Private To the Source - Solo Thread

[Jasper Kai'el]

To the Source
Dantooine​

Jasper had put it off for long enough. He couldn't say he didn't want answers any longer. The duelist was well aware of the fact that he was a clone. That didn't satisfy his curiosity. He wanted to know why he existed. Why the Jedi who had created him was so hellbent on replicating himself, and better yet why after all that he abandoned Jasper and left him to the New Jedi Order. Dantooine was a strange location to hide out on. It was in the depths of Imperial Territory, which was off and on hostile to the Jedi, but when he arrived on the planet Jasper immediately understood why his creator had chosen it. Dantooine was flat, empty, and barely populated. It's the kind of place Jasper imagined himself hiding on if things really went bad... And that terrified him. It didn't take long for him to locate the old Jedi. The image of a lone man perched upon a distant hill was enough for Jasper to know where he was. He had found him: Jastile Kai'el.

The duelist approached the man, wordless at first. He took in the scenery. It was quiet, serene... unusual given the nature of the planet's occupiers.

"Beautiful, isn't it," Jastile piped up, the hood remaining over his head. "It stretches for miles like this, all untouched by the hands of civilization. All that rules this little pocket of the galaxy is the natural order of life, dictated by the will of the living Force," the old Jedi sighed, his lungs seeming to crackle with age. "Unfortunate that I chose this place to plant my feet. The only thing I carry with me is sorrow."

The man stood, turning to face Jasper. The young padawan couldn't find the words to say. He had been expecting so many things. Rage, zealotry, moral superiority... A Jedi consumed by a goal so much that he was willing to abandon his own creation. Instead, all that stood before him was a sad, empty shell. A fraction of a man. What could he say?

"You took long enough to get here," Jastile continued, leaning on his staff. "That doesn't surprise me. I imagine you spent that time researching everything you could find about me. That's what I would've done. I guess you already know what I am."

"Yeah," Jasper responded, his voice hardening. "I do."

"Then I suppose you need an explanation for all of it," the old man reasoned.

"Need?" the duelist echoed, his voice raising. "No, I don't need an answer. I deserve one! Do you have any idea what you did to me!? I grew up alone, shunned by my peers and scolded by my teachers for things about myself I couldn't change. Nobody ever came to explain anything to me! How the galaxy works, how to to deal with stress and sorrow, or to process any of the thoughts in my head for that matter. Hell, nobody wanted to even train me to be a Jedi until I willingly went to a warzone! I had to find everything on my own. I'm only just now putting myself back together after the mess you left me in. So why the HELL DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT I NEED!"

Jasper fell to his knees. Tears began to stream down his face, trickling off his cheeks and rolling off his water-repellant flight suit. In his entire life, Jasper had never had an outburst like that. That wasn't just anger, it was rage. Bottled up tension he had unwillingly pent up over the span of his life, now dragged up to the surface. How would his friends react? The masters at the Temple? It didn't matter anymore. Jasper just wanted all of this to be over. He wanted to move on with his life.

"Why did you do it?" Jasper asked, his voice fluttering as he continued to cry.

"Because I was afraid," Jastile stated, his voice heavy with regret. The man turned, facing the setting sun in the distance. "I was a Jedi Guardian. A paragon of peace. A light that dared to venture forwards into the darkness and strike it down at the roots. It wasn't because I was brave. I was a coward, too scared that my beloved galaxy... my beloved Galactic Alliance would be swallowed whole by the gaping maw of the dark side. I tried everything I could to ensure that the galaxy would be secure past my own departure. I trained students, studied the Force to harness it in ways never seen before... I even studied the history of the Sith in order to find weaknesses in their foundation. All I found was stress, anxiety, anger... I had become a desperate animal, hell-bound on finding a way to continue to combat the Sith long after my death. So, I decided if I couldn't count on anyone else to continue the battle, I'd leave it in the hands of myself. A part of me, anyways. You were meant to be my greatest creation; a force sensitive being unlike which the Galaxy hadn't seen in thousands of years. You were to inherit my abilities, the memories of my combat experience... I even experimented with extending your natural life by incorporating Anzat DNA into your genome, though I only managed to extend your lifespan by a few hundred years. In that darkness I found myself in, I resolved to weaponize the force in flesh. When it was all said and done, my clouded judgement faded away, I had you. A boy who, in truth, wasn't the prodigy I had hoped to create. I hadn't made a weapon... I had created life: A child who's life would never be the same because he was forged in a lab from my own genetic information."

Jastile turned, facing Jasper. While his hood covered his face, the young padawan could make out something on the old man's cheeks that reflected the faint light of the evening. He was crying. After all the anxiety Jasper had experienced, the concern that his creator would take pride in his actions, he was greeted with genuine remorse.

"I don't have the right to tell you anything, boy," the old warrior sighed. "I don't have the right to even call myself a Jedi master, not anymore. I've toyed with the natural order of the Galaxy, dedicated myself to creating weapons instead of upholding peace, and ran from my mistakes when it mattered the most. For that, I apologize."

"I-" Jasper began, but Jastile raised a hand to stop him from speaking.

"Don't," the man asked, trying to keep his composure. "I don't deserve your forgiveness. It's already enough that I've taken your thoughts. All I ask is that you leave this place and make peace with your truth... and forget me."

"And leave you here to do what!?" Jasper snapped. "Wait to die alone?"

"I am not alone," Jastile told him. "The Force is with me, even if I am not worthy of it. I felt it when I connected with your mind to call you here: Hopes, dreams, concern... You've made connections, despite the crippled state I left you in. Judging by you now, these emotions have only grown. You may have much to learn, but you've surpassed me as a Jedi in every imaginable way. You have a bright future ahead of you, Jasper Kai'el. I won't allow you to waste any of your time trying to fit in an old fool you owe nothing to."

"B-but I still have so many things left to ask," Jasper protested. "I-I'm not ready."

"You are," the old man assured him. "You'll understand in time. There's nothing for me to give you. What you need is out there amongst the stars."

They stood there for a moment in silence. Jasper needed to linger on the old man's words for a while, and Jastile seemed to recognize this. The padawan let the sensations of Dantooine wash over him: The whistling of the wind, the rustling of the golden plains, sounds of creatures beginning to stir as day crept into night... It was calming, but Jasper couldn't help but think about how the moment could be better if he could share it with his friends. In that moment, he understood. It was time for Jasper to leave.

"Thank you," Jasper finally said, his tears now dry.

"Go on," Jastile began with a faint smile, gesturing to the padawan's ship in the distance. "There's somewhere you need to be."

They didn't exchange goodbyes. Neither needed to. What needed to be said had, and Jasper was ready to face the people he knew with his truth. He wasn't a clone, or some successor to a man he didn't know. He was Jasper Kai'el, and he was going to become a Jedi Knight. The padawan returned to his ship, his doubts and anger left behind on Dantooine, a final burden that Jastile Kai'el had left to bare. As the Philosopher departed, taking towards the stars, Jastile turned to face the setting sun once more, pulling down his hood and allowing the light of the star to fill his grey eyes.

"I'm ready," the Jedi Master said, a smile spreading across his face. "Take me."

In that moment, finally at peace with himself, Jastile let the universe pull him away. His body faded, the clothes on his back and staff in his hand dropping to the ground, sending a cloud of dust billowing out...

Caught up in the wind.

End​