Private Where Winter Keeps the Dead

[Katarine Ryiah]

"Never Hide Your Heart"
​

Katarine watched Muad speak through narrowed green eyes. He seemed determined to convince everyone that he was a changed man, but Kat wasn't buying a word of it. By the time he disappeared into the cockpit, she was practically hissing under her breath and seriously considering following him just to offer a few choice, and decidedly unladylike, opinions on the subject.

"I suppose we can trust him not to drop us into a black hole…" Her gaze lingered suspiciously toward the cockpit. "Can't we?"

She didn't sound particularly convinced.

Thankfully, Eli provided a much-needed distraction. When he offered her his jacket, she slipped it on without hesitation, immediately comforted by the familiar scent clinging to the fabric. It was a scent she never thought she'd experience again. "Thanks." She smiled at him, but the expression faltered slightly as an awkward sensation began creeping into her chest.

Things were strange. Of course they were strange. They hadn't seen each other in several thousand years, which wasn't exactly the sort of absence most couples were equipped to navigate. Only a short time ago, Katarine had been on Zeltros wrapped in the arms of a Sith, indulging in a lust-filled escape from reality, the same sort of reckless distraction she had thrown herself into before, when she had believed Eli was dead.

Except Eli wasn't dead. He was standing right in front of her, and Katarine suddenly had absolutely no idea what that meant for them.

"I think I need to get you into my bed."

Her stomach gave an unexpected little jolt. Kat's eyes widened before Eli winked and continued his thought, mercifully giving her enough time to recover. A soft laugh escaped her, and she smiled despite herself, but inwardly her heart had begun racing with the ridiculous nervous energy of a virginal teenager facing her first crush.

Well.

That was new.

"Listen… I should…" She trailed off with a sigh. This was going to be difficult. She had only just gotten him back. The last thing she wanted was to say something that might send him running in the opposite direction. But she trusted Muad about as much as she trusted a stormtrooper's aim, and recent events had made one thing painfully clear. Eli needed to know the truth. More importantly, he needed to understand exactly how dangerous staying close to her might be.

Kat reached for his hand and gently led him somewhere they could sit. Once they had, she kept hold of him for another moment, gathering the courage to say the words she had been dreading.

"Eli…" She drew in a slow breath. "I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to stay around me."

Her fingers tightened slightly around his.

"I want you to. Force, I want you to more than anything." Her voice softened. "But I'm in trouble. A lot of trouble."

She glanced down at their joined hands before forcing herself to meet his gaze again.

"I don't want you getting hurt because of me. Not again." The last words caught painfully in her throat. "Not like last time."

She winced at the memory. Losing Eli once had nearly destroyed her. The thought that she might somehow be responsible for it happening again was more than she could bear.


Ellion Corsair

 

[Ellion Corsair]

"Listen… I should…"

Eli felt his heart bottom out. Nothing good ever started like that. The heavy sigh only served to confirm his suspicion as she took his hand and led him to where he could sit next to her. Now she wanted him to sit. Feth, was this the gentle letdown? Good to see you, thanks for the ride, and goodbye? He knew her hug was too good to be true. But with his hand in hers, he didn't trust himself to speak.

"Eli… I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to stay around me."

And there it was. Somehow he knew this was too good to be true. She had a boyfriend, or fiancé, or even a husband. Maybe there were kids and a white picket fence. All the things he never had with her. And the man she was with probably never flinched at her touch. He struggled with the empty words to tell her he was happy for her, and to hell with it if he was lying through his teeth. He just wanted her to be happy. If she couldn't have that with him, he still wanted her to have it. And he wouldn't bother her again.

Then she said she was in trouble, still wanted him, and didn't want him to get hurt again. His chin dropped to his chest as he let out a huge exhale. For a moment he just breathed, feeling his heart return to his chest and begin to beat again. Then he looked up into her big green eyes and gave her the most lopsided grin he was capable of.

"Katarine. I just got you back. What kind of fool do you think I am if I were just to let you go? And don't you remember? Trouble is my middle name."

His free hand reached out and gently stroked her cheek before cupping her chin in his palm. "I know what you're worried about. But I'm not that young kid who couldn't separate fact and fiction. While you were in stasis, I've been kicking around the galaxy, working through my issues, and growing in the Force. I'm not the green Corellian Padawan I once was. And if you're in trouble, I'm not going anywhere. As long ... as long as you'll have me, sweetheart."

Eli knew what it was like to live a life without her. He always swore if he ever got another chance, he'd do it right. Here was his chance, and he wasn't running.
Katarine Ryiah

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

"Never Hide Your Heart"

​

They were exactly the words she wanted him to say, even if she knew she probably shouldn't want them.

Katarine didn't know if she could survive losing him again. The first time had nearly destroyed her. It might have, if she hadn't been too much of a coward to finish the job herself. The noble thing, the selfless thing, would have been to tell Ellion no. To insist that he walk away and leave her to untangle the nightmare she had created on her own.

She simply wasn't strong enough to do that.

Instead, she crawled closer until she was settled in his lap, curling against his chest as though she could hide from everything there. For a few precious seconds, she let herself pretend that nothing else existed.

But she knew she had to tell him.

She had to explain what she had done. What had been done to her. The mess she had made and the thing now lurking beneath her skin.

Something evil was moving through her veins, and she had already begun to feel its influence. Her emotions were erratic, swinging from one extreme to another with frightening ease, and she couldn't shake the suspicion that the biot nestled inside her was responsible. What if it only got worse? What if she became so volatile, so capricious, that even Ellion eventually couldn't stand being near her?

Horrifyingly, the mood swings were the least of her problems. How in the Force was she supposed to look him in the eyes and tell him that, for the moment, the only thing keeping her alive was blood?

The thought made her stomach twist.

She hated it. Hated the implication of it. Hated what it made her feel like.

Part of her desperately wanted to believe the demon had lied, that this was simply another cruel manipulation meant to keep her frightened and dependent. But she couldn't find any reason for him to lie about this particular thing. If anything, she suspected he enjoyed the predicament he had engineered for her.

Maybe enjoyed was the wrong word.

Katarine wasn't entirely convinced the man enjoyed anything. Perhaps everything was simply another calculation, another step toward control and power. Either way, he had no reason to deceive her about what would happen once the biot exhausted the blood stored inside it.

She needed to tell Ellion all of it.

Just... not yet.

There was already too much between them that needed to be untangled. Too many questions neither of them had answered. The darkness would come soon enough and ruin whatever fragile peace they had managed to find.

For a little while longer, Katarine just wanted to stay curled against him and pretend the monsters could wait.

"So... Muad Dib....." She glanced up at him and tried to grin. "Please tell me there is some way to free you of him so I can punch him in the face properly." Her lips turned up at the corners, just slightly.



Ellion Corsair

 

[Ellion Corsair]

Her response took him by surprise. A very, very pleasant surprise. As Katarine eased into his lap, one hand encircled her waist while he silently cursed himself for giving her the jacket, and his right hand moved to her thigh, anchoring her in the off chance Muad did something stupid at the controls. And with him, it was a real possibility. Her hair fell to his chest, and he couldn't keep a grin from stretching his lips. This was more than he had hoped.

There was the fear that she would remain aloof, and a worry that she had a significant other who would keep her at a distance. But with her nestled so close, the worry dissipated. Perhaps the two could rebuild what time had broken. Even though, with her there with him, it felt like no time had passed.

Yet Eli knew she wasn't saying everything. Her quiet demeanor spoke of internal dialogue and decisions. And he couldn't keep a level of trepidation from his eyes.

"So... Muad Dib..... Please tell me there is some way to free you of him so I can punch him in the face properly."

He saw her small smile, yet his slowly eased away. How was he supposed to explain how he didn't die? Or what Muad did to save his life? Eli wasn't stupid enough to think that Muad acted in the best interests of his heart. After all, he was the one who shot him and kicked him from the roof. But there was a benefit Eli couldn't deny. Along with consequences he couldn't escape.

The hand on Kay's thigh turned over, revealing the deep scar tissue at his wrist. The memory of what happened had him closing his eyes for several moments before he opened them and turned his gaze to hers.

"I haven't found a way yet. And I looked for centuries. You remember the Sith Pack? Each of the four chose a distinctly different path. Sorcery for Arabella ..." Eli paused at the name. History between her and Muad had an unpleasant ending. Then he continued. "The Mando, Atin, activated his dormant taung genes. Dresdin became a Dread Lord. And Muad... well, he became a Battlelord. Sith sorcery, alchemy, and a touch of Dathomiri magik. A ritual where he binds himself to a follower, or a nearly dead merc in my case. I can't break the bond; even if I knew how, only Muad can sever it. And, well, I don't see that happening."

He finally gave her a weak smile. "And if he did, I would die." Eli wasn't sure how much to tell her. Part of him wanted to tell her everything. The other half was worried she would run from him as soon as her feet hit the surface of the next planet. He had never considered himself the good guy, nor evil. But the shades of grey where he had always operated had grown darker over the centuries. Would she stay if she knew the entirety of the truth?
Katarine Ryiah

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

"Never Hide Your Heart"
​

She listened, and though she didn't particularly like what she heard, a small, almost disbelieving smile tugged at her lips.

What an absurd twist of fate.

After centuries apart, somehow they had found their way back to one another only to discover that each of them had become bound to someone else in ways neither fully understood nor knew how to sever. There was something almost cosmic about the cruelty of it. If Katarine had ever believed in something as sentimental as soulmates, she would have wagered her life that Ellion was hers.

"I suppose I'll try to be nice to him, then..." She paused before adding begrudgingly, "But only for you."

She nuzzled closer against his chest, brushing her nose against him and breathing in the familiar scent she had once thought she would never experience again. For a moment, she tried to concentrate on that instead of everything he had just told her.

It was difficult.

The Sith seemed incapable of leaving well enough alone. They were forever reaching deeper into the darkness, testing its limits, twisting things that should never have been touched, and somehow innocent people were always the ones left paying the price.

She was so tired of it.

"You and I seem to have ended up in remarkably similar predicaments, even after centuries apart."

The faint humor in her voice disappeared almost immediately.

She had no idea how much Muad had told him.

Katarine sighed and lowered her face against Ellion's chest. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. Not for this. Her fingers curled lightly into his shirt instead, and when she finally spoke, her words were muffled against him.

"When I thought you were gone... I went off the deep end."

She swallowed.

"Bad."

Another pause.

"Really bad."

Her grip on his shirt tightened.

"Like... ended up in the arms of a darksider and then became a strung-out junkie kind of bad."

There.

It sounded even worse spoken aloud.

Katarine squeezed her eyes shut as shame burned through her, and before she could stop them, tears slipped free and disappeared into the fabric of his shirt.

"I'm so sorry."

Her voice cracked around the words. She desperately wanted to make him understand. To somehow explain that none of it had been about love. She hadn't found someone else. She hadn't replaced him. There had been no grand romance waiting for her after Ellion disappeared.

There had only been grief, and eventually, something that made the grief stop hurting.

A drug. A terrible, intoxicating escape she had reached for because being near the dark man drowned everything else beneath the rush of darkness flooding through her veins. For a little while, she hadn't needed to think about Ellion. She hadn't needed to remember what she had lost. She hadn't needed to feel anything except the high.

Once she had discovered something capable of silencing that pain, she hadn't possessed the strength to stop reaching for it. How was she supposed to explain that without making it sound even worse?

"I didn't love him," she whispered finally, still unable to lift her head. "It wasn't like that. It was never like that."

Her voice grew smaller.

"I just... didn't want to hurt anymore."

It sounded pitiful, and she wouldn't blame him if he were angry. "I grew too attached to the dark side. Eventually I had to lock myself away. I thought it would stop the cravings.... but it didn't. When I woke up, they were still there. I tried to fight it. I failed. Then... He caught me. "

She shivered involuntarily at the memory of the Black Pyramid. "Now I'm bound to a Sith as well.... and if I don't do what he wants..." She didn't finish the sentence. She couldn't bring herself to say it would be the end of her life. Not when the only thing worth living for had finally returned to her.

Ellion Corsair

 

[Ellion Corsair]

"Oh, don't be nice to him on my account. Just ... don't hit him in the nose again. That hurt." His teasing smile and wink revealed he was kidding ... about the being nice part, at least. His nose still stung.

As she drew even closer, he sighed in utter contentment. This, this right here had been what he was missing for centuries—Katarine in his arms and a sense of ease as the galaxy recalibrated around them. Even the ship was the same. Well, mostly. It had been refitted, rebuilt, and upgraded so many times that he briefly wondered whether any original parts remained. But while time had left its indelible mark on the vessel, at the core of what it once was remained.

A rueful smirk split his face at the comparison between the ship and the two of them. Eli didn't miss the irony.

When she compared their current lives and their similar entanglements, amusement flickered in his blue eyes. It didn't remain long, as Kat averted her gaze and her hand tightened in his shirt. He understood a certain amount of unpleasantness was about to be confessed, and he steeled himself for the coming declaration.

"Like... ended up in the arms of a darksider and then became a strung-out junkie, kind of bad. I didn't love him. It wasn't like that. It was never like that."

Now he wished she had punched Muad several more times. He could handle physical pain. But the ache in his chest felt as real as a sledgehammer. A slight gasp escaped his lips as he closed his eyes. Accusation. Blame. Disgust. Even hatred welled up within him. The sense of betrayal was very real. The emotional blow almost had him reeling, almost had his arms easing away from the woman on his lap. How could he ever forgive after such a revelation?

"Then... He caught me. Now I'm bound to a Sith as well.... and if I don't do what he wants..."

The rest of her words flowed over him as his body tensed involuntarily beneath her form. Eli knew he needed to address the feelings flowing through him, originating from where his heart beat painfully within his chest. He wondered how love grew from dark actions taken without thought, yet reverberated with consequences.

Slowly, tenderly, his fingers traced along her thigh to her hip before lifting to her jawline where he shifted her head upwards. His thumb stroked her chin while waiting for her gaze to return to his. Once her deep green eyes met his, he spoke in a whisper weighted with emotion.

"After everything you just told me, I don't know if there is forgiveness for that. I can't forget. And I can't forgive." The corners of his lips rose infinitesimally while the hurt in his eyes reaffirmed what he spoke.

"If I hadn't left with Muad, you would never have been forced down that road. You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the selfish bastard that put you there." His eyes closed as he turned his head away from hers. The disgust, shame, hatred, and reproach weren't for Kat. They were directed at himself. If he hadn't taken on the mission that he believed he needed to, allowed Katarine to think he was dead, then she would never have spiraled away into the special hell she'd endured.

The unforgivable deeds were not hers, but Eli's.

Tears glistened across his lashes, unfelled but there. "I abandoned you. And for that there is no forgiveness. Bjork, my brother, was captured by the Sith, and they were torturing him and brainwashing him. The only way to save him was to go undercover as a Sith aspirant. But I couldn't go as Ellion Corsair. I needed a new identity. And so I let the galaxy, I let you, think I was dead. With the ritual Muad performed, I had an aura of darkness that cloaked who I was."

His head turned even farther away as his hand drifted from her face and lay limply by his side. "It took almost a year to free him. Muad assisted in the prison break, earning even more ill will by his slaughter of Sith as we escaped. Bjork was broken, emaciated, and lost. It took even more time to heal his body and mind. And when he was well enough, I left him with Muad and came searching for you. But it was too late."

The gathered tears finally fell, rolling down his cheeks as the guilt and self-loathing were written on his face and permeated the space around them. "My choices pushed you into the spiral. I can't ask for your forgiveness ... because I won't forgive myself."
Katarine Ryiah

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

"Never Hide Your Heart"
​

Muad had helped save his brother?

The revelation felt impossible, and yet Kat knew Ellion would not lie to her. Not now. Not while they were peeling back centuries of hurt and confessing the truths they had carried alone for far too long.

She wasn't entirely certain what to do with the information where the irritating blue-eyed man was concerned, but when it came to Ellion, she understood completely. If anyone knew what it meant to make impossible choices for a brother, it was Katarine. In that regard, she probably owed him ten thousand times over. Family had a way of making otherwise unthinkable sacrifices seem necessary.

She could never blame him for that.

Ellion, however, clearly blamed himself.

Kat felt him stiffen beneath her, the turmoil inside him bleeding so strongly into the Force that she could almost taste it. At first, she thought it was because of what she had confessed. Her stomach twisted as panic took hold.

He was horrified by what she had done. Of course he was. She deserved that.

The thought of losing him again struck with enough force to make it difficult to breathe. She had already survived his loss once, if what she had done afterward could even be called surviving. She knew, with terrifying certainty, that she could not do it again. Ellion had every right to leave her at the nearest spaceport and never look back. She had made her choices. She had fallen apart. She had crawled into the arms of darkness because it hurt less than grieving him.

She deserved whatever judgment came next.

But when Ellion finally spoke, her eyes snapped open.

The anguish pouring from him wasn't directed at her. It was directed inward. Kat stared at him as realization settled over her. He was blaming himself.

Then she saw the tears slipping down his cheeks.

Her heart broke.

Not because she believed he was responsible for what had happened to her, but because he did.

"Ellion…"

She reached up, brushing the tears gently from his cheek with her thumb. Her green eyes held his, searching desperately for the right thing to say.

How could she make him understand that none of it had been his fault? Her choices had been her own. Her grief had been her own. He had not placed that darkness inside her, and he had certainly never asked her to destroy herself because she thought he was gone.

There were a thousand things she wanted to tell him. That she forgave him, though there was nothing to forgive. That whatever tangled mess surrounded Muad, Dax, the Devil, and everything else waiting for them beyond this moment, they would face it together. That she did not care how many centuries had passed or how badly either of them had lost their way.

As long as she had him, she could survive the rest. They would figure it out. Together. The way some stubborn part of her had always believed they were meant to.

Kat opened her mouth, still unsure how to fit everything she felt into words. In the end, she didn't have to.

The words came naturally, escaping before fear or reason could stop them.

They were simple.

Terrifying.

Yet perhaps the truest thing she had said in centuries.

"I love you."




Ellion Corsair

 

[Ellion Corsair]

There was nothing left to say. She should hate him. And yet, when she spoke his name, there was no condemnation. No hate. Just a word that soothed his fevered soul. When her thumb lightly brushed the tracks of his tears, he finally turned his head and met her gaze.

How could she look at him like that? Wide green eyes that offered acceptance and safety in the midst of the turbulent storm that raged within him. His hand rose, and he brushed the remaining unshed tears from his eyes before dropping his hand back to her thigh.

He couldn't compare to the horrors she had endured because of his disappearance. But maybe, maybe, his centuries of self-flagellation and solitude could be where he could find forgiveness for himself. And the determination to never abandon Kat again. Perhaps redemption would come through that. It was a worthwhile endeavor.

And then three little words fell on his ears and took root in his heart. I love you. Even after all this time, all the heartache and brokenness, Katarine continued to profess her love. Eli decided it was enough. More than enough. She was everything he wanted, everything he needed.

"You don't have to say it if you don't mean it." His arms drew her higher into his chest. His eyes never left hers. "I've loved you ever since you walked into the bar with that old bomber jacket. I fell more in love with you on this ship, when we traveled through the emptiness of space. And even when I was suffering through what Styx did to me, I loved you still. And I swore that if it took a thousand lifetimes, across ten thousand star systems, I would find you again. I never stopped loving you, Katarine Ryiah."

His hand eased to her chin, and he slowly, inexorably, lowered his face toward hers. Eli paused, just before his lips touched hers, and he whispered. "I love you, princess." Then he eased forward to close the last distance.

Suddenly the ship corkscrewed through space, and the two of them were launched off their seats. His arms circled Kat, and he rolled his shoulder to slam onto the walkway with a thud; her body was kept from the impact by being held against his. He groaned while he let his head drift backward. Eli lay flat on his back, his gaze looking to see if Katarine was okay.

"This is your captain speaking—apologies for the turbulence. I just couldn't help myself. I wondered what that button did. Don't worry, I'm fine. I was strapped in. We're now jumping with our hyperdrive." Laughter rang out until Muad deactivated the intercoms, and the ship jerked as they leaped into hyperspace.
Katarine Ryiah

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

"Never Hide Your Heart"
​

He leaned down, and Katarine slowly crossed the space between them. Her heart soared as his lips met hers.

For one impossible moment, everything else disappeared, the centuries between them, the pain, the mistakes, the darkness she had drowned herself in trying to survive his absence. There was only Ellion.

Suddenly she understood something that made her chest ache. For centuries, she had felt like she'd been kissing strangers. It didn't matter how close she'd let someone get, whose arms she'd fallen into, or how desperately she'd tried to convince herself that she could build something new from the wreckage. Some part of her had always remained detached, reaching for something that wasn't there. She had mistaken distraction for affection, desire for connection, and loneliness for love more times than she cared to admit.

But this...

This felt like coming home.

Her fingers curled into his shirt as she kissed him back, green eyes slipping closed. For the first time in centuries, Katarine didn't feel like some ancient relic wandering through a galaxy that had long since forgotten where she belonged. She wasn't displaced. She wasn't lost.

She had a place.

She had a home, and Force help her, maybe she even had a purpose again.

Him.

Then the entire ship corkscrewed.

Katarine barely had time to gasp before the world pitched sideways. Ellion's arms tightened around her, and a second later they slammed into the walkway, his body taking the brunt of the fall while she landed sprawled across his chest.

"What the..??"

Muad's voice crackled cheerfully over the intercom.

Katarine froze.

By the time his laughter echoed through the ship, her expression had transformed from startled confusion into something considerably more murderous.

Her eyes narrowed toward the ceiling.

"I'm going to strangle him."

She meant it, too.

Fortunately for Muad, she also knew exactly how much that would hurt Ellion, which was currently the only thing standing between the Mandalorian and an exceptionally unpleasant demonstration of how creative a Jedi Master could become when sufficiently irritated.

With an aggravated hiss, Katarine pushed herself upright and climbed off Ellion. She offered him a hand and helped haul him back to his feet before brushing a few imaginary specks of dust from his shirt. Then she dusted off her own pants, tugging them back into place with considerably more force than necessary.

Her gaze slowly traveled toward the cockpit door.

The glare she leveled at it could probably have melted durasteel.

"Where is he taking us, anyway?"


Ellion Corsair

 

[Ellion Corsair]

He knew he should be sore. After all, he did hit the floor rather hard, and Kat landed on him, a knee coming down way too close for comfort on the ground beneath his legs. But all he could do was remember the barest of touches as their lips came together. It shouldn't have been labeled a kiss, but a kiss was what it was. And lying there with his head against the cold durasteel floor, he couldn't help the giant, lopsided grin on his face.

She said she loved him. And she didn't retreat when he went in for the kiss. And that was all that mattered.

Then she angrily rose, using his chest as a brace, and the wind exited his lungs with an oomph. Then she extended her hand, and he rose to his feet, still in the daze of warmth from their every so brief moment. When she pulled her pants to ride higher on her hips, he was completely distracted and almost missed her question. While his eyes still traced the way her pants hugged her hips, a smirk remained on his face; he reached out and took her hands before she hit something else.

"Sweetheart, maybe you should try to breathe a second." He raised her hands to his lips and kissed them, his blue eyes latching onto hers.

"And, uh, he's taking us home." Eli knew the words would be confusing. Hell, sometimes he couldn't wrap his own head around it. Before, all he had was his ship. Then all he needed was Katarine. But in the years between losing her and now, he did find his place in the most unlikely of places. In Muad's world.

"There's no real way to explain what I'm talking about. I'm just going to ask you to trust me, if you can. I swear, you'll understand soon. In the meantime ..."

He stepped closer and put his arms around her to ease her closer against him. "I think maybe a long shower, some food, and sleep is the best thing you need." His half-grin and the glint in his eyes revealed he had other things on his mind, but he knew that, with everything she'd gone through, she needed those things. "I'll scrounge up something for you to eat. The refresher, lockers, and bunk beds are still where they used to be. If you can remember where they were, considering how much time you spent on this ship."

He definitely didn't want to let her go. But Katarine needed this more than she probably knew. "I'll be here, waiting for you, when you come out."
Katarine Ryiah

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

"Never Hide Your Heart"

​

"Sweetheart, maybe you should try to breathe a second."

Katarine winced, guilt hitting her almost immediately. "I'm sorry... I..." She trailed off. How exactly was she supposed to explain that she was basically a bargain-bin vampire with emotional mood swings completely beyond her control? There really wasn't a graceful way to phrase that. She closed her mouth instead and forced herself to breathe while Ellion explained that Muad was taking them home.

The guilt vanished in an instant, replaced by irritation.

Oh, so Muad got to live at home with Ellion for all these centuries, did he?

The nerve of that blue-eyed menace.

Then Ellion's lips brushed over her knuckles, and Katarine was abruptly distracted by an entirely different set of emotions. He pulled her closer, and the look in his eyes made her stomach flip. For one reckless second, she seriously considered ripping his clothes off right there.

Then the image of Muad walking in on them flashed through her mind.

Irritation surged right back.

Katarine bit her lip and slowly exhaled through her nose.

"Yeah... maybe."

She tried to smile at him, though she felt like a teenager trapped in the world's most violent bout of mood swings, only somehow a billion times worse.

"Promise you'll be here..."

It came out somewhere between a plea and a demand. She hated how vulnerable it sounded, but she couldn't help it. Some frightened part of her was terrified to let him out of her sight, as though the moment she looked away he might disappear for another few thousand years.

Only after several more reassurances that he wasn't going anywhere did Katarine finally leave for the shower.

It was far from relaxing.

The Force dyad was difficult enough to ignore on a good day. With her emotions ricocheting wildly from guilt to anger to desire to fear, it was nearly impossible. As she washed her hair and let the hot water stream over her face, flashes of Daxium's yellow eyes kept invading her thoughts, accompanied by torrents of emotions that definitely did not belong to her and mixed with the gulf of her own.

Katarine groaned.

That is incredibly annoying

His response came almost immediately.

As far as I'm concerned, this is all your fault. Deal with it.

Then the Force went mercifully quiet.

Her head, unfortunately, did not.

Maybe after a quick nap they would finally be home.

Wherever the frak that was.


Ellion Corsair

 

[Ellion Corsair]

It was almost hilarious how much Kat wanted to hurt Muad. And in any other universe, he'd be happy to sit in the bleachers while eating popped gun dark corn. But now, it wasn't a great idea, not just because of his connection with the other man. He was worried about Katarine. The last time they had crossed paths, she was the master with more experience than the Sith Muad used to be. Now? She had no idea of everything he had become over the centuries. Or the connections he had built that transcended factions, governments, and other politically charged lines. In a roundabout way, Muad could elicit favors from both spectrums of Force-empowered individuals.

And he was no longer a simple Mad Knight of the Sith.

As Kat reluctantly left for the fresher, after he promised to be there when she came out, he enjoyed the view of watching her march away, hips swinging as she worked her frustration and fury into a temper-fueled walk-off. His grin stretched as she disappeared and the water became audible. With Muad there, it certainly added a flair of tension. Hopefully the madman would remain in the cockpit for the duration of the trip.

He walked to the lockers and rummaged through his clothes, finding one of his long button-down shirts. His lips twisted in a smile as he remembered how often she stole his shirt, the hem dropping along her thighs, as they cozied up on one of the bunks. The memory didn't travel in the expected direction. Instead, he reminisced about their lying together and talking through the night until drifting to sleep with her in his arms.

He hung the shirt and headed to the small kitchen. However, he paused at the edge of the bunk before taking a knee and reaching below. He pulled out an old footlocker, popped the clasps, and raised the lid. Inside were several items of memorabilia from the last few centuries. Carefully, he set them aside, then pulled out a bundle of clothing to set on the mattress. He unrolled it and looked at the clothing.

Dark trousers and tan trousers with multiple tank tops rolled free. His hand lightly touched the clothing as a small smile crept upon his face. For the longest time, he had kept her spare clothing in the lockers. And then, after almost a century, he stored them away, unable to have the constant reminder of his lost lover greeting him every time he passed them.

He pulled two more items from the chest—a pair of her old boots, which he set near the edge of the bed. The final item was a jacket he had found seventy years after she went into hibernation. A leather jacket very similar to the one she had used to wear. Eli couldn't explain why he had bought it. But that night he had drunk three bottles of whiskey, red-rimmed eyes staring at the garment all night. In the morning, as he fought a hangover and nausea, he had stowed it away. Maybe Kat could put it to good use.

Just before he stowed the footlocker away, he retrieved a final item, then kicked the case closed and under the bunk. Most padawans built their first lightsaber under their master's tutelage. Often copying each detail. He had been no different. When he began his path alongside her, he made a saber aesthetically similar. The only difference was that the handle was longer to fit in his hand. He tended to employ dual weapons, so his single-handed hilt might fit her two hands, until she made or retrieved one of her own. And Eli had been ambitious. The lightsaber was a dual-phase blade. He smirked as he left it on the bed and went to the kitchenette where he made Kat a hearty sandwich, nearly thrice the size of a normal one. With the plate in one hand, he collected two cold brews and slowly began to make his way back.

Katarine Ryiah

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

"Never Hide Your Heart"
​

Katarine stepped out of the refresher with steam curling lazily after her, droplets of water still clinging to her shoulders and running down the length of her dark hair. She caught a towel from the rack and wrapped it securely around herself, tucking the edge beneath one arm before padding barefoot toward the bunks.

For the first time in what felt like forever, she actually felt clean.

It was strange how something so simple could make her feel almost human again.

She was halfway across the room when she stopped. There, neatly arranged on one of the bunks, was a set of clothes.

Her clothes.

Kat stared at them for several long seconds before her lips slowly curled into a small, almost disbelieving smile.

They were centuries old. They should have been dust by now, forgotten in some storage compartment or discarded along with a thousand other remnants of lives that no longer existed. Instead, they looked almost exactly as she remembered them. Perfectly preserved. Carefully kept.

Her fingers brushed over the fabric. Eli had kept them.All this time. Something warm fluttered painfully in her chest.

Of all the things he could have held onto, he had kept these. Something so mundane that anyone else might have thrown them away without a thought. Kat swallowed, suddenly feeling far more emotional about a pile of clothing than she had any right to.

Maybe it wasn't really about the clothes. Maybe it was what they meant. There had been a place for her here once, and apparently, some part of that place had been waiting for her to come back.

She blinked rapidly and cleared her throat, unwilling to let herself get ridiculous over a pair of pants.

"Get a grip, girl," she muttered.

Dropping the towel, she began to dress. The familiar clothes slipped onto her easily enough, though she noticed almost immediately that they didn't fit quite the way she remembered. The waistband sat looser around her hips. The shirt hung slightly where it once had fit more closely.

Kat frowned and tugged absently at the fabric. She knew why. She just didn't particularly enjoy admitting it. She hadn't been taking very good care of herself lately. Eating regularly had fallen somewhere near the bottom of a very long list of things she hadn't cared enough to bother with. Sleep wasn't much better. Neither was anything else, really. Deep down, she knew she'd gotten too thin. She'd noticed it before. She'd simply never cared enough to do anything about it. There hadn't seemed to be much reason to.

Until recently.

Her expression softened. Maybe that was changing too.

Kat finished pulling on her boots and ran her fingers through her damp hair, attempting to make herself look at least vaguely presentable. She was still fussing with the straps of her white tank top when she heard movement behind her.

She glanced over her shoulder as Eli entered. For a moment she simply looked at him, suddenly feeling strangely self-conscious.

Then a playful little smile crept across her face.

She turned toward him fully and spread her arms slightly, giving him the opportunity to take in the centuries-old outfit he had somehow managed to preserve.

"Well?" Her green eyes sparkled as she tilted her head. "How do I look?"

​

Ellion Corsair

 

[Ellion Corsair]

When he heard the door of the refresher open, he paused. They had seen enough of each other in various compromising positions, several they had made together. But to walk back there, knowing Kat was probably just in a towel, took considerably more nerve than he currently possessed. Oh, he wanted to join her, but a small sliver of decency held him near the kitchenette for several minutes.

He wondered if his holding on to her clothes was creepy. It had been a long time. But he couldn't have parted with her clothes any more than he could have parted with his ship. He wryly shook his head. Maybe he was just a sentimental fool in every sense of the word.

When he figured Kat had enough time to get dressed, he pissed from the wall and headed back to the bunks. As he came into view, he froze, eyes drinking in the view like a thirsty man in the desert. That familiar, playful smile crossed her face as she opened her arms, inviting him to take a long look, which he did.

"Well? How do I look?"

As if she didn't know. The plate of food in his hands was forgotten as his eyes ran from the soles of her boots, tracing where they wrapped around her calves, up to shapely thighs and curved hips, before traveling along the tank top to where her damp hair fell around her shoulders. And the light in her green eyes drew him in.

"Damn."

His lopsided grin came unbidden as he spoke without thinking. "I'm a fool. You are wearing entirely too much clothing. I should have left a handkerchief."

A flush of heat brought color to his cheeks. When was the last time that happened? Probably not since the last time she did. Unabashedly, he moved closer, the plate he extended offered with an unapologetic grin and mischief in his blue eyes.

"I figured you would be starving, sweetheart. You can have anything you want." The cocky pilot and mercenary he had once been still lived. "Or would you like a drink?" His other hand held out the cold brews.
Katarine Ryiah

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

"Never Hide Your Heart"

​

Katarine grinned and felt herself blush when he mentioned leaving her considerably less clothes. His lopsided grin made her heart skip, just like it had when they first met.

He offered her food, which she knew she should eat, but old habits died hard. She took the drink he offered and slipped off her boots so she could sit on the bunk and curl her knees up to her chest.

She felt awkward and shy suddenly, but also thrilled he was still here and that they were alone. Or as alone as they could be with the mad hatter in the ship.

“I can’t beive you kept all this stuff.” She smiled at him and moved her jacket indicating he should come sit next to her.

“Thank you.”


Ellion Corsair

 

[Ellion Corsair]

He grinned at the unspoken invitation. Setting the plate near her, in his own unspoken gesture that she should eat, he put his drink on the bed and turned toward one of the lockers. He slipped the shoulder holster from his torso and spoke over his shoulder as he hung it on one of the hooks.

"I couldn't get rid of it. It belonged to you, and as long as I kept it ... it felt like you were still with me. Just on a mission I couldn't follow."

His voice grew husky with the admission, the emotion clearly evident. Eli didn't want to revisit the lost years when he sat in the pilot's chair and spun it around to face the empty seat behind him. The ghost of Katarine walked the ship in memories. And it was the only thing that sustained him. There were a few times he had nearly lost all hope. Several times he almost went to Daxium, just to see her twin and pray he could feel her presence before the Sith Lord killed him. It was almost worth it.

Those few times, Muad stopped him. He reminded Eli that Kat was still alive and that she would come back one day. He owed the mad bastard several times over. Not that he'd willingly admit it. The thongs were loosened from the holsters tied low on his thighs, and he unbuckled the gun belt to hang next to his other weapons.

Turning back, he looked at the woman he was still in love with and gave her a small smile. And here she was, in the flesh, and he couldn't be happier for it. He moved to the bunk and pulled his own boots off before scooting back against the wall. He popped open his bottle and took a swig before moving his arm against hers, palm open and up, should she wish to take it.

"Katarine ... the galaxy isn't the same place it was when you went into stasis. Everything has changed. And nothing is as it should be." He let out a bark of laughter. "When Muad is on the side of the angels, nothing is right anymore."

Then he turned his head and looked at her. He could see the changes. She was thinner. Streaks of white had sprouted in her bangs. She had been captured and endured what the Dark Lord of the Sith had implanted in her. Eli knew... but he didn't care.

"This right here is right. You and me. We found each other in a time when the galaxy made sense. And now, in a crazy galaxy, this is the only thing that still makes sense. We followed one another through hells of our own choosing, hells of missions that left their mark, and the hells of family."

His thoughts turned to both Dax and Styx. The couple had survived so much before they lost one another and became lost because of it. But no more.

"This galaxy is now hell. It doesn't matter because I found you, princess. You're the only glimpse of heaven I need because this still makes sense. And I don't care what hells we have to go through; as long as we have each other, it will be worth it. I'm yours, for as long as you need me or want me. I love you, Katarine."

He noticed the untouched plate of food and his cocky grin returned.

"Now you better eat, or else I'll end up just holding you until we fall asleep."

Eli raised the bottle and took another swig. Their issues and the galaxy's problem could wait a few days. Neither were going to go anywhere. And neither was he.
Katarine Ryiah

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

"Never Hide Your Heart"​

Katarine was touched by his words. After all this time, after everything that had happened and every mistake she had made along the way, he still wanted her.

He was right. The galaxy was different now, darker than the one they had known together. The Sith held power, old certainties had crumbled, and entire lifetimes seemed to separate them from the people they had once been.

Somehow, none of it mattered.

For the first time in longer than she could remember, Katarine felt as though something in her life had finally fallen back into place. She had spent centuries believing death was the one thing even love could not overcome.

Apparently, she had been wrong. She would never doubt that again. Death could not kill true love. It could only delay it a for a while.

".....I'm yours, for as long as you need me or want me. I love you, Katarine."

A soft smile spread across her face. "Then you're going to be mine forever, because I never want you to go away again." She took his offered hand in both of hers and lifted it to her lips, brushing a gentle kiss across his knuckles before looking back at him.

"I love you too."

When he insisted that she eat, Katarine sighed dramatically. Releasing his hand felt strangely unfair after she'd only just gotten him back, but she obliged. She picked apart the sandwich, eating some of the vegetables and bits of bread rather than tackling the whole thing.

It wasn't much, but it was a start. The drink went down considerably easier, and every few moments she found herself glancing sideways at him with a ridiculous little grin before quickly looking away again.

It was absurd.

She felt like a bashful teenager.

Everything between them was somehow awkward and effortless at the same time. New, yet achingly familiar. Strange, yet more comfortable than anything had felt in centuries. She didn't know whether she wanted to laugh, cry, crawl into his arms, or simply stare at him to make certain he wasn't going to disappear again.

Also what exactly were they supposed to talk about?

So... What have you been doing for the last few tens of thousands of years?

The thought alone made her bite back a laugh. There really wasn't an etiquette guide for reuniting with the love of your life several millennia after both of you had been presumed dead at various points.

Katarine glanced at him again, amusement dancing in her green eyes.

"Sooo..." She drew the word out, fighting the grin threatening to take over her face. "Catch me up. Anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

Then she couldn't help it any longer. She was laughing. All of the emotions from the past few hours were bubbling up, and she was laughing at how ridiculous it all was and how happy she was.

Ellion Corsair

 

[Ellion Corsair]

"Then you're going to be mine forever, because I never want you to go away again."

"Yes, ma'am." His grin wasn't halfway. It stretched from ear to ear. Katarine wasn't the only one feeling as though she had a new lease on life. She was his first love. His only love. And he had waited centuries and centuries to have another shot, just a chance, to have that love with her again. Now that it was here, it was as fresh and new as their first time. Equal parts exhilarating and terrifying.

He swigged from his bottle as he watched her eat. Like a bird, but still she ate. It was odd, but he enjoyed watching her eat. Maybe it was something about having made the food for her with his own hands. Even if she dismantled the sandwich and only ate portions, his grin couldn't be contained, so he hid it behind the bottle as he took another drink. Once she was done, pushing the uneaten portions around, he took her plate and bent to set it on the ground.

Leaning back against her, he slipped his arm around her tiny frame and eased against her.

"Catch me up. Anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

And then she burst out in a peal of laughter. It was contagious, and he joined her. He laughed until tears were in his eyes. And when he finally caught his breath, he looked down into her green eyes and was caught by her beauty. Unaware of what he was doing, he leaned down, his free hand stroking her neck as he pressed his lips against hers. She tasted like vegetables, ale, and something sweet, like plums. The velvet skin of her lips was soft against his, and he wanted to deepen the kiss with roguish abandon. But he should probably give her time.

Reluctantly, he broke the tender kiss. "Ah, to hell with it." The rogue in him won out.

He pressed his lips back to capture hers, and his hand rose in her hair, fingers tightening in the long strands. His arm pulled her closer, and his lips parted.

"This is your captain speaking. We are approaching our destination. Hope y'all aren't sleeping. Or doing anything else that requires adult supervision. Captain Muad out."

Eli broke the kiss with a growl and closed his eyes.

"I'm going to kill him."
Katarine Ryiah