Private The Past Always Haunts

[Gerwald Lechner]

S W I M M I N G​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

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<<"This… This is something we only share with those who are closest to us.">>​

Closest.​

The word scared Gerwald for many reasons. Intimacy was something that intimidated Gerwald because of the wounds he still bore from the vulnerability he had shared with others. Whether he would use the word mistake or not did not matter. Two previous lovers had abandoned him, perceiving he had spurned them. A sister had left. The other woman he loved had died before he could tell her the truth, her soul still tethered to the ring which hung from the chain around his neck. This was only his second meeting with Palm-Imer, so how was it that she could use a word that implied a level of intimacy.​

Gerwald was scared because he also knew it to be true. His mind tried to name those he was close to, those who would fit the definition that Palm’s words implied, and he could only name two others. The lupine had many followers, but friends? There were only three who he had fully confided in about the truth of Naalol, and one of them was in the pool of water with him.​

<<"But you are the only one I've trusted to do it...">>
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With every fiber of his being, Gerwald wanted to push away and tell the woman she should not trust him in his manner. He was the only one… that trust was too deep. It gave him a power that he had not asked for, something he was afraid to wield. Had she not understood what images he had placed in her mind meant? Death surrounded the wolf. Those who followed him, those who got close to him, they all suffered, all of them. He was tired of watching those he cared for succumb to such tragedy. He would not let Palm be counted among them.​

Yet, he did not move away.​

The cave was silent. His ears did not focus on the ripples and the droplet Palm had heard. Instead the only sound breaking through the thick quiet of their surroundings was the loud thrum of two hearts beating like war drums looming in the distance. Never once did he break her gaze. It was as though the two had captured each other in the moment.​

Gerwald froze.​

He had closed the distance, yet Palm pushed even closer. Her words still rang in his mind, and he dare not answer for fear that he would have no control over the words which would come. His heart raced as her hand rest against his chest. This was not the same as it had been several minutes before when he had placed her hand on the ring. She had not let her hand linger the way it did now. Something about her touch was different, as though it was accepting some unspoken invitation, yet impinging upon him in the same breath.​

The lupine simply breathed, slowly, labored. Time stood as still as he did, afraid for what may come next. As the slope of her forehead found his, Gerwald nearly shuddered. No one had touched him this close, nor had he allowed anyone into his space in such a manner since Naedira. Even she had never been this close to him physically, but his heart had been hers for some time. There was conflict in the lupine. Part of him felt threatened by the gesture, the other embraced it.​

Then her words.​

<<"...so you have nothing to be sorry for.">>
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Everything was quiet. There was no sound as he leaned in, the bridge of his nose meeting hers. His eyes closed for a moment, everything still so silent.​

<<“If only that were true… If only…”>>​

...his heart wasn't so broken.​

 

[Palm-Imer]

Location: Naboo.
Weapons: The Wraith Blades.
Tagging: Gerwald Lechner
Companions: Maro & Nekran

She should have been afraid too.

Even if she managed to rid herself of the self-imposed stigma caused by the knowledge that this went against everything she was taught, if she decided to turn a blind eye to how he was ripping apart the very few chains that still held her somewhat true to those teachings, how the trust needed to accomplish all that had been granted to him in such a short amount of time...Even then, it should have still been daunting and she should have distanced herself. An Ambassador was meant to be guarded at all times, to only spare empty smiles and common courtesies that many would mistake with familiarity while remaining a mystery, a lonely and well kept secret.

But Palm was not afraid nor wanted to pull away. Showing him anything but her honest self, the one filled with doubts and conflicts, had never been an option. The reason why didn't seem important now, after all Palm could choose who to trust but once that trust was given it was not as easily removed. No, they didn't need an answer to their questions right now. Not when she could feel the inner battles that they were both waging - finding both solace and conflict in whatever it was that had brought them to this trusting bond.

His words tightened a knot in her chest, she was sorry for so many things too. They weighted on her, just as they did on him. This, however, was not one of those things.

For a moment, she allowed herself to focus on them. On the pull that still kept her comfortably locked in his closeness, in the foreign but now welcome feeling of having opened the doors between their minds and the solace that came with embracing whatever this was and just letting it be. Just for a moment there was nothing else, and it was all she could ask for.

<<"Perhaps one day it will be, for both of us.">>

Perhaps one day they would have no more regrets.