The Gizzard Parade

[Steph Zenima]

I never thought there would be a planet where Steph Zenima was considered pretty.

Well, welcome to Dressel, my chosen random planet for this encounter and if you want to quickly roll over to the old Google machine you can see where the first sentence of this post comes from. Dressellians were hideous. Hairless, wrinkled creeps with odd-shaped heads.

So they pretty much deserved to die.

Jumped up on a combination of deathsticks and giggledust our dearest Stephanie luked spmewhere between Cloud Nine and Ten. The woman practically salivated as she stormed through the streets of the extremely unfortunate city. She was a bloody animal. Feral. Unchained. How this woman was not already detained in prison escaped even may, although surely she belonged in the pound rather than the jail?

Her blood-splattered sledgehammer was held in a two-fisted grip.

It was funny how dressellians had teal coloured blood. The hammer soared upwards, connecting with a bystander too unremarkable to be saved. His lower-jaw exploded in a teal cloud of teeth and giblets. It was almost too easy. There was no challenge. The local police were too slow and she was too impatient.

“CAN NAEBODY GEE ME A DECENT BLOODY CHALLENGE, EH?!”

Pssst, that's your cue @[member="High Prophet Dredge"].

 

[Dredge]

Dredge was not usually a fighter these days, his warrior days were in he past. But now of days he was busy coverting others into the horde. He planned on fighting and burning this galaxy to the ground so he could rebuild on top of it. He was here to convert this hideous race of creatures to join the horde but alas talks we're going slow, and all but halted when the news came in that some little person with a hammer was going around smashing people's faces with a hammer. That sounded like Dredge's type of person, someone who wasn't afraid to get their purge on in public. He would have to meet her in person and see what she could do. Perhaps even covert her to their cause. But for now he would leave the building to go find the woman.

Leaving the building where the talks were held dredge took to the streets his personal escort of ten elite Vong warriors followed him. They were all ready to die in a moments notice for their lord. "Vaas, be sure to not kill them on sight. I would have words." carrying his amphistaff or scepter of power that the supreme overlord of the Vong kept he sighed and looked around. Though it really wasn't too hard to find the crazy woman, really just follow the screams. Moving forward the Vong leader sighed and laughed afterwards. Finding steph he could honestly say she wasn't what he expected of her.

"Human, I think myself worthy." moving his hand in a circular motion the Vong warriors formed a circle of death around them. It was quite awesome to say the least. No where to run, no where to hide. Just a straight up fight between the two of them. Though he wasn't sure if it was even fair. Tiny woman versus the supreme overlord of the Yuuzhan Vong, things werent really looking up the the Stephmeister @[member="Steph Zenima"]

 

[Steph Zenima]

“THEN YE'LL DEE FINE!” she roared, beating on her own flat chest with one of those hammer fists. I'm almost certain one of her parents was a gorilla. A stupid gorilla. Like, a gorilla with serious brain damage.

It was a touch disconcerting that the Vong's brethren had formed a circle around them. This probably meant that they were playing by a set of pretty brutal rules. No running. Only smash. Fortunately Stephanie Zenima does not even know where the word disconcerting means, the concept of a fight making her uncomfortable was so foreign that it got detained at immigration.

The girl kept her sledgehammer in that one-handed grip. The way she wielded it with such ease meant that she was a blatant case of more than meets the eye although I very much doubt that she'll be transforming any time soon.

She barrelled at the vong, no thought, no concern, NO TIME. Steph Zenima was a one-woman wrecking machine, you can't stop this train, nobody can stop THIS TRAIN! A TRAIL OF SKULLS FOR THE SKULL GODDESS. She had become fond of the hammer uppercut, often finding herself enraptured by the thought of teeth impacting against each other so hard that they crumbled, so this would be the first assault.

She stopped suddenly, just short of the Vong sweeping the heavy weapon upwards in an arc that meant to devastate.

@[member="High Prophet Dredge"]

 

[Dredge]

As much dredge's writer liked the sound of the one hitter quiter from a hammer uppercut he wanted this duel to be a bit more dramatic than that. So he had to dodge, shifting to the left his body weight moved as the hammer sparked and skidded off the crab armor. It was quite a spectacle to see, the tiny woman reaching out trying to hurt the high prophet. Grabbing his scepter of power, his amphistaff it was time for him to strike back and keep the duel fresh. Holding it in his right arm he intended to hurt the girl, he didn't want to kill her at all. An animal this blood thirsty would benefit his cause quite well. Even if they were human, steph was kind of something else in her own little category of species in the galaxy.

Keeping his staff held firm, the serpant shot out and wrapped itself around steph's hammer on the arc upward. Coiling and wrapping itself around the woman's tool she snake now took a few snaps at her face, it's poison would be agonizing if it bit her. But knowing how hopped up steph was on drugs and other various forms of narcotics she wouldn't even feel the burning crippling poison if it hit her. "PUNY HUMAN!!" dredge roared back at her then aimed his free fist in a punch towards her rib cage. Her no doubtabley already extremely damaged rib cage. But it mattered not for dredge, the two were locked in mortal combat and it was likely Shao Kahn himself would pop out of the shadows to yell Finish Them! But only time would tell as this fight raged on. @[member="Steph Zenima"]

 

[Steph Zenima]

So close, but no dice.

Now you have to understand that this is Steph's first experience with an amphistaff, she has no idea, like absolutely none. I want you to understand that she is far from a smart woman, the fact that you placed her in her own species was extremely wise, and very true. The way she thought, or rather didn't think, her own personal train of non-logic, it didn't come from human roots. Maybe one day the legends will tell how she was born of both man and beast.

Or maybe it was the drugs.

Two-pronged attack, whoa. Being that she was terribly unaware of an amphistaff's properties the serpant's head caught her in the cheek, nice couple of puncture wounds there. What a cheeky chit. Fortunately she remained blissfully unaware of the venom, on the downside the fist collided with her ribcage. She grunted. Aware that she had been hit but having no clue to whether or not she had been damaged. Pain? I don't have time for pain. Gotta smash. Gotta smash harder, faster.

Now, back to the relevance of Steph's first encounter with this exotic breed of weapon. You don't bite Steph Zenima and get away with it, you don't bite Steph Zenima and expect to get away unscathed. She responded in a way unexpected, the vong didn't get the brunt of the abuse. It was the thing curled around her sledgehammer.

Yeah. She snapped her own head forward, trying to sink her own dilapidated teeth into the staff's head.

@[member="High Prophet Dredge"]

 

[Dredge]

Well Dredge didn't know how to feel about this, she was trying to bite the head of a weapon that was just about one hundred percent saber proof. Steph had just crossed the line to full retard, and we all know you never go full retard. Her teeth would bite down on the hard skin of the serpent and most likely break due to the fact that they were all ready pretty decayed from spice and other various forms of space meth. Dredge was pretty much at loss for words this point, he didn't know if she should punch the woman or just walk away from this whole ordeal. I mean, dredge hated most humans but this was just drowning a box of handicapped kittens in a river. It was kind of like that scene in pulp fiction where butch was deciding if he should go back to save Mr.Wallace or just jet. But being the genocidal manic that dredge was, he would stay and fight steph. If you could call this fighting.

Pulling his amphistaff away dredge took a fighting stance towards the woman as he paced around her in the small circle of Vong. "Are you mad woman?" he said to her as he paced his prey. And this was coming from the guy who wanted to commit genocide against the galaxy to murder every last man woman and child. "You are mad." he said rather confused. Usually Dredge fought more competent opponents so he was thrown off a bit by steph and her rather strange ways of dealing with things. However the poison that just entered her cheek and into her blood stream would prove to be rather painful and crippling once it took hold, however with the amount of drugs she was on it could be a while if that happened. So dredge would wait until she made her next move. @[member="Steph Zenima"]

 

[Steph Zenima]

[Sorry for the lateness, I've been a lazy bint!]

Well, that didn't work out for the best.

Her teeth bit down and essentially the entirety of the woman's head began to vibrate. One of her teeth definitely cracked, but thankfully she kept the ones she had left, well, for now that is. You never know when the tooth fairy is going to come-a-swingin'.

Somewhere in this madness she had been disarmed, eh, sledgehammers are fun until you encounter people with the wits to dodge. Oh well, fists of fury would have to do.

“Mad?” she said almost quizzically, “ye've nae even begun to see mad, ken.” She craned her neck, as a slight prickle made itself known at the wound on her cheek. She ignored it. Aches and pains, moans and groans. Nothing new there. She smirked. “Wid ye like tae see MAD? Ah can gie ye MAD, MIN!”

She took a quick few steps to close the gab between them and a tightly balled right fist lashed out towards the vong's cheek. No fancy techniques here, sir, just a girl and her ham fists but watch out, those little balls of decrepit fury can be deceiving, they pack a surprising hit.

@[member="High Prophet Dredge"]