Location: I am not okay.
Aurelian Veruna
The titles landed like ice cold water over her.
King Veruna. Madam Ambassador. Voice of Naboo.
They stripped the heat from the room and forced everything into lines and order. And the sudden mortifying embarrassment of her actions and how she presented herself made the blood in her face drain, as if caught under a spotlight at her err. Her spine straightened automatically, and she took a deep breath that cost her as she struggled to regain her bearing, chest heaving and hands slightly trembling even as Aurelian stood there all poise and seemingly effortless restraint and temperance.
The temperance she was
supposed to be for him.
It stung. It was a bitter pill to swallow.
And even as those amber eyes settled on her with the full weight of a king -- the king she had
known he could be -- her heart betrayed her, stirring despite herself. Body and breath responded before reason could catch up, even as her mind scolded her for it. For the foolishness. For noticing how carefully he was holding himself together as he spoke, each word placed with lawful, deliberate, and required surgical care.
She heard him.
And yet she still couldn't shake the way her chest ached at the cost.
When the king receded and it was Aurelian who stood before her instead, something in Sibylla finally was caught. And while her heart still hammered in her breast, she stood there, lower lip lightly quivering as the fire cooled enough that she could breathe again.
The thick dark fringe of her lashes fell, and her eyes set upon the stark contrast of his deeply tanned skin against the lighter honeyed tone of her own.
She swallowed hard, the lump forming in her throat making her eyes blink rapidly as she took another deep breath.
The realization came with his apology, spoken not as King Veruna but as Aurelian, and it struck her with quiet, aching clarity.
This was
why she had come.
Not only because of Aether's broadcast, nor even because of Aurelian's. Not solely because of treaties and optics and the cascading political consequences already tearing through the Republic. Those mattered, yes, but beneath them was something far more intimate and compelling. The entirety of it -- the Diarchy, the crucifixions, talking with Aether, the discovery of the broadcast and the chaos that followed -- had struck her all at once, overwhelming in its cruelty and speed. It had shaken her so deeply that she had not been able to remain still.
She had needed to move. To act. To
go.
Her feet had carried her to Aurelian's office before her thoughts could catch up, before she could fully sort through what Aether had said or reconcile the storm of emotion crashing through her. All the while, calls had poured in. Nobility. Trade blocs. Mandalorian clans. Republic delegates. Each demanding clarity she did not yet possess.
And yet she had come
here.
Because beneath the duty, beneath the titles and the noise, she had been drawn to the one person she'd unconsciously fled to whom she could react to this as
herself. Not as Naboo's Voice. Not as an Ambassador.
As Sibylla.
And when Aurelian had greeted her with that half strangled grin and his poised, maddening charm and sweet words only to speak to her as King thereafter, had made her stomach twist and clench and anger flare at the fuel of his seeming effortless composure.
...Nor do I care if you're perfect. I only care if you're real with me. Because out there, I'm already drowning in pretense. Don't make me drown here too...
That is what Sibylla had confessed in the privacy of his office in the wake of the disaster of Wielu, their near death, and their argument.
She wanted him, the
real him -- but how to reconcile that when he was her King. Doing the duty she had told him, nay
encouraged him, supported him, to do.
A nerve in her jaw ticked, and she clenched her teeth, jaw tightening in response.
Was she okay?
The question cut through the ringing in her bones. A second passed. Then another. And then Sibylla drew in another slow, careful breath, eyes tracing briefly to where his thumb brushed her knuckles before lifting again.
The conflict settled there. Churned in her hazel eyes.
Because he was her
king.
And that stood in direct opposition to how she had
needed him in this moment.
It only underscored what this dance with him had turned into -- an unorthodox, precarious, and far more complex waltz than either of them had pretended. That complexity had reached into her, shifted her, drawn her here in a way she
never would have allowed herself before.
And standing there now, hand still in his, Sibylla understood just how
deeply it had affected her.
"No," she said quietly with raw honesty, her voice edged with a tightness that even her regained composure could not hide.
"I am not."
And those were all the words she could manage then, even as she blinked rapidly and felt all the clash of emotions stir within her.
She had no words.
Not yet. Perhaps not a minute or five from now.
For once in her political life, Sibylla felt lost.