Approved Location The Xa Fel Enclave

[AvRe]

[SIZE=26pt]The Xa Fel Enclave[/SIZE]











[SIZE=9pt]OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION[/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Intent[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: A military base under the control of the Corporate Protectorate, inhabited by sith.[/SIZE]
  
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  Image Credit: N/A
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Canon[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: N/A[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Links[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: The Corporate Protectorate, Xa Fel[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]SETTING INFORMATION[/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Military Base Name[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: The Xa Fel Enclave[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Classification[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Fort[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Location[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Xa Fel[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Affiliation[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: The Corporate Protectorate[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Population[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Sparse[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Demographics[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: The Enclave is inhabited by Sith, differing in the races that dwell in The Corporate Protectorate’s control.[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Accessibility[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: hidden far from any city on Xa fel.[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Description[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: A towering structure, resembling an academy of sorts, with two smaller sturctures to the left and right. A air field far from view. Crimson stairs leading to the main building. All Dark and foreboding.[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]POINTS OF INTEREST[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]The tallest structure, clad in dark durasteel, a large entry way, [/SIZE]resembling[SIZE=9pt] a gate( the main building, is home of the leader of the location), the air field to the far right, keeping many fighters and transport ships with a red runway, and the resident quarters to the left and right of the main structure, entry possible from the main [/SIZE]building through two moderately sized doors on each side of the main structure[SIZE=9pt].[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]SECURITY[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Moderate, the building is home to sith but there are few of them.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]HISTORICAL INFORMATION[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]During the beginning of the Corporate Protectorate there were plans for Sith enclaves to be built all across the Protectorate territory. This enclave was the first to be built. Located on the homeworld of the Corporate Protectorate. [/SIZE]

To ensure that no one would find the enclave, it was built far from any civilization. Rumors were also past to the people of Xa Fel to keep away from the building location. The Rumors detailed a dark cult that would take people in the night but most just assumed that they were stories.

 

[Kyyrk]

[member="Avery Regailis"]

Under review

 

[Kyyrk]

Aight, so just a quick couple comments, First being that no image loads for me, Dunno if there's supposed to be one, but since there appears to be no image, you can safely remove the image source, as there is no image TO source.

I'd also recommend going over the later half of the sub for consistency, because you say things like 'Hidden away from any city" yet later describe it as "A towering structure." Is the location supposed to be isolated? Hard to find? Big, scary, with bad dog signs everywhere, thus warning people to abandon all hope, ye who enter here? Definitely wouldn't hurt to spend some time going in to more depth on just how isolated/easy to find the location is.

Also, points of interest could do with some expansion, as it reads as if I'm already supposed to have an idea of what it looks like. Do bear in mind that while you already have a mental image of your location, and it's easy for you to summarize for yourself, other people have no idea what your goal or intent is, so you have to start from a completely blank slate.

I'll leave this open for a bit, lemme know if/when you wanna make edits.

[member="Avery Regailis"]

 

[AvRe]

ok, I toke care of the things you mentioned. [member="Voph"]