Xaxax Beta

[Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo]

[SIZE=9pt]Images:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt] credit: http://emperorkk.deviantart.com/art/Golden-planet-in-Deep-Space-321883968[/SIZE]

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[SIZE=9pt]Name[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Raggar/Ertallasnensallatre (short name is RE-7), or UR-s33-1a, or Xaxax Beta

Region: The Unknown Regions[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] *Xaxax Beta Nebula[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] * Xaxax Beta Cluster
System: Xaxax Beta Star Cluster System, or Raggar/Ertallasnensallatre prime system
Suns: 33 (Xaxax Beta Prime (blue/white G2 star), Cataclysmic variables binary neutron stars, 2 Spectroscopic Eclipsing Astrometric binaries system x 11, 2 brown dwarfs, 1 Brown hyper-giant, 1 white dwarf (originally counted as a planet, because its orbit was binary with Raggar/Ertallasneensallatre (it is 3,456,988 km away for the planet, 1 black dwarf, and 2 yellow G2 stars)
Orbital Position: 7[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Moons[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: 779[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] 4/Grofio: XBPREDF (Xaxax Beta Parliamentary Republics Expansionary Defense Force) base[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=9pt] 10/Trewqwert: wildlife sanctuary[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=9pt] 100/Tyuhjhuyt: is city moon[/SIZE]

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[SIZE=9pt] 278/Hiikiih: XPREDF Fortress[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=9pt] 317/Rtye: XPREDF shipyard[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=9pt] 777/Xessex: XBPREDF HQ[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=9pt]System Features:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] 12 planets and 33 [/SIZE]dwarf[SIZE=9pt] planets/planetoids in the system, and 33 stars, 47 asteroid belts, 1 ort cloud, 3 Comet clusters [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Coordinates[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: D-H (It intersects strait up from Csilla and strait left of Illum)
Rotational Period: 3567 standard days
Orbital Period: 6365.5 standard years

Class: terrestrial super-giant[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Diameter[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: 3,915,916 km
Atmosphere: Type 1
Climate: artificial controlled
Gravity: Standard [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt] Primary Terrain:[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt] Ecumenopolis[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Native Species:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] Raggar, and Ertallasnensallatre
Immigrated Species: Rakata, Viis, Xaxax, Chiss
Primary Languages: Raggar/Ertallasnensallatre Xaxaxan Basic, Xaxax beta basic standard, old Cheunh, new Rakata standard[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Government[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Raggar/Ertallasnensallatre Parliamentary Republic[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Population[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: total: 197,137,886,642,985[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Raggar: 97,347,187,891,477[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Ertallasnensallatre: 99,782,518,726,320[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Rakata: 1,245,456,002[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Viis: 3,457,772,907[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Xaxax 3,576,791,777[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Chiss: 4502[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Demonym[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Royalnians[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Major Imports[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: everything (except for illegal goods)[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Major Exports; classified[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Affiliation[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Varies between countries/species[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Major Locations:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] Xaxax Beta Galactic City[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=9pt]Culture: Varies between countries/species [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Technology: Celestial level[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=9pt]History: Originally called Raggar/Ertallasnensallatre. [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]The Xaxax were a technologically advanced species and created many strange and powerful devices. Some of their technology was left scattered across the Unknown Regions after they were gone, and the legend of their technical prowess was known to traders in the region as well, and one of their legends that later fact was that they discover and colonized Xaxax Beta. Xaxax beta was discovered by the Xaxax in 7,172,898 BBY,and was coveted in to an Ecumenopolis in 233,451 BBY. In 63,674 Aby the Viis transport ship Viisa Dawn came to the planet after getting attacked by an unidentified alien species and the Xaxax came to the rescue, and after some consideration the Viis from the ship decided to stay and not tell the Viis Empire to avoid being question of the Viis Emperor’s rival alien race[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Before the fall of the Infinite Empire, several [/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]saw the forthcoming alliance and decided to welcome them, forming a region of colonization called the TY-56 region. Xaxax Beta was one of the millions planets that the Rakata never left. While the surrounding planets died out or grew evil empires and wiped each other out, this particular system did not do so, retaining the enlightenment of the Parliament. Using history and records brought from Lehon, they grew wise but not barbaric, retaining their knowledge. That's not to say there was not fighting, however, it only affected a few Rakata.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]The Xaxax were fought to be an extinct sentient species by 10314 BBY, but was disover by GFFA explorer Jessie A. Laidlaw in 2113 ABY[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Notable PCs:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] Xassa Sinuu the current Planetary Prime Minster of Xaxax prime[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Santu’tyolran’nuruodo Chiss Council[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Sen’raw cam’co Chiss discoverer[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Jessie A. Laidlaw: rediscoverer from known space, and XBPREDF Supreme Commander [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Serty Sen: Viis council [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] Intent: To show what happened to the Xaxax, Rakata, and Vills after The Battle of Yavin IV[/SIZE]

 

[Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo]

please approve.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo"]

Is this an attempt at trolling or genuine?

 

[Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo]

no, but work hard on this by resurcing the species and making the planet, so i dont want this to go to waste

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo"]

I had to ask because although I have seen some poor submissions, I have never seen one where every single field is...wrong.

So I'll ask you to go through this one more time and make any changes you wish to make. When you are ready, tell me.

Bear in mind, for instance, that star systems do not contain hundreds of suns.

 

[Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo]

ok i am done

 

[Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo]

[member="Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo"]

I had to ask because although I have seen some poor submissions, I have never seen one where every single field is...wrong.

So I'll ask you to go through this one more time and make any changes you wish to make. When you are ready, tell me.

Bear in mind, for instance, that star systems do not contain hundreds of suns.

im am all done

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo"]
Okay.

I urge you to go and look at other approved planets to get an impression of how it is expected that these will be done.
I am going to deny this because it is, in my opinion, not possible to fix on the fly as practically everything will need to be changed.

I will list the issues below so that if you choose to create a new submission or eventually second chance this one you will have a better idea of what is expected. This list, while extensive, is not necessary exclusive.

• Name: Four different names is rather confusing. Put up one, and then mention the others in passing as other names which it might be known as.
• System: A Star Cluster is not a system. A system is like our solar system, with a set number of stars and planets.
• Suns: 33 is far, far beyond what can be supported in a single system. Our solar system has one star, but multiple stars are possible, we’ve even discovered one with 5. However, inhabitable systems will typically have 1 or 2. It would also be impossible for a neutron star to be in the same system as others because they require a supernova to form.
• Moons: This is not possible. With the max known being 67 for a gas giant, this is already impossible. Add to the fact my problems with your diameter later and it is not imaginable for a terrestrial planet to have more than 3 or 4.
• Images: All must have image credits listed.
• System Features: 47 asteroid clouds beggars belief. The problem with this, as with everything here is that you’re failing to understand the size of solar systems. Asteroid belts typically form from broken planets, so this would mean there would be space for 47 other planets. Needless to say this is not possible.
• Rotational Period: Ten years per rotation is possible, but unlikely.
• Orbital Period: The orbit of Neptune, our last accepted planet, is 164 standard years. Thus a planet orbiting for 6000+ years is not practical as it would be a frozen ice ball.
• Class: Terrestrial planets do not form giant planets from what we know. They can be larger than Earth in both Star Wars and real life but not to a level which would be called ‘giant’.
• Diameter: This is about 3 times larger than the sun. A planet cannot, and will never be this big. Without very good reason I cannot see why this would be over 20,000km as a maximum. Earth is about 12,000km for reference.
• Native species: Who are these? It would help if you describe the native species briefly because you would be submitting them to the Codex later anyway.
• Population: Wow. Aside from being oddly specific, this is so far above what reason would allow. Coruscant, which is entirely covered in a city, has 1 trillion people. Earth has 7 billion. Since ecumenopolis planets are rare and rely on a lot of subsidiary planets to support them, I cannot see any case where an unknown regions world would have more than 10 billion.
• Imports: I’m going to need details here.
• Exports: A submission to the Codex is OOC information. Even if people don’t know it In Character you need to tell us. We won’t leak it, promise.
• Affiliation: Needs to be more clearly defined.
• Technology: Celestial technology is banned, so this is not acceptable.
• History: I am sure you have copied some of this from Wookieepedia. Please don’t do that. Your time scales are also radically off from Star Wars canon.
• History 2: “Xaxax Beta was one of the millions planets that the Rakata never left.” This doesn’t make sense. The Rakata were confined to Lehon after the fall of their Empire. Even if we accept they made their way to your world, that is hardly millions.
• History 3: Our current timeline is 845ABY.
• History 4: You will need to mention board canon events such as the Netherworld, Gulag Plague and so on. You can find details in the timeline section.
• Notable PCs: PCs refers to player characters, that is characters written by actual people.
• Intent: This needs to be expanded. Considering the Xarax are extinct and the Rakata are reduced to a remnant you need to provide good reason why you want these two species here.

In general though, this submission is a mess. The problem is I feel you don’t fully understand how solar systems work and thus you’ve made everything absurdly over scaled.

Learn from what I’ve said here, examine past, approved submissions, and I think you could make something good.

Do not repost this submission. It will have to be Second Chanced. A new planet submission though could be done.