D E S T I N E D
Bastila’s breath caught in her throat when Quinn said those words. Her breath snagged like it had caught itself on a rock not because she hadn’t thought about it. No it caught because she had and she only just realised it.
Her hand tightened almost imperceptibly at Quinn’s waist, not in a possessive way, not quite; but it was definitely an attempt at grounding. Like she was anchoring herself before something reckless could surface.
For a flicker of a heartbeat, something warmer passed over her features. The feeling of want, desire and a reckless trait of throwing everything else under the speeder and being done with it. There was no innocence in the thoughts that passed over her.
Then as quickly as it came, something made it vanish.
Her gaze shifted, not away from Quinn, but it fell beyond her rather than onto her. Over her shoulder, past the glittering lights and slow-turning couples. The music softened, but that only seemed to make Bastila’s awareness sharpen.
Entrances. Balconies. Shadows near the pillars. Who was watching? Who was pretending not to. That one man who caught her eye, that concerned look from the woman near the bar, the hooded maybe Jedi ready to fall her story into the council.
When her eyes returned to Quinn, they were different. They weren’t cold, not at all. The affection was still there, the desire still present. It was just hidden behind something else, something guarded her suddenly.
“Quinn…” Her voice lowered, the softness edged now with warning. “I can’t…not here.”
Her thumb brushed against the fabric at Quinn’s back, the smallest, most absent motion, trying to add assurance to her words and then stilled as though she’d caught herself.
“I want…You have no idea how much. But not now.”
There it was. That subtle shift. The Jedi who survived the pirate holds. Senate traps. Assassins who smiled before they struck. That Bastila who they looked upon to be the next Jedi Hero of the order. The Bastila that resembled the Sal-Soren name outside of the family knowledge. The Bastila who could not afford herself happiness.
A small controlled exhale left her nose.
“Dancing with you is risky enough.” She whispered as if the words would break the world itself. There was no teasing in it. No intended banter. Just solid, painful truth.
Her eyes flicked once more around the hall before settling on Quinn again and this time the sadness in her eyes was unmistakable, even behind the guard of her Jedi self. There was actual fear there for herself and for Quinn.
“The Republic is more than what I can control.” Her jaw set faintly, maybe once upon a time if she had been made Queen of Naboo things would have been different, but her position as Sibylla’s handmaiden, Sibylla’s closeness to Aurelian, Bastila’s ties to the Senate through them both. The Republic would scapegoat her before she even knew what was happening. “They would smell blood in the water and they would destroy either one of us if they saw that look on your face.”
Her hand loosened, but she did not step away.
“I ask that you do not let go of that thought though Quinn,” she added quietly, something dangerous in her tone, something that belonged to neither Jedi nor noble, “You save it for when someone has no way of using it against you.”
Against us.
She didn’t say the last word.
But it was there.