They Want to Break Me, and Wash Away My Colors

[Ignatius]

I always enjoyed a walk. They calmed me down and helped me to reduce the stress that I had in my life. With becoming one of the head students of Vur Tepe, Training [member="Sahna Te"], and as always, doing my best to try and fight the demons that have been plaguing my mind. I still seemed to come back to them. Always. While recently they have been not attacking me as often, I still felt them in the back of my mind. My demons, my sins, and my father's sins that I needed to repent for.

Stop it.

Shaking my head, I needed to clear my mind. I needed to get a better frame of mind for me to even get close to the opening that my own mentor, [member="Jyn Sol"], had showed me. A place where I could be alone. A place where I could focus myself and my energies. Ever since she had told me to come here and practice meditation, to strengthen my mind and spirit with, and without the force, I had been doing so on a regular basis. Recently I hadn't due to working on various projects, but I was going to attempt to make up for it.

I cleared my mind a little more from the thoughts. Entering the clearing once more to see no one there. Part of me always wished that I could have found Jyn here in meditation, so we could maybe catch up. However, it seemed she was very busy. Hearing just little snidbits of her life being quite interesting with another one of our members. However, I could not fault her. I seemed to have a... close relationship with Sahna. It was a strange one. That much is true. I felt like an older brother to her. Someone she looked up to, but also intimidated her simply because I was so knowledgeable compared to her. I was supposed to be her teacher, and in the process, found a friend and an ally to call upon.

I wanted to know more about our relationship, but I had no clue how to bring it up to her. I have never had a relationship like I have had before. Sure in grade school I had a girlfriend. But that was nothing compared to this. Then, it was a status symbol to be dating someone from a well known family. Here? It doesn't matter who you are. You are nothing out here in the galaxy. Yet, the Je'daii once more seemed to prove me wrong. Their tightly knit group of force users, as well as the citizens who happened to be in this system were very much accommodating to when I first came. A darker individual who saw the darkness within him, and wanted to control it. Even when I had handed over my fathers holocron to Jyn, I barely felt any darkness from it. However, she felt so much, that she didn't even want to touch it. It showed me how much I have to learn and grow to become a more balanced individual.

Coming back to the present, I still found the place empty. Just the natural wild life around me. I slowly drew in a fresh breath of air, and slowly exhaled through my mouth. Calming myself, I began to remove my shirt. Walking to the normal rock that I would sit upon that was near the outskirts of the pond. Using the shirt as a sort of sitting pad. I crossed my legs and relaxed myself. Sitting up straight and just calmed myself. Listening to ebbs and flows of the wind and the jungle around me. Rippling of the water, and the wildlife that grew around it. I slowly began to center myself.

The feeling was calming. Just listening to what was around me. Feeling the soft wind. I knew it had been too long since I had been here that I was missing this. The chance to come out here and to feel and experience this. The problem was, this feeling didn't last very long. Even as I sat here, doing nothing, I began to feel something creeping up into my mind. This started to feel painful. Like a headache or a migraine that was caused by bright lights and a hangover. I shook my head trying to physically get rid of whatever it was, yet it still persisted. I was then frozen to the spot. Unable to move or speak. I could feel someone's eyes on me. Piercing eyes that judged every part of my being.

Nickolas.

I could hear his voice as it entered my head.

"Oh the child still believes he can fix the impossible. Fight and beat the impossible. How endearing."

His words were filled with malice and hatred towards me. Knowing that his words would anger and send me over the edge. I wanted so deeply to end this now. To draw my promises and use them as a weapon against him. Send him back into the Netherworld where he literally crawled out of.

"You wish to end me. To rid the galaxy of some great evil? How could I be evil when I created you? You are born of my loins. You are my son. My creation. Nothing will change that. If you really feel like you need to end this, Come to Arkania. You know where I reside."

I could feel his presence. I knew he wasn't really there. However, I fought him with everything I had. I gave into my anger, my hatred, but I didn't let it control me. I used the love for my friends, the hope I carried of a new world where people could be safer from the likes of my father. I spoke very simply and plainly back to this mental projection.

"I will be coming. I will finish what was started years ago."

I could feel the smile from the monster. I could almost hear the chuckling in his voice. Without another word, the presence vanished. He left me once more in this grove. Alone and with the wildlife. However, tainted, and distraught. Attempting to calm myself, I couldn't. The challenge he gave me was stronger than ever. My blood boiled to finish this. Standing up, I retrieved my shirt, and began preparations for this encounter.

 

[Ignatius]

I sat in my room. Unsure what I was supposed to do. I felt utterly alone. This was something that I had to do on my own. However, I didn't want to just up and leave. I needed to have some kind of reason for going. Seeing this through, I started to write a message. One that would detail where I was going, and if I were not to return, to not search for me. Yes, it was kind of dark, yes it was essentially a suicide note, but I needed to be done with this. I needed to end what my father had started. Gathering my gear, all that I had, I made sure it was tight on me as I prepared to leave. Leaving the note behind in my room, and sitting on the table with the door just slightly open.

I was fully prepared for this. I accepted my fate that I would potentially be returned to the ground. I might become nothing more than ashes that float around the world. However, I had to do this. I needed to accept my fate, and take control over my soul. For the first time in my life, I held back a tear. One that was shed for the world that I could potentially be leaving behind. Opening my eyes as I stood at the door, looking down at my boots, I angrily sent a fist pounding into the wall. I punched a hole through the wall and into my room. There was a nice arm shaped hole right about my shoulder height that you could look directly into my room with.

I hated this. I hated every moment and every decision I had made. If I just hadn't made friends or allies, then I wouldn't be so weak. So flimsy in my emotions. Holding all of the anger and rage behind my heart, I walked away. Heading through the halls as some student who had been bunked across the hall from me was yelling down the hall if something was wrong. Seeing the hole I left in my room, he ran up towards me. Attempting to stop me from whatever I was doing.

"Hey, Ignis. Calm down man. Whatever it is, we can work on it. I am sure that w-"
"Shut up."
"Why? You just punched a hole through your wall? You know you a-"

Reaching around, I grabbed the man by his neck. Lifting him up with one arm. Throwing him against the wall as his gargled fighting was effortless against me. I held him there for a second before releasing him to let him sink to the floor. His face was filled with fear and confusion. I could feel his raw emotions. But more powerful than the fear, was the pity, and the sorrow he felt for me. Whatever had caused me to become the person I am, he wanted to help me fix. I could feel every thought he had. Yet I fought him, and would do this alone.

"I need to leave."

Starting to walk away from him. I stopped midstep. Closing my eyes and feeling once more that I was holding back more tears. I truly was becoming the monster my father said I was.

"I'm sorry. I left a note in my room for those who need it."

I clenched my fist. Slowly and gently placing it against the wall. I wanted to make another hole. To destroy something. Anything. Even myself. And that was wrong. I was moving in the wrong direction. Letting my head drop down to my chest, the man stood up. Despite what I had done to him, he placed a hand on my shoulder. He knew I was going through something I needed to do. Something that I needed to get past. I needed to find my demons, and accept them. Accept who I am, what I am. If I can't, then I may as well never come back. Releasing me, I could hear his footsteps moving down the hallway and opening my room. Likely taking the message to whoever it was that needed it.

I waited a second more. Fighting every fiber of my being to turn around and to deliver the note in person.

My feet moved for me. My body carried me to my ship. The House of the Rising Sun sat in the hangar bay. Ready to be used and waiting for me. Walking up the ramp, it began to close before I had even walked half way up. Locking tight as I finally closed a portion of my life. Turning on the engines and firing everything up, I slowly move the ship out of the hangar and out into the open air. Speeding it towards outer orbit. As I did so, I recalled what I had written down for Jyn, Asha, and Sahna.

Everyone,

I need to apologize to you. The time I have spent here was good for me. It has slowly shaped me into a better person. With all of your help, I have been able to feel and experience emotions and feelings I thought I would never have. Knowing that you all were there for be, to back me up, to even defend me is an honor. To see the place and what it has become and been created because of the Je'daii and those who are within the order is a marvel to me. One that I hold dear to my heart.

I am sorry, but I must go. I have been called by my father to seek him out. To end what I had set out to do. However, I do not fear what I need to do. I accept it completely. It is my charge that I need to carry. I know I have cause many, pain that cannot be rectified. And so, I am going to be gone for a bit. Should I not return within some time, know that I accepted who I am, what I am. I have become someone who I am proud to be.

I care for you all. I love you all.

Ignis Imura



The ship climbed into the atmosphere. The note reading itself over and over in my head. Feeling as though it were threatening to break through and cause me to actually feel pity and sad for myself now. However, I fought it the best I could. Holding it back as I wound up the systems for the Hyperdrive. Fully prepared for what may come next, I threw it into gear.

Headed to Arkania.

 

[Ignatius]

Calmed.

I was getting control over myself. Wishing to just turn back and fix the wall that I had broken in. Or to aid in the mending of the other student's neck that I would clearly have bruised and reddened. I might even be set before the council for a trial. I had wronged someone. I had harmed someone in anger. It was wrong to do that. I knew what I had done was over the top. I let my emotions get the best of me. Even now, I knew I had much to learn. Much to do. If I were to defeat my father, then I knew that I still had a long road ahead of me. One that would require years of work and dedication to the Je'daii Order.

I laid in my bed as the ship was running on auto pilot. I had a timer in my room to about how long it should take for me to get there. I had a couple hours left before I would reach Arkania. A planet that had been frozen over. A planet that had long been a place where I had lived. For some time while Nickolas and my mother, Lexa had lived. It was their home away from Kro Var. A place where they could be on their own. A place where it was secluded from the rest of the galaxy. While after Caleo was born, I remember moving to Kro Var, my birth place, I still missed the snow. The ice and the cold was always comforting to me. Thinking about it, I just had random thoughts as a child. Running after Nick as I chased him in the snow. Lexa, my mother smiling, however yet always sad. Almost as though she knew something else was going on.

I moved on from that thought as the alarm started to go off. Getting up, I gathered my gear. Putting on some warmer clothing and prepared to land the ship. Bringing it down into the main city, Everything felt like a breeze as I walked through the city. Moving past others and across traffic on the ground. Speeders flying by in the busy structure of the Arkanians. A few offshoots were on a corner talking to themselves with dataphones in their hands. They looked up at me and just stared. Not sure if because of what I am, or they were just curious about who I was. However, it was answered quickly with one of the girls shoving an elbow into the other. Giggling a little as they looked away. I shook my head and went on about my day.

Well, what was left of it.

The planet was slowly turning. The sun falling into the horizon as I neared my old home. The little house away from everything else still stood. The windows and the walls and the roof still stood, yet covered in snow as they had not been cleared in years. Reaching down to my side, I pulled out Oathkeeper. My sword that I had created for this moment. A blade that I would always carry with me. It was a testament to what I have become. The man have have turned into. Opening the door, I slowly stepped past the threshold. As soon as I did, I could feel his presence again. Stabbing at my head. I spun around to see him standing just outside. Walking out into the snow once more, I held the blade down at my side.

"You really are the foolish child I thought you were."
"You continue to speak as though you know me."
"I have watched every day of your life. Ever moment you have been awake, or asleep. I watched over you. I gave you the strength to climb the volcano. To survive being swallowed by a Sarlacc. How else do you think you have gotten this far?"
"I fought for every inch."
"Then I guess you will be reaching for the stars, but stumble after a simple strand of hay."
"I don't seek the stars. I never sought them. I cannot change them."
"Oh how wrong you are."

In a flash, he had drawn the katana that he always used to cut me with. Use against me in training me to use a sword. The same blade that I hated with every fiber of my being. I readied myself. Bringing up the blade in a two handed grip much like he did as well. Staring at one another, we were on the very verge of fighting.

"Soon, very soon you will learn the truth."
"And what is that?"
"So much you do not understand."

Lashing out, he made the first strike. Swinging at me from my left. Stepping back, I avoided the strike. I wanted to strike, but held myself. I needed to get a gauge of what he was getting at. Why was he attacking me mentally and physically at the same time. I never knew him to do this.

"Why must you destroy and harm everything around you?"
"Its who I am. A broken and damaged person who hates the fact he created more monsters."
"If you hated the idea of us, then why keep us?"
"Your mother wanted children. She wanted a family. I tried to give that to her."
"Even if her love was for someone else?"

The anger and rage that played across his face let me know that I hit a hard and hurting nerve. He struck out at me with the force. Throwing a massive force push that was charged with flames that he created fro his hands. To his surprise, I rushed into the attack headlong. The force push did nothing to me. My strength and prowess in the Matukai aspect of the force allowed me to power through. While I just forged my way through the flames. Becoming what I was meant to be. The Aspect of Flame.

"How dare you."
"Speak the truth? How dare I?"
"I will burn you child"

Once more he threw flames at me. However, I pushed them to the side. Charging headlong at him once more, striking out towards his right side. Followed quickly with a backhand. Parrying it, he sent a fist right at my face. I took the full force of it. I felt the pain of the impact, but didn't move from my spot as I returned the fist. Slamming him hard in the chest with an uppercut. Flying into the air with such force, I followed after him. Using various aspects of the force to push myself off the ground at him. Swinging my sword into an uppercut once more and then spinning to kick him. The sword was buffed to the side, but my foot caught the man in the face. Sending him flying away from me and into the snow a dozen meters away. Using Telekinesis, I rushed down at him. Sending my sword to puncture his heart.

His hand came out and sent a force push. Having me sent flying backwards. I landed hard into the cold snow. My mind dazed from the impact. I leaned up to see Nick standing. Sword ready in his hands. I stood as well to meet him. He seemed to almost teleport to me. He moved so fast, I barely blocked the strike that scratched against my cheek. Cutting strands of my hair. His own hand grabbed me at the neck, and then threw me up into the air. Followed by a torrent of flame.

This was it. This is over.

 

[Ignatius]

The flames flew up at me. Swirling to encompass me in a torrent of flame. I had balled up and tried to defend myself in whatever way I could. Feeling the energy inside me. Part of me wanted to give up. Give in and to just accept that I would never change what I had set out to do. Yet, flashes in my head. Mother, Caleo, Kinta, Asha, Jyn, Sahna. They all stood there. Extending their hands. Willing to accept me. Willing to let me be a part of their lives. They were my friends. My family. However, Standing behind them, One single man. He looked and felt familiar. His voice echoed in my head as I was hanging in the air above my father. Being beaten with his absolute control over the flames.

"There are reasons to fight son. Your Family needs you. They are your foundation. Never forget them."

An eruption of the force around me shook the area. The booming echo reverberated on the house and shook all of the snow off. The entire ground was exposed to the dirt and ice. The snow flying in every direction as I, in the center of this, exploded with a wave of pure kinetic energy. The flames long gone, and my father on his rear. Fear was held in his face as I held my sword aloft, and came down upon him again. Using everything I had. THe force propelling me into the ground and slamming the sword through his chest.

I could feel it go into the ground and pin him to it. Standing up, I saw his face change. One of surprise, to be that of approval. One that I had never seen upon his face before. I was utterly confused. Attempting to figure out why he was smiling. Still pinned to the ground, his hand held aloft on the grip of the sword.

"You really have grown."
"Why the approval."
"I remember watching you being born. How tiny and small you seemed. Yet I could feel you. I felt your mind in the force. Strong and powerful. Taking well after myself and Nickolas."
"Nick? But wait..."
"Son, you have become someone I am more than proud of. I wish I could hold you tight and let you know it will all be okay."

Slowly, I watched as the man who was Nickolas, stood up from the sword pierced in the ground. His body unscathed. His frame never injured. His face changed and transformed. His entire being shifted to be that of a different person. Hair and face much like mine. Even various of the same tattoos I had. Having got them as family symbols and copying my uncle because I never really got to know him. Yet standing before me, was my uncle. The familiar voice once more spoke to me.

"Ignis. You are not the son of a Demon. Nickolas raised you as was asked of him. However, he is not your father."
"What... what do you mean?"
"Ignis, before Nick ever met your mother, Your mother and I... we had a child. She had become pregnant, and I had become scared. Afraid of what I had done. What I had created. I left. Joining in a war to prevent others from harming her, but in doing so, I hurt her."
"No. No no no no no.... I...."

My entire world was falling apart. Nickolas, He was the man who was tasked with raising me. He was the man who trained me and taught me how to be a killer. Yet, he was not my father. Looking up at my uncle, the sad smile was all of the truth. Everything he spoke about was real. I knew it. In my heart, I knew he wouldn't lie to me. He wouldn't deceive me.

"Ignis, I am the first born of my family. I am Morna Imura. Master Fire Shaper, Aspect of Fire, and the heir to the legacy of the Imura Bloodline. And now, so are you."

I was completely dumbfounded. My father, no, my uncle Nickolas, was only tasked with taking care of me. It was Morna, the oldest brother, who was, is my father. Looking up at him, I saw his face. A single tear was coming down his cheek. As real as anything else. He was here. He was talking to me. His first born, and only son.

"Tell me everything."
"I had died in the war. I perished before I could see that you were born. However, there was what is called the Netherworld event. Where Nickolas, had been transported into the land of the dead. I attached my soul to him. Not specifically him, but the lightsaber he carried. The lightsaber I had created for my bloodline. Only those who are the heirs to the name could use it. Ignis, that is you. Since then, I have been attached to the lightsaber. However, when you were born, I created a force bond with you. I attached myself to you. I watched over you. I really was there every step of your life. I watched your worst, and your best days."

Standing there for a moment, I had to take all this in. Understand that my father had transferred his essence into the ligthsaber, and then into me. I was his son. His legacy. Looking up at him, he then pointed to the sword behind him.

"Oathkeeper, is a fine and worthy blade of our name. Keep it. You will need it in the dangerous path you tread."
"Morn- Father. Why didn't you tell me. Why didn't you talk to me?"
"I don't have much strength left. I am still gathering my energies from creating the force bond with you years ago. So I had to draw on your own strength to speak to you."
"I... I am not sure what to say."

"Come, and let us talk."

 

[Ignatius]

It has been three weeks since I first left Aurum.

Time didn't seem important to either of us. Catching up on the time that I hadn't spent with him as a child, we talked about everything. My life, how his life was rather difficult, and how he overcame it. The family itself. How Caleo is my half sister, and Kinta was a slave of Nicks that then became his apprentice. We talked about the force. Him telling me new tricks or usage of the force. Much like his combination of the force push and flames or using telekinesis and pyromancy to hold someone in the air and burn them. Just like he had performed on me. I promised that I would do what he asked. Learn from his teachings. From father to son.

We had our moments. Him telling me all about how I was conceived and the memorable date of skinny dipping in lava with Lexa. More over, I had spent so much time talking with him, it only felt like hours. However, I was exhausted. Morna had told me to go to bed, and get some rest. And that he would be here in the morning. Following his instructions. I easily did fall asleep. Yet when I woke up, he wasn't here.

I searched the house, I looked outside. I couldn't find him anywhere. Even when I searched through the force into my soul and mind. I couldn't seem to find him. Accepting that this would be the last time I would ever see him, I found a blue holocron on the table that wasn't there the night before. Next to it was a piece of parchment. Picking up the holocron, I could feel Morna upon it. I could feel his essence within it. I knew what he did. I know why he did it. He wanted to give me my space. Now that I knew he had been watching over me.

Looking back to the note, I began to read it out loud to myself.

Ignis,

Son, I know I said I would awake in the morning with you, however, I cannot. As I said, I drew energy from you. However, to do so, I needed to use whatever I had left to meet you for the one and only time. I hated to do this to you, and I wanted to be completely truthful upfront, but I didn't want you to walk away from me. You needed to hear the truth from my lips. Lexa knows that you will find out at some point, and Nick is not keen on having you know this information. I once created a holocron that was left in the possession of Lexa and Nick. You once had it, but I am not sure how correct it is with the information. It is a much older version of me. One that I am not keen on you seeing. As such, I had Lexa collect all the information she could into this new holocron for you. Nick also helped, but I took over his body when he was asleep to aid in the creation. However, there was one piece missing.

You.

I needed to have you aid in this holocron. So I stole some of your power to send the rest of my soul into this holocron while you slept. I may not be in your head, however, I am still your father, and I will still look over you. This holocron has all of the information and correct lineage of the Imura family as to date. It also has teachings of all altering forms of Shaping, and alter environment. I know that you have Lucem who had a lot of information, so you yourself can add onto this holocron with whatever you like. There is plenty of room for more information.

Son, I love you. You are the heir to the throne. You are my legacy. Know that even if others say you are not, I claim you, and thus you are. Never sway from your family, and keep hold onto them. Take care of the Hexes as well. Jericho would likely be relieved to know that our time fighting against one another was well spent, but not in anger. Nickolas, I am not so sure. If you need help, please do go to him. He is a very good source of information for your fighting.

Last but not least, please visit your mother at some point. I know that she will be missing you, and please do talk to her about me. I wish I could be there to see the interaction, but sadly, I cannot. Son, may your flames stay bright, and your sword sharp.

Forever in your heart,
Morna Imura


I started to cry while reading the letter. Drops of my tears were wetting the letter. Keeping the note clutched to my chest, I fell to my knees. Accepting this conclusion to my father's story. His life had long been over. He accepted his fate and took charge of his soul. I needed to do this as well. I don't think he would mind me in this state for now. Understanding that all of this new information and inheritance would be mine to keep. However, I saw one last portion of the letter. Reading it silently,

PS: My Lightsaber is on Kro Var. Hidden by Lexa and kept safe for you. Return to her when you feel you are ready.

Nodding my head to the letter, I vowed, promised to do as he asked. Curling up into a ball, I cried myself to sleep on the cold floor.

 

[Ignatius]

Waking up

I found myself on the cold floor. The building that was my home, was not for me at the moment. I will return at a later date and reform it. Fix it to be a place were all of the legacy of the Imuras could stay. A place were we all could be welcome. No matter the dark or the light. A place to call home. Taking a hold of the holocron, I walked slowly away from my home.

The snow wetting my clothing once more, I didn't fight it. Walking through the city with the little cube in my hands, I held onto it as though my life depended upon it. Slowly I reached my ship. Taking a few moments to make food for myself. Eat something to stave off the massive hunger I had while I started to take the ship once more into outer orbit. I slowly made my way to the holocoms. Sending a single message to Aurum where any of my contacts could get it.

"I am returning."

Taking the hyperdrive, I threw it into gear.

Headed home.