When 820 years old you reach...

[Ben Corscifine]

The single sun of the Lothal system reached the peak of a nearby mountain range and began to disappear. It was evening on the planet which housed The Jedi Order's Temple and Academy, and a young padawan with brown hair was leaning against the entrance to the underground building. Ben Corscifine had finished all of his training and chores for the day. There was only one duty on his list, but Ben couldn't bring himself to see it as a chore. This was the evening designated for Ben to show a newer padawan, Quinn Colson, around the Temple and Academy.

Ben and Quinn were far from strangers, the two had had quite the ordeal together on the icy planet of Ilum. Without each other, surely that mission would have gone far worse for the both of them. Although his physical injuries had healed, there was a lot that happened on that day which Ben was not prepared to confront. He could hardly think on those events alone, let alone with another person present. This would be a much less intense encounter, surely good for the both of them.

At present, Ben leaned against the rocky entrance to the Temple, watching the Lothal sunset. This was the place at which he had elected to meet Quinn. She would be free of her duties soon, too, and would join him.

[member="Quinncolson"]

 

[Eli-Mae Forrest]

Quinn had just finished her training and chores when she was supposed to meet Ben the boy who had saved her life on Illum not to very long ago at that, that day Quinn had found even more power in the force than ever before and she had Ben to thank for that.

Though her powers in the force had grown, her physical abilities had been limited at least for a while. She had broken her leg during a fall trying to save Ben. She was on crutches for at least 6 weeks, they would be the toughest 6 weeks of her life. When she stepped out into the fading light of sunset she was amazed at its beauty but she could not linger on that fact she had a tour to take. With some difficulty she crutched her way to where she would meet Ben. She turned the corner and found herself face to face with Ben. "Why hello there."

[member="Ben Corscifine"]

 

[Ben Corscifine]

Quinn was inches from Ben's face. He had not seen or heard her coming, despite her being on crutches. It seemed as though he had simply turned and there she was, her purple eyes burning into his. He was startled momentarily, and flinched. She had a way of surprising him, this one. Quinn had been hurt pretty badly on Lothal, and Ben still regretted the fact that she was injured while the two were taking care of one another. Ben had walked away with an injury that a little Force healing could easily solve, but Quinn was stuck on crutches for a period of weeks. Ben was still trying to let go of the shame. Dwelling on it was not the Jedi way. Besides, despite her impediment, she gave off such a strong presence in the Force, Ben hardly knew she was even struggling.

Quinn was slightly older than Ben--well, not counting the 800 years she had spent frozen in carbonite, which was a story Ben had yet to investigate--but he nonetheless felt protective of the young, blond-haired woman. He knew attachment, too, was not the Jedi way.

He was working on it.

He really had no plan for this tour he was meant to give, but he had been at the Lothal Temple since it was constructed. He was confident that he could get Quinn up to speed on anything she wanted to know. She was a smart and self-sufficient girl, but jumping 800 years into the future had to be jarring for anyone.

"Hey, Quinn. How are you feeling?" Ben smiled, always more comfortable with a familiar face around.

[member="Quinncolson"]

 

[Eli-Mae Forrest]

When Ben flinched she backed up a little bit knowing she startled him. "I am doing well thank you." Since they had gotten back from Illum she had seen little from Ben but she could tell that he felt protective of her which she did not mind at all infact she enjoyed the attention which was probably not the jedi way but she didn't care.

She looked at Ben and then smiled. "Sign my cast?"

[member="Ben Corscifine"]

 

[Ben Corscifine]

A cast! Now, Ben hadn't seen a cast in a very long time. The fracture must have been very bad if there was no treating it any way but the natural way. He blushed a little; no one else had been asked to sign it yet, it seemed. The hard medical apparatus was still a pure white, like the snow on Ilum. Ben grinned. "Sure thing," he replied.

Ben got on one knee and pulled out his lightsaber, it shot to life in a brilliant emerald flash, and hummed softly in the evening air. Carefully, Ben touched the tip of the blade to the cast, which burned the topmost layer. He scrawled his name onto the cast in black ash, being gentle so as to avoid compromising the cast in any way. He admired his work and chuckled.

"Wouldn't want you to forget who gave you the broken leg," Ben winked as he got to his feet. "I know your mobility is a little compromised, so I won't torture you by dragging you all around the Temple today. Maybe we could just look at some of the above-ground installations." He added, glancing up at the radiant sunset, "It's a really pretty evening."

[member="Quinncolson"]

 

[Eli-Mae Forrest]

Quinn smiled as Ben signed his name on her cast. "Yes this sounds fun." She looked him in the eyes and resisted the urge to kiss him knowing it was against the code but she wanted to so bad. As she looked at his name she thought back to Illum when she repelled down that cliff to save him just for her rope to break and her leg along with it. She frowned at the thought

[member="Ben Corscifine"]

 

[Ben Corscifine]

Something was wrong here.

Not wrong like bad, but wrong like...wrong. Usually, Ben was bad with quieting his mind and hearing the Force speaking. He tended to fall back on his own judgments, the machinations of his dearly trusted mind. As the sun disappeared ocean-purple over the horizon, the Force was screaming at Ben. Quinn's eyes were right in his; they were purple and piercing and unavoidable.

Ben. Stop. Now.

Ben maintained his composure. He motioned to a hill near the entrance to the Academy. Beyond that hill there was the stone garden, where the Lothal temple had its Muntuur stones. Since ancient times, legend had it, Jedi had used these stones to train in telekinesis. Since Ben and Quinn had gotten injured searching for another set of sacred stones, Ben thought it a fitting first stop.

"Let's go check out some magic rocks!" Ben joked with a wide smile.

[member="Quinncolson"]

 

[Eli-Mae Forrest]

"Not again." Quinn says with a smile on her face. She stays there looking him in the eyes and she finally has to admit her admiration for him because he saved her life multiple times on Illum without him she wouldn't be here right now. The force was screaming at her to kiss him but she knows it would be against her vows.

"So shall we be going?"

[member="Ben Corscifine"]

 

[Ben Corscifine]

The tension was so thick between them it could be cut by a rogue breeze. Ben deactivated his lightsaber, which had still been humming, just to be safe. He was torn. So torn. Quinn was striking and strong and beautiful, and you can't come out from a near-death experience without feeling a sense of attachment to the person who helped you survive. But his pride, his self-obsession, and his attachment to personal achievements, relationships and belongings were his biggest obstacles in his training.

But Quinn was so hard to resist. She made Ben feel strong and important. She made Ben feel like he could stop the rotation of a planet by the force of his will. There was lightening in his blood when he looked into her eyes and touched her hands. He didn't realize he had been staring at her.

Ben didn't move.

"Yeah, let's go. I promise there won't be any cliffs this time. I checked." His voice dropped lower and lower as he spoke, his focus wandering.

[member="Quinncolson"]

 

[Eli-Mae Forrest]

"Great then." She reached down and picked his face up so she could look into his eyes. She didn't know what to do she was never very good with her emotions and it had only gotten worse since she came out of the carbonite but Ben made her feel like she could take on every sith ever by herself he made her feel special and she wanted to do something but she didn't know what to do so she moved a little closer to him.

[member="Ben Corscifine"]

 

[Ben Corscifine]

In his mind, Ben ran his fingers through Quinn's platinum hair and pulled her to him with all of his might. He wrapped her in his arms and held on to her tighter than he has clung to anything in his life. Her body was warm and her heart was beating and they were both young and alive and full of fire. She was not a woman from another time, not an ancient artifact to be studied, but a woman. Just a woman. Her eyes reflected everything there was to covet in the world, and the Force was with them both. They were part of something greater. Part of something, but they were the same part.

In his mind, his lips touched hers and that's all there was.

But Ben did not live in his mind. He lived in a world where those thoughts would make him weak, where those desires plagued his every attempt at improvement. He lived in a world where he had to move immediately, or he was going to make a massive mistake.

In his mind, he said Forget the tour. Forget the Order. Kiss me or I'm going to wither and die where I stand.

In the world they lived in, he said, "Well, we had better get a move on."

Ben turned and began to lead the way up the hill and into the stone garden.

[member="Quinncolson"]

 

[Eli-Mae Forrest]

Quinn saw how bad Ben wanted to kiss her but he couldn't do it and she understood that but still she really wanted it. She then followed Ben into the Garden and "accidentally" ran into him "Sorry" she said brushing her hair behind her ear.

[member="Ben Corscifine"]

 

[Ben Corscifine]

(OOC: I'm so sorry if that was unclear, but it was significant. Ben did not kiss Quinn in my last post. He just really wanted to. I don't know how you want to handle your last post, but that was a super significant detail of what just happened that I think I miscommunicated.)

It was clear to Ben that Quinn had wanted to kiss him, too. He didn't have to search his feelings or reach out to her through the Force to sense that she had had exactly the same vision of the pair of them. Ben had a theory that anytime you felt the urge to kiss a person, they felt it, too. Granted, he hadn't had much experience with that, except for a fellow Youngling on Ossus with whom Ben had promptly been separated. At fourteen Ben was curious and lacked self control. Today, it seems, he was managing better. Although he hadn't seemed to improve much.

With every step the pair took Ben was more conflicted internally. What was he to do? Recuse himself from his oh-so-important tour guide job? He couldn't stand to hurt Quinn. He didn't want her to feel rejected. They were nearing the stone garden, the first fraking stop and already Ben was out of control.

This isn't going to work, Ben. This isn't going to work.

His mind was racing, and he did not feel like much of a Jedi. It was like he couldn't quiet the voices in his head. The voices of his masters, of his desires, of Quinn. The crackling of a fire on Coruscant. The turmoil was so massive it was almost laughable. As the sun finished sinking and the sky grew dark, he must have been the most peaceless Jedi on Lothal.

[member="Quinncolson"]

 

[Eli-Mae Forrest]

"So what did you bring me up here for?" Quinn asked as she comes around in front of Ben she can tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted to kiss him so she took one step forward and then accidentally fell into him.

[member="Ben Corscifine"]

 

[Ben Corscifine]

[member="Quinncolson"]

Ben sensed Quinn's fall and jumped to catch her. His reflexes were improving; he caught Quinn and her crutches. No harm done. Still he was worried to have her so close to him. Her scent filled his nose and her body felt soft against his. Ben worked quickly to get Quinn to her feet.

He had brought her to the stone gardens simply to show her the Muntuur Stones and explain their purpose in their Jedi training, but he was concerned for the viability of this tour. He needed to be honest with Quinn about what was going on. Maybe if they discussed everything, they could come to an understanding.

Or maybe it would make things more complicated.

For now, Ben simply asked, "Are you sure you're alright to be moving around so much?"

 

[Eli-Mae Forrest]

"Im not sure but one thing I do know is I don't want you to leave." She stares at him and bites her lip trying to contain her temptations. But in her mind she moves into him holding him tight and staring into his beautiful light brown eyes. Then her lips meet his and the world melts away leaving nothing but him and her. She thought he is so beautiful. But in reality she was still standing there biting her lip.

[member="Ben Corscifine"]

 

[Ben Corscifine]

[member="Quinncolson"]

The Jedi had always taught Ben to search and trust his feelings. There seemed to be equal danger in denying the existence of his feelings as refusing to act upon them. It was too clear to Ben that he and Quinn faced the same struggle. It was Ben's duty to guide Quinn to a solution, for the both of them. He cleared his mind, and all that he could find was Quinn. No matter what decision he made, he would have to confront this.

Perhaps this was the lesson Ben had to learn from all of this: forbidden feelings must be faced. It was the Jedi way to release attachments, to relinquish possessions and fears, but a Jedi could not let go of something that he refused to admit he had in the first place. It was like meditation, where the practitioner is served equally poorly by working not to think as by actively pursuing thought.

But Ben was not very good at meditation.

It's time to trust that you can come out on the other side.

Trusting himself. Now that was something Ben usually had no trouble doing. It was lately, when trust in the Force and the Code had to come first, that Ben faced a real challenge. But, if his Masters knew anything, this crisis of faith would all be worth it. So long as Ben quieted his mind, and reached out.

He looked Quinn straight in her eyes and breathed softly.

Here goes nothing.

"Quinn," he began, "we need to talk about this..."

 

[Eli-Mae Forrest]

"I am all ears." Quinn says as she looks at him and realizes that she has fallen in love with him and she feared being heart broken

[member="Ben Corscifine"]

 

[Ben Corscifine]

Ben swallowed more than just a lump in his throat. He very rarely felt completely unable to find the right words, and it was even more rare that he was so concerned for how his every move and response would make the person with which he was conversing feel. Maybe the recent Jedi training was making him soft. After all, Ben was opening himself to the Force in ways that he hadn't in his eight years of training. This had to come with a sense of empathy for all things. The complication was separating personal feelings from the ebb and flow of the Force. A Jedi had to love all things in order to desire peace and balance across the galaxy.

Maybe that was the danger of personal attachment. If Ben allowed himself to love Quinn, it would take eclipse his love for the common good. But if Ben couldn't love her, how could he possibly love anything else?

The Force was complicated, and the Code required a lifetime of contemplation.

"Am I the only one who feels like something is going on between us? Something beyond being simply peers at the Temple? Something beyond a shared connection to the Force?"

He had turned white and he could feel his lips drying. What if he had been completely mistaken? How foolish would he look if Quinn had not spent even a moment in that thought?

Love was a path to fear, it seemed.

And fear...Ben knew what fear was a path to...

[member="Quinncolson"]

 

[Eli-Mae Forrest]

"No I feel it too." Quinn could feel the tension and didn't know what to do so she moved a little closer.

[member="Ben Corscifine"]