Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved Species The Vanguard

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Name: Vanguard
Designation: Sentient
Homeworld: Van
Language: Vanguard
Average Lifespan: 70 (Possibly longer after proper integration of technology and medicine)
Estimated Population: Rare (A few groups, often limited to a single world)
Average height of adults: 2.5 meters
Average length of adults: N/A
Scale color: Varies (Tan, Dark Red, Dark Blue, Black, Earthy colors to blend into the surroundings depending on the location that the Vanguard inhabits)
Hair color: N/A
Distinctions: Vanguard are a monstrous looking species. With four arms and four eyes, they give off a demonic appearance. Standing 8’2 inches on average. Their muscular structure is massive with layered muscles from head to toe. Especially in the arms, legs and chest.

Breathes: Oxygen
Strengths: [SIZE=10pt]Vanguards are incredibly powerful, with Olympian levels of endurance thanks to their planet's high gravity. They have to be strong both physically and mentally to be able to survive day to day on their hostile planet. This made their physical strength equal to Wookiees. Their tough scales make them very durable but their scales are [/SIZE]NOT [SIZE=10pt]a substitute for armor. Four arms and four eyes also have their advantages as well. Their eyes are well developed, better than humans but not the best in the Universe by a long shot. However they do provide a natural night vision. Accelerated healing(nothing game breaking, just less time in the bacta tank for severe injuries). They are cunning and creative in battle and war situations. They do not falter under the pressures of combats, for combat is all they have ever known. [/SIZE]
Weaknesses: Lower lifespans compared to species of similar strength (Gen'Dai, Wookiee, and even the Dashade). [SIZE=10pt]Violent by nature. Force manipulation is not very prominent among their people. In the fact that they know little about it other than the possible [/SIZE][SIZE=13.3333px]offensive[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt] capabilities it could have. Other than legends of wizards and warlocks, they have no organized religion when it comes to the force. [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]When one does possess the force, they see it as just another weapon, should they be able to harness it to that extent. [/SIZE]And even if shaman exhibit some traces of the force, it is almost always minor feats. [SIZE=10pt]Vanguards have low scientific and technological intelligence, meaning that they are not known for their great scientist or creators. Their burly large bodies also make them less agile than they could be, as well as making them bigger targets. Not to say that aren't athletic, but it will always be harder to move an 8'5 frame compared to a 5'10 frame. This also makes their movements more obvious and makes the species more prone to back issues later in age. [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]The Vanguard are new to "[/SIZE][SIZE=13.3333px]civilized[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]" life. This makes them easily swayed and swindled. As well as making some forms of society and technology a complete mystery to the Vanguard. Female birthrates are substantially lower than male birthrates, slowing the growth of the Vanguard people. Causing their r[/SIZE]elatively low population.

Races: Certain groups are identified by their tribe and/or scale color.

Diet: [SIZE=10pt]Omnivores with an undeniable love for meat.[/SIZE]
Communication: Vocal. [SIZE=10pt]Their native language is a guttural, growling dialect that falls in line with the demon image. If not learned at a young age, languages are very difficult for the Vanguard. Though once Basic is learned, it bridges the gap to learn many other languages. Protocol Droids are a must when dealing with the more secluded tribes.[/SIZE]
Culture: [SIZE=10pt]The Vanguards live tribal lives. Their technology before discovery was primitive to say the least. But that didn’t stop them from becoming cunning warriors. The other life on Van were all extremely hostile, even the planet life. This made day to day life extremely trialing. Through generations only the toughest survive. And even to this day their warrior culture causes many conflicts between tribes. Except now they have plasma grenades. Though these are usually resolved in smaller conflicts or "games" as they call them. However, even when there is times of peace. Arena type games will be held between the tribes in order to prove one’s power and thin out the weak. As such, Vanguard’s population isn’t relatively high. It’s rare to see them out among the stars. When they do venture out, they tend to be mercenaries and hired muscles. They tend to get along well with Mandalorians. To the point of even becoming Mandalorians.[/SIZE]
Technology level: [SIZE=10pt]All technology used by Vanguards were gifted, stolen, or acquired after being discovered. They’ve adapted well, as they always do. But when they were first discovered, they had hardly more than sticks and stones.[/SIZE]
General behavior: [SIZE=10pt]Hostile, territorial, warriors. Though their code of "honor" keeps them from being mindless killing machines. The code is simple, respect any one who picks up a blade. Meaning, kill them like any other. And when battling, be as even and honorable as possible. The point of the hunt is to find honor and improve oneself as a hunter. Also, hunting in smaller numbers is most common. The only other part of it is to never kill innocent noncombatants.[/SIZE]

History: [SIZE=10pt]The planet of Van was discovered by the Galactic Alliance in 406 ABY. The first meeting went.. well not great. Immediately, the Vanguards the Expedition crew first encountered launched an offensive on the crew. Despite the extreme difference in technology, the 8 foot tall demons were just too much to handle. The surviving members fled, leaving behind vast amounts of equipment, including a few starships. This was the first taste of technology for the Vanguards, and while the research team didn’t have the most deadly of weapons. What they had was a vast improvement over spears. Upon rummaging through their new loot, they triggered a distressed signal. And thus started the great games for the Vanguard. They hunted all search parties, and because their planet was out of the way, this was able to continue for a couple of decades. Until the [/SIZE][SIZE=13.3333px]Galactic[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt] Alliance had enough and sent a small force to Van. And with that, Van was annexed and joined the Galactic Alliance. Though being in the Outer Rims meant they were mostly on their own. There is only one dockable outpost on Van. While their numbers are lower than a lot of other species, they already have had many well renown warriors and mercenaries stalk the galactic seas. They’ve never lived down their image of murderous hunters. But when you have a Vanguard as a friend, you have a loyal friend for life. As long as you don’t screw with them. If you do, vengeance will be swift and violent.[/SIZE]

Notable Player-Characters: Red Cloud

Intent: [SIZE=10pt]A new and deadly warrior race. Predators meets Spartans meets Mandalorians.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Image Source: First, Second[/SIZE]

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[member="Red Cloud"]

My main concern here is that I find the species in its current state to be unbalanced. The Vanguard has substantial strengths but are lacking in any solid weaknesses to counterbalance this. This is something we'll work together to fix so that the result can be considered both fair and balanced, and be safely released into a PvP environment with the other writers on Chaos.

The Vanguard's strengths as I understand them are:
  • Great endurance
  • Great physical strength
  • Durable scales
  • Above average eyesight (including night vision)
  • Healing
This all makes for a fairly well-rounded and powerful fighter. This is not sufficiently offset by any hard weaknesses, which is a problem. I'm going to need to see you include some substantial weaknesses. Since the Vanguard's strengths cover a lot of different areas, I'm going to ask you to either tone down their impact or remove some and focus on a few main strengths instead.

The Vanguard's weaknesses as I understand them are:
  1. Knows little of the Force, only its offensive capabilities.
  2. No organised Force religion.
  3. Not great scientists.
  4. Less agile and big targets
  5. Low population
1. I find this lacking, as one can do a lot of damage with a purely offensive focus as well.
2. Not really that relevant, as the Galaxy provides several of these.
3. It's something, but it's hardly the intent of the species anyway, as they're built more as combat brutes. This is also slightly offset by the sentence: "They do have some wise shamen and skilled engineers, but they are in the vast minority"
4. I like this, though I'd like to see it emphasised further for it to have any noticeable impact.
5. This is acceptable, though it does not get individuals of the species a free pass to be combat beasts, so this will still need to be addressed.

Moving on, I will also need to see an image source for both of the images used in this submission.

While we're at it, here are some notes on grammar and typos that I noticed:



Red Cloud said:
If not learn at a young age, languages are very difficult for the Vanguard.
Should be "learned".



Red Cloud said:
Though once Basic is learned, it bridges the gag to learn many other languages.
Should be "gap"



Red Cloud said:
Their technology before discovery with primitive to say the least.
I'm guessing you mean "was" here?

Thanks
 
[member="Darth Pyrrhus"]

I've made the corrections, removed and added a bit. Made my intent with the scales more accurate. They are not armor like, I could even remove it. I simply meant that they are more durable than flesh, which is just common knowledge when it comes to scales. So it might not even be worth noting to avoid confusion.

But I'm just wondering, how is this species less balanced than Wookiees, Dashades, or the Gen'dai? All of which I could easily play as. In my opinion those guys are all just as deadly, if not way deadlier than the Vanguard. Not to mention that all of the Vanguard's strengths can be added to just about any species with cybernetics/implants and any droid character as well.
 
[member="Red Cloud"]

I'm happy to clarify my position. The thing with other strong SW species, such as for example Wookies or even Shi'ido, is that they generally have one strength that makes them stand out and they focus on that. Maybe one has healing properties, maybe one is physically strong, or maybe one has really durable skin that protects them from injuries. Rarely do you see them all combined.

The first step in my mind was to give you the option of removing some strengths and focus on a few, or keep them but water them out. Once I knew what abilities you wanted to work with, next step would be to further inquire into the limits of the strengths listed. With the clarification you added to the scales and the healing not seeming to be on any grand scale, I'm feeling much better about this.



Red Cloud said:
Accelerated healing(nothing game breaking, just less time in the bacta tank for severe injuries)
Would this have any impact in a combat situation? Or is it simply that they take lesser time on average to recover from their injuries over time than a human would?

I'd like you to state the extent of their physical strength. Feel free to use X times Human strength as a basic estimate. For example, a Wookie would be at double strength to that of a Human, triple at most.

I still want you to add a new, substantial weakness.

With the above in place, this will probably be ready to go!

Thanks
 
[member='Darth Pyrrhus']

The healing would not impact a combat situation in any way. It’s just as you said, shorter recovery time than average. When they are shot, they will be injured just the same as a human.

I’m completely unsure of what to put as a weakness. I read through some of the accepted species and don’t really see what makes Vanguard less acceptable than many of them. There’s even some that have one weakness. The Vanguard really only have two strengths that make any difference. And that’s their physical strength and night vision(which any helmet would give you). Three if you count their second set of arms, but there are plenty of species with four arms in Star Wars canon.

I could put their naivety as a new race to “civilized” life. Making the species as a whole, a lot easier to manipulate/con. I could put that their large size and two arms makes it so that armor and clothing needs to be specially modified for them. I could put a lower birth rate, to backup their low population. But I feel like that’s what you’re looking for. Maybe you could give me an example? For instance, what would a Wookiee weakness be? The only thing that enters my mind right away would be the inability to learn basic. And I would say that weakness is about on par with the ones I have listed.

I don't mean to come off as a jerk, I'm just unsure of what would fit and also be good enough to meet the requirement.
 
[member="Red Cloud"]

Following the template, all species are required to have a minimum of two weaknesses. At some point it's to be expected that some details are missed or slips by, though that does not make it the norm.

Most of the weaknesses mentioned here I'd consider to be either so-called "soft" weaknesses or "fluff" weaknesses. I haven't felt like they adequately matched the concrete strengths. But I feel we're very close to see this through. Something like what you say about them being easier to manipulate, or for example some common disease could work.

Thanks
 
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