Private What's The Worst That Could Happen?

[Arlo Renard]

In the past, when presented with a new environment, Kai had been forced to use stealth, crawling through vents and such. But here aboard Tribunal Station, he had free rein to go wherever he pleased. Sneaking around was unnecessary.

With no restrictions on his movements, he quickly learned the layout of the grounds. The station was floating through space somewhere in the Outer Rim, far away and remote from the rest of the galaxy. He knew there were others around besides Asha—he could sense their presences in the Force—but he had yet to meet or interact with anyone besides the one who had brought him aboard.

As he sat in the mess hall, eating a lunch that could feed ten men, that was about to change.

Qae Shena​

 

[Qae Shena]

It was sort of hard to ignore Qae Shena. The blue fishman, who was currently walking with the assistance of a black walking stick looking thing-- rather gnarled was it, and certainly sometimes moved-- managed to get in the lunch queue. Truthfully, Qae was incredibly hungry. And, honestly, after coming back from Manaan, his hunger was very wild to keep up with; sometimes he could eat for a rancor and sometimes he could eat for a gizka. Between the two, it was all over the place, and there was no way he could predict it any longer.

So, he just picked up a small meal just in case. It wasn't exactly hard to get another one if he needed it, truthfully.

That said, he saw that a table had a spare seat and, figuring that he didn't mind sitting across from somebody, Qae took a seat across from Kai.

"Hey," Qae said to the one with a gigantic mountain of food. "You know what, I'll ask. Where you gonna put all that food? Do you just bulk like crazy?"

With a weirdly gravelly voice, Qae couldn't help but hide a grin as he looked down to eat the first mouthful of Patented Space Slop™.

 

[Arlo Renard]

Someone had taken a seat across from him. Kai didn’t bother to look up at first, but then the person started talking. Their voice was low and gravelly, strange and sharp on the ears.

With a mouth full of food, Kai raised his head. The individual belonged to a fishlike species, similar to a Nautolan, but not quite the same. Kai blinked at his question, his gaze wandering down to the space slop on the fishman’s tray.

<I have a bigger stomach than you think,> he replied telepathically, still eating. His metabolism and appetite were in some ways pretty absurd, requiring him to either eat almost constantly or gorge himself to avoid hunger pains. In a pinch, he could wolf down the entire contents of a tray, swallowing it all whole and letting his unique physiology break it down. But he’d found that most people, humans and near-humans especially, found this incredibly off-putting, so he avoided doing it in public spaces like the mess.

Besides, it was healthier to eat slowly and chew your food.

He nodded to the stranger's slop. <That looks very… nutritious.>

Qae Shena​

 

[Qae Shena]

The sudden appearance of a voice in Qae's head was not the first time it had happened in recent memory, but the fact was that he was never ever really going to get used to people who used that as a primary method of communication. Asha had done it, of course, when he had been reduced to barely functional physical speech so that she could at least get inside his head and save his ass. However, when it came to something like this-- now that he was almost sort of normal again-- it was just a strange time all around.

"Eh. Could be worse. I'm sure I could be eating bantha- well, let's not go there, I still need a stomach for this mess," the Nautolan grumbled, before taking a spoonful of the grey gruel. It wasn't ideal, no. He cringed as it went down his throat, knowing full well that he'd have to get used to tasting things again.

"Honestly, didn't wanna assume about you, though. Not my place to go 'hey, why's that guy eating all that food', because I don't wanna say a dumb thing that deserves to get my ass kicked."

Pause.

"Anyways, I'm Qae. Pleasure's mine, considering I've only talked to maybe three people or so in Life Round Two."

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

The fishman certainly didn’t look pleased to be eating the slop, but it was probably a necessary thing for his health. Kai was glad he had yet to know the feeling of only being able to eat nutrient paste.

As for making assumptions about people, Kai wasn’t about to wax poetic on the subject.

<Ander,> he introduced himself with the name he’d been using since his arrival at Tribunal Station. Qae said something next that caused his brow to furrow. <Life Round Two?>

Qae Shena​

 

[Qae Shena]

"Nice to meet you, Ander," Qae said, looking down at his Nutrient Paste™ and sighing a little. The joys of still recovering from a whole bunch of pain and murder.

"Yeah, look, full disclosure, don't die," Qae added with a cheeky grin. "Mildly painful. Very inconvenient. Zero-star review. Couple more weeks I'll be back on my feet properly, but I'm gonna have to eat this a bit more until everything is working peoperly. It's not ideal. Do not recommend."

The fish man leaned back in his seat.

"So, here we are, living life again, and trying not to mess it up. Seems reasonable, even if I feel five times my age."

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

<You came back from the dead?> Kai blinked. <How?>

Perhaps he was prying too much, but curiosity won out. <How old are you? How long were you dead for? How did you die?>

Qae Shena​

 

[Qae Shena]

”Alright. Buckle up. This gets a little wild,” Qae said, leaning back in his seat with one last spoonful of Grey Goop™. It was going to be a doozy of a story, and honestly, he didn’t mind sharing it. There was nothing wrong with having experiences and being able to pass them on to others so that they could learn from it.

”So… I died when I was about twenty eight,” Qae began, thinking carefully about how to relate this time. ”Back in the day, the One SIth as they were then known, decided to engage the Republic world of Manaan. You know the one - big water world, kolto production - I was there as a favour to a friend of mine who ran a company named Silk Holdings. When they attacked, it got nasty. We thought they were going to start sinking civilian cities. You know how Sith get when someone pees in their sandbox.”

”Then… an Orcus turns up. Big powerful Sith Lord. Don’t know his name. I might have attempted to water-shape his blood so that he died. Didn’t quite work, because as soon as I got a water bubble shield up, he hit me with a sonic wave. Over-pressure ruptured my organs.”

It sounded nasty. The pain was worse.

”I was dying. My Master managed to find me just in time and tried to save me, but it didn’t work. So she cast my body into the depths of the ocean. Whatever she did, though, was enough to preserve my body and my spirit… for twenty years. And then Asha Version Two turns up, finds my mildly dessicated not-quite-corpse on a beach, and pulls me back from the brink. Couple weeks later, here I am. Limping like an old man, but very much alive, I assure you.”

Qae paused in reflection for a moment. ”Just so you know, dying sucks. Even when you aren’t properly dead.”

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

Kai actually didn't seem all that surprised or shocked by the story of Qae's demise, long aquatic stasis, or subsequent resurrection. His curiosity, however, had reached critical levels. He was fully fixated on Qae now, his feast forgotten.

<Were you aware while you were preserved, or was it like a deep sleep? And why do you call her Asha Version Two—is the one here on the station a clone or something?>

Qae Shena​

 

[Qae Shena]

Qae had to laugh a little, truthfully. This was bringing up memories. Lots of them, not all of them pleasant, and some of them more ancient than the tides themselves. "I experienced it as an incredible slowing of time. Beyond my wildest dreams of slowness. Perhaps it was the fact that my Master tried to save me, but I did not quite see things the way I would have normally. Perhaps I was simply experiencing eternal free-fall. But I knew the Netherwold was calling me, and the Dreaming Dark beyond it. It was... an experience. One I do not wish to ever repeat."

However, to the question of Asha, Qae seemed to suddenly turn dour. "Asha is the second of her name," he told the being going by Ander. "They aren't related by blood, though. The original Asha, Asha Seren, was a very good friend of mine. And one of my first Je'daii."

He sighed. "Don't get me wrong. This Asha has done wonderful things in keeping my Order alive for me. She has done things that I would not have ever expected in the time I have gone. I merely miss the people I love."

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

Listening to Qae's description of an eternal freefall, Kai couldn't help but compare his own experiences to it—though just thinking about dying caused the boy to grow rather subdued. Still, he responded to the fishman's assessment with solemn agreement. <Sounds about right. I "died" twice myself, only I didn't feel myself falling or departing so much as melting back into the Force.>

The clarification on Asha's name brought the topic of conversation to the Je'daii. His arms crossed on the table, Kai leaned a little toward Qae. <Okay good, okay fine. What is the Je'daii Order? What do you guys do out here? What's the difference between you and the Jedi?>

Qae Shena​

 

[Qae Shena]

"Melting is unfortunately a good word for it," Qae grumbled. It was. Better than his choice of words, certainly, for Qae was not the most verbally-proficient person.

In short: fish man did punch goodly.

"So let's answer that in order, because one question sort of answers another," Qae began, preparing to deliver the short version of the deep lore lecture that he had prepared many, many, many years ago. "Tens of thousands of years ago, on the planet Tython in the Deep Core, the Je'daii Order was formed - Ashla, the light, and Bogan, the dark, were modelled after the twin moons of the planet, who caused great cataclysms if they weren't balanced. So too did the Je'daii Order believe that dark and light had to be in balance - a concept called Bendu. Skip forward a few thousand years, and there was a schism between dark and light believers - light won, and they reformed to become the Jedi Order."

Qae leaned back in his sea. "Truth told, what we do is... whatever. We don't exactly have an agenda. We're here for knowledge and to improve ourselves as people, more than we are here to have some kind of grand crusade. Playing grand galactic politics isn't our deal. We aren't as self-important as the Jedi ever were."

An unfortunate truth, but the reality of that particular situation was unmistakeable; the Silver Jedi-- which Qae had played a part in forming-- were now a galactic power. The Ashlan Crusade, or whatever they were calling themselves, pissed Qae off to no end, for a number of reasons. Both of them were Jedi deviations, and they were both doing the one thing that Jedi were not supposed to do - playing political games. They were supposed to be neutral but friendly parties, which they certainly were not. The fact that these two groups were being major powers meant that they had turned their backs on what it meant to be Jedi.

This was precisely why Qae had turned his back on the Jedi himself, and sought the knowledge of ancient Je'daii. And he'd found it. More than he'd bargained for.

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

Kai listened intently to Qae’s explanations. The Je’daii Order laid claim to having come first, and it seemed they viewed both the Jedi and the Sith ways as heretical perversions originating from historical schisms. Kai himself was a product of the duality of the Force in a very literal way, being a Sithspawn who was once pure. He had been seeking some reconciliation between his two halves ever since. Perhaps the Je’daii could offer such.

But he didn’t want to be too hasty about switching allegiances, not until he knew more. <So, you’re less a Knightly Order, and more like a religion?> he asked tentatively. <And do the Je’daii… study the Dark Side, or do they practice it? Actually, do you even believe in the Dark and the Light Sides of the Force, or is it all just the Force to you?>

What he was eventually hoping to inch towards was the topic of alchemy—whether they would accept a Sithspawn among their ranks, whether they allowed for the creation of creatures like him, and so on.

Qae Shena​

 

[Qae Shena]

"I hate the word religion, but you're right," Qae had to admit. He really did hate the term religion, but there was no helping it now. "I consider it a way of philosophy. Or at least that's the way I use it. Sure, I keep the lore, and I'm supposed to be big bad boss fish that came before the kidlets, but real talk I'm just a guy who believes a certain thing."

As for the rest?

"The Force is the Force, really. We definitely study both. However, as far as I see it, we don't 'practise' Light or Dark the way the Sith and Jedi do. We practise it all, and the darkness and light is within ourselves to temper and execute. Does the Force have definitive Light and Dark Sides? Yes. But, water in a glass is still water in a glass no matter how much red or blue food colouring you put in it."

The Nautolan laughed. "So, no, no practising baby murdering cult stuff for us. It sounds odd, but I assure you the Sith have done it. One bragged about it once."

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

Kai supposed philosophy was the better term to describe the Je’daii as Qae described them. Philosophers and the faithful typically weren’t called upon to fight in wars the way knights or warriors were. <Do the Je’daii ever fight, then?> Kai asked. It sounded like a silly question, since Qae had mentioned he’d died in a battle against a Sith Lord. Kai quickly tried to clarify what he really meant. <I mean, the Jedi believe it is their moral duty to protect the innocent and defend the weak. But the Je’daii have no such obligation, right? So how many Je’daii actually go to war, or spend their lives protecting and defending?>

By the time Qae got to talking about “baby murdering cult stuff”, Kai had become increasingly reserved. He knew he’d be accepted here. Asha’s reaction to his presence in the forest had made that much clear from the very beginning. In fact, every Sithspawn in the Sanctorium could probably find a home here at Tribunal Station. He thought particularly of Damsy Callat , the Sanctorium’s leader, and how she had given up on trying to be a Jedi. Perhaps she should’ve become a Je’daii instead.

But Kai’s view was far more complicated than simply escaping persecution. He couldn’t abide alchemy or the practice of the Dark Side in any form. That fact had already driven a wedge between him and his fellow Sithspawn—though his love for them had kept the worst of his self-hatred at bay, he still believed the manner and method of their creation was unnatural, and therefore inherently anti-life and a perversion of the Force. The notion of Dark and Light being practiced simultaneously did not make sense to him, or worse, it sounded like a misleading lie. Call him narrow-minded or indoctrinated, but to Kai, Qae’s words rang false.

<Then you believe it is up to the individual to decide the right or wrong application of the Force?> he asked, keeping these growing doubts to himself. <Just as long as it doesn’t break any laws?>

Qae Shena​

 

[Qae Shena]

Qae had to suppress a laugh. Oh, how ironic that question was-- the answer to that particular question was precisely what got him killed in the first place. "Yes, we fight. Perhaps not on a grand galactic scale, but we certainly aren't just pacifists like the Jedi pretend they are. We fight when necessary-- if someone was going to mug you on the street, for instance, I wouldn't hesitate to step in and help. I'm not about to get into a war again, though. We're not a military unit. We don't act like it. I made that mistake on a personal level once and I paid the price. For my money, the answer here is just do the right thing."

What constituted the right thing tended to differ from person to person, but Qae always made the effort to instill in his students a good sense of the right thing being more along the protect the innocent and meek lines. It was far easier, far kinder, to play that way, and it usually made the Galaxy a better place. But no wars. The Je'daii did not fight in wars. How could they? There was, what, like, eight of them?

However, the second question was very clearly loaded and Qae was going to hae to take his time with it, put this one's mind at ease. Ander's uncertainty rang true and Qae needed to find the right answer. "To a certain extent, yes. That line should in theory end well before the law, but as we all know in this Galaxy, not everyone plays by the rules all the time. In a perfect world, we seek harmony and balance and honesty and to help people where we can. After all, we call our students Journeyers and Rangers-- they go out, see the world, and learn these lessons by living life, and should they fail to temper themselves, then they fail, though that is as much a reflection on the teacher's failings as it is a student's," Qae explained. The unease here was palpable.

His hands folded in front of him. "Being a Je'daii is a very personal journey. Balance in the Force means that you see and understand both sides but choose to act the way you do. I hope that, through what I have taught-- and what my students have taught in my absence-- that doing the morally correct thing is the right way to conduct yourself. Don't be a dick is one of the best rules in life, as far as I'm concerned."

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

<That answer is too simple,> Kai replied, shaking his head. <People don’t always agree on what is “right”. That’s what causes conflicts, most of the time.>

Qae seemed to acknowledge this, but still stressed doing the morally correct thing and simply “not being a dick”. Kai found himself sighing, a feeling of moroseness coming over him. He picked at his food, resuming eating.

<Is there a Je’daii Code, then?>

Qae Shena​

 

[Qae Shena]

"But that's exactly the trick," Qae said. "It really is subjective. And I accept that. I have my own version of right and wrong, and I'm not stupid enough to try and proselytize you on what 'right' is. It's pretty basic human goodness, as far as I hope. That's really the best I can do. I'm not so egotistical to claim that I'm perfect... or even that my way's the right way."

The request for the Code made him smile. "There certainly is. Now, it's real similar to the old Jedi Code... for good reason, considering they were Je'daii first, so don't be surprised if it sounds familiar-- if you know it at all-- but here it is."

Deep breath. He hadn't said this in twenty years.

"There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no fear, there is power. I am the heart of the Force. I am the revealing fire of light. I am the mystery of darkness. In balance with chaos and harmony, immortal in the Force."

A chuckle. "Well. Guess I did kinda pass the immortal test once, huh."

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

Kai listened to the Je’daii Code. It was indeed similar to older versions of the Jedi Code, with a few key differences, like the emphasis on power as a deterrent to fear. <How do you find a balance being between chaos and harmony?> he asked. <Isn’t harmony almost the same thing as balance, or at least very similar?>

He was starting to become lost in thought again. Pausing, Kai nodded his head. <You’ve given me a lot to think about. I’m going to need some time to process it all.>

The doppelganger still wasn’t certain if this was where he belonged. He supposed he might one day become a wandering knight, going wherever the road took him. That was all right, but having a home to come back to was nice, wasn’t it?...

Qae Shena​

 

[Qae Shena]

"Depends on where you place your harmony and balance at the time," Qae offered. "I can be at harmony with the people around me and personally completely out of balance. It's balance in many things, but also it's meant to represent the fact that we cannot be entirely partial to a single side. Expose yourself to knowledge, to feeling, to understanding - after all, if I could not understand why someone was experiencing personal chaos, I couldn't help them get back to a sense of harmony."

However, Qae nodded. "Good. I'm aboard the station, and I'm not fast to run off. If you got more questions, come find me. Or Asha Hex. She's good people too."