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Approved Tech XO Cargo Hauler

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Shai Daw

Character
Character
XO Cargo Hauler
Killzone_by_Ten24.jpg
Image by Ten24 http://ten24.deviantart.com/art/Killzone-120864599

[SIZE=13pt]Intent:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] to provide a suitable work vehicle for factories and spaceports. And To create a civilian air speeder that could be modified and be used by military groups [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Development Thread:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] NA[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Manufacturer:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] Daw Motors [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Model:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] Cargo Air Speeder[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Affiliation:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] Indipendents[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Modularity:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] Yes[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Production:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] Mass-Produced
[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Material: [/SIZE][SIZE=13pt]Durasteel[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Description:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] the XO Cargo Hauler was designed for use in factories and spaceports. Its small agile design made it ideal for transporting goods and workers almost anywhere. A small rail runs around the tray, so cargo can be tied down. With no passenger seating many companies crammed workers onto the back of the XO to transport them to different parts of the factory. This unfortunately has lead to many deaths from workers falling off the tray at great height. the motor gives the XO surprising speed for the work it was made for, along with this, the relatively low engine noise often results in collisions around the tight corners of factories and spaceports. to counter this, most companies mount a speed limiter on the cargo hauler as well as flashing lights. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]The XO has also become popular with many criminal and paramilitary groups. Using the XO's speed, manoeuvrability and silent motor to perform surprise raids. Landing and taking off again before the authorities arrive. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Role:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] Cargo and personnel transport [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Height:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] 1.4m[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Length:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] 5m[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Width:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] 3.4m[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Weight:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] 400kg[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Propulsion:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] Repulsorlift[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Top Speed:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] 260KM/H [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Armaments:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] NA[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Passenger Capacity:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] 1 driver, not recommended for passenger but that never stops people from trying. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Cargo Capacity:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] 600kg[/SIZE]
[SIZE=13pt]Misc. Equipment:[/SIZE][SIZE=13pt] spotlights[/SIZE]
 

Jaxton Ravos

Mindwalker of the Outer Rim
Writer
Basically a truck hunh? I like it, but there are just a few minor details that need fixing.

Firstly, your company daw motors, I don't believe it's canon or has a factory entry. If you want daw motors to make it that's cool, but it'll need a factory entry. Otherwise you'll need a canon company, anything that produces land vehicles and isn't strictly military will do.

Secondly, your speed. I don 't really have an issue with 260 km/h personally, but I'd like a note somewhere of about how fast it is compared to personal speeders.

Lastly, and this is mostly me being nitpicky, but the last paragraph mentions it being used for surprise raids. Can I get something that indicates how much noise the speeder makes to help flesh that out a bit?


Overall, I love this submission and once all of that's done this'll be approved.

@[member="Shai Daw"]
 

Shai Daw

Character
Character
http://starwarsrp.net/topic/10233-daw-motors/
it never got unlocked after the crash and i just forgot about it after awhile. i cant believe i forgot to recover it. and im doing threads to make Daw Motors a tier 3... i think i need your help to fix that part.

i think i fixed the rest. you also made me think of another potential downside.

now all i need to my compony to be unlocked

@[member="Jaxton Ravos"]
 

Jaxton Ravos

Mindwalker of the Outer Rim
Writer
I could've sworn I looked at the company lost and didn't find it. Sorry man. It looks to me like the submission is open for editing now, but is still in the approved section, so feel free to go nuts. @me if I'm just reading things weird and it's not unlocked yet or you're done putting the submission back in.

@[member="Shai Daw"]
 

Darron Wraith

Honor | Duty | Courage
Writer
@[member="Jaxton Ravos"] @[member="Shai Daw"]

Hey guys, I'm just popping in for a moment. Shai, I moved your submission to the company creation forum as you aren't allowed to post in the approved forum. Just a notice for you both and transparency.
 

Shai Daw

Character
Character
so i need to resubmit Daw Motors from scratch.
if so can i make the changes i was going to make to bring it from a tier 2 to tier 3.

@[member="Darron Wraith"] @[member="Jaxton Ravos"]
 

Jaxton Ravos

Mindwalker of the Outer Rim
Writer
Correct me if I'm wrong here Darron, but Tier 3 is generally the maximum we'll give to a user company just starting out, and in general needs a pretty good write-up. If you've done any dev threads for the company(Such as making deals or sales) you can plugs those in too and those should help out. Overall, a Judge of some sort will have to review the submission if you're trying to do anything you weren't in the original submission.

@[member="Shai Daw"]
 

Darron Wraith

Honor | Duty | Courage
Writer
@[member="Shai Daw"] I personally worked on your submission, and I do remember what i looked like vaguely (no i don't have photographic memory.) That said if you wish to resubmit it as a tier 3, go for it and please show me in the submission the work you have done to improve in tier as well at the bottom. @tag me personally and I'll review it as this is an odd case.

Carry on you two, back on topic for this submission.
 

Shai Daw

Character
Character
Thank u @[member="Darron Wraith"]

Is ther anything else I need to do on this, other then the company?

sorry i didnt tag @[member="Jaxton Ravos"] before. i dont know if you saw this already but that question is for you.
 
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