically and in the force. It was with a sense of wonder that I made myself comfortable; my full intention being once we were out of atmo to meditate with the ship, see what I could learn about it, what it felt like.

Such a fine way to spend the trip, no?

Jairdain

 

[Jairdain]

Feeling the Padawan relax, Jairdain did too. Not that she was overly stressed or worried about the mission or the situation. Sadly these things happened, but some of the time (like now), something was set up and arranged for the rescue of the person kidnapped. It was unfortunate that she had to escape on her own, but that was part of what made her who she was today.

Having already explained some of this to Mona, she did not guard herself against the teen. However, if the girl did try to get a read on Jairdain, she would only be able to pick up what she was feeling on the surface. Like the attitude she presented, that is exactly what Mona would sense.

A clam and confident Master that had a solid grasp on what was expected. Turning her head a bit when she sensed the excitement bubble up around the teen she smiled. They came to where her ship was and walked aboard. Mona greeted her ship and joined her inside.

"She is certainly special and entirely perfect for me."

Giving Mona the time she needed to look around the ship, she did just what she said was going to do. Gaining clearance to take off, there would be felt the movement of the ship under their feet.

"Arrival won't take long. A few hours only."

Stating this, she took a seat in one of the chairs for that purpose.

"Tell me a bit about yourself. A datapad biography can only tell a person so much. What would you like to do when you become or a Knight or even Master?"

Mona Fae

 

[Mona Fae]

I couldn't agree more with Jairdain.

This ship, like her wolf friend Sage, seemed perfect for the Jedi. In a way I envied her that; for all she must have gone through, the woman seemed to have found - if not her place in this galaxy - something very close. But I'm still young, and with a slight grimace, reminded myself that if I let the force be my guide, then perhaps I would find my place in all this... and even if I didn't, that was okay too.

The Jedi herself moved to prepare us to leave, and I settled in one of the seats. Listening to her move about and gain clearence, listening to Sage, and feeling the ship itself. It was exciting, to be within something so utterly unique. Letting out my breath, I relaxed, sitting cross-legged in the seat. My eyes drifted closed, and I felt the movements and sounds around me begin to fade. Sensation became fuzzy and distant, as if I were floating away from myself. The world around me crumbled, and I existed in a state of nothing, merely being with the ship.

Suddenly I felt a soft jolt, and opened my eyes.

"Oof!" as I snapped out of my meditative state, I suddenly dropped back into the seat with a thud, landing off-balance and slightly disoriented.

Blushing and grimacing at the embarrassment, sensation returned, and it became apparent that we had lifted off. Within a few moments, Jairdain herself came in and settled into another of the seats. Offering her a meek smile, I turned to uncross my legs and sit properly, giving her my full attention.

"Me? Oh there's not much to tell. I think it says in there that they discovered I was an empath pretty early. You know, crying whenever someone touches you is kind of a red flag, I guess. I enjoy healing, of all the things I've learned, that's my favorite. It feels... good to be useful, you know? I can see myself doing that sort of work for the rest of my life. Heh, I don't know if I'll ever become a Master, though. You can ask them back at the temple, lightsabers and martial arts aren't exactly my strongsuit. I think they call it... a pacifist? I'm not sure. I'm exceedingly frustrating to instruct, as I'm told."

I shrugged apologetically, offering a half-smile. I don't strive for the rank of Master, I just want to be able to follow the force and go where I need to. Beyond that, it matters little.

"What about you? If you don't mind my asking. I don't wish to pry."

It struck me, with a slight chuckle, that both of us were empaths. Asking these questions were a curtesy to us, we could easily simply slip into the other's mind and feelings with precious little effort. Well, it was good to practice conversation, like this.

Jairdain

 

[Jairdain]

Being an empath and reading the history of people were two different things to Jairdain. One she did without even thinking about it since it was through the emotions of others that she saw the world. Only when she was using the eyes of Sage was that different. Right now, she was just a blind woman that could use the Force.

Not having witnessed Mona's meditation or her falling out of it, she had no idea it had happened.

"Why do you feel embarrassed?"

There was curiosity written on her face and truth in her tone. She really did want to know what caused this feeling within the Padawan. She had already asked a question though and listened to the answer given. In a way, the two of them were very alike.

Motioning to her own lightsaber, she chuckled just a little. Not exactly a good laugh, but almost a bitter one. In fact, it hardly contained any real emotion and that would easily be picked up by Mona. Having the feeling that part of this trip would be her helping to train the girl, this was just another skill Jairdain was good at. It was a role she had taken on naturally when she was a fresh Knight and had carried it on and continued to teach now.

"This is more of decoration at my side than anything I can actually use with any real ability. Many have tried to teach me actually and all of them have failed. My own skills are related to diplomacy and being a consular. People come to me for advice and I give it to them. You know, there are certain skills that even pacifists like us can use in an offensive manner. Observe."

Unless Mona pulled away, a bubble would appear around one of her hands. Only in the area around her hand would she feel it suddenly getting very cold. Allowing it to remain there for only a few moments, hopefully, the message would be received.

"You can also use that same skill to save your life or that of others. A Force Barrier or Bubble as some people call it. I am no fighter, Mona, but that does not make me helpless. Give yourself time and you will learn you are not either."

Ending that with a small and calm smile, she went to answer the curiosity of the teen.

"My life started on a world that is now gone. It was beyond the Outer Rim actually and we had no knowledge of the greater Galaxy. My parents were merchants and the kids were horrible to me."

Pointing at her eyes, "because I am blind. Children can be such mean creatures. Well, as I grew up, it was learned I could use the Force. Now since we didn't know about the Jedi or Sith, we had our own code which I follow to this day. Yet, I am at home with the Jedi and have a family of my own."

Falling silent for a moment, she had already told Mona some of her history and didn't want to repeat any of it. Deciding it would be better to explain things a little more fully, she went to remind her about some of what had already been talked about.

"If you want any clarification, just ask and I will answer."

Giving her a true smile, she fell silent and waited to find out if there was anything else she wanted to know or talk about.

Mona Fae

 

[Mona Fae]

It surprised me that Jairdain mentioned that she wasn't that skilled with a lightsaber.

What surprised me even more, however, was what she said next. I blinked as she talked about skills for combat that even a pacifist could use. The was? Would that... be okay, to get into a fight? I hated the idea of having to fight. Healing showed me all the damage weapons and rage can do, and if I knew only one thing it was my desire to never inflict that on another. However...

I watched in amazement as a bubble appeared around my hand. Straight away I could feel the air inside growing colder. My eyes widened in surprise as I watched it, clenching my hand a few times once she'd dismissed it. Incredible. I raised my hand to my face and turned it over, it felt fine. Lifting my eyes to Jairdain as she continued to speak.

"A force barrier," I mused quietly, "you really think I could learn that?"

The Jedi then went on to answer my question about her upbringing. My heart broke for her as she mentioned not only that her home was gone, but that the other children had been cruel. I was lucky, so very lucky, that my own childhood had been in the temple growing up. Sure, we hadn't always gotten along, but the Masters ensured we didn't bully each other. I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for her. I regarded the woman with a new respect. Few could have climbed out of such a childhood and become half as competent as she.

The silence befell us for a moment, and a small smile pulled onto my lips. For all she had been through... we had the same family now; the Jedi, and through them we'd found each other. I'd met plenty of mentors and teachers before, but she was something different entirely.

"Thank you, Jairdain." I replied, "I guess I have a lot to think about. I should perhaps meditate some if I can find the time before we reach our destination. You know, maybe when all this is over you could teach me how to use that power. Also... about earlier... sometimes when I meditate... things float... I startled myself when you came into the room, sorry about that."

I blushed anew as I explained. Neither of us could know exactly what was ahead, but at least, I knew I couldn't have asked for a better person to find out with.

Jairdain

 

[Jairdain]

The Master was far from a fighter, but as she had stated, that did not make her helpless. Nodding when Mona asked if she thought she could learn the skill, there was no doubt within her. Hopefully, that confidence would spread to the Togruta and be picked up. Support from others gave a person strength and Jairdain would help support the Padawan. Not just because they were on this mission together, but because they were family.

"Don't doubt yourself. Think of what you want to accomplish, figure out how to do it and remember you not alone. There will always be somebody to help you."

Giving her a smile, she considered the words of the teen.

"In my Padawan days, there was a girl that did the same as you. No, it wasn't me. I remember coming out of group meditation to hearing a crash around me. This girl had levitated not only herself but some of the things around her and the room. Luckily nothing that is free-floating on this ship can be damaged if they fall."

Understanding and acceptance came from Jairdain and would hopefully help settle any nerves Mona might be feeling.

"Yes, of course. I will be happy to teach that to you along with the skill that made the air around your hand cold. You see, the bubble is just that. A bubble. Inside of that is the air you can breathe, this keeps you or others you place one around safe in areas where you can't breathe. It won't last forever but can come in handy.

"We have a few days before we arrive at the rendezvous point. Take the time you need, meditate and even try to get a barrier started. There are many ways to learn something. We just need to figure out the best method for you."

Mona Fae

 

[Mona Fae]

I couldn't help but wonder to myself why Jairdain hadn't become a mentor or teacher at the academy.

She had such a heart for it. I could feel her gentle confidence, the way she naturally wanted to support me. I had been grateful for all of my teachers - it is a sacrifice to stay in the temple and train us padawans - but some of them could have learned a thing or two themselves from the woman before me. I smiled at her as she spoke. I had expected to spend this trip mostly playing catch up, afraid of dragging down the mission and worried that my lack of experience would be to our detriment.

remember you not alone

Her words resonated with me.

I'd always felt kind of alone. It wasn't that I was bullied or ostracized in the academy; I'd had friends, but I was the only empath, and it felt like no one truly understood what that was like. However, in all the Jedi in all the galaxy, I'd found my way to someone who knew exactly what that was like.

"Thank you," I replied, "I'll remember this."

Then she spoke about a girl like me in her classes, who would also cause things to float when she meditated. My eyes grew wide.

"Really? Another one? Aw, I hope she's doing well. Poor girl, I couldn't have any nick-knacks in my room at the academy!"

I chuckled, grateful that there was nothing around that I might accidentally damage. It could be frustrating, for sure, and a little embarrassing when my class would come to meditate and one of the mentors would walk around and collect all the loose items in the room, but in truth, I didn't mind, really. It was a quirk; something that made me... me.

Then the Jedi spoke of being able to train me, to teach me this technique. I felt my whole face light up as she did. Four days should at least be enough time to get a start on it, it wasn't like I had any other plans for the journey.


Jairdain