S H A D O W
Chapter 1 - Memories
Footsteps echoed along the marble floor, a figure twisted around the corner into a room filled with data pads gracing the long walls. Everything organized into their proper places, biographies, artifacts, and lost arts. A small hand ran along the bottom couple of shelves of data pads, the room was only lit by them. It was late and usually the archives were closed at this moment, but she was here to watch them to keep them safe while the Master’s slept. It was her job as a padawan; she was assigned here when she wasn’t working on her healing. Her hand continued to run along the shelves of the archives, she loved the feeling of the data pads, and they held so much knowledge for her to read, to study and to learn. Her goal while here during the late nights was to learn as much as she could so that when she was taken by a Master she would be worthwhile…
Not the sensitive Empath that turned away most Masters.
The young girl found her place where she had left off. It was deep into the archives, she had discovered where most of the force powers were kept. There she had learned about a skill called Battle Meditation, the talent that allowed a force user to connect with several minds at once and guide them using the Force. Reaching out, the young woman grasped the data pad that held the information on Battle Meditation. Fingers danced along the data pad as the two faces of two great Battle Meditators came into view. Her favorite of course was Bastila Shan, she enjoyed reading the woman’s story how she was able to command ships guiding men and women safely through battle. The girl continued to read on her hero, the woman felt as if she was coming to life as she continued to read the story of how during the Old Republic she helped the Order push back two Rogue knights who fell.
I never want to fall…I’ll lose all my fre—
Putting the data pad down, she thought about her lack of friends. No one wanted to be near her, it was like the Masters that came to examine the Padawans during training. She wasn’t particularly good at saber work, hand to hand combat was far out of her league, and most Masters didn’t like the crippling affect her empathy did to her. Closing her eyes she slide her back against the wall of the data pads, it was a rare moment the girl ever felt her own emotions. Hazel eyes blinked as tears fell staining her porcelain skin. In these moments she was so alone, Aston was far from her and despite the fact that they were in the same temple and she felt him sleeping quietly – she still felt so alone. The boy turned down Masters because she wasn’t being picked up, the council probably disliked this notion, but he wasn’t going to leave her behind.
The data pad slid from her lap as she brought her knees up to her chest, the tunic she wore wrinkled as she cried into her knees. Feeling so alone, she tried to figure out why her mother had placed her in this place, she was happy on Dathomir. Her face dug deeper into her knees as she sobbed quietly, mind wandering to her youth on Dathomir with her brother.
‘Focus, feel everything around you Hi’ja you can do it.’
A younger form of the girl stood in the middle of the Dathormian forests, a small rancor lingering nearby grunted with support. A mother stood over her daughter as she tried to channel the force through the rituals the Allyan witches performed. Nothing flowed from her and the hidden guilt and disappointment washed over the mother. The girl being the empath felt the emotions and looked at her mother, a lower lip quivering as she turned and ran through the forest. The feeling of the wind against her face made her feel better made her feel free. She stopped after running for a few miles and collapsed to her knees. The rough ground pierced her skin slightly, but not enough to cause distress or to make her bleed. Looking up, she noticed a river flowing through the middle of the forest. Standing on her weakened legs, she made her way over. Thirst had taken over and she shoved her face into the water, it was cold and she shut her eyes quickly. Opening her mouth she sucked in the fresh water and was suddenly pulled out. The mother stood behind her and held her by her collar for a moment. Pointing to the water, she smiled.
‘You’re different Hi’ja I see it now, you and your brother…’
From then, it was decided that the twins be sent to the Order.
The blonde lifted her head from her knees, the memory so vivid in her mind, she looked around and noticed she was still in the Archives and the data pad about Bastila Shan was still on the floor beside her. Rubbing her eyes quickly, the girl stood and grabbed the data pad. Looking at it once more she knew she wanted to be like Bastila, she wanted to be someone great that there would be stories about her. Shoving the data pad back into the slot, she started to look at the force powers again. There were so many and she wanted to find one that would allow her to heal people, to bring them back from danger. The girl was training to be a healer and she needed to find something. Eyes darted from label to label; the heavier dark sided powers were starting to show up. She was curious why there would be dark side powers in the Jedi archive, but she figured it was so that people could learn a defense against them. The dark side was formidable and she knew that she needed to learn everything she could to be able to help her Master when she got one and to help the Order when she was summoned.
Something stopped her as she looked at one force power. Her finger trailed against the edge of the data pad. The feeling of the grooves of the label helped her read what the force power was. It was something she had never come across before, grabbing it she flipped the data pad on and in bold letters the forbidden skill lit up.
Chapter 2 - Confusion
Eyes opened quickly and the illusion of the archive disappeared from her vision. Spencer looked around the meditation room of the Peregrine. She had been in here for some time and she felt her chest rise and fall deeply trying to regain her breath. The master rested her chin on her hand while leaning forward in her crouch. The enhance memory helped her remember something when she was working in the archives. She didn’t have access to them now and she would have to remember a time she was in the Sith and capable of gaining some sort of knowledge. Sitting there she pondered her time with the Sith, Ashin had kept her busy with her studies and she wasn’t able to venture along too far during the beginning of the woman’s reign. After taking the identity of Sanctuary she was able to move more freely through the system.
Standing slowly, Spencer pulled at the loose fitting shirt. The fabric clung to her and her body was drenched with sweat. The memory enhancement and the flow walk was something she hadn’t grown used to performing at the same time. Her flow walking was still weak, but with the memory enhancement it made it easier to pick apart the past. Her walking forward was always what troubled her. She was a fourth generation of the line of flow walkers in this force ‘family’ if you wanted to think of it this way. Velok had learned from the Aing-Tii, and then taught it to Ashin, who in turn taught it to Spencer. Tilting her head she tried to figure if she was considered a fourth generation or a third, either way it made her flow walking far difficult. Her only saving grace was her connection and adept ability with mental force skills.
Spencer made a mental note to contact or to attempt to contact the mysterious Aing-Tii, she needed to learn the flow walk better and the only way to do that was to learn from the direct source.
The room around her was quiet and she figured that was the point of the meditation room, here she was able to lose her mind into the voids of time and space, she was able to battle meditate and she was able to help train those that were seeking her aid while connected to the Fleet. She was essentially a floating school of knowledge and the Peregrine was her sanctuary. The word held so much meaning to her; she repeated the word quietly under her breath as she smiled softly.
‘Sanctuary’
The name as an identity that she had used to cover her, it protected her and provided just that a sanctuary among the Sith. Spencer stood as she reminisced about her time as the First Apprentice, she was important and her face was known only by the mask she wore. Thinking of the mask she looked towards a counter top that was located just a few feet away from her. On top of the counter was the mask she was given and her data pad. Her bare feet padded over towards the table and she ran her finger tips along the metallic front of the mask, she hadn’t worn it in some time, but there was no reason for it. Tearing her mind from the memories she opened her data pad, she needed to find some sort of information of on the archive name she had remembered from her memory. Using the holonet she searched, but there was no success. Placing the data pad onto the table again she cursed in frustration. There had to be other information than her memories of the technique, she needed to remember what it did, why she was so drawn to it.
The force worked in mysterious ways and there had to be a reason why her hand stopped just in front of the archive file. She could have just continued on looking at other talents especially pertaining to healing, but no she had stopped to look at this one. Spencer rested her back onto one of the inner pillars of the meditation room and she let her body weight slide her down. Just like in her memory the girl hung her head in defeat. She was too worn out to attempt to flow walk again so soon, she was too tired to try and relive another memory so quickly. She was left with trying to remember what it was; she had to find out what she had read in that tablet.
An elbow rested against her knee as her fingers rubbed the front of her forehead. Spencer knew it would be some time till she was able to re-enter her own mind and search for the memory of the archives once more. If she wasn’t able to find what she was looking for within the memory of the night in the temple she would have to remember her time in the Sith Vault of Knowledge. It was times like this moment she wished she belonged to a faction, she had vowed a life of wandering despite her new royal title on Eshan. Her life belonged to the Force, it belonged to balance and it belonged to one woman. Spencer used the wall to help stand up; her body was still weak from the strain she had put it through. Moving closer towards the center of the meditation room, she collapsed to her knees and with a deep breath she closed her eyes and prepared her mind through meditation for the journey it would be taking soon.
Chapter 3 – Past
There was so much commotion going on, the crash of lightsabers, shouts and orders from masters to padawans, and the screams of those perishing under the crimson blades of the Sith. Standing in the middle of it all her eyes darted seeing faces she had only read about. Observant eyes narrowed as she stood and watched. Suddenly something pulled at the back of her mind, she felt her body pulled and she lost all connections to herself.
A Zabrak male looked towards where she stood; his voice ran in her ears as she realized she had no control of her body. A blue blade swung cutting through what she understood to be a trooper from the Palpatine’s Empire. The male Zabrak spoke and the body she was viewing everything from moved once again slicing through the next attacker.
Get the younglings to the shuttle and get off the planet, your father and I will stop them here. Hurry!
The voice inside of her mind echoed, she couldn’t answer and she couldn’t ask questions. It was a boy’s voice he spoke with a passion that she had only felt during certain times of her life. He was stubborn and she knew that they weren’t going anywhere and that he was going to make them stay. His voice rang over the chaos and Spencer could only listen and continue to hope that this was all just some sort of weird dream.
No! I’m needed here!
Stubborn, it was all Spencer thought as she picked up on his thoughts. He didn’t want to leave this Zabrak or his father which when the boy glanced over towards the red haired man she felt the surge of emotions about the memories the boy shared. She felt everything, his determination, his desire to stay with his father and the Zabrak, and there was an odd familiarity she felt with him. Of course everything she recognized was from the Temple studies, she couldn’t place the faces, but she knew how far she had gone.
700 years into the past…she stood on Ossus, no she was in another’s mind on Ossus defending something precious from the Sith.
Another man’s voice echoed near her, it was stern yet had the father’s love. The feelings of the other man’s care about his child made her hurt. The hole that was left by Kamon ripped open and she felt as if she was bleeding to death. The lack of his presence, how much she had put him on a pedestal, and how he disregarded her. She wanted to cry, she wanted to yell at him, but in the end under all the emotions she wanted him to accept her.
The man’s voice cut through her memories and spoke wisdom to her host.
Listen to the Force. A Jedi’s first concern is to preserve life. Protect the younglings with your life, Son. Obey Master Sazen and Go!
Yes…father.
Spencer felt the twist of the boy’s body; she soon found her eyes focused on a shuttle which had been behind them. She felt the pain in his heart; he didn’t want to leave his Master or his father. Thought he was obedient and listened. It bothered her, in her experiences with the force she knew the force obeyed on occasion, but even the most experienced wielder will never tame the force. Sighing softly, she knew that this was the skewed vision of both sides of the Force. Each wanted to control – to take in and make the Force obey, when in the end the Force is what controlled us, made us obey to its will.
It didn’t’ take them long to board the shuttle, she could feel the rage and intensity rise around her as she knew the fight behind them had started. She wanted to close her eyes, she wanted to calm the boy she was within, he was so torn between his orders and his desires. The body shifted turning and she watched as the Zabrak was cut down, if she could gasp she would have. She like the boy wanted to run back out and help the man who was the father. The cold glass rested against the boy’s hands as he stared at the horror of his Master down and his father alone to face the Sith.
Master Sazen is down! My father is fighting alone!
He’s not just your father, he is my Master this isn’t easy for me. He expects us to obey so honor that!
The boy made a choice, the lightsaber flared in his hand and he took off. His bare feet padding against the cold steel of the shuttle, she felt everything he was feeling. She wondered what she was doing here and why she was viewing this. It was a question she found her mind asking while she viewed. The dream was becoming too vivid and it scared her – what if this boy died?
I can’t sit here and watch my father and my master die!
The boy ran and the force flowed through him, Spencer wanted to shut her eyes but she couldn’t. She watched as a foot connected with the face of a male twi’lek. The father realizing who had just helped him turned and his emotions remaining controlled spoke to his son. The words played on her ears and she so wished she could have fixed things with Kamon.
Your delay is endangering the lives on board the shuttle – this is not how you were taught!
I won’t leave you!
Spencer wished she had that same connection with her father – she wouldn’t leave him on the battlefield, not like this – no matter how much she hated him. Another lesson cut through the air from the Father and Master.
You’re putting your OWN wants and your OWN desires ahead of your duties – ahead of the needs of others! Help your master onto the shuttle and leave!
As you command – Master….
The boy rushed towards his Master’s body, he lifted him throwing the body over his shoulders and looked once more towards his father. She felt the uncontrolled sadness; she was becoming too connected to this dream to whatever it was. The weight of the body bore down on her; there was a strength that the boy had that she could never fathom of having. The will of the boy reminded her of her brother and it caused her to smile despite the events that were playing out. The arrived on the shuttle and the heavy body of the Master rested on a pile of crates. Confusion and sadness filled the small shuttle as the children spotted the Master – the sight no child would be able to forget. A voice came from her side as a little girl holding a ewok stuffed animal came to the side of the Master.
Is he dead? Is Master Sazen…dead?
The Master stirred and Spencer felt her own emotions, she was happy and then soon disappointed as he spoke.
Shhh…Do not be afraid. What have you been taught? There is…no death. Is there? Only the Force. When the shell falls…the essence remains…nothing is lost..nothing…is…
He was fading and the boy watched helpless. Suddenly there was a surge, the desire to keep his Master – to not lose him caused something. Points along the dying man’s body showed up in front of her. She was viewing everything from the boy’s eyes. Her eyes darted along with the boys as the surge of the force flowed within him. His hands grasped the body shocking it with what looked like lightning, but it was different. The dots that she saw along the man’s body started to connect as the energy flowed through his body. The determination the desire to have the man back created this…
But what was it?
Spencer sat up. She had somehow managed to make her way back into her bed. Looking out the small window she realized she was still in space on the Peregrine. Her chest moved up and down heavily, her eyes moved from the window and back to her hands. What had she had seen? Who were those people? Closing her eyes she placed her hand on her forehead and sighed softly.
Chapter 4 – Reason
Spencer continued to rub her forehead, the memory didn’t belong to her she knew that much. Who was that boy; his name clung to the tip of her tongue. The faces she saw them while she kept her eyes shut, they moved so fluidly in the memory. It wasn’t hers, why was it so vivid in her mind. The window provided some light from one of the nearby stars, its dim light seeping into the Peregrine as the ship’s autopilot flew by. She didn’t look out the window, she knew better than to look at the stars. They reminded her of being alone, she always looked at them when she was alone wondering if there was someone else in the Galaxy viewing them and feeling the same. The stars seemed to be the constant common factor in everyone’s lives – they were always there like the force.
Spencer reached out and clutched the stuffed Whiphid toy; she had seen it while planet side and knew she had to have it. It was a comforting tool, the toy reminded her of a certain Whiphid and without his help and guidance she wouldn’t be alive today. She also wouldn’t have met Ashin; she probably would be stuck on Coruscant as a healer never seeing the outside of the temple. Her eyes glanced up as she clutched the toy in her arms; she peered out to see the stars. The light had faded slightly as the Peregrine moved away from the dim star. The stars they reminded her of that night on Mustafar and the night she had been on her way lost to the Starliner.
*Beep Beep Beep*
A light flashed next to her and she looked down, on top of her data pad was a lightsaber. Spencer grasped the handle for moment and turned it over a few times and realized it was Ashin’s. Raising an eyebrow the woman was never careless to just leave the weapon lying around – she must have left it on accident before she left to do whatever she needed to do. Putting it back on the nightstand she smirked and shook her head. Her attention was drawn to the flashing light that was under the lightsaber. The data pad alerted her of the date and she laughed.
“It’s my birthday; I tend to forget so often…”
Sending a quick message to Aston wishing him a happy birthday she put the data pad down and looked towards the door of the bunks. She remembered her last birthday quite vividly, in all honesty Spencer felt reborn on her eighteenth birthday, it was the day she fell in love….
‘I’d like to keep you. You want to keep me?’
Remember the words throwing her through a loop; Spencer understood the meaning behind them. She knew that she wouldn’t be alone on her path, she would have someone to confide in and someone that cared what she did. Reaching up she touched the silver necklace she had received as a birthday present, it was the first thing she didn’t have to share with Aston. The gift defined her as a person an important person to someone. Spencer sighed softly as she closed her eyes and relieved the memory, she missed Ashin when she was gone like this, but they were both so involved in the cogwheels of the galaxy.
‘There's a Sith technique to pass unnoticed, a spell of concealment. I've worked that into this necklace. I altered it into the power to go unrecognized, similar to the effect I've woven into my armor. Wearing this, you can't be recognized, not even by me. It's that powerful. Of course, I'll always know it's you.’
Just like when Ashin touched her lip, Spencer did as well remembering the mark. The kiss, her first kiss with the woman burned with pain yet she wanted more. She always wanted more; there was something intoxicating about the former Empress. It wasn’t just the attention Spencer received, it was something more. Spencer opened her eyes staring into the darkness; there was so much that had happened to them through the course of meeting everything made her want to stay by the woman more and more. Nothing could pull her away from Ashin, no one or anything not even death.
‘I rule a quarter of the galaxy, but sometimes, in my heart of hearts, when I'm with you I just feel like a moth looking at a fire.’
No Ashin, I’ve always been drawn to you…even when I was a child; I always knew I’d meet you one day….
Sighing softly she knew the force worked in mysterious ways, though in this aspect Spencer wondered if this was the plan that Velok had worked out, if this was his ultimate goal for her. Spencer was now the Queen of the Echani, one of the more powerful Mentalist Specialist in the galaxy, and here she was lying in the bed that belonged to her and one of the most powerful women in the galaxy. Falling back into the pillow she looked up at the ceiling, her mind worked through her own memories and not the one she had seen in her dream. She enjoyed her own memories far more than the boy brining his Master back. Spencer closed her eyes and sighed softly, she still felt her heart racing from what she had seen during her sleep.
Focusing on her own memories to calm her, she remembered Mimbaan. It was their sanctuary before thePeregrine; there Spencer learned from Ashin, felt the effects of the Kaiburr crystal and became protected from pheromones. She could remember the burn that surged through her during the process and in that moment she realized everything Ashin was doing was to protect her. Hazel eyes shot open as she came face to face with the ceiling again. Everything that lead up to this moment was to protect her, Ashin in her own way created a world to protect Spencer. Sitting up she started to move her fingers as she counted the things she had been given or offered.
“The bloodtrail, the necklace, the mask, the identity, the training, the alchemy, and now the fleet…everything she made and developed…”
Spencer sat there in the shock of her realization, she knew what she had done, she knew that she had given up her home on Dathomir, she had given up her relationship with her father, she gave up the light and it was all just to keep the fire that was Ashin. Tossing the plush toy from her lap she slipped out of the bed. Her mind quickly flashed to one of the worst moments in her life, it was worse than when she nearly felt Ashin die on Roche, it was what changed her entire life, both of their lives.
Ashin had cancer and it was eating her alive…
‘I'm dying, Spencer. It was only a matter of time’
Spencer no matter how long they lived she would always remember this nightmare and it would replay in her mind forever. It was a reminder that she only had moments with Ashin even if they lived well beyond their mortal limits; everything was just a brief moment in time. Spencer closed her eyes as she walked through the dark hallway of the Peregrine towards the library, her bare feet sticking slightly to the cold floor. Standing in her sports bra and loose fitting Echani training slacks she ran her fingers across the small collection of data pads. She had pirated a few of the archives from the Jedi temple with her memory enhancement and she knew there was one she had pirated through the holonet. It was the same data pad she had seen in her dream. Finally finding it she grasped the information and quickly lit up the pad. Using her finger she swiped through it quickly going through the information. It was then she found the reasoning behind her brief memory. The article on the force power known as Dark Transfer read…
“An extremely rare force power that allowed the user to bring others back to life from the brink of death, it could only be accessed through the dark side”
Spencer drew the data pad to her chest as she thought about this. A power that brought people back from the brink of death, it wasn’t like Dark Repair or the power that she possessed from her learnings at the Jedi Temple. This was something all its own, powerful and one of the strong rare powers that were out there with the force. Her fingertips pressed against the back of the data pad, nothing felt real as she let herself fall to her knees. This was the information she had been looking for, this was the power that she had desired more than anything. If she knew, if she could figure this power out – she would never have to lose Ashin. Closing her eyes she knew what it meant, it meant letting herself fall for a moment, feeling the surge of power from the dark side. Would she be able to do that? Would she be okay with letting her balance slip?
Pulling the data pad from her chest she looked back down at it. The words being read over and over again as she tried to figure if she was capable of it. Extremely rare, and only accessed through the dark side of the Force. Resting back on her feet, Spencer sat on her knees and just stared at the words, letting them absorb into her mind. She remembered once more, the moment between her and Ashin on the beach, she could do this, she had to do this one way or another.
‘I would give everything; I would give everything just to keep you here. I’d give up the force just to be able to see you the next day. Ashin, I’ll always be yours. I don’t want anyone else. Give me more time please, I’ll find a way to make everything better please Ashin…’
“I would give anything, even everything I’ve strived for. I’ve fallen and returned several times – I can do this. I’m not going to lose her, never I’m never going to lose anyone.”
Chapter 5 - Flawed
The sound of metal ripping apart by something stronger than it echoed in her mind, the ship being torn apart by something or someone. Spencer stood there helpless as she watched as the bridge of the ship, a place where she was headed disappeared in a flash of light. The sirens shattered the silence, but Spencer remained staring into the void that was left of the bridge. That day had come, where she was once more alone.
A hand pressed against the window near the bed on the Peregrine, Spencer found herself trying to find fresh air despite being in space. Of course, the door wouldn’t open, but the chill of Space clung to the window giving the girl some sense of reality. Sitting up, she coughed gagging at the heat that her body was giving off from the stress of the dream. They always felt so real, the nightmares which always seemed worse when Ashin wasn’t next to her. The woman had a sense of calm about her, but that calm was gone and Spencer couldn’t return it. A glass of water shook on the nightstand as she reached over and clutched it. The cool liquid touched her lips and she gulped it down, it calmed her for the time being. Fingers pressed against the glass tightly, till her knuckles were white, it was only doing things like this that reminded her that she was alive - that this was real. Staring at it, she rotated the glass slightly as if she searched for some sort of answer with in the glass. When it didn’t give her an answer or an answer she had been searching for, her fingers released it and the glass rolled from her grasp onto the bed. The glass laid there and in a bout of frustration it flung across the room shattering against the wall.
“Useless”
Spencer spoke quietly as she found some way to get out of bed, it felt like ages since she felt the chill of the cold ground against the soles of her feet. Despite the urging of Ashin and her Mother, she chose not to wear shoes or socks while they were aboard the Peregrine...or anywhere else in that matter. If she could get away with it, she would be naked for most of her days. Though as much as some would appreciate it, Spencer didn’t feel comfortable enough to expose herself to anyone besides Ashin. The sound of warm feet sticking to the cold ground echoed as Spencer wandered into the kitchen area, she decided it was time she attempted to eat something. Holding her stomach she listened to its protest, yet the longer she stood there the more she wanted to just retreat back to the bed. So she did so.
Her face collapsed into the bed, her face falling into the pillow that the other woman would sleep on. It still smelled like her, everything still carried her scent. Spencer buried her face into the pillow taking in what she could and then she cried. Laying there till she couldn’t feel her tear ducts anymore, Spencer finally rolled over and looked at her hands. She was a trained healer, she was something special according to Ashin. Why did she continuously lose those that she cared for? Anger swelled inside of her a knot building in the pit of her stomach as she sat up and continued to look at her hands.
“I lost track of things. I assumed we had fixed them - that it was the answer. Damnit! Damnit!”
As much as she wanted to throw things everywhere, she couldn’t. Sitting there in her pit of self pity, Spencer Jacobs continued to cry. The image of the bridge once more filled her mind, who could have had that power to rip a ship like that apart and then hurl it into hyperspace? No name’s came to mind, but she would find out - even if it killed her.
Moving a hand through her starting to dampen hair, Spencer focused on the one thing that could keep her sane. She found herself constantly focusing on this point
Footsteps echoed along the marble floor, a figure twisted around the corner into a room filled with data pads gracing the long walls. Everything organized into their proper places, biographies, artifacts, and lost arts. A small hand ran along the bottom couple of shelves of data pads, the room was only lit by them. It was late and usually the archives were closed at this moment, but she was here to watch them to keep them safe while the Master’s slept. It was her job as a padawan; she was assigned here when she wasn’t working on her healing. Her hand continued to run along the shelves of the archives, she loved the feeling of the data pads, and they held so much knowledge for her to read, to study and to learn. Her goal while here during the late nights was to learn as much as she could so that when she was taken by a Master she would be worthwhile…
Not the sensitive Empath that turned away most Masters.
The young girl found her place where she had left off. It was deep into the archives, she had discovered where most of the force powers were kept. There she had learned about a skill called Battle Meditation, the talent that allowed a force user to connect with several minds at once and guide them using the Force. Reaching out, the young woman grasped the data pad that held the information on Battle Meditation. Fingers danced along the data pad as the two faces of two great Battle Meditators came into view. Her favorite of course was Bastila Shan, she enjoyed reading the woman’s story how she was able to command ships guiding men and women safely through battle. The girl continued to read on her hero, the woman felt as if she was coming to life as she continued to read the story of how during the Old Republic she helped the Order push back two Rogue knights who fell.
I never want to fall…I’ll lose all my fre—
Putting the data pad down, she thought about her lack of friends. No one wanted to be near her, it was like the Masters that came to examine the Padawans during training. She wasn’t particularly good at saber work, hand to hand combat was far out of her league, and most Masters didn’t like the crippling affect her empathy did to her. Closing her eyes she slide her back against the wall of the data pads, it was a rare moment the girl ever felt her own emotions. Hazel eyes blinked as tears fell staining her porcelain skin. In these moments she was so alone, Aston was far from her and despite the fact that they were in the same temple and she felt him sleeping quietly – she still felt so alone. The boy turned down Masters because she wasn’t being picked up, the council probably disliked this notion, but he wasn’t going to leave her behind.
The data pad slid from her lap as she brought her knees up to her chest, the tunic she wore wrinkled as she cried into her knees. Feeling so alone, she tried to figure out why her mother had placed her in this place, she was happy on Dathomir. Her face dug deeper into her knees as she sobbed quietly, mind wandering to her youth on Dathomir with her brother.
‘Focus, feel everything around you Hi’ja you can do it.’
A younger form of the girl stood in the middle of the Dathormian forests, a small rancor lingering nearby grunted with support. A mother stood over her daughter as she tried to channel the force through the rituals the Allyan witches performed. Nothing flowed from her and the hidden guilt and disappointment washed over the mother. The girl being the empath felt the emotions and looked at her mother, a lower lip quivering as she turned and ran through the forest. The feeling of the wind against her face made her feel better made her feel free. She stopped after running for a few miles and collapsed to her knees. The rough ground pierced her skin slightly, but not enough to cause distress or to make her bleed. Looking up, she noticed a river flowing through the middle of the forest. Standing on her weakened legs, she made her way over. Thirst had taken over and she shoved her face into the water, it was cold and she shut her eyes quickly. Opening her mouth she sucked in the fresh water and was suddenly pulled out. The mother stood behind her and held her by her collar for a moment. Pointing to the water, she smiled.
‘You’re different Hi’ja I see it now, you and your brother…’
From then, it was decided that the twins be sent to the Order.
The blonde lifted her head from her knees, the memory so vivid in her mind, she looked around and noticed she was still in the Archives and the data pad about Bastila Shan was still on the floor beside her. Rubbing her eyes quickly, the girl stood and grabbed the data pad. Looking at it once more she knew she wanted to be like Bastila, she wanted to be someone great that there would be stories about her. Shoving the data pad back into the slot, she started to look at the force powers again. There were so many and she wanted to find one that would allow her to heal people, to bring them back from danger. The girl was training to be a healer and she needed to find something. Eyes darted from label to label; the heavier dark sided powers were starting to show up. She was curious why there would be dark side powers in the Jedi archive, but she figured it was so that people could learn a defense against them. The dark side was formidable and she knew that she needed to learn everything she could to be able to help her Master when she got one and to help the Order when she was summoned.
Something stopped her as she looked at one force power. Her finger trailed against the edge of the data pad. The feeling of the grooves of the label helped her read what the force power was. It was something she had never come across before, grabbing it she flipped the data pad on and in bold letters the forbidden skill lit up.
DARK TRANSFER
Chapter 2 - Confusion
Eyes opened quickly and the illusion of the archive disappeared from her vision. Spencer looked around the meditation room of the Peregrine. She had been in here for some time and she felt her chest rise and fall deeply trying to regain her breath. The master rested her chin on her hand while leaning forward in her crouch. The enhance memory helped her remember something when she was working in the archives. She didn’t have access to them now and she would have to remember a time she was in the Sith and capable of gaining some sort of knowledge. Sitting there she pondered her time with the Sith, Ashin had kept her busy with her studies and she wasn’t able to venture along too far during the beginning of the woman’s reign. After taking the identity of Sanctuary she was able to move more freely through the system.
Standing slowly, Spencer pulled at the loose fitting shirt. The fabric clung to her and her body was drenched with sweat. The memory enhancement and the flow walk was something she hadn’t grown used to performing at the same time. Her flow walking was still weak, but with the memory enhancement it made it easier to pick apart the past. Her walking forward was always what troubled her. She was a fourth generation of the line of flow walkers in this force ‘family’ if you wanted to think of it this way. Velok had learned from the Aing-Tii, and then taught it to Ashin, who in turn taught it to Spencer. Tilting her head she tried to figure if she was considered a fourth generation or a third, either way it made her flow walking far difficult. Her only saving grace was her connection and adept ability with mental force skills.
Spencer made a mental note to contact or to attempt to contact the mysterious Aing-Tii, she needed to learn the flow walk better and the only way to do that was to learn from the direct source.
The room around her was quiet and she figured that was the point of the meditation room, here she was able to lose her mind into the voids of time and space, she was able to battle meditate and she was able to help train those that were seeking her aid while connected to the Fleet. She was essentially a floating school of knowledge and the Peregrine was her sanctuary. The word held so much meaning to her; she repeated the word quietly under her breath as she smiled softly.
‘Sanctuary’
The name as an identity that she had used to cover her, it protected her and provided just that a sanctuary among the Sith. Spencer stood as she reminisced about her time as the First Apprentice, she was important and her face was known only by the mask she wore. Thinking of the mask she looked towards a counter top that was located just a few feet away from her. On top of the counter was the mask she was given and her data pad. Her bare feet padded over towards the table and she ran her finger tips along the metallic front of the mask, she hadn’t worn it in some time, but there was no reason for it. Tearing her mind from the memories she opened her data pad, she needed to find some sort of information of on the archive name she had remembered from her memory. Using the holonet she searched, but there was no success. Placing the data pad onto the table again she cursed in frustration. There had to be other information than her memories of the technique, she needed to remember what it did, why she was so drawn to it.
The force worked in mysterious ways and there had to be a reason why her hand stopped just in front of the archive file. She could have just continued on looking at other talents especially pertaining to healing, but no she had stopped to look at this one. Spencer rested her back onto one of the inner pillars of the meditation room and she let her body weight slide her down. Just like in her memory the girl hung her head in defeat. She was too worn out to attempt to flow walk again so soon, she was too tired to try and relive another memory so quickly. She was left with trying to remember what it was; she had to find out what she had read in that tablet.
An elbow rested against her knee as her fingers rubbed the front of her forehead. Spencer knew it would be some time till she was able to re-enter her own mind and search for the memory of the archives once more. If she wasn’t able to find what she was looking for within the memory of the night in the temple she would have to remember her time in the Sith Vault of Knowledge. It was times like this moment she wished she belonged to a faction, she had vowed a life of wandering despite her new royal title on Eshan. Her life belonged to the Force, it belonged to balance and it belonged to one woman. Spencer used the wall to help stand up; her body was still weak from the strain she had put it through. Moving closer towards the center of the meditation room, she collapsed to her knees and with a deep breath she closed her eyes and prepared her mind through meditation for the journey it would be taking soon.
Chapter 3 – Past
There was so much commotion going on, the crash of lightsabers, shouts and orders from masters to padawans, and the screams of those perishing under the crimson blades of the Sith. Standing in the middle of it all her eyes darted seeing faces she had only read about. Observant eyes narrowed as she stood and watched. Suddenly something pulled at the back of her mind, she felt her body pulled and she lost all connections to herself.
A Zabrak male looked towards where she stood; his voice ran in her ears as she realized she had no control of her body. A blue blade swung cutting through what she understood to be a trooper from the Palpatine’s Empire. The male Zabrak spoke and the body she was viewing everything from moved once again slicing through the next attacker.
Get the younglings to the shuttle and get off the planet, your father and I will stop them here. Hurry!
The voice inside of her mind echoed, she couldn’t answer and she couldn’t ask questions. It was a boy’s voice he spoke with a passion that she had only felt during certain times of her life. He was stubborn and she knew that they weren’t going anywhere and that he was going to make them stay. His voice rang over the chaos and Spencer could only listen and continue to hope that this was all just some sort of weird dream.
No! I’m needed here!
Stubborn, it was all Spencer thought as she picked up on his thoughts. He didn’t want to leave this Zabrak or his father which when the boy glanced over towards the red haired man she felt the surge of emotions about the memories the boy shared. She felt everything, his determination, his desire to stay with his father and the Zabrak, and there was an odd familiarity she felt with him. Of course everything she recognized was from the Temple studies, she couldn’t place the faces, but she knew how far she had gone.
700 years into the past…she stood on Ossus, no she was in another’s mind on Ossus defending something precious from the Sith.
Another man’s voice echoed near her, it was stern yet had the father’s love. The feelings of the other man’s care about his child made her hurt. The hole that was left by Kamon ripped open and she felt as if she was bleeding to death. The lack of his presence, how much she had put him on a pedestal, and how he disregarded her. She wanted to cry, she wanted to yell at him, but in the end under all the emotions she wanted him to accept her.
The man’s voice cut through her memories and spoke wisdom to her host.
Listen to the Force. A Jedi’s first concern is to preserve life. Protect the younglings with your life, Son. Obey Master Sazen and Go!
Yes…father.
Spencer felt the twist of the boy’s body; she soon found her eyes focused on a shuttle which had been behind them. She felt the pain in his heart; he didn’t want to leave his Master or his father. Thought he was obedient and listened. It bothered her, in her experiences with the force she knew the force obeyed on occasion, but even the most experienced wielder will never tame the force. Sighing softly, she knew that this was the skewed vision of both sides of the Force. Each wanted to control – to take in and make the Force obey, when in the end the Force is what controlled us, made us obey to its will.
It didn’t’ take them long to board the shuttle, she could feel the rage and intensity rise around her as she knew the fight behind them had started. She wanted to close her eyes, she wanted to calm the boy she was within, he was so torn between his orders and his desires. The body shifted turning and she watched as the Zabrak was cut down, if she could gasp she would have. She like the boy wanted to run back out and help the man who was the father. The cold glass rested against the boy’s hands as he stared at the horror of his Master down and his father alone to face the Sith.
Master Sazen is down! My father is fighting alone!
He’s not just your father, he is my Master this isn’t easy for me. He expects us to obey so honor that!
The boy made a choice, the lightsaber flared in his hand and he took off. His bare feet padding against the cold steel of the shuttle, she felt everything he was feeling. She wondered what she was doing here and why she was viewing this. It was a question she found her mind asking while she viewed. The dream was becoming too vivid and it scared her – what if this boy died?
I can’t sit here and watch my father and my master die!
The boy ran and the force flowed through him, Spencer wanted to shut her eyes but she couldn’t. She watched as a foot connected with the face of a male twi’lek. The father realizing who had just helped him turned and his emotions remaining controlled spoke to his son. The words played on her ears and she so wished she could have fixed things with Kamon.
Your delay is endangering the lives on board the shuttle – this is not how you were taught!
I won’t leave you!
Spencer wished she had that same connection with her father – she wouldn’t leave him on the battlefield, not like this – no matter how much she hated him. Another lesson cut through the air from the Father and Master.
You’re putting your OWN wants and your OWN desires ahead of your duties – ahead of the needs of others! Help your master onto the shuttle and leave!
As you command – Master….
The boy rushed towards his Master’s body, he lifted him throwing the body over his shoulders and looked once more towards his father. She felt the uncontrolled sadness; she was becoming too connected to this dream to whatever it was. The weight of the body bore down on her; there was a strength that the boy had that she could never fathom of having. The will of the boy reminded her of her brother and it caused her to smile despite the events that were playing out. The arrived on the shuttle and the heavy body of the Master rested on a pile of crates. Confusion and sadness filled the small shuttle as the children spotted the Master – the sight no child would be able to forget. A voice came from her side as a little girl holding a ewok stuffed animal came to the side of the Master.
Is he dead? Is Master Sazen…dead?
The Master stirred and Spencer felt her own emotions, she was happy and then soon disappointed as he spoke.
Shhh…Do not be afraid. What have you been taught? There is…no death. Is there? Only the Force. When the shell falls…the essence remains…nothing is lost..nothing…is…
He was fading and the boy watched helpless. Suddenly there was a surge, the desire to keep his Master – to not lose him caused something. Points along the dying man’s body showed up in front of her. She was viewing everything from the boy’s eyes. Her eyes darted along with the boys as the surge of the force flowed within him. His hands grasped the body shocking it with what looked like lightning, but it was different. The dots that she saw along the man’s body started to connect as the energy flowed through his body. The determination the desire to have the man back created this…
But what was it?
Spencer sat up. She had somehow managed to make her way back into her bed. Looking out the small window she realized she was still in space on the Peregrine. Her chest moved up and down heavily, her eyes moved from the window and back to her hands. What had she had seen? Who were those people? Closing her eyes she placed her hand on her forehead and sighed softly.
Chapter 4 – Reason
Spencer continued to rub her forehead, the memory didn’t belong to her she knew that much. Who was that boy; his name clung to the tip of her tongue. The faces she saw them while she kept her eyes shut, they moved so fluidly in the memory. It wasn’t hers, why was it so vivid in her mind. The window provided some light from one of the nearby stars, its dim light seeping into the Peregrine as the ship’s autopilot flew by. She didn’t look out the window, she knew better than to look at the stars. They reminded her of being alone, she always looked at them when she was alone wondering if there was someone else in the Galaxy viewing them and feeling the same. The stars seemed to be the constant common factor in everyone’s lives – they were always there like the force.
Spencer reached out and clutched the stuffed Whiphid toy; she had seen it while planet side and knew she had to have it. It was a comforting tool, the toy reminded her of a certain Whiphid and without his help and guidance she wouldn’t be alive today. She also wouldn’t have met Ashin; she probably would be stuck on Coruscant as a healer never seeing the outside of the temple. Her eyes glanced up as she clutched the toy in her arms; she peered out to see the stars. The light had faded slightly as the Peregrine moved away from the dim star. The stars they reminded her of that night on Mustafar and the night she had been on her way lost to the Starliner.
*Beep Beep Beep*
A light flashed next to her and she looked down, on top of her data pad was a lightsaber. Spencer grasped the handle for moment and turned it over a few times and realized it was Ashin’s. Raising an eyebrow the woman was never careless to just leave the weapon lying around – she must have left it on accident before she left to do whatever she needed to do. Putting it back on the nightstand she smirked and shook her head. Her attention was drawn to the flashing light that was under the lightsaber. The data pad alerted her of the date and she laughed.
“It’s my birthday; I tend to forget so often…”
Sending a quick message to Aston wishing him a happy birthday she put the data pad down and looked towards the door of the bunks. She remembered her last birthday quite vividly, in all honesty Spencer felt reborn on her eighteenth birthday, it was the day she fell in love….
‘I’d like to keep you. You want to keep me?’
Remember the words throwing her through a loop; Spencer understood the meaning behind them. She knew that she wouldn’t be alone on her path, she would have someone to confide in and someone that cared what she did. Reaching up she touched the silver necklace she had received as a birthday present, it was the first thing she didn’t have to share with Aston. The gift defined her as a person an important person to someone. Spencer sighed softly as she closed her eyes and relieved the memory, she missed Ashin when she was gone like this, but they were both so involved in the cogwheels of the galaxy.
‘There's a Sith technique to pass unnoticed, a spell of concealment. I've worked that into this necklace. I altered it into the power to go unrecognized, similar to the effect I've woven into my armor. Wearing this, you can't be recognized, not even by me. It's that powerful. Of course, I'll always know it's you.’
Just like when Ashin touched her lip, Spencer did as well remembering the mark. The kiss, her first kiss with the woman burned with pain yet she wanted more. She always wanted more; there was something intoxicating about the former Empress. It wasn’t just the attention Spencer received, it was something more. Spencer opened her eyes staring into the darkness; there was so much that had happened to them through the course of meeting everything made her want to stay by the woman more and more. Nothing could pull her away from Ashin, no one or anything not even death.
‘I rule a quarter of the galaxy, but sometimes, in my heart of hearts, when I'm with you I just feel like a moth looking at a fire.’
No Ashin, I’ve always been drawn to you…even when I was a child; I always knew I’d meet you one day….
Sighing softly she knew the force worked in mysterious ways, though in this aspect Spencer wondered if this was the plan that Velok had worked out, if this was his ultimate goal for her. Spencer was now the Queen of the Echani, one of the more powerful Mentalist Specialist in the galaxy, and here she was lying in the bed that belonged to her and one of the most powerful women in the galaxy. Falling back into the pillow she looked up at the ceiling, her mind worked through her own memories and not the one she had seen in her dream. She enjoyed her own memories far more than the boy brining his Master back. Spencer closed her eyes and sighed softly, she still felt her heart racing from what she had seen during her sleep.
Focusing on her own memories to calm her, she remembered Mimbaan. It was their sanctuary before thePeregrine; there Spencer learned from Ashin, felt the effects of the Kaiburr crystal and became protected from pheromones. She could remember the burn that surged through her during the process and in that moment she realized everything Ashin was doing was to protect her. Hazel eyes shot open as she came face to face with the ceiling again. Everything that lead up to this moment was to protect her, Ashin in her own way created a world to protect Spencer. Sitting up she started to move her fingers as she counted the things she had been given or offered.
“The bloodtrail, the necklace, the mask, the identity, the training, the alchemy, and now the fleet…everything she made and developed…”
Spencer sat there in the shock of her realization, she knew what she had done, she knew that she had given up her home on Dathomir, she had given up her relationship with her father, she gave up the light and it was all just to keep the fire that was Ashin. Tossing the plush toy from her lap she slipped out of the bed. Her mind quickly flashed to one of the worst moments in her life, it was worse than when she nearly felt Ashin die on Roche, it was what changed her entire life, both of their lives.
Ashin had cancer and it was eating her alive…
‘I'm dying, Spencer. It was only a matter of time’
Spencer no matter how long they lived she would always remember this nightmare and it would replay in her mind forever. It was a reminder that she only had moments with Ashin even if they lived well beyond their mortal limits; everything was just a brief moment in time. Spencer closed her eyes as she walked through the dark hallway of the Peregrine towards the library, her bare feet sticking slightly to the cold floor. Standing in her sports bra and loose fitting Echani training slacks she ran her fingers across the small collection of data pads. She had pirated a few of the archives from the Jedi temple with her memory enhancement and she knew there was one she had pirated through the holonet. It was the same data pad she had seen in her dream. Finally finding it she grasped the information and quickly lit up the pad. Using her finger she swiped through it quickly going through the information. It was then she found the reasoning behind her brief memory. The article on the force power known as Dark Transfer read…
“An extremely rare force power that allowed the user to bring others back to life from the brink of death, it could only be accessed through the dark side”
Spencer drew the data pad to her chest as she thought about this. A power that brought people back from the brink of death, it wasn’t like Dark Repair or the power that she possessed from her learnings at the Jedi Temple. This was something all its own, powerful and one of the strong rare powers that were out there with the force. Her fingertips pressed against the back of the data pad, nothing felt real as she let herself fall to her knees. This was the information she had been looking for, this was the power that she had desired more than anything. If she knew, if she could figure this power out – she would never have to lose Ashin. Closing her eyes she knew what it meant, it meant letting herself fall for a moment, feeling the surge of power from the dark side. Would she be able to do that? Would she be okay with letting her balance slip?
Pulling the data pad from her chest she looked back down at it. The words being read over and over again as she tried to figure if she was capable of it. Extremely rare, and only accessed through the dark side of the Force. Resting back on her feet, Spencer sat on her knees and just stared at the words, letting them absorb into her mind. She remembered once more, the moment between her and Ashin on the beach, she could do this, she had to do this one way or another.
‘I would give everything; I would give everything just to keep you here. I’d give up the force just to be able to see you the next day. Ashin, I’ll always be yours. I don’t want anyone else. Give me more time please, I’ll find a way to make everything better please Ashin…’
“I would give anything, even everything I’ve strived for. I’ve fallen and returned several times – I can do this. I’m not going to lose her, never I’m never going to lose anyone.”
Chapter 5 - Flawed
The sound of metal ripping apart by something stronger than it echoed in her mind, the ship being torn apart by something or someone. Spencer stood there helpless as she watched as the bridge of the ship, a place where she was headed disappeared in a flash of light. The sirens shattered the silence, but Spencer remained staring into the void that was left of the bridge. That day had come, where she was once more alone.
A hand pressed against the window near the bed on the Peregrine, Spencer found herself trying to find fresh air despite being in space. Of course, the door wouldn’t open, but the chill of Space clung to the window giving the girl some sense of reality. Sitting up, she coughed gagging at the heat that her body was giving off from the stress of the dream. They always felt so real, the nightmares which always seemed worse when Ashin wasn’t next to her. The woman had a sense of calm about her, but that calm was gone and Spencer couldn’t return it. A glass of water shook on the nightstand as she reached over and clutched it. The cool liquid touched her lips and she gulped it down, it calmed her for the time being. Fingers pressed against the glass tightly, till her knuckles were white, it was only doing things like this that reminded her that she was alive - that this was real. Staring at it, she rotated the glass slightly as if she searched for some sort of answer with in the glass. When it didn’t give her an answer or an answer she had been searching for, her fingers released it and the glass rolled from her grasp onto the bed. The glass laid there and in a bout of frustration it flung across the room shattering against the wall.
“Useless”
Spencer spoke quietly as she found some way to get out of bed, it felt like ages since she felt the chill of the cold ground against the soles of her feet. Despite the urging of Ashin and her Mother, she chose not to wear shoes or socks while they were aboard the Peregrine...or anywhere else in that matter. If she could get away with it, she would be naked for most of her days. Though as much as some would appreciate it, Spencer didn’t feel comfortable enough to expose herself to anyone besides Ashin. The sound of warm feet sticking to the cold ground echoed as Spencer wandered into the kitchen area, she decided it was time she attempted to eat something. Holding her stomach she listened to its protest, yet the longer she stood there the more she wanted to just retreat back to the bed. So she did so.
Her face collapsed into the bed, her face falling into the pillow that the other woman would sleep on. It still smelled like her, everything still carried her scent. Spencer buried her face into the pillow taking in what she could and then she cried. Laying there till she couldn’t feel her tear ducts anymore, Spencer finally rolled over and looked at her hands. She was a trained healer, she was something special according to Ashin. Why did she continuously lose those that she cared for? Anger swelled inside of her a knot building in the pit of her stomach as she sat up and continued to look at her hands.
“I lost track of things. I assumed we had fixed them - that it was the answer. Damnit! Damnit!”
As much as she wanted to throw things everywhere, she couldn’t. Sitting there in her pit of self pity, Spencer Jacobs continued to cry. The image of the bridge once more filled her mind, who could have had that power to rip a ship like that apart and then hurl it into hyperspace? No name’s came to mind, but she would find out - even if it killed her.
Moving a hand through her starting to dampen hair, Spencer focused on the one thing that could keep her sane. She found herself constantly focusing on this point