Private The Voice of the Broken

[Darth Ventrix]

Ghorua the Shark was giving her a choice of sorts. Yet at the moment she didn't know what she wanted. Her day by day was always a mystery. There were no plans in place, no schedule to keep. She just existed; granted an extension of that existance for no known reason at all. Abandonment felt strangely....commonplace.

"My character? No one likes what they see. They either attack me or run. There is no middle ground. Once your curiosity is satisfied, you'll run too." Not run scared, like the others, but run off for some other adventure or purpose like Morcus did.

Ventrix didn't make a move to order any tea or anything. She didn't expect that they would be talking for long. Nothing ever lasted, not even her sleep at night. But that was mostly due to her nightmares. She hated them like she hated most things these days.

Joy did not exist.

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

Ghorua frowned for a long while, letting Darth Ventrix's words hang in the air. The waiter took that particular moment to leave the Shark's tea on the table, and seeming to sense the sudden tension, simply left it and extricated himself.

Truly, she has changed. It wasn't just cosmetic, nor was it just memory. Something deep down about her had been altered by the tragedies she had endured. Maybe it had been happening for years. Whatever it was, he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

And then, he did.

Ghorua realized, with some dread, that Kay had resigned herself to her fate. She had accepted, whether consciously or not, that nothing could change, would change. The woman who had convinced him that he could grow, had decided that it was impossible to grow herself.

And with that, Ghorua's path forward had crystalized.

After that brief pause, Ghorua finally spoke. "Well, I'm not gonna attack you. So that leaves running."

The Shark picked up his tea, and after taking a small sip, realized with a bit of annoyance that it was half-empty. "Then again, I have no plans of running quite yet, either. I may have to start walking soon, though. I've got more business off-planet."

"It isn't my place to tell you what to do, who to be, what to think, whatever," Ghorua had that signature tone, that signature smile. Like he heard a silent voice tell a funny joke to him and him alone. "But if you wanted to walk with me for a while, I wouldn't object."

He let the subtle invitation hang in the air, trying his hardest not to press too hard.

 

[Darth Ventrix]

As Ghorua the Shark frowned in thought, she figured that he was pitying her, not that she would blame him. There were plenty that did, she was sure. But it wasn't as though she needed anything from any of them anyways.

And then he spoke up again. He wasn't going to attack and for the moment, he wasn't going to run either. But he would walk? That was a curious statement. He carried with it a bit of mirth, as though he knew something that was going to happen that she did not; something that either amused or delighted him.

For a moment Ventrix was going to deny him, her first thought being that he'd find some way to make fun of her. But then what other plans did she have? And certainly she could teach him a lesson if need be about crossing her.

"I'll go with you for a little while on this....walk of yours. I have no other plans."

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

Ghorua had half-expected his old friend to deny him. Everything that she had said up to this point would have led to that scenario. By the way their conversation had been going, and how little Ghorua had gotten through to her, he figured she would scoff, say no, and walk out to get herself into more trouble. At that point, there would have been very little the Shark could do but let her leave.

But the offer was accepted, and with that resolution, Ghorua's fears of that future were dispersed. His smile cracked open just a little further. "In that case, I should show you the ship. I mean, you've seen it before, but... ah... you haven't seen it before."

Ghorua finished his tea, leaving a clean pile of credits on the table, and stood up. His impressive frame and the sheer presence that oozed out of him took up all the space in the tea shop, He held out his hand, as if to shake.

"Welcome to the crew, Lady Kay."

- Darth Ventrix -

 

[Darth Ventrix]

She nodded at the offer to see his ship. No doubt it had to be a large one, given Ghorua the Shark 's size. Her lips pursed a little as she tried to see if she could remember what it looked like. Yet as always, all that she could come up with was only a feeling. It was like struggling to find a word for something and it keeps managing to slip away.

Once he got to his feet, she rose as well, looking down at his outstretched hand. Welcome to the crew? Here she had thought that he had literally meant that he needed to go for a walk. Now it seemed that he had meant something else entirely....

But she didn't decide to refuse him. When she said that she had no other plans, she had meant it. There was nothing for her right now but existing. So she slipped her small hand into the Shark's and shook it. "Thank you. I will do my best to serve you well."

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

Ghorua took Darth Ventrix's hand, and shook it lightly, conscientious of his strength. The movement was followed by a tilted head and a half-smile. "You don't work for me. You work with me, for as long as you want to."

The bounty hunter left the tea shop, stooping to get through the threshold. It was a short walk to the ship; Ghorua had chosen this cafe in particular because of it's proximity to his vessel. In case this meeting hadn't gone well. The Shark was glad to see that the opposite was true.

After being admitted into the spaceport, Ghorua led Kay to docking bay seven, where his ship rested on it's landing gear. It had been a little banged up upon entry, so Ghorua was glad to see the repairs had gone well.

"This is the Jawsome." He brow creased a little as he said the name. "I didn't name it. But the people that did name it also built it, and it's an incredible ship, so I don't have the heart to change it. Comes with a pool, a high-gravity training room, and a biot jelly holding area, among other things."

Ghorua had been told when he had first acquired the ship that dark-side forcies would feel uncomfortable inside, thanks to the synthweave. If Kay had truly gone down that path, she may feel a slight discomfort upon entering.

 

[Darth Ventrix]

If Ghorua the Shark could see behind her mask, he would see her eyebrows raised in surprise. She was working with him as opposed to for him. There was no pressure being put on her for it at all, and she rather liked that. So she bowed her head in response.

She followed the Shark to the spaceport, paying attention to those that they passed. Some gave them a wide birth and she wasn't entirely certain if it was due to the Shark or for her. Either way she didn't complain.

The Jawsome looked unique in it's design, and large enough to cater to him. Yet it was when she got inside that she really noticed what made the vessel special. Her insides turned, or rather what was left of them did. One hand went to her ribs after a sudden flash of...memory? She nearly lost her balance as she felt as though she had been kicked there, stumbling forward until she could brace herself against a wall. Her other hand went to her lightsaber, not so much to use it but to ensure that it was still there. Her breathing became laboured, causing her to unclip her mask and remove it, letting it fall to the floor. Her face was paler than it had been, yet aged all the same, with the fine lines and wrinkles of someone in their early 50's would have. Her eyes however had gone orangey yellow, staring at the floor as she tried to make some sense of what was going on.

Whatever it was, neither her mind nor her body was at ease.

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

Ghorua had expected some response.

He hadn't expected it to be so visceral.

Ghorua noted the change in breathing almost as quickly as it started, turning around and looking on in concern as she stumbled, put a hand on her laser sword, and took off her mask.

"Hey, you okay?" He stepped closer, as if to help support her, before holding back a moment.

It was her face. It was her face. Older, like his own, but with those eyes. Those awful, burning, corrupted eyes. He knew what that meant. He knew why she was struggling

A part of him was disgusted. Not a part he was proud of, but a part of him nonetheless. That part roiled within him. How dare this thing puppet around Kay's body, tarnish her hands with murder, tarnish her face with yellow eyes? It was an angry, primal part within him, the stirrings of something that had long been dormant within the deepest recesses of his psyche.

Ghorua took a moment, allowed himself a single breath to compose himself, before looking at his friend concernedly once more. "We can take a different ship. I figured that might happen. I've been told synthweave does a number on... some Forcies."

- Darth Ventrix -

 

[Darth Ventrix]

"I'm fine!.....I just....need a minute!" She winced as she touched her side, still feeling as though she had been kicked by a very big boot.

Her brows furrowed as she remained there, catching her breath and feeling the pressure imposed by the ship. Yet she was determined to not show herself as weak. She was determined to overcome the hurdles put in front of her. She didn't want pity, not even from Ghorua the Shark .

After moment she returned to her feet and replaced her helmet. She had shown him her face, but she wasn't about to let others know about it too.

"I'll get used to it. And it will probably make me stronger. Will the entire ship have this affect?"

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

Ghorua watched Darth Ventrix struggle for a moment, unsure of what to do, or who to say. He could tell she was lying when she said she was fine. She'd failed to put her mask on before saying it, and Ghorua could read her like a book. Still, he figured he shouldn't bring it up, wound whatever pride she needed to keep going. So, instead, he answered her question.

"For the most part," he said, looking around the manicured white walls. "I suppose you could put yourself in my holding area. It's sealed off by biot jelly, and filled with Force cages. It will... isolate you from the Force, or so I'm told."

Ghorua almost regretted telling her that. He wouldn't forgive himself if the Lady spent her entire ride in one of his cages.

He didn't miss the part about the experience making her stronger. But he filed that bit of info away for now, not willing to open yet another can of worms. They already had a few worm cans to go through.

"It's just us here, there's a room for you. My... Someone stayed there for a while, but she's gone on to do her own thing, so it's all yours for now."

 

[Darth Ventrix]

Isolate her from the Force?

She thought about it for a moment. Would that hurt her or kill her? Possibly not. What was keeping her body alive was the mechanics, moreso than the Force. What the Force did was just give her strength.

"Show me the cages, in case I need them......please." Maybe she'd sleep in them. They could probably help stop the nightmares, and that wasn't a bad thing.

She nodded as Ghorua the Shark mentioned that there'd be a room for her. It made her curious as to who had it before her. "The room for me.....was it mine?" There was a lot that she didn't remember and she was well aware of it. Morcus saved what he could of her from that explosion. Yet it was dying in the grass that she remembered first, and the feeling of everything slipping away....

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

"If you say so," Ghorua said, reluctantly jabbing his head forward, to show Darth Ventrix the way. He was glad she was fine with taking the ship, Ghorua would've have been incredibly uncomfortable in a civilian transport, or even hiring a cargo vessel. There was something about the Jawsome that put him at ease, something beyond the light-side material in it's walls. It felt like home, like nostalgic memories going back years.

Although, sometimes, it felt a little empty too.

Ghorua led Kay through the extensive halls of the vessel, stopping to point at and explain security systems, hidden grav-traps in the floor tiles, and eventually, the brig, which contained the force-cages. As they walked, Ghorua answered Kay's query.

"No, not yours. My daughter. She's a bounty hunter too, and a good one at that." Ghorua frowned slightly. "She's not around much these days. Which is fine. She stayed longer than she had to. Not all parents are so lucky."

They had fallen out of contact, beyond the odd check-up call every other week. Which, again, was more than most fathers could boast about their daughters, but Ghorua missed the closeness he and Minna had shared.

"But she's not using it now. Feel free to make yourself at home."

Finally, he opened the door to the bedroom, which was nearly empty, save for a single bronze-gilded crystal, in the shape of a flower, left on the desk. To remember her by.

Ghorua slowly picked it up, and looked at it a long time.

So many lost memories...

 

[Darth Ventrix]

She took note of where the brig was, figuring that she might end up sleeping there. Perhaps the cages could quell her nightmares and actually give her some peace. Or they could just make them worse.

Ghorua the Shark soon led her to what ended up being his daughter's room. She furrowed her brows in thought, wondering if she even had children of her own. A part of her said maybe? Yet her mind was such a jumbled mess that she couldn't put the pieces together yet.

Her eyes fell on the flower. It was very pretty, yet it looked delicate too. It was probably best that she didn't touch it.

She walked over to the bed and sat down on it, testing out it's softness. "Where to next?" And by that she meant where was his next job, as opposed to where else in the ship they were going to explore.

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

Ghorua was lost in the soft lights of the Commenori flower, reminiscing on a time long past. Kay's question dragged him out of his own mind, and brought him clawing back to the present. He shook his head a little, as if to jostle loose the stray memories. It didn't help much, but the Shark would like to think it had.

"Beyond finishing my current infochant deal, not much," the Shark muttered, taking out his datapad, and tapping it a few times. It was an old model, perhaps twenty years outdated, but the Shark enjoyed the old tech. "I have a line on a few jobs, but it will take time for all the pieces to fall into place."

Ghorua looked at Darth Ventrix appraisingly. "In the interim, I'd like to sink some time into figuring out how to get your memories back. Do my own digging, if you'd allow me." The Herglic furrowed his brow. "I have a file on you, of all the information I could gather over the years. You could take a look at it. Maybe it'll jog something?"

 

[Darth Ventrix]

So they had some spare time. Plenty, or so it seemed. And with that they could do.....

Well it seemed as though Ghorua the Shark had planned on using it to do some digging on her. At first she wasn't sure if he had meant to pry into her mind, but then he had mentioned a file. So in that case it had meant digging in a non-evasive way. Such a thing allowed her to drop her guard, ever so slightly as she was just as determined as the Shark was at finding what was lost.

"And what if it doesn't work? I could have been too damaged, to the point of....well, I'm not even supposed to be alive. Something is missing, but I can't put my finger on it. I can't figure it out and it's frustrating! It remains hidden from me and it won't let me find it no matter how hard I try!" As she spoke her anger began to build, causing the air around her to seem as though it was brewing with static electricity. But it kept localized around her only.

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

Something subtle shifted in Ghorua's posture when Kay began to simmer. His eyes narrowed just slightly, and one foot found it's way behind him, minimizing his silhouette. He cared for his friend. He cared for her a lot. But his slow transition to more of a combat-oriented pose showed that he was still careful.

Equal parts confidence and caution. Classic Ghorua, were she to remember him.

"Well," the Shark noted, tone still calm, "there is only one way to find out. At the very least, you can learn more about who you were."

The Shark offered his datapad to the Lady, her information already keyed up and on full display. It had everything the experienced bounty hunter could have possibly known about her, including family history, recordings of speeches and altercations, and lengthly write-ups that Ghorua had penned himself. All the points in her life, from senator to president to mother to queen to tea vendor, were well-researched and well-documented, especially the parts they shared.

"You've been the center of a few... ah... security issues in the past. I gathered this in case it ever happened again. Put all the dots in one place, so I could connect them quicker. Didn't do me much good this last time, but they can do you good now."

Even if he couldn't return her memories, at least he could show her a piece of his.

- Darth Ventrix -

 

[Darth Ventrix]

She knew that her anger would get in the way. But it was hard not to be frustrated with her own mind. Even her body would fail her, yet not all of it was alive, so there was that that she could blame it on.

After a few deep breaths, she took hold of the datapad and started to skim through it quickly, moreso to get a gauge on how much she'd have to go through, and there was a lot...

"This will...take some time to read through." Not to mention, watch. There were plenty of holo-clips included in there, ones that were supposed to be her. "You've certainly done a lot of reasearch. I will...hope that it helps to replace what I am missing."

She slid back onto the bed and leaned against the headboard, cradling the holopad onto her lap as she started to read from the beginning. She had no plans on stopping until she had gone through it all.

It was a good thing that she liked to read.

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

Ghorua smiled briefly when Kay commented on the length of his report. He was sure it would be odd, for someone you had never met before to know more about you than you did, or so obviously spend so much time on them in general.

"What can I say," he replied, impishly. "I like being thorough."

Ghorua looked down the hall, towards the cockpit. The space brought to mind the bridge of a much larger ship, but sized for the yacht. Instead of meticulous controls, there was a large white chair that connected to the ceiling, where the entire ship could be puppeted. He debated his next destination. He needed a direction. More importantly, he needed to get the Jawsome off-world before those gangs, or whoever else Kay had managed to get on the bad side of, came knocking.

"Gonna take off pretty soon," Ghorua said, glancing back towards his guest, smiling as he saw her getting cozy. "If you've got any unfinished business on this planet, or have any valuables you need to grab, now'd be the time to do that."

- Darth Ventrix -

 

[Darth Ventrix]

"Thorough indeed..."

She glanced up at Ghorua the Shark as he mentioned them leaving soon and for her to collect any valuables that she might have. But of course she didn't make it a habit to carry around luggage. "I have nothing but myself. We can go whenever you are ready." She had no unfinished business either. Her existance after Morcus left her to her own devices was that of wandering aimlessly, fightimg whomever attacked her and destroying them. She didn't need to eat anymore really, and could muscle her way onto any transport that she wanted. So credits weren't entirely needed. She just felt lost and it was entirely a puzzle as to why she was saved from death to begin with.