Holonet The Galaxy Needs YOUR Profanity (50,000 UC purse — disbursed)

[Jerec Asyr]

The good ship Infinity's Free was drifting in a customs lineup when Jerec Asyr — having just fraudulently passed inspection — took his feet off the dash and sat up straight. The airwaves were abuzz with a contest: a prize for the finest cusswords. Fifty thousand Underworld Credits, no joke whatsoever.

He called in immediately, and was displeased to learn that the holoshow's hosts considered his finest cussing a yawn. They'd heard it all before.


OOC/ Simple enough: just post yourself calling in to the Degrat and Churr Morning Show (they're both Squibs) to give us the finest in new Star Wars profanity. I'll distribute rewards for the best new SW cusswords, from a total pot of 50,000 UCs.

 

[Daiya]

"Hey caller, you're on the air with Degrat..."

"...and Churr. What do you got for us?"

"Hi. So am I actually on the HoloShow right now?" The voice is young, and giggles after her question. "That's so fething a-mazing!"

"You fething are! Is that your swear for us today?"

"Oh, no, no! It's 'Houks and Hairless Wookiees.'"

"'Houks and Hairless Wookiees'? I've never heard that one, have you?"

"I have not. 'Houks and Hairless Wookiees,' what does it mean?"

"Well, Houks and Hairless Wookiees! You mean you don't know?!"

"Ohh..."
"...Oh I get it."

"Houks and Hairless Wookiees! That might just be a winner!"

"It just might, we'll have to see what other swears come in. Thanks for sharing, caller."

"Thanks, bye!"

 

[Kal]

"Say what now?" Catching an open caller show host off guard was not an easy thing, but apparently Kal had managed.

"Spongehead. Someone overly guided by the brain and secondary organs. Often associated with irrationality, being driven by hormones, and so on." A long silence later, he felt the need to clarify. "Not terribly relatable to any but the body-hoppers listening, admittedly, but it could be adapted! A habit of uncritically taking statements as fact and/or imbibing substances?"​

"Alright then, that one's certainly new, eh Churr?"

 

[Amea Virou]

"Why does it have to be so long? Keep it simple, stupid." Amea shrugged and took a bite of her dried meat. "Jizz Cover"

"You know, when something goes real bad, real fast."

"Heard your last op turned into a Jizz cover, choom."

 

[Jerec Asyr]

Degrat and Churr bantered ad nauseam. Ad Jerec's nauseam, to be precise, but he kept listening out of perverse fascination. The spicehead Squibs winnowed through dozens of call-ins, each spicier than the last. In the end, they'd heard it all before except for three specific submissions: Amea Virou with 'jizz cover' (in the musical sense); Daiya with 'Houks and hairless Wookiees'; and Kal with 'spongehead.'

"And since we're not family-friendly—"

"I dunno, your mother was pretty friendly the other—"

"—the grand prize goes to 'jizz cover' in the musical sense!"

"In the musical sennnnnse! Thirty thousand credits! And ten thousand for the other two. That's all the time we have, you hairless jizz-cover sponge-Wookiees..."