Private We’re Improvising Now

[Xian Xiao]

Xian noticed the shift in him the moment she stepped closer, even though Jerrik was doing an admirable job pretending nothing at all had changed. There was a faint tension in the way he carried himself now, something balanced between nerves and excitement, and for once she chose not to tease him too sharply about it. Mostly because she could feel some version of it settling into her own chest as well.

The warmth between them was still unfamiliar, still something she hadn't quite learned how to navigate, yet she found she didn't want to step away from it either.

His promise to behave earned a soft snort as she followed him toward the exit. "I don't believe that for a second," she said, her voice dry but undeniably amused. "Your definition of 'good behavior' probably just means fewer explosions than usual."

The faint smile tugging at her mouth stayed with her as they moved through the ship together, a quiet thread of ease weaving itself through the space between them.

When he asked who was flying, she immediately raised an eyebrow. "You are absolutely not flying if we're going to Coruscant," she said without hesitation. "You'd get distracted trying to do something dramatic over the skyline and crash us into a Senate tower."

She brushed past him lightly as they stepped into the cockpit, dropping into the pilot's chair with the kind of familiarity that came from years of cramped ships and long jumps through hyperspace. The controls flickered awake beneath her hands, the hum of the systems spreading through the cockpit like a slow exhale.

Coruscant.

The word alone stirred something complicated in her. It was nostalgia threaded with exhaustion, curiosity tangled with the quiet ache of returning to a place she no longer belonged in the same way she once had.

As Jerrik talked about cantinas and taking a breath before diving back into ancient Sith worlds and questionable decisions, Xian leaned back slightly, glancing toward him as the cockpit lights softened across her features.

"You know," she said, her tone thoughtful in a way that felt new even to her, "a few months ago I probably would've said stopping to relax was irresponsible." Her fingers moved across the startup controls almost absently. "Now I'm starting to think throwing ourselves into increasingly terrible situations without ever stopping to breathe might actually be the irresponsible part."

The engines began to warm beneath the deck, vibrations humming steadily upward as the ship came fully alive. Her gaze drifted toward the viewport, then back to him again, softer now.

"Coruscant sounds good," she admitted quietly. "Crowded enough that no one pays attention to two more people walking into a cantina, and loud enough that we can disappear for a night if we want to."

A faint smile curved at the corner of her mouth. "And if the music's terrible, I can watch you suffer through pretending to enjoy it."

There was warmth in the tease, easy and unforced, and for a moment she simply looked at him across the cockpit, the future ahead of them uncertain in every direction, yet somehow less frightening than it used to be. Not safe. Not stable. But theirs.

She turned back to the controls, fingers settling around the throttle as the hangar lights reflected across the viewport.

"Alright," she said softly, anticipation threading into her voice as the ship prepared to lift. "Let's go see what kind of trouble Coruscant still remembers how to cause."

Jerrik Molten

 

[Jerrik Molten]

Once Xian brushed against him lightly, as she walked by to sit in the pilot’s chair, he took a moment to recover, feeling weak in the knees, but he continued until they both were inside the cockpit of the ship. Jerrik didn’t forget to respond to Xian teasing him some, he just waited until they were both seated to respond. "No explosions, I promise." His words were sincere and calm. The young man looked over at Xian with a faint smile, yet it was innocent in a way, almost playful to ensure she knew he was trying to speak the truth.

Coruscant was unfamiliar to Jerrik, even with his Jedi past, the young man knew very little about the planet itself. But he wasn’t going for a mission, no. Instead, Jerrik felt like they deserved a little time off before they would agree on their next mission. Credits at this point were not an issue at all, because both Xian and Jerrik cashed in recently on a mission that ended with a dead Mandalorian. The mission didn’t go as they pleased, but the duo managed to escape and make a small chunk of credits in the process of it all. Now they had time to recharge what energy they used, while having a good time in the end.

"Coruscant, yes. You’d think with the training I was given, I would know a little more about this place. I’m glad you’re flying, anyways, I would have most likely fell asleep." He chuckled lightly, leaning back in the seat to get more comfortable. "What about you? Happen to know anything special about this place, besides the typical jedi crap?" Jerrik added, wondering if this planet had any sentiment with Xian. Even if there was nothing attracting them to the planet, it would be fun for them to actually spend some time together, where they aren’t in combat, or trying to save one another’s ass.

The ship roared to life, nearly silent in its ascendance, but Jerrik could hear it clear as day, especially with the force surrounding him and Xian both simultaneously. The young man stretched his arms into the air, letting out a long yawn in the process. "Trouble sounds good, but only because you are there with me causing it." He responded playfully, placing both arms down on the rest of the chair, while watching the ship float up just until it was high enough off the ground, then it shot forward, and eventually headed towards the atmosphere of the planet.

Xian Xiao​

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian settled comfortably into the pilot's chair as the ship climbed through the atmosphere, the controls responding with the kind of familiar precision that always grounded her more effectively than any temple lesson ever had. City lights and cloud cover fell away behind them in slow, glowing layers, and the low hum of the engines filled the cockpit with a calm she trusted far more than any place where people tried to decide who she was supposed to become.

When Jerrik promised there would be no explosions, she gave him a sideways look that carried immediate suspicion. "You saying that out loud somehow makes me less confident," she said, her tone dry but softened by the quiet amusement threading through it. The innocence on his face did nothing to reassure her; if anything, it made him look even more likely to stumble into trouble by accident.

Still, as the ship pushed higher into open space and the route to Coruscant locked into the navigation system, she felt herself relaxing more than she expected. Maybe it was the simple relief of movement, the sense of heading somewhere that wasn't tied to a desperate escape or a mission that could get them both killed. Or maybe she had simply grown used to him being there beside her, his presence settling into her awareness in a way that no longer felt intrusive.

The thought lingered quietly while she guided the ship onto course.

At the mention of Jedi training, the corner of her mouth lifted. "That's because Jedi are terrible at teaching people how to actually live anywhere," she said. "They'll give you fifty philosophical warnings about attachment before they bother explaining where to find decent food."

Stars stretched long across the viewport as she adjusted the controls, her voice softening as old memories surfaced. "I grew up on Coruscant before all of this. Mostly the lower levels. Not the glamorous parts people like to put in holovids." Her expression shifted, touched by something distant but not unwelcome. "It never really sleeps. Doesn't matter the hour: there's always traffic, noise, music, someone trying to sell you something, someone trying to scam you, a fight in an alley, a performer two streets over acting like they're about to become famous."

Despite herself, there was warmth in the way she described it. "You can disappear there if you want to. Nobody pays attention unless you give them a reason."

Her eyes flicked toward him, the tease slipping in easily. "Which means you specifically are going to need supervision."

When he said trouble sounded better because she would be there too, something tightened softly in her chest, not painful, just unfamiliar, like a door she hadn't realized she'd left unlocked. She looked back toward the stars, letting the hum of hyperspace preparations fill the quiet between them before she finally exhaled.

"You know," she said, her voice thoughtful in a way she didn't entirely try to hide, "I think this might be the first time in a while I've actually looked forward to arriving somewhere."

The honesty slipped out before she could stop it, but once spoken, she didn't take it back. Her fingers rested lightly on the controls as the ship drifted into open space, Coruscant waiting somewhere ahead beneath endless layers of lights and noise and possibility.

"And before you ask," she added, the faintest smile returning to her voice, "no, I am not letting you pick the cantina."

Jerrik Molten

 

[Jerrik Molten]

Once the navigation systems locked onto their destination, the ship felt almost like some sort of rollercoaster, pushing you back into the seat, but that only lasted a few short seconds until everything stabilized, and the ship jumped on its course for Planet Coruscant. Jerrik didn’t ignore the comment from Xian about his response about explosions, he simply laughed it off, even though a part of him didn’t know what to expect on Coruscant, but the fact that Xian would be there with him made the whole idea settle more comfortably within.

As Xian responded to Jerrik’s comment about Coruscant, the young man listened carefully to what she was telling him. This planet was a place Xian knew about all too well, as to where Jerrik knew very little about it, which would mean that he would lean on Xian for guidance once more. Did this bother him, having to rely on others for help, even when it wasn’t necessarily needed? No, Jerrik had no issue with the help and guidance of Xian because their bond was much bigger than that. He didn’t feel like he was using her, rather them guiding one another along on their journey through the galaxy. "Screw the Jedi and everything they stand for. Coruscant sounds like the perfect place to get lost for a bit, though. But hey, good thing you will be there to keep me in line." He replied, laughing slightly at the realism in his response.

When the ship was preparing for hyperspace to launch them toward Coruscant in little time at all, Xian mentioned how they looked forward to something for the first time in a while. Jerrik tried to hide the smile, but he couldn’t hold it back any longer. Before he could even respond to what she said, Xian instantly thought that Jerrik was going to suggest some ridiculous cantina for them to enjoy themselves. But nope, that was not the case at all. Jerrik didn’t know anything about this planet, so he was going to allow Xian to choose every location, as long as they would keep a low profile in the process. "Honestly, I wasn’t even going to suggest that. I thought that maybe you could take the lead for the evening. Whatever it takes to make sure we are ready for the next mission." He explained, while glancing over at the woman every so often as he spoke.

Xian Xiao​

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian settled back into the pilot's chair as the stars stretched into brilliant lines and collapsed into the blue of hyperspace. One hand rested lightly on the controls, the hum of the ship settling into her bones in a way that felt familiar. She listened to Jerrik talk, a faint smile appearing when he dismissed the Jedi with casual confidence. "You say that now," she murmured, glancing sideways at him. "Give it a few hours on Coruscant, and you'll be complaining about traffic, regulations, security checkpoints, and whoever thought building a planet-sized city was a practical idea." There was quiet amusement in her voice, the kind born from long experience. Coruscant exhausted everyone eventually.

When he admitted he wanted her to take the lead for the evening, her black eyes lingered on him before returning to the viewport. "That sounds suspiciously like responsibility. And before you forget, this was your idea. You picked Coruscant." A small smile tugged at her mouth. "Which means if the evening goes terribly wrong, at least half the blame belongs to you." She shifted in her seat, more relaxed now that the ship was underway. The truth was, she knew Coruscant well. Ten years was long enough to learn its shortcuts, its shadows, and its neighborhoods that changed names every few years but never changed anything else. "I spent most of my life there," she said. "Not sightseeing. But enough to know my way around."

Her gaze drifted toward the swirling blue of hyperspace. "It's different now. Sith banners instead of Republic ones. Different people giving orders. Different people pretending they're in control." A small shrug followed. "Coruscant survives all of them." For a moment, she was quiet, then she looked back at him. "Honestly, I don't have some grand plan. I just want a decent meal, a place where nobody recognizes us, and one evening where neither of us has to worry about being shot at." Her expression turned thoughtful. "That shouldn't be impossible. Statistically." Which was not the reassurance it might have been intended to be.

She folded her arms loosely and leaned back. "So that's the plan. Food. Something interesting. And then we avoid attracting the attention of Sith, criminals, bounty hunters, local security, or anyone else likely to complicate our lives." Her eyes slid toward him again, a faint grin forming. "I realize that last one mostly applies to you." The teasing was unmistakable, but so was the warmth beneath it.

Jerrik Molten

 

[Jerrik Molten]

The very moment Xian mentioned security checkpoints as something he may complain about, the young man snapped his neck sideways to stare down the woman piloting the ship. "What the hell, Xi! That means I have to keep nearly everything I own on this ship." He complained, shaking their head in the process, while rolling their eyes, and looking back at the view in front of him. There was no doubt in Jerrik’s mind that something would eventually go wrong throughout the night, but he would still try their best to be on his bestest behavior.

As Xian spoke of Coruscant and what it looks like now, Jerrik let out a slight sigh of relief. With the plant being in control by the Sith, this would give him a better chance at blending in, while also bringing a higher chance of some sort of trouble coming their way. "Then it should be relatively easy to stay out of trouble." He responded with a bit more enthusiasm this time. There was still some anger in their voice, but the moment Xian brought up how she wanted the night to go, he instantly felt the anger lift free, almost as if the thought of a relaxing night with her caused him to change moods.

Before he could reply to Xian’s idea of a good time off, she began to list off everything to do, then she ended it with a quirky poke at the young man. He looked over and made eye contact with the woman for a slight moment, before Jerrik finally responded. "There’s only one thing I can think of that might complicate things, but I want to keep that to myself for now. I don’t want to jinx anything." He said in a warm, yet teasing tone of voice. There was something about Xian that kept him in check, and he had no idea what it was, but the fact that she was able to keep him calm in nearly every situation, was another reason why the young man felt such an attachment to her.

While the ship continued in hyperspace, Jerrik looked forward once more before speaking to Xian. "You said that you spent most of your life on Coruscant. When was the last time you actually visited?" He asked curiously, trying to pass time as they waited for the ship to make its way to Coruscant. Jerrik was genuinely enjoying this time chatting with Xian. It was much better than chatting on the run, especially when it was them running for their lives because of something Jerrik did.

Xian Xiao​

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian couldn't help the small laugh that escaped when Jerrik immediately objected to the idea of security checkpoints. The reaction had been so immediate, so personally offended, that it was impossible not to find it amusing. "See?" she said, glancing toward him with a faint grin. "You're already complaining and we haven't even arrived yet." There was a quiet satisfaction in her voice before she returned her attention to the controls. His protests about leaving most of his belongings on the ship only reinforced her point. Coruscant had always been good at finding new and creative ways to inconvenience people.

When he mentioned there being one thing that might complicate the evening but refused to elaborate, her eyes narrowed slightly. "That's concerning," she informed him. "People only say things like that right before the complication happens." Despite the warning, she let the matter drop. If Jerrik wanted to keep his mysterious prediction to himself for now, she wasn't going to pry. Not yet. Experience had taught her that if trouble was coming, it usually introduced itself eventually.

His question about Coruscant pulled her thoughts elsewhere. For a few moments, she watched the endless blue currents of hyperspace beyond the viewport before answering. "Six years ago," she said quietly. "That was when a Jedi discovered me and took me away." There wasn't any bitterness in her voice, only the simple acknowledgment of a moment that had divided her life into before and after. "I grew up in an orphanage on Coruscant after my parents died. That's where I spent most of my childhood. I was actually born on Castell, but I don't remember much of it. Coruscant is the place I remember."

The words lingered between them for a moment as she sat back in her chair. It felt strange talking about it. Not uncomfortable, just unfamiliar. They had spent so much time surviving together, running from danger, chasing credits, and figuring out the next move that neither of them had spent much time talking about where they had come from. Somewhere along the way, knowing how the other person fought had become more important than knowing where they were born.

Her black eyes shifted toward him again, a faint smile returning to her face. "Funny, isn't it?" she asked. "We've crossed half the galaxy together, nearly gotten ourselves killed more than once, and I still don't actually know much about you." She tilted her head slightly, genuine curiosity replacing the earlier teasing. "What about you? Where are you from?"

Jerrik Molten

 

[Jerrik Molten]

Jerrik Molten continued to lean back in the seat, listening to Xian reply about the young man already complaining. It caused him to smirk, yet he glanced at Xian with a nod before speaking. "Fair enough." He said flatly, while turning his attention back to the viewport with the thought of Coruscant on his mind. What was to come, Jerrik really had no idea of that at all, but he was prepared to settle down and let loose for a single night. This wasn’t something he normally did because Jerrik remained on the move most of the time, worrying about what job was next, and how many credits were at stake.

His thoughts shifted as Xian began to explain Coruscant, and how she remembered it more than the planet that she grew up on. He didn’t respond right away because there was too much similarity to what he went through years ago. Instead, Jerrik remained quiet, staring through the window with thoughts of their past breaching his mind, pulling him into what seemed like a movie in their mind of what the Jedi caused him to become. It was short lived because the sound of Xian’s voice pulled him out of the memories that haunted him, then he looked her way, and finally let a faint smile appear.

Coruscant was their next move, but they were still in hyperspace, so it was only right that the duo began to open up on a personal level, getting to know one another more so than just the way they handle things on a mission. The fact that Xian wanted to know more about him had the young man more than happy to open up, even if it would bring back the fear and hatred that came with the story. "Hm, there is so much, where should I begin?" He spoke calmly, but with a nervous tone trailing his words. Jerrik had no idea where to begin or how to fully open up to Xian, but he also knew that if he didn’t do it now, then it would most likely never happen.

The silence only lasted a few seconds before Jerrik finally began to respond to Xian’s question. "Oddly as it sounds, I was born on Kashyyyk. My parents were mere traders on the planet, selling crops from the small farm they grew on a yearly basis. I don’t remember them too much, but I do remember their deaths." He paused for a moment, looking straight at Xian with a blank expression, almost as if the sadness was beginning to push down on the young man.

Instead of allowing those emotions to consume him in that moment, he smiled wide to push whatever he was feeling aside for the time being. "A Bounty Hunter misidentified my mother for a criminal and my father stepped in the way to save her life from blaster fire. Unfortunately, the blaster bolt pierced through my father and hit my mother as well. Double kill." He finished speaking for a moment to allow it all to settle in. It was something Jerrik dealt with on a daily basis, but that wasn’t the thing that caused most of his trauma. It was his time after their deaths that haunted him.

As Jerrik turned to face the viewport once more, he stopped smiling and started to speak again. "After that, there was a Jedi who found me nearly starving to death in a large clearing. I was alone and dying, but he took me in. Tested me, trained me, then abandoned me. Left me alone as a teenager on Kashyyyk. To this day I still think the Wookie Jedi was killed. But after that?" He paused, looked over at Xian, and cleared his throat before speaking once again. "That was when I had the honor to be assigned to a Jedi Master for training. A complete stranger. It didn’t sit well with me, so weeks after enduring their teachings, I managed to sneak out of the temple. So, I spent most of my childhood on planet Kashyyyk with very little guidance." He finished, then put his attention back on the blue currents that surrounded the spacecraft.

Xian Xiao​

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian listened without interrupting, her hands resting quietly on the controls as the ship drifted through hyperspace. Somewhere during his story, she realized she had stopped looking out at the endless blue beyond the viewport. Instead, she was watching him. Not because she pitied him, but because there was an uncomfortable familiarity in what he was saying. Different worlds. Different people. Different circumstances. Yet somehow the shape of it all felt remarkably similar.

When he finished, the silence lingered for a few moments, not awkward but meaningful, as if it needed to exist before either of them spoke again; then she finally broke it with a quiet, thoughtful voice, murmuring, "...That's almost unbelievable. Our lives shouldn't have ended up looking so much alike," before letting out a slow breath and leaning back into her seat.

"We both lost our parents when we were too young to really remember them. We were both found by Jedi. We were both taken away from the only homes we knew. Then we both walked away from the lives everyone expected us to have." A faint smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, though there was sadness beneath it. "The only real difference is that my Jedi stayed."

Her black eyes drifted back toward the swirling currents of hyperspace.

"I spent years believing that was enough. That if I just worked harder, studied more, followed the rules better, eventually I'd feel like I belonged." She gave a small shrug. "Instead, I always felt like I was trying to become someone everyone else expected me to be."

Her gaze returned to him, warmer now.

"And somehow..." she said with a quiet laugh, "...we both ended up on a ship together and pointing it toward Coruscant." She shook her head once in amused disbelief. "If someone had told either of us that was where we'd end up, I don't think either one of us would have believed them."

For a moment, she simply smiled, then winced faintly at her own thoughts. "I'm glad your Master abandoned you," she said, and immediately shook her head with a soft, embarrassed laugh. "That sounded awful." She rubbed the back of her neck, searching for better words. "What I mean is... if they hadn't, we probably never would have met." A small, genuine smile returned as she glanced back toward the stars outside the cockpit. "And I think I like this path better."

Jerrik Molten

 

[Jerrik Molten]

Jerrik Molten continued to lean back in the co-pilot’s seat with a slight smirk perching up at the corner of their lips. It wasn’t what Xian said that caused this expression, it was the feeling he got when Coruscant grew closer to them. They were nearly there and Jerrik was beginning to feel eager to undergo their little vacation. The thought of settling in for a relaxing evening, while not having to chase anything or anyone. Chaos was beautiful, but the peace that settled every so often was also a very good thing. It helped boost morale most of all.

Once Xian finished speaking, that was when Jerrik finally looked over at the woman with a serious expression before spilling his guts about their past. "I was scared, Xi." He paused with a long sigh that followed. "I felt like a castaway my whole life, even when the Jedi promised to treat me like family, I didn’t feel like I fit in. My philosophy, the way I held a lightsaber, even the way I talked. I knew I didn’t belong, so I left." He finished up, turning to the window of the spacecraft once more.

As the young man settled back into the seat, he pondered about the life he used to live, not regretting a damn choice he made along the way. But the moment Xian openly admitted that she was glad Jerrik’s master abandoned him, his head snapped in her direction. "Wait, what did you say?!" His voice raised, unaware that Xian was merely pressing forward to comfort him, because without the abandonment, they would have never met in the first place. "I’m sorry that I yelled." He apologized wholeheartedly, knowing that she meant no harm with what was said. "I just didn’t know where you were going with that. But you aren’t wrong. I believe the force brought us together for a reason. What that reason is, I am still unsure." He admitted, looking back at Xian as they continued to cruise through hyperspace.

For a moment, Jerrik got lost in their gaze, noticing a warmth within as he looked at the woman, but he never reacted on that feeling. Not yet, anyway. For now, he remained quiet until a sudden thought popped up in their mind. "Have you ever seen a Sith? Like, a real Sith Lord?" He asked curiously, wondering what Xian would say in return. It was certainly a twist in their conversation, but it would keep it going as well, especially since they were still flying along their way to Coruscant.

Xian Xiao​

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian had been smiling.

It was faint, almost imperceptible, but it had been there right up until Jerrik's voice rose. The sudden sharpness in his tone made her flinch instinctively, her shoulders drawing in ever so slightly as she leaned back against the pilot's seat. For just a heartbeat, she looked less like the confident young woman who had crossed the galaxy beside him and more like the orphan who had spent years trying to avoid saying the wrong thing.

"I..."

The apology came before she could finish, and the tension left her almost as quickly as it had arrived. She let out a slow breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and offered him a small, understanding nod.

"It's alright," she said quietly. "I probably could have found a better way to say it."

Her attention drifted back toward the blue currents of hyperspace, giving both of them a moment to recover before continuing.

"I just meant..." She searched for the right words this time. "If things had gone differently for either of us, we never would have crossed paths. As painful as some of it was, I'm still grateful we did." A small smile returned, gentler than before. "That's all."

When he asked about the Sith, her expression became thoughtful as she shook her head once. "Not a Sith Lord," she said, pausing briefly before continuing, "but... I did make a sort of... frenemy." She frowned slightly at the word, then clarified, "He was a Sith apprentice," the admission sounding just as strange to her as the term she had chosen.

"I met him not long after I joined the Jedi." A quiet laugh escaped as the memory surfaced. "It was on a desert world. We fought first, naturally. Then circumstances changed, and we both ended up stranded on the wrong side of the battlefield."

She rested one elbow against the armrest, remembering the journey.

"We had to work together to get back to our own people. Neither of us trusted the other, but neither of us really had a choice." Her smile became a little more amused. "It was... an interesting few days. We argued. We disagreed about almost everything. Somehow we still managed to keep each other alive."

She looked over at Jerrik again, her expression softening as she spoke. "I never saw him as evil," she admitted carefully. "Dangerous? Yes. Stubborn? Absolutely. But he was still... just a person." Her black eyes lingered on him for a moment before she added, "I think that surprised both of us." Then, with just enough dry humor to lighten the conversation again, she said, "I'm fairly certain he thought Jedi were insufferable. Which, to be fair, some of them are."

Jerrik Molten

 

[Jerrik Molten]

Jerrik couldn’t help but to feel terrible for raising his voice at Xian, so when she responded to him, the young man tried to cut her off towards the end. "You really don’t have to explain yourself, Xi, I shouldn’t have reacted so harshly. You were right, regardless of it all." Jerrik responded, then leaned forward to look at the navigation screen, noticing that Coruscant wasn’t too far from their current location in hyperspace. The thought of a relaxing evening was beginning to sound better with each passing second, especially after Jerrik let out a tiny bit of the anger he had built up within. There was no suppressing the anger for a long time, only because it would seep out in small portions until the young man would explode with hate. Hopefully that time wouldn’t come when Xian was near.

As the subject was changed to something a bit darker, Xian responded to Jerrik’s question about the Sith, giving details of how she met one, befriended them, and eventually moved on. Not everyone is as bad as they seem, especially once you get to spend time with them, open up with them, and eventually learn things about them many others would not know. This caused Jerrik to nod slightly, reminding him of the first time a Sith made their presence known. It was terrifying, yet an experience Jerrik would never forget. "It opens your eyes, lets you know what is on both sides of the fence. But like I said before, I am not a man of strict codes, I want to do as I please without having to prove something to an audience." He replied, pulling his attention away from the navigator to look at Xian.

Xian, she was the whole reason Jerrik looked at life in a whole new way. It wasn’t something he felt that needed validation by others, rather something that can be guided by your own power, doing things without the need of always feeling like you were being tested, watched, and judged. Jerrik didn’t feel that with Xian at his side. Instead, it was as if they shared the same goals in the long haul. "I guess, good things come from bad situations. Look at us." He chuckled lightly, with a warm smile to follow. The thought of the Jedi and Sith quickly faded as he continued to look her way. It was like everything around him went silent besides their words, but it was also a very unfamiliar feeling that Jerrik felt around Xian. Warmth, comfort, and peace. All these feelings didn’t cause confusion, no. Instead, it felt like a guiding light, as if they were bonded together by the force. It made him believe in something more than hate.

Xian Xiao​

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian listened quietly, the tension from only a few moments earlier continuing to dissolve as Jerrik spoke. His apology had been genuine, and that mattered more to her than the brief flash of anger itself. Everyone carried wounds. She knew that better than most. Some simply bled more easily than others.

"I know," she said softly. "And... thank you."

She offered him a small smile before returning her attention to the controls, making a minor adjustment more out of habit than necessity. The ship remained steady as hyperspace flowed around them, leaving little to do but wait.

"I don't think either side has all the answers," she admitted after a thoughtful pause. "The Jedi taught me compassion, patience, and discipline. I'll never pretend those lessons weren't valuable. But they also taught me that there was only one way to see the galaxy." She let out a quiet breath. "Then I met people who weren't Jedi. Some were terrible. Some were wonderful. Most were just... people trying to get through another day."

Her black eyes drifted toward the endless blue beyond the viewport.

"The Sith apprentice I met challenged almost everything I believed. Not because he convinced me the Sith were right, but because he reminded me that people are rarely as simple as the names we give them." A faint smile appeared. "He thought I was naïve. I thought he was impossible. We were probably both right."

She rested her forearm against the console and looked back toward Jerrik, finding it strangely easy to meet his eyes now.

"I think that's why we've managed to travel together for this long." There was quiet certainty in her voice. "Neither of us is trying to convince the other what to believe. We disagree when we need to, we challenge each other when it matters, and then we move on." The corner of her mouth lifted. "You haven't tried to make me into you, and I haven't tried to make you into me."

For a moment she simply held his gaze before a small laugh escaped her, the warmth lingering in her expression as she added, "Well... except when I'm trying to stop you from getting yourself killed. I suppose that's a habit I'm going to keep." She then looked back toward the stars with a small smile as Coruscant drew ever closer.

"I don't know if the Force brought us together," she admitted honestly. "Maybe it did. Maybe it didn't." She shrugged lightly. "What I do know is that every day after we met, we both had the choice to walk away." Her smile softened. "Neither of us did."

There was something reassuring about that thought. The Force might guide people toward one another. But it never made them stay.

Jerrik Molten

 

[Jerrik Molten]

The gratefulness Jerrik felt for Xian was something that brought him closer to her than he realized. Not just because she was pure in almost every way, but the fact that Xian knew how to handle Jerrik’s little tantrums, it always made him feel wanted, something he didn’t feel throughout their entire life. Regardless of what Jerrik was feeling, he drifted back in the seat and listened to Xian explain the different kinds of dark siders they met in the past. She was correct. Not all were evil, nor were they out for blood every moment of their existence. No, they all walked different paths, one that did not follow the code of the Jedi.

Jerrik didn’t respond right away. Instead, his eyes met with Xian’s the moment the woman rested their forearm on the console. He almost melted in the chair right away, but the young man retained their composure and smiled warmly through it all. "I think you are absolutely right. We tend to balance each other out at the end of the day. You have a really good habit of bringing my mood up when I feel so low. I feel like I have spoken too much." He admitted, turning his cheeks a reddish color in the process of it all. Jerrik didn’t mean to let his feelings slip like that, but something about Xian made him feel comfortable at all times, even when they are escaping blaster fire in a near death experience.

As Xian finished speaking, Jerrik twisted in the chair and aimed it right at the woman, while he looked directly at her. "The force. Unlikely. The credits are more the truth. But what is keeping us together is something more than all that. Like I said earlier, it has to be the sense of balance." He replied, trying to explain how he felt at that very moment. In a sense, Jerrik felt it to be true, but he also knew that it was more than just balance. It was a mixture of all things, while their similarities were a big part in all of it as well. Regardless of their connection, Jerrik was positive that they would be inseparable in the end.

Jerrik didn’t forget how Xian spoke of the Sith and the experience she gained from them, so he attempted to bring that conversation back to life. "The Sith really thought you were naive? That is sad because I thought the opposite when we first met. I knew you were experienced; I also knew that you were going to be trouble." He laughed for a moment, before smiling warmly once more. "I wasn’t wrong, either." He added playfully. Jerrik was thrilled to have such a great partner in crime because with their potential together, it felt like they could conquer the entire galaxy together.

Xian Xiao​

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian noticed the color creeping into Jerrik's cheeks, and for a second she wasn't entirely sure what to do with that. Her first instinct was to tease him, but something about what he'd actually said stopped her. Being told that she could make him feel better when he was at his lowest landed differently than the usual jokes they traded back and forth, leaving her looking at him for a moment longer than she probably intended before her black eyes darted toward the viewport. "You haven't talked too much," she said, suddenly very interested in checking a control that didn't actually need checking. "I asked, didn't I? It would be pretty stupid to ask and then complain because you answered."

The mention of credits made things easier, and a quiet laugh escaped her as some of the awkwardness faded. "Oh, definitely the credits. That's clearly why we're still here." She glanced toward him again with a crooked little smile. "Except we've had plenty of chances to split them and disappear, so I guess that explanation doesn't really work either." Xian hadn't spent much time wondering why they were still together. Somewhere along the way, traveling with Jerrik had simply become normal. When something happened, she expected him to be there. When she thought about where they might go next, she automatically thought in terms of "we" instead of "I". She wasn't sure when that had happened, and thinking about it too closely made something flutter uncomfortably in her stomach, so she promptly decided not to.

His claim that he'd known she was experienced when they first met earned him an outright laugh. "You thought I knew what I was doing?" She turned toward him with genuine disbelief written across her face. "Jerrik, I was making half of it up as I went." The admission didn't embarrass her nearly as much as it once might have. "I just learned a long time ago that if you look like you know what you're doing, people usually assume you do." Her smile widened before she pointed a finger toward him. "And I was not the trouble. You were already trouble. I just made the mistake of sticking around."

She settled back into her seat, still smiling as his comment about the Sith apprentice brought up older memories. "He probably had a point about me being naïve, though. I thought I understood Sith because the Jedi had taught me about Sith." She made a face at how ridiculous that sounded now. "Then I actually met one, fought him, got stuck with him, and found out it was a lot more complicated than that." Xian shrugged, not entirely certain how to explain what she'd learned from the experience. "I still thought he was wrong about a lot of things. He thought I was wrong about a lot of things. We argued constantly." A small laugh escaped her. "But he wasn't some monster hiding under the bed either. He was just... him."

Her gaze returned to Jerrik, and this time she caught herself lingering again before quickly looking toward the navigation display. Coruscant was getting closer, thankfully giving her something else to concentrate on. "Anyway, I think you're wrong about one thing." A playful smile returned as she adjusted their approach calculations. "If one of us is keeping the other balanced, I'm pretty sure I'm doing most of the work." She gave him a sideways glance, unable to keep the warmth from her expression. "You've nearly gotten me killed enough times that I have stopped keeping count." A beat passed before she added, quieter but still smiling, "I'm still here, though."

Jerrik Molten

 

[Jerrik Molten]

Jerrik leaned back in the seat once more and listened to Xian respond to him. He didn’t expect the woman to feel anywhere near the same as him, but it also felt like he struck a nerve when bringing up his own feelings. "Don’t worry, I always get shut out in the end. I do not like opening up to people." He added sharply, while gripping the armrest tightly. For a few seconds, Jerrik sat there facing the console with enough built-up anger within to eventually explode on someone. Lucky for him, Xian was the only person capable of bringing his focus back on what truly mattered.

It was quiet for a moment, but the conversation continued between the two of them. Although, it was another topic and it certainly made Jerrik more comfortable talking about things he enjoyed in life. Credits, it was certainly the credits that kept them together. That was what the young man told himself, knowing damn well that it was nothing of the sort. It was the bond that they formed early on, the force that surrounded them both. "Can’t say you are wrong. Regardless, I don’t like the idea of us going our own ways. I have a less of a chance of dying with you along for the ride." He let out a playful chuckle, lessening the grip of the armrest, while looking at the console once more.

Jerrik didn’t ignore anything Xian said about the Sith. He listened to every word, nodding once or twice throughout the explanation. What caught the man’s attention was when Xian looked his way and responded about how he felt they balanced one another out. Jerrik couldn’t help but to grin with a side effect of redness to his cheeks once again. "Always throwing me under the speeder, I see how you are. But truthfully, thank you Xian. You have been such an amazing companion, even when I didn’t deserve as such. You are more appreciated than you think." He added, while turning forward in the seat once again.

The blue streaks continued to flow all around the ship and both Jerrik and Xian were still chatting it up, even though they would most likely be spending a lot of their vacation time learning more about one another. "I honestly can’t even remember the last time I planned something like this. To me, it was always about getting credits and on to the next mission. Feels weird, but in a good way, I guess." He said softly, glancing towards Xian after he spoke. Coruscant was going to be foreign to Jerrik, but it was something that he would not regret once the night was over.

Xian Xiao​

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian noticed the sharpness in his voice immediately. Her eyes drifted from the stars outside to his hand gripping the armrest, and without really thinking about it she reached over and rested her own hand lightly on top of his. She didn't try to pry his fingers loose or offer some grand reassurance. She simply left it there.

"You don't always get shut out," she said quietly. "You're talking to me."

It wasn't meant to solve anything. She doubted it could. Still, after a moment she gave his hand a gentle squeeze before letting hers slip away again, deciding that saying any more would probably make them both uncomfortable.

His comment about not wanting to go their separate ways earned a warm smile. "That's because I keep you alive." She nodded once, completely serious for nearly a full second before the corner of her mouth betrayed her. "Someone has to make sure you don't wander into every terrible idea the galaxy comes up with."

When he thanked her, though, the joke faded. Xian looked down at the console, suddenly finding the blinking navigation display unusually fascinating. Nobody had ever been particularly good at accepting compliments, and she was no exception. A little warmth crept into her cheeks as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"You make it sound like I'm doing you a favor." She let out a quiet laugh. "I stay because... well..." The sentence stalled halfway out of her mouth, and she frowned as though annoyed with herself for not finding the right words. "Because you're my friend." That felt safe enough. "Besides, who else is going to put up with me accidentally setting things on fire?"

She risked another glance at him and found herself smiling again.

"I appreciate you too."

The silence that followed wasn't uncomfortable. It settled naturally between them while hyperspace continued to streak past the cockpit. His thoughts about Coruscant made her chuckle softly.

"I've never really done this either." She leaned back in her seat, folding one leg beneath herself. "Usually it's exactly what you said. Finish the job, get paid, leave before somebody changes their mind."

Her smile became smaller, though no less genuine.

"So... this is weird." She looked toward the blue tunnel ahead before glancing back at him. "But I think weird might actually be nice."

Jerrik Molten

 

[Jerrik Molten]

Jerrik looked down at Xian’s hand the moment it rested on his, immediately turning his stomach into knots, while his face grew a darker shade of pink. Her voice, the response, it was perfect. The man simply melted in the chair, not moving, not speaking, just feeling a variety of emotions all at once. He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he let Xian continue on, which was a mistake because she hit him with another perfect response. Jerrik looked at Xian once more, even while he continued to blush horribly. "Not only that, but you also make me feel so alive, Xi. I am wanted here with you, so why leave something you want to be around." He said in a submissive tone, almost a whisper.

The moment Xian admitted to him that she felt they were friends, Jerrik didn’t turn his focus away from the woman. Instead, he looked at her deeply, wondering what was going through their mind at the moment. "What if.." He paused for a moment, glancing at the console, then back to Xian. "I want to be more than just friends. I want to experience life with you. Not just grabbing credits and on to the next mission." He admitted nervously. Jerrik wanted nothing more than to experience love and who better than the person they spent years building a bond with?

It grew silent for a moment and Jerrik fell deep into his own thoughts, feeling like a dumbass for revealing his feelings, but it also felt so relieving to him, like a large weight was lifted from his soul. Before he could snap out of their own thoughts, Jerrik heard Xian’s voice once more. She wasn’t wrong about the whole vacation thing being weird, but she wasn’t necessarily right about it either. "Eh, it is needed. We both deserve this every once in a while. Breaks the monotony for once." He replied in a more positive tone. A night out on Coruscant would certainly bring up their morale, along with the bond they both shared. Whether it was the force or other mysteries at hand that brought them together, Jerrik was happy with it either way.

Coruscant had to be getting closer to them, so Jerrik finally broke whatever silence was left between them. "So, how close are we, captain?" He chuckled, while looking over at Xian for an answer to the question. It was nice that he was able to sit back and be himself around her, especially when he had his dark moments. Xian was able to pull him out of those moments in almost an instant, which was one thing that the young man was attracted to the most.

Xian Xiao​

 

[Xian Xiao]

Jerrik's words settled over the cockpit with a weight that seemed far greater than the quiet voice that had spoken them. Xian simply looked at him, her thoughts refusing to organize themselves into anything useful. Somewhere over the past few years, between accepting jobs, sleeping beneath unfamiliar stars, arguing over plans that inevitably went wrong, and quietly trusting him with her life day after day, something had changed. She had felt it growing for months. Maybe longer. She had simply never allowed herself to give it a name. Now he had, and suddenly there was nowhere left to hide from it.

Her heart ached, not because she didn't want what he was offering, but because she did; the realization struck harder than she expected.

Her eyes lingered on his for another moment before dropping to her hands resting quietly in her lap. She wanted to lean across the narrow space between them. She wanted to kiss him. The distance separating their seats felt impossibly small and impossibly vast all at once. She could almost imagine what it would be like. Safe. Warm. Simple.

Instead, another memory surfaced, uninvited. Caelan. She remembered his smile, the way he had looked at her like she was something certain in an uncertain world, the kiss they had shared that had felt like a promise she never questioned at the time. She remembered believing there would be another one, another conversation, another tomorrow waiting just beyond the next mission, the next safe landing, the next quiet moment when the galaxy finally stopped trying to take things from her. There hadn't been.

The pain wasn't as sharp as it had been, but it was still there, tucked into a quiet corner of her heart where she rarely allowed herself to look. Loving someone had hurt in ways she had never imagined possible. Losing them had been worse. Somewhere deep inside, a part of her had quietly decided that perhaps it was safer not to step that close again. Safer to care without saying it. Safer to stay friends. Friends couldn't leave quite the same hole behind.

Except Jerrik already had. He had become part of her life so gradually she hadn't noticed until the thought of losing him suddenly made it difficult to breathe.

A small, nervous laugh escaped her, though there was very little humor in it. "You really know how to make things complicated."

Her voice was gentle, almost apologetic, as she finally looked back at him. There was fear in her eyes now, not of him, but of herself. Of what saying yes might mean. Of what she stood to lose if the galaxy decided to take someone else away.

"I... don't know what I'm supposed to say." She paused, searching for words that felt impossibly inadequate. "I care about you." The admission came quietly, almost fragile. "Probably more than either of us realized." She swallowed, her fingers unconsciously twisting together in her lap. "And that's exactly why this scares me."

Her gaze drifted toward the viewport, blue hyperspace rushing endlessly beyond the glass. "The last person I..." She stopped herself before the words caught in her throat. She didn't need to finish the sentence. "I thought there would be more time."

Silence settled between them again, not uncomfortable, only heavy with everything she couldn't quite bring herself to say.

When she looked back at him, there was unmistakable warmth in her expression, accompanied by a sadness that hadn't been there before. "I want to kiss you." The confession was barely louder than a whisper. "I've wanted to since... I don't even know when."

She smiled faintly, shaking her head at herself.

"But every time I think about doing it, I remember Caelan." Her eyes shimmered just enough to betray the emotion she was trying very hard to keep under control. "I remember thinking there would always be another chance." She let out a slow breath. "Then there wasn't."

Her smile returned, small and uncertain.

"I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what might have happened because I was too afraid to try."

Another quiet pause followed before she turned toward the navigation computer, grateful for something ordinary to anchor herself to. She studied the display longer than necessary before nodding to herself.

"We're about forty minutes out." Her voice had steadied again. "Enough time to get packed." She finally glanced back at him, the warmth returning to her eyes despite the uncertainty that still lingered there. "If you're bringing anything."

The corner of her mouth lifted into a faint, uncertain smile, as if she were trying to steady herself on something that kept shifting beneath her. "…And if you don't mind…" she added after a brief pause, the words softer now, less like a continuation and more like a careful offering. She hesitated only a heartbeat, eyes flicking away before returning to him, as though gathering the courage to stay present in the moment. "…could we keep talking about this?" she finished, her voice quieter still, carrying the weight of everything she wasn't quite ready to say out loud. It wasn't a rejection. If anything, it was the opposite, a fragile step forward wrapped in uncertainty, a willingness to remain here with him even while she was still afraid of what it might mean.

For the first time since Caelan's death, Xian wasn't asking someone to wait because she didn't know how she felt. She was asking because she knew exactly how she felt, and that frightened her more than she wanted to admit.

Jerrik Molten

 

[Jerrik Molten]

Jerrik could not only feel the emotions running through his body and mind, but he could see and feel just how badly Xian wanted it much like he did himself. It was a feeling of being lured to one another, like gravity pulling them together. At first, Jerrik resisted it because he was unsure how Xian felt about him in general. Deep down the young man knew that this feeling was shared, but he wanted reassurance that it wasn’t just him feeling these things alone.

It was silent for what seemed like forever, but Xian finally broke that with the truth. Jerrik smiled warmly at the statement, nodding his head softly in the moment. "Well, I am quite a complicated person." He admitted quietly, allowing the truth to settle in, along with the emotions attached to the words they both spoke. It was foreign, yet beautiful all at once. Something about these feelings made Jerrik want to explore them even more.

Once Xian began to explain, Jerrik didn’t do anything to interrupt what was being said. Instead, the young man leaned into the chair, waiting to hear crushing news as he was always used to. But it wasn’t nearly as bad as he originally thought it would be. It was obvious that Jerrik didn’t like hearing another man’s name, but it also didn’t stop him from the way he felt for Xian. It made him realize that what they had wasn’t meant to be rushed. Their destiny was to be patient, learn, evolve. For now, Jerrik was completely aware of what was needed to happen, so he continued to smile warmly, while looking at Xian in the process. "Then we take this slow. There is no need to rush into anything, especially when we are around one another all the time. We take tonight as an example." He responded with a subtle ease to their voice, almost as if a weight was continuing to lift away from their shoulders.

As they were closing in on Coruscant, Xian felt that it was only right if they continued their conversation. Jerrik wouldn’t disagree because he knew this wouldn’t settle until more was spoken from them both. "I know you are healing from the past, but I want you to know that regardless of what we become, I will always be there for you, Xian. We both deserve at least one person in our lives who believes in the other." He admitted with a calm voice, while remaining tucked against the seat nervously.

Xian Xiao​