Private Written in the Scars

[Aren D'Shade]

There was a difference in their respective pasts; she had never fought the Jedi with or against them. However, she had fought other Sith. Before her master had died, there was a civil war, and they had been a part of that. After he died, she had walked away and left that life behind. The hints and clues she had dangled in front of Cassian remained in place.

She waited patiently for his answer. The steady beat of her heart didn't betray the nervousness she was feeling. Maybe her breathing did, as that wasn't entirely stable. Yet, he hadn't asked which side she had used. She was also a different person now. Not the same girl who had tried to rob a Sith of his treasures. She still had that item she had been after. No closer to understanding what it was than she had been the day she tried to pilfer it. A final gift from her master.

Once again, he asked how and made a decision not to accept her offer. She did want to give him some clarity, though. Feeling him let out a breath of tension, she clung to his touch.

"Watch."

Looking at the next pool of light, she closed her eyes in focus and reached out with the Force to wrap them both in it. A moment later, they were standing under the lantern.

"It doesn't matter how far we go as long as I have been there or I can see it, I can take us anywhere."

Keeping her hands gripped within his, she opened her eyes and met his gaze. One that held a great many possibilities and just as many dangers.

"As long as duty will allow it."

Cassian Abrantes

 

[Cassian Abrantes]

The world lurched, not in the dizzying rush of a ship dropping out of hyperspace, but in something quieter, subtler. One moment he was standing in the dim stretch of cobblestone path, and the next, lanternlight spilled across his shoulders. The same street, the same night air, yet they had crossed the space between with nothing but her will.

Cassian's breath caught, and he stilled instinctively, his soldier's mind noting how seamlessly it had happened. No sound, no ripple for the eye to catch. A weapon of movement, a gift of escape, all wrapped in the simplest word: watch. And she had done it holding his hands.

He let his gaze linger on her face, studying the calm that veiled the strain in her breath. She was steady, but he could feel the echo of her pulse in her grip. This wasn't just her showing him power. This was her placing it in his hands, trusting him with it.

"It isn't just dangerous," Cassian said finally, voice low, the words as much for himself as for her. "It's… freedom."

His eyes held hers, green reflecting back the lantern glow. And then here was Aren, standing before him with the impossible, offering him moments beyond obligation.

But then she added, "As long as duty will allow it."

Cassian's jaw tightened slightly. Duty had always been the anchor around his neck, the one thing he couldn't abandon without unraveling himself. He could hear the unspoken truth in her voice: she understood that better than most. Still holding her hands, he drew in a long, quiet breath, grounding himself. "Then we use it when it matters most. Not to run from what we are, but to remind ourselves we're more than the chains we wear."

For Cassian, that was as close as he could come to asking her to stay.

Aren D'Shade

 

[Aren D'Shade]

"It is freedom. Yet I wonder why I didn't use it to escape jail. Honor held me in place, Cassian. We might have had very different lives, but even I understand duty and honor."

Her words probably meant more to him than even she imagined. Yet she spoke them freely. Her tone matched his. The timbre was solid and secure, and she was positive she had made the right decision. By telling him about what she thought was her greatest power, she alerted him to what might also be her greatest weakness.

Watching his reaction, she knew she had again chosen the correct words to say. She spoke in a language he understood. One both of them understood for different reasons.

"I have broken my chains, and when the time is right, maybe I can help you break yours."

Standing this close to him, holding hands in this quiet and tender moment, made her eyes glitter with her unspoken want. Aren was not an angel, but she was far from the demon she could have been. Moving half a step closer, she let go of his hands and placed them on either side of him.

"You say the word and I'll take us away. For now, this is where I want to be."

Looking up at him and not keeping anything out of her gaze, she let it be clear without speaking what she meant. He owned her heart, and he needed to know. Even if he still held his.

Cassian Abrantes

 

[Cassian Abrantes]

Her declaration struck deeper than she likely knew. I have broken my chains… maybe I can help you break yours.

Cassian had spent a lifetime bound, by duty, by blood, by expectations heavy enough to crush men stronger than him. To hear her say that, here in the quiet, wasn't just comfort. It was challenge. It was promise. And then she moved closer. Her hands left his only to frame him, anchoring him in place as much as she anchored herself. She looked up at him, her gaze unshielded, raw with want and with something rarer still: certainty.

For a moment Cassian stood silent, feeling the tension coil tight in his chest. He wasn't a man who gave freely, not with words, not with touch. But Aren wasn't asking. She was showing. She was offering herself without condition, and the truth of that weighed heavier than any oath he had ever sworn.

"You already are," he said quietly. "Helping me."

His hand lifted almost of its own accord, brushing a stray strand of hair back from her face before settling lightly against her cheek. The gesture was reverent, careful, as if he feared she might vanish if he pressed too hard.

"Thank you, Aren."

Aren D'Shade

 

[Aren D'Shade]

She should have known she was moving too fast, but it wasn't in her nature. Aren was patient when she needed to be, and this stark reminder of that stood between her hands. However, she could read him almost as well as he could read her. Things would come to a head soo,n and she was positive she would be ready. All she needed to do was wait for him to prepare himself. Once their dams broke, what they were building was going to be better than anything either of them had felt before. Even without the Force, Aren knew this in the depths of her bones.

Tilting her head a little when he said she was already helping him, she nodded slowly. She also accepted his reluctance to kiss her, and while that was an apparent want in her own eyes, he kept it hidden from her. Leaning into the touch of his hand on her face, she was silent but remained in place. She wasn't going to disappear from his life.

Taking the hint, when his touch lessened slightly, she let go of his side and moved to stand next to him.

"I can work with that. Let's keep our walk going and follow the path to its end, wherever that is, as long as it's together. You're welcome."

Cassian Abrantes

 

[Cassian Abrantes]

Her words—"as long as it's together"—settled in him like a stone finding its place in water. No grand declarations, no demands. Just a simple truth. He realized then that she wasn't asking him to leap before he was ready. She was asking him to keep walking beside her, one step at a time.

Cassian let the silence linger a moment longer, his hand falling back to his side as she moved next to him. Relief touched him—relief that she hadn't recoiled when he hesitated, that she hadn't pressed harder against the walls he wasn't ready to lower yet. She understood restraint, even if patience didn't come easily to her. He looked down at her as they began walking again, their shoulders almost brushing. The lanternlight stretched their shadows long across the cobbled path, weaving them together and apart with each step.

"Then we keep walking," Cassian said quietly, his voice steady, resolute. "Whatever waits at the end of the path, we'll face it there."

For a man so often chained by obligation, it felt strange, liberating, to say we instead of I.

The night air was cooler now, filled with the hum of insects and the faint stir of leaves. It was ordinary, peaceful, something Cassian rarely allowed himself to enjoy. But with Aren at his side, he found himself slowing just enough to take it in, to let the path guide them forward, one step at a time.

"Can you swim?" Cassian asked with a smile.

Aren D'Shade

 

[Aren D'Shade]

His concession by including her in his statement brought a quiet smile to her face. A little step at a time was all it took, even if it seemed like this had taken her two steps back...she knew he was worth the challenge. It amazed her that she was so drawn to this man next to her.

Looking up at him quizzically when he asked if she could swim, she didn't think about it long.

"Yes, but it's been a while. I'd need to get a swimsuit. You'd also definitely see my tattoos then."

She had offered to show it to him after dinner, and it was still very much an option, but now it just wouldn't feel right. Unless Cassian started giving her other signs, she would keep being as patient as she could.

Cassian Abrantes