Approved NPC Venessa-Void Kenobi

[TJ The Star Warrior]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION



Intent: The template of TJ'S Force Incarnation (not why I'm making this NPC) and a good friend of TJ'S



Image Credit: N/A



Role: Someone that TJ trusts(thus being the template of his Force Incarnation) and loves. She was also a Padawan of TJ'S Jedi Master



Permissions: N/A



Links: N/A



PHYSICAL INFORMATION



Age: 18



Force Sensitivity: Apprentice/Padawan



Species: Near-Human



Appearance: 5"6', elfish ears, Jedi Robes



SOCIAL INFORMATION



Name: Venessa-Void Kenobi, The Void Force Witch, Voidy(TJ 's pet name for her )



Loyalties: TJ only (At least now)




Wealth: N/A




Notable Possessions: Her Lightsaber and a special ring that TJ gave her(she doesn't know it has a Kyber Crystal)




Skills: Reading history books on everything. Testing out her ability with the force



Languages: Basic and some dorid speak



Personality: Her over to of the force has made her a little ditzy, but she is quite smart and kind.



COMBAT INFORMATION



Weapon of Choice: Lightsaber (the force is a ability after all)




Combat Function: She fights if it's her only choice, she tends to run and evaded. She knows the most basic of Lightsaber forms




Force Abilities (Force Users Only): Force Judgment, she can lift herself with the force (not by double jumping)



Strengths:
She is super smart
Her force abilities are stronger than most
She is the granddaughter of A Kenobi
When she is angry her force abilities are strong as the dark side can cloud her mind



Weaknesses:
Her ditzyness makes her seem stupid
She can't always control of the force
She can get coky
She tends to run from fights knowing her arrogance makes her coky


HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Her parents intrusted Venessa-Void into the Jedi Master Ryan Sharpsteen's care. He trained her in the way of the Jedi, moves such Force Judgement, force push, and control the force in general. Also he taught her to not just rely on the lightsaber. He also taught her the history, both sides. He believed in her when others didn't. Venessa-Void was happy to learn. When she first met TJ she had instantly fallen in love with him, even though she knew he was a Palpatine's grandson. She vowed to protect him. And with the help of freinds, she did so, till her ship was shoot from the sky above Tattatoonie while trying to help TJ escape bounty hunters and TJ thought she was dead. Now, she is searching for TJ

 

[Darth Strosius]

TJ The Star Warrior

First of all I'd like to say that I love that you're fleshing out a previous submission with another one, I am very much a fan of that myself! However there are a few hiccups and corrections I'd like to discuss with you before I can approve your sub here.

Firstly Humans don't have any sort of weird ears or other features, but Near-Humans which are pretty much just Humans with extra features and whatnot do. So if you'd like to keep those then I'd suggest changing the species to that.

Secondly there isn't really English in Star Wars, what you're thinking of from the movies and what everyone most commonly speak is Basic which is the galactic standard language so that will need to changed as well.

Thirdly, and this is a big one, I'm afraid that she can't be the granddaughter of Obi-Wan as we know that he never had any children and we don't really modify Canon here. Also given the massive timegap between the events of the movies and the timeline here on the site, we're over 800 years in the future by the way, she would have died a long time ago if she were the granddaughter of any Canon character pretty much. That being said she can still be a Kenobi as Obi-Wan wasn't the only Kenobi, just a distant descendant of the family rather than a direct descendant of the man himself.

Fourthly while you have filled out everything necessary, glad to see it, we do like to see a bit more details. Specifically in the areas of Combat Function, Strengths, Weaknesses, and Historical Information. In particular Combat Function and Strengths/Weaknesses are crucial for us to understand how this NPC would work in roleplay. For instance, in Combat Function now you have that she only fights if it is her choice, which is a good detail, but how does she fight when she has to? Does she prefer to run and evade or is she a direct fighter that tries to end battles quickly? What Lightsaber Forms does she know? Details like that.

Similarly in Strengths and Weaknesses we do like to see a bit more detail there, to give some idea on how these Strengths/Weaknesses work in different situations. How adept is she at fighting or using the Force for instance, does she hesitate and allow her enemies to get the advantage because of it? Some more details to make these really seem real.

Other than that I like where you're going and I can't wait to see how you add on to this!

 

[TJ The Star Warrior]

TJ The Star Warrior

First of all I'd like to say that I love that you're fleshing out a previous submission with another one, I am very much a fan of that myself! However there are a few hiccups and corrections I'd like to discuss with you before I can approve your sub here.

Firstly Humans don't have any sort of weird ears or other features, but Near-Humans which are pretty much just Humans with extra features and whatnot do. So if you'd like to keep those then I'd suggest changing the species to that.

Secondly there isn't really English in Star Wars, what you're thinking of from the movies and what everyone most commonly speak is Basic which is the galactic standard language so that will need to changed as well.

Thirdly, and this is a big one, I'm afraid that she can't be the granddaughter of Obi-Wan as we know that he never had any children and we don't really modify Canon here. Also given the massive timegap between the events of the movies and the timeline here on the site, we're over 800 years in the future by the way, she would have died a long time ago if she were the granddaughter of any Canon character pretty much. That being said she can still be a Kenobi as Obi-Wan wasn't the only Kenobi, just a distant descendant of the family rather than a direct descendant of the man himself.

Fourthly while you have filled out everything necessary, glad to see it, we do like to see a bit more details. Specifically in the areas of Combat Function, Strengths, Weaknesses, and Historical Information. In particular Combat Function and Strengths/Weaknesses are crucial for us to understand how this NPC would work in roleplay. For instance, in Combat Function now you have that she only fights if it is her choice, which is a good detail, but how does she fight when she has to? Does she prefer to run and evade or is she a direct fighter that tries to end battles quickly? What Lightsaber Forms does she know? Details like that.

Similarly in Strengths and Weaknesses we do like to see a bit more detail there, to give some idea on how these Strengths/Weaknesses work in different situations. How adept is she at fighting or using the Force for instance, does she hesitate and allow her enemies to get the advantage because of it? Some more details to make these really seem real.

Other than that I like where you're going and I can't wait to see how you add on to this!

Fixed

 

[Darth Strosius]

TJ The Star Warrior

Alright I'm glad to see that you made some changes! I would still like to see some more detail though, especially in Historical Information. What history did her master teach her? What did she excel in in training? Where and why was she shot down? Things like to help flesh her out a bit more.

I would like to see a bit more detail in the Strengths/Weaknesses as well. When she gets stronger does she lose control due to the Dark Side clouding her mind with anger for instance. She's cocky but avoids fights, does she get arrogant or self-assured at all and leave herself open to attack? Stuff like that.

 

[TJ The Star Warrior]

TJ The Star Warrior

Alright I'm glad to see that you made some changes! I would still like to see some more detail though, especially in Historical Information. What history did her master teach her? What did she excel in in training? Where and why was she shot down? Things like to help flesh her out a bit more.

I would like to see a bit more detail in the Strengths/Weaknesses as well. When she gets stronger does she lose control due to the Dark Side clouding her mind with anger for instance. She's cocky but avoids fights, does she get arrogant or self-assured at all and leave herself open to attack? Stuff like that.

Better

 

[Darth Strosius]

TJ The Star Warrior

Alright, good work and I can't wait to see how your story evolves from here!

APPROVED