The Path to Well-being (SSC PM for invite)

[Ryn'Dhal]

Ryn had been on Voss only a few hours at best. He'd followed proper protocol to an extent, having swung by the medical bays to get a secondary checkup, after having finished a vast majority of his healing on [member=James Justice]'s Shadow Base. The spacer had been kind enough to swing the padawan by his Orders homeworld. The spacer had done so much for Ryn, and vice-versa, he lost count as to who technically still owed who.

But that wasn't prevalent to the current scenario. No. Ryn was anxious, unable to sit still. They had asked him to wait in the medical center for Master Coci to come for him, but that wasn't happening this day. No, he wandered off. After swinging by his own quarters and acquiring his Long-knives, Ryn could be found in the training rooms. Swinging the blades about in a deadly dance, his own variant of Ataru. His natural acrobatics coming heavily into play. Occasionally, a third blade would be given a swing through the air, his tail occasionally drawing it from it's sheath, working it in as an unexpected tertiary attack in the combo. One that would typically serve as a surprise attack, a mental-disarming maneuver, before returning back to it's sheath until the next moment for such a strike in his rotations.

His swings started off reasonable enough, careful, controlled, and measured. But, as time went on, the speed slowly increased. Faster, faster. One, two, three. One, two, three. One two, three. One two, three. Onetwo, three. Onetwo three. Onetwo three. Onetwothree. Finally, a howl of anguish, of rage, of frustration, and of pain, tore its way up, and out the young felinoid's throat, as he hefted one of the swords with all his might, augmented by the Force, across the training room. It buried itself to its hilt into a training dummy across the room. Panting there, he stared at the sword, momentarily coming out of his martial-trance, unsure for a few moments where he was, or why he was there.....

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[member=Coci Heavenshield]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

There had been sightings of Ryn reported back to the council, even had an encounter with Grand Master [member="Thurion Heavenshield"] on Tash-Taral but nothing had been confirmed as to why Ryn had disappeared. At least he had a good friend who had brought him home to Voss, and Coci could only hope that Ryn would remain, not run off again and get into trouble. She had not actually seen Ryn since the mission to Rhen Var in which even then he had seemed troubled.

So it was time to find out why, and see if she could help in any way. The Medical Bay soon informed Coci that Ryn had checked himself out, and she feared he had left Voss once more, but the Force told her different. She could sense him in the Temple, in the training room and much distress filled his being. Much confusion, frustration and anger. Not a good mix, but it takes more then this to turn a good Jedi.

Coci approached the room, and could hear the sound of physical exertion from someone putting themselves through rigourous exercise. She stood in the door way just watching. His skills with knives most impressive and well under way to becoming a greater skill, but there is more to this path then abilities, power or strength, no matter how good one gets to be with 'tools of the trade', it is all about control, patience and tolerance .. it is about calm of mind, body and spirit. One needs these to form good judgement, to best make the right decision with what information one has available, to best rule out mistakes.

The sound of the sword fizzed through the air until it's abrupt halt. "Did that make you feel any better?", she asked in a soft tone, with the smallest of smiles. Sometimes the 'murder' of an inanimate object can do wonders.

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[member="Ryn'Dhal"]​

 

[Ryn'Dhal]

Master Heavenshield would notice, the padawan was unmasked, when he reacted defensively upon her speaking. He was so engrossed in his exertions that he hadn't noticed her approach. Her voice shook him free of his reverie, and before registering to whom the voice belonged to, Ryn had turned to face her, blades out in his own version of a 'ready' stance, blades out, angled slightly, tips towards the ground, edge of the blade towards the rear. Fangs were bared as ears were flat to scalp. Narrowed eyes widened suddenly, as swords were swiftly sheathed.

Standing fully upright now, his ears remained folded, though this time in a submissive gesture, rather than defensive. "I... Apologize... You startled... me..." He uttered weakly. Extending a hand, the Force reached to the sword, an invisible tether forming between his palm and the pommel of the sword. Feeling the connection, he willed the blade to return to him, and after a few brief moments of jostling within the dummy, it came free and zoomed across the room into his waiting hand. His tail reached up to gently take this sword, and sheath it in the third, hidden, sheath along his spine, blade-tip up.

"As for your question.... No... I feel no better. I feel no release from my torment. I...." He trailed off, those once vibrant, molten golden pools he possessed for eyes, darkened, clouded over, as he suddenly seemed far, far away from Coci. "I... Owe... Your husband... Master Thurion... Sorry, Grand Master Thurion... A proper apology... I was fortunate..." He trailed off again, a slight shudder running through the young man. "Fortunate... He recognized me, when I couldn't him..." It would have been a simple enough task, for the Grand Master to have slain Ryn in self defense on Tash-Taral.... But on the same token, had Thurion given Ryn the chance and opening, there was all likelyhood the beast would have gladly slain Thurion.

"But.... I don't know if I can yet... The visions.... The nightmares that witch... Fed me.... They're still too fresh, too vivid.... Too real.... There is still a lot of anger in my heart, towards your husband, that my mind knows he doesn't deserve.... But.... My subconscious.... It can't let go of those nightmares so readily....." He'd whisper that last bit, as a tear trickled partway down his face, moistening the fur visibly. The pain, confusion, and anger, were real. Rolling off of him in waves. The strongest of these though, was not the anger, but the pain. It wrenched at the heart. It filled the whole of the room, as if with water. Ryn instinctively retreated deeper towards the center of the room, to minimize how far reaching his torment would go. It was his pain... He held no desire to force anyone else to carry it for him...

[member=Coci Heavenshield]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

As Ryn spun around to face her, Coci did not flinch but remained in the doorway fixed gaze on his face. So much turmoil within the young man, seeping out of him in waves of sadness and despair, Coci frowned wanting to know more about what had happened. And as he spoke to her, there were more question to be asked and anything answered at this point.

"I have heard of what happened on Tash-Taral, a confrontation with Thurion, in a way. Is that why you think you owe him an apology?", she asked but sensing more to this story then a simple lack of recognition. "Why can you not speak to him now? and who is this witch you refer to?".

Now, Coci turned and placed a hand on the door to lock it. "I want to see you, I want to see you in your other form". She turned back to him, the reason for the locked door was not that she was attempting to cage him or mistrust him, but more the safety of others if this would go wrong. "I want to sense you in that form". Her face would show Ryn that it would not brook no for an answer.

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[member="Ryn'Dhal"]​

 

[Ryn'Dhal]

Ryn nodded as she asked as to why he felt the need to apologize. He'd produce a small device, a data-storage unit, from a pocket. He'd taken a single step towards Master Coci when she suddenly closed the door and locked it, asking for him to change. "I.... wait...." He stammered, unsure as to what she was trying to pull.

Ears folded back, as his eyes shifted about the room. The level of discomfort was escalating for the padawan. There was no privacy. No where for him to disrobe. And while yes, he was covered in fur, stripping before this woman would scream of excessive levels of impropriety. "You... are aware... of how... inappropriate this is...?" He'd ask. It was only himself, the Grand Master's wife, and a couple of training dummies.

Her expression showed she had no intention of budging, to which he sighed heavily. He'd mutter to himself, "Considerations..." before turning and removing his cloak, swords in their sheaths, and boots, setting them against the far wall. He'd then proceed to remove his tunic, folding it and setting it down next to his boots atop his folded robes. Then came his pants. In case she moved to object, he'd cut her off, speaking in a clear voice, while facing away from her. "I have no intentions of ruining another pair of clothing over my transformation."

After having removed his pants and underwear, folding and setting them atop the rest of his clothes, the padawan stood upright, back towards Coci. His tail flicked sharply, an obvious feline sign of agitation, which was understandable given the demand she made of him. He'd take a deep breath, steadying himself. A low growl started in his chest, as he sprung into motion, turning as his mass increased exponentially at an disconcerting rate. As he turned, growing larger, a twin row of large, defensively positioned spikes erupted from his back, running down along his spine. Landing on all fours, a low snarl would part his maw, as a heavy shake of his head would be given. It was never a pleasant process, shifting in either direction.

The beast, the same beast from Dromund Kaas, the one that attacked [member=Audren Sykes], stood before Coci. A slight sniff, clearing his nasal passage, would be given, as the great beast paced a quick circle, before sitting on his haunches. Those golden eyes. Ryn's eyes. They locked on Coci, the four hundred kilogram feline staring straight into the master's eyes, as if through into her very soul.

"Are you.... satisfied....?" The beast rumbled in it's deep, gravely voice, so very unlike his natural melodic tones in his humanoid form.

[member=Coci Heavenshield]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

While Ryn went through the processes of his transformation, Coci averted her eyes. She was not interested in the watching the transformation but rather the change in him mentally as he did so. She spoke not a word while he undressed and moved to the side, she did not wish to make the situation any more uncomfortable for him then necessary.

Coci centered her concentration of on Ryn, her searching through the force surrounding him with each stage of the transformation. His mind did change, which was to be expected, but the mistrust and confusion remained. There was that instinct of the creature in a natural state, one of a predator but he seemed more 'calmer', resting on the mat of the training room. And yet, provoked, he could be 'set off' at any given moment. It truly was marvelous his change, a very powerful and unique creature sat before her, Coci noted his appearance and his force signature, a subtle variant in it as the cat-like being and interesting little change that could throw an enemy.

"No", she finally stated. "I believe you have something for me?', she asked having noticed the data unit he had produce but not given. "I want you to tell me about this .. witch". No hiding from the truth, she wanted him to confront the event in his own words, as tough as that might be.

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[member="Ryn'Dhal"]​

 

[Ryn'Dhal]

Those deep, molten, predatory eyes stared piercingly at Coci, almost through her, contemplating her words and her request. He'd glance towards the data-drive, and focus upon the small thumb-sized device. A subtle flick of his tail, and a twitch of an ear, were all the movements he made, as the device clattered for a brief moment, sound echoing in the chamber, before elevating itself a good three feet off the ground. Moving with his gaze, the object traced a lazy path through the air, finally resting before Coci, until she reached out to take the device.

"All is.... on it...." The low, gravely voice would growl out. Vocalizations were a chore in this form. "May I.... change back...?" He'd ask, his massive head cocking to one side, as if imploring of her to acquiesce to his request. "Or else.... this will.... take more.... than a.... short am... amount.... of time...." As it were, anything longer than two syllables had to be broken apart, as while he was capable of speech, this form was not ideally crafted for such. Some of his kind had adapted more significantly to this form, and as such held a higher proficiency with the linguistics in this form. Ryn'Dhal, was not one such Felacatian.

"Your call.... Master.... Coci...." He'd growl, head returning to a neutral, centered position, his stare continue to pierce, watching the woman across the room from him.

[member=Coci Heavenshield]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

The device rested in her palm. "Of course, change back", she turned away to give him privacy. She could hear Ryn moving in the room, the emotions shifting as he reformation began, her senses informing her and now she would be about to recognise Ryn in either form in the future. Once he is dressed and prepared to tell his tale, she will listen.

Once he would indicate that he is dressed, Coci will open the device and proceed to view the content. But she would prefer to hear it from him lips. It is only through this way that she would be able to glean a clearer picture of what happened and his emotional state.

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[member="Ryn'Dhal"]​

 

[Ryn'Dhal]

After transitioning back, and redressing himself, Ryn would approach Master Heavenshield, watching the holovid over her shoulder. She would sense his anxiety rising as he saw the images, before snapping his gaze away, across the room. "I was.... taken.... sedated by a bounty hunter. I was delivered to a.... a.... a witch.... I do not know what else to call her. She was strong with the Dark Side, and she had me restrained. I couldn't change, in order to escape...."

He trembled slightly. "She.... reached into my mind.... She plucked out whatever she wished, like ripe cherries off a tree...." Slowly he wrapped his arms about his body, hands clasping the opposite elbows. "She turned my memories against me. I know this now.... But.... at the time, it was all so vivid.... So real...."

He'd open his tunic, and let it drop once more, before kneeling to roll up his pants legs. He'd gesture to his legs, fresh scar-tissue evident, the sutures recently removed. "These.... 'You' had inflicted these upon me.... Day three...." When Coci would fast-forward to the appropriate day on the vid, she'd see the woman, the witch, who wore ornate robes, and a strange head-dress, covering her eyes, proceeded to cut into Ryn's legs in a very methodical, ritualistic manner, all the while the recording of the padawan pleaded for 'Master Coci' to stop, to stop hurting him, and that he was sorry for failing.

"Day five, my best friend 'died'. She.... He was being tortured, far, far away.... But I felt it.... And so did she.... She amplified the sensations, and perverted them. When he got free from his personal hell, she was able to paint a picture in my mind that it was the sweet release of death that ended his suffering...." Accordingly, when Coci went to the appropriate day, she'd witness the padawan, bound to the wall still, his body wracking with sobs. "I felt, all of his pain, and then some.... Every.... Last.... detail...."

A broken breath, as a sob caught in his throat, reliving the hell the witch put him through. His willpower was being taxed, his strength stretched to its absolute limit, he'd continue. "Then day seven, until whenever it was that I was released, or escaped, or whatever..... it was a blur..... She came, with a new guise.... 'Master [member=Thurion Heavenshield]', came to visit me...."

Each day in the video, the woman was seen, berating Ryn'Dhal's weakness. Striking him repeatedly. Cutting him. Even going so far as to stick a knife in his left forearm, right between the bones, and leave it for two whole days. "Th-the huh-whole.... t-t-time.... I s-s-s-saw h-h-him.... always h-h-him.... I-I-I-I know it was.... wasn't..... him.... but...." He'd finally look to Master Coci, his face soaked with tears, the fur matted down against his face. "S-s-so much ti.... time.... I c-c-ca-n't.... I c-c-an't...." A sob broke out of his throat, and with that the last dregs of his composure, his will, left him. Collapsing to his knees, hands on the floor, he wept. Bitter, pain-filled, terror-fueled tears. Reliving it, while the wounds were still so fresh. He tried. He tried, and again, failed.

"I'm so-ho-ho-ho-reeh-he-hee!!" he sobbed, attempting to apologize for his weakness, for his failings. He was ashamed, though he was not conscious of whether or not such shame was warranted.

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[member="Coci Heavenshield"]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

Everything had become clear, in the moment that followed after his transformation back, Ryn had shown her what had happened to him. Although the datapad played the files and images horrific, all Coci could do was look through tear filled black eyes to Ryn as she listened. Although his story was one of much pain and suffering, he needed to tell it, to voice it in order to start the first steps back to recovery, a recovery that would never be completed. How could one fully mend from something like this?

As he fell to his knees to the floor, Coci got down on her in front of him and took him in an embrace. She would hold Ryn until his tears stopped no matter how long that would take. Her mind raced with what to say, what possible words could she utter that would help. But one thing became apparent to her ..

"You have nothing to be sorry for, this is not your doing", she pulled back so she could look into his face all wet with tears. She pulled at her sleeve and placed it on his face to try and dry this fur. "It is me, it is us that need to apologise to you. I see now we failed you".

She let out a long sign, the realisation was hard to take but needed to be faced. It had to be in order to give him the respect he deserves. "We failed to give you the skills and guidance to prepare you for such things in the galaxy".

Coci lifted his face upward by placing her hand under his chin and looked into his eyes. "I am sorry Ryn".

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[member="Ryn'Dhal"]​