Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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The Dark Side. And the Light.

With a sly smile and a half closed eye, Connor chuckled slightly and waved his finger at her.

”Very good – very good. Your attitude is sharp, you know just what you want to say and say it. Admirable. Something I perhaps need to learn to do more.”

He turned to look at the Academy ruins and crossed his arms in thought, gently biting his finger and weighing up his options. Right now, he didn’t have anyone to talk to. Could this girl be just someone?

”I have Sith Magic inside me. Rooted to my brain stem and feeding off my emotions and thoughts every single second of every single day. Without warning, if emotions peak, it wakes and gives me these visions that twist and haze everything before me. I live with it, but it’s killing me – it’s dictating my path and reminding me of what I will, possibly, become and bring to others.”

His voice was firm, devoid of emotion, and rather confident.

”I am barrelling down to a choice; I am not favoured by those around me and I don’t know what else to offer them without the shadow of doubt cast over me like a plague. I can only stay like this for so long. I’m here to find what path could lie ahead of me, and it’s a path you’ve already taken, but trust me if I were you I wouldn’t be wasting away like you seem to be doing – I’d be out there fighting to change things, forever. To inspire, to teach, to lead and to survive.”

It was like a tap turned on, and the words just flowed.

[member="Keira Ticon"]
 
It wasn’t something Keira had ever considered before, the way she acted and how she spoke. It just was, and there wasn’t much to be done about it. In the end it came down to the fact that she’d been taught from a young age to speak her mind without worrying about the consequences. This was a situation no different, except for perhaps who it was she was speaking to. “If you aren’t saying what you mean each time you open your mouth, then it’s best to say nothing at all. It’s the only way to communicate effectively.” And here I thought it was common sense by now. That was a demonstration, in her mind, of the passivity of the Jedi.

Not responding right away to what was spoken and unquestionably directed towards her, she instead considered the tale woven. With her being indirectly allied with the Sith through the Ravens, there was a gap between their ways of processing those he considered to be enemy. In her experience they made a powerful ally but a ruthless enemy. But never had she had to experience their animosity firsthand, not even in her time as a Jedi. This served as something to consider, but given the treacherous path already walked, it was unlikely her mind would be changed by one story told.

“It’s simple. You do what you think is right, because in the end what everybody else thinks doesn’t matter. Kark what they say. Don’t consider yourself a Jedi, or anything. Just look at yourself as a person, like you said you are today. That’s the only way it’s going to work, because otherwise you’ll keep turning yourself in circles and getting more confused. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do for others. It’s what you do for yourself that should be your biggest concern. And I already know how you guys preach looking out for innocents and whatever else, but forget it for a second. Quit living by whatever code you do, and just think. Stop caring about what’s right and wrong for the galaxy, and just think of yourself as priority. That’s the problem with you Jedi. You deny the self and look at the big picture. Do that, and then tell me you’re confused.” Normally she wouldn’t have given him the time of day, but there was something about what he’d been through that she connected with on some level.

With a not quite friendly smile, she shrugged one shoulder. “Or you can keep thinking how you are right now, and end up getting nowhere. It’s up to you. But if I were you I’d take it into consideration. Sometimes those of us that have walked the line before and eventually left it behind know what we’re talking about.”

Silently she looked on at his consideration of the Academy and likely her words. “I don’t know what you’re looking for here, but all you’re going to find is dark side energy. If your goal is to prevent your corruption, then you made a poor decision in coming here.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]
 
Connor turned to the Academy and then back to the girl.

”All I’m looking for is a reason. A reason why someone could turn to the Dark Side in the pursuit of good and not be labelled a villain, because it is possible, I know it is.”

Bringing his hand to his brow, he gently massaged above his eyebrows and felt the surge of pressure at his temples which was never a good thing.

”I didn’t expect anyone to be here so I don’t come expecting answers; this was something I wanted to do alone away from the moniker of being a Jedi because right now I serve the Jedi but I don’t feel like I am accepted as one.”

His hand stopped and pushed gently in the centre of this head.

”I don’t need a lecture from someone like you because you don’t instil confidence in me that following the Dark Side of the Force makes you stronger, it in fact makes you weaker with nothing but a big mouth and lots of opinions.”

Connor turned his head and looked at her.

”What are you doing with your life – what is your goal, your dream; what do you hope to achieve right now?”

[member="Keira Ticon"]
 
It seemed that she'd touched a nerve with that bit of advice, but it was rare for her not to test some boundary when it came to discussions like this, when the two of them were on very opposite sides in terms of their ideology. Everyone always had their opinions, and he was no exception, but it always circled back to the sides of the Force and how one was more inherently evil than the other. It couldn't be denied that there were those out there who followed the dark side and wreaked havoc for nothing more than the sake of it, and she'd witnessed it firsthand herself. There was, however, a fine line between that and fighting for a cause. The squabbling over a millions of years old dogma wasn't going to solve anything, in the big picture.

Sighing quietly, Keira had to restrain a roll of her eyes. This was going to be interesting. "I didn't say anything about it making me stronger. I just said that if you want answers you should forget about whatever code you've been taught to follow and listen to your own moral compass. Y'know, the one you had before you were told to obey everything the Jedi stand for. It's there for a reason, believe it or not. And if you'll recall, all we have are opinions. There isn't any proof as to who's right and who's wrong." That likely proved nothing more than all that he'd said about her previously, but she wasn't one to back down quite so easily. Sometimes the problem was people overthinking things, and it seemed that was his issue as well. Worrying too much wouldn't solve anything.

For all of her disregard of his philosophy, she did take time to mull over his final question. There wasn't any easy answer, then again, he probably wasn't expecting one. "Right now? I can't think of much. Survival, I guess. I fight to keep my friends and family safe. There isn't much else to it. I don't spend time thinking about my hopes and dreams when there are more important things to be done. It's not about what could be or should be, it's about what has to be. I fight for them and do what I think is right, and that's really all that matters." It was really that simple, and in her mind, there wasn't anything else left to explain.

"You guys are always saying how you should look inside of yourself instead of to the world for your answers, so why not take your own advice for a change? Practice what you preach and all that." Really, diplomatic discussions were not her cup of tea. There was a reason she was better at solving problems with a saber in hand rather than attempting to negotiate through them. It all ended in blood most times anyway. At least when it came to the criminal underworld. With her conversation partner being a Jedi, or at least awfully close to one, she figured that that aspect likely changed.

"Don't go lecturing me until you turn your observations on yourself."

[member="Connor Harrison"]
 
He frowned, slightly exaggerated out of bewilderment.

”Fight? How can you fight to protect friends and family? Where’s your allies – your army? You’re just a kid with a very strong moral compass, and that’s not enough to fight what’s out there to bring your friends and family to dust I can assure you. I know it’s about what has to be, but you think you can fight what’s out there on your own?”

Connor shook his head and pulled his greatcoat tighter.

”Never going to happen.”

The truth was, Connor knew what he was fighting for, but not why. He had no family, and his friends were easily blurred with fellow Jedi, so it was hard to pinpoint what was personal to him and what was simply engrained on his brain from years as a Silver Jedi.

”I am here to look inside myself, because I know that’s what I need to do, don’t worry. And all I’m saying is that you just seem…lost to me, that’s all.”

For a second, the barrier dropped and he could imagine if he wasn’t careful, maybe one day he himself could be as alone and dark as Keira. And then, what of Syala? Where would she be without a Master to guide her forward – she had entrusted him, and he had sworn to show her the way. Would she be doomed to follow him on a path he had hovered over walking down – what if Syala lost her bright-eyed innocence and her natural beauty to look like this; a result of betrayal and misconception from the man she trusted. Burning amber eyes, a bloodlust, a dark aura.

”Maybe I could help you find your way back from this corruption, if you let me.”

He was a fine one to offer help - but he had helped others, and he could still help those who needed it if he saw the want.

[member="Keira Ticon"]
 
For once in her life, Keira wasn’t sure how to respond. And so she was silent, for a time, his words having caused her to falter in her beliefs where she never had before. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t had bouts of questioning herself before, as they had been frequent in months past. This was something new, however, and she wasn’t quite sure how to process it. “That implies I fight alone. I don’t. I might be just another criminal or darksider in your eyes, but we look out for each other. It’s more than can be said for similar groups that populate the galaxy.” What she wouldn’t mention was that among her allies were the Sith, as that would bring them right back around to where they started.

It was true that she was lost, but at this point she wasn’t quite sure if she wanted to be found. It wasn’t as if she was exactly completely satisfied with life at this very moment, but she was perfectly aware that things could be much worse. At this point in things she wasn’t one to have the luxury of picking and choosing, and oftentimes settled for what was the best option at that point in time. In another place at a different time in her life she might have fought for things to be different, but it seemed as if she had been another person back then. Now things were just a bit different, and she still didn’t know how to comprehend it all just yet.

“What if I’m not sure whether I want to fix this or not?” There it was again – the second guessing herself. “At this point I’m not certain it would be worth it anymore.” When she looked to him again there was a falter present in her gaze that hadn’t been there before, a well of uncertainty that had only just been breached. It was rare of her to show this side to anyone, least of all someone she had only just met and hardly trusted, least of all with thoughts like this. Somewhere inside of her there was a fragment that wanted to be saved, but bigger than that was the aspect of her that couldn’t care less about any of it.

“I’m lost, sure. But what happens when I don’t want to be found?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]
 
With a small chuckle, brought on by the fact he finally felt he had the upper hand, Connor shook his head again and looked at the poor girl before him.

”You look out for each other? Oh sweetheart, please. Get that out your head RIGHT away if you want to survive on your own.”

Casually, he itched the back of his head and turned around, and pointed to the Academy.

”You think this place would be in ruins if those who followed the Dark Side of the Force looked after each other? No, it would still be here, or if not here, flourishing elsewhere. What do we have instead? A group of blind, brutal murderers and sorcerers who class themselves as Sith when all they are doing is trying to better the other; to claim more glory than their brother or sister, to prove themselves worthy of survival. But when there is one weak link - ” he twisted his hand and made a rock on the floor implode in a shower of dust and small debris, ” – it’s eradicated to make way for the next.”

He reached into his inner pocket and pulled out a small comlink, to which he pulled up a frequency and walked over, holding the digits on show up to Keira.

”If you don’t want to fix it, stop wasting our time and just turn around and go sulk in a cave somewhere with that angst inside you, but if you want to decide who Kiera really is, then take this frequency down.”

Connor looked at her, arm held up with his com. It would be her choice.

”There is a Sith Lord out there. [member="Darth Arcanix"]. Contact her on this frequency and tell her Connor Harrison sends his regards. If you want fixing, and to stand tall above the criminals and darksiders you seem to lump yourself in with, then contact her.”

He lowered his arm and pocketed the com.

”Granted I may not be able to fix you myself, but I can see you want it more than I do. My time will come, but it’s not now. Yours, however…”

Connor trailed off and folded his arms, letting the bitter breeze wrap around them both as he waited for her repartee.

[member="Keira Ticon"]
 
There wasn't much to say in way of a retort, and all Keira could really do was consider her options and which path was the best for her to walk. It had been too long since she'd even considered having the option of turning back and walking a different, less precarious road, and now that that exact choice was staring her right in the face, that doubtfulness had reared its ugly head once again. But it would do no good to be paralyzed with the decision this time, and picking a fork in the path that would lead her where she wanted to go. There was a chance at redemption, and it wouldn't be easy or quick by any means, but it was there. And it was all up to one commlink frequency.

On her person she carried her own long-range communicator, and it was that she produced now, quickly scanning and memorizing the sequence that had been pulled up, entering it into the device but not pressing the final button to connect the line just yet. This still required some deliberation, even if she was mostly certain in her resolve. What would come of the brief communication with this Sith she wasn't sure of, but curiosity and a willingness to change drove her forward. This was the right thing to do, but despite her assuredness there was still doubt. However, there was only one way to determine that, and it was taking the plunge.

"I don't call myself Sith. I try not to affiliate with any of the Orders in the galaxy. But I'm not going to argue semantics." That discussion had begun to bore her, more due to that particular talk getting them nowhere but back to what defined light and dark, and who had the authority to define someone good or evil. There would always be a divide between them regardless of how she aligned herself, and there always would be. Perhaps some of it would be mended with this change, but that wasn't her concern. Nothing else but the moment itself was.

Chewing the inside of her cheek she sighed quietly, finally thumbing the button that would spark a connection across the lightyears that separated her from the Sith. It was now or never. "[member="Darth Arcanix"], I'd like to inform you that [member="Connor Harrison"] sends his regards." Without waiting for a reply she severed the connection, lowering the commlink.

There was more of a confident look to her gaze, a self-sureness that hadn't been present before. "Now what?"
 
Connor nodded. Had he taken his first step into the mist of the Dark Side by ushering this fragile soul towards the monster that was Darth Arcanix, or had he stepped once more into the Light by at least giving her a chance at finding herself rather than a path of self-destruction.

”I don’t think she calls herself a Sith also. Well, not by most standards anyway. And all you do is wait.”

He rubbed his chin on his chest for a moment, feeling the pit in his stomach slowly recede at his actions and looked over to her.

”Don’t under estimate her like I did, that’s all I say. I did that and I am bearing the scars because of it. Leave your ego at the door and just think about what you say and don’t let her twist your thoughts. And I’m staying here for a while. You can stay if you want, it’s up to you. Plenty more questions in my head that I need to ask myself so don’t feel obliged.”

The self-assured smile went and he looked, for once, solemn as waited for her choice.

”If you’re worried you won’t see me again, I think our paths will cross in time, don’t worry.”

And somehow he felt Arcanix would be the centre of that rendezvous; for which side of the Force, he didn’t yet know.

[member="Keira Ticon"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"] [member="Keira Ticon"]

Coruscant

Taeli was sitting at her desk, within her private study, going over more details from the journal she had recovered with Maja on Kashyyyk. It was truly a fascinating study, going through and reading the words of the ancient Sith, but also from successive queen of the Sayormi people. And then her comlink chimed with a message, causing her to sigh a little. Always in the middle of her reading time, she thought, opening up her comlink to hear the message.

"Darth Arcanix, I'd like to inform you that Connor Harrison sends his regards," a female voice said before it clicked off. Well that was weird, but she smiled a little to herself. Seemed that she hadn't left Jedi Harrison's mind in the time she had seen him on Nar Shaddaa. How interesting, but it would be rude not to reply. Re-routing the signal back to its source, even if they terminated their comlink, she would have a live audio feed, no matter where they were.

"Does he now?" she said, smiling as she leaned back in her chair. "Might I ask who this and why Connor doesn't just call me himself, it's been ages and I was wondering if he was okay. Is he there, I wanted to apologize for the rough treatment he got on Nar Shaddaa, but I couldn't let him confiscate an artifact."
 
Well, that was a faster reply than either of them had been expecting, or at the very least her. Her experience in interacting with the Sith was null beyond the fragile alliance the Ravens held with them, but even then Keira wasn't sure how far that pact of goodwill extended within the Order. They were a sect notorious for the betrayal of even their closest associates, and the same went for the criminal syndicate she called home. This was her first time speaking directly to any of them, but she wasn't afraid in any sense. Instead a strange sense of calm washed over her, its source unknown. "It's Keira Ticon," A beat passed, "From the Ravens, if that means anything." Likely it didn't.

Her amber gaze glanced to Connor with a raised eyebrow and a faint smile. This was a different sort of interaction between them now, with the Sith at the center of it all. Whatever had formed between the two of them, opposites in some respects and more than a bit similar in others, it was something she hadn't anticipated in coming here. Nar Shaddaa was the hub for a number of meetings, it seemed, as Arcanix brought up the name of the very planet whose surface she stood on. "Funny you mention Nar Shaddaa, because that's where we are right now." This was a planet she'd frequented in ages past, for purposes more volatile than simply talking.

"I don't think he shares the same sentiments about it all. But I'll let him talk, if he agrees." There was some purpose he had in mind for having her make the call instead of him, and it went deeper than helping to turn her from the corruption that had taken root. If she didn't know better she would say that he was hesitant to confront his past, something she couldn't necessarily blame him for. There were events in her memory that had the potential to be brought on by the appearance of certain individuals as well, though she'd already confronted those fears in the months passed.

This was a different sort of battle, a mental one. And for better or worse, she was prepared.

[member="Darth Arcanix"], [member="Connor Harrison"]
 
Arms folded. Head down. The crack of the com coming into life caused his eyes to dart up, but his posture to stay still. Connor heard the voice of Arcanix, Sith Lord and sister of Master Corvus Raaf, pinnacle of the Jedi Order. It was something out of a bad holo-movie.

Listening to the same self-assured voice, he laughed to himself as his name was mentioned and a empty apology. Lifting his head, he gave a "told you so" smile to Keira as she spoke, telling nothing but the obvious, which was good. When it came to him having a chance, he hesitated...but nodded and held his hand out for the com to pass into his palm. His thumb hit the signal button.

”Apology accepted, Lord Arcanix.”

He looked at Keira for a second, her young amber eyes full of poison watched his every move as the com rested inches from his lips.

”I have a bright young thing here who needs showing what sort of twisted queen she will become if she follows the path that you did. I'd be ever so grateful if you could show her one day. Oh, and I have unfinished business with you. I'll be in touch.”

Killing the signal, he threw the com back to Keira, looking a little bemused.

”Now she'll either sit and smirk and think we're pawns to her little game, or she may well be interested in seeing what I've teased her with. You. And it's up to you if you follow. I think you need to see what path lies ahead if you choose to walk it.”

He smiled at the thought of what the Sith Lord would be doing on hearing his reply.

[member="Keira Ticon"] | [member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"] [member="Keira Ticon"]

Taeli wondered how he would react, and then she didn't have to any longer. She felt extreme annoyance . . . yet again, but not because he had been a typical Jedi to her. NO, what annoyed her the most was he got the honorific wrong AND called her a twisted queen for being a Sith. Taking a moment to calm down, and failing, she re-activated the com.

"Now you listen here, Connor Harrison, and listen REALLY GOOD," she said, knowing the annoyance was seeping into her voice, but it was lecture time. "Number one, it is Lady for a female Sith Master, not Lord. Go back to grammar school if you can't get gender honorifics right. Number two, I'm not a twisted queen for being a Sith. I'm sincerely sorry for that incident, and don't forget I gave you plenty of opportunities to WALK away and gave you the bacta to heal yourself AFTER you forced me to hit you with Force Lightning by throwing two tables at me. Number three, if you've got unfinished business with me, then actually call me yourself and we can meet. I'd actually like to see that handsome face of yours again."

Taking a breath as she had rambled all that out, just like her sister would, she addressed the girl that was with him.

"Sorry about that, Keira, our friend here seems to think the worst of me from ONE experience that HE walked right into and I gave him the chance to just leave," she said, much calmer. "Anywho, I think I've had the pleasure of meeting a relative of yours, Lisa? Regardless, how can I help you today, as I'm guessing Mr. Jedi over there had a purpose for having you call me."
 
Though the situation itself was serious in all respects, Keira couldn't help but crack a smile at the absurdity of it all. At the moment she was stuck between two powers, the Jedi and the Sith, but the two were bickering back and forth like nothing more than your average galactic teenagers. It would have been amusing, had their not been an unspoken danger lurking just beneath the surface. There was a volatility there, a threat that had the potential to be released at any moment. It was similar to a snake, coiled and prepared to strike when given the chance. This was an interesting mess she'd managed to get sucked into.

Her finger found the button that would reconnect after a few moments of processing the words spoken. This woman knew her family, which was something unexpected. Apparently the other Ticons had been getting out more than she thought. "She's my cousin, yeah." There would be no comment made on the encounter that had unfolded between this Sith and the Jedi she was currently with. It had likely been both of their faults that something had transpired in the first place, but everyone was fond of pointing fingers and leaving it to others to take the blame. Anything to escape having to take responsibility.

"It beats me why he wanted me to contact you, except to settle his personal vendetta. I was under the impression Jedi weren't supposed to hold grudges." That was undeniably a pointed barb. "I'd guess he wants us to meet. Talk. To see what becomes of our time together. The rest of it is a bit much to explain." To say the least. She didn't see the point of going into specifics, especially with one such as this. Arcanix was friendly now, but that was bound to change with the drop of a hat.

"If you do decide to accept his...offer, I think you'll be able to find us once you get to Nar Shaddaa. Or we can meet on neutral ground, if it'll stop the two of you from being at each other's throats." There were a number of ways this could go, but she had a feeling it would only include those on the less profitable end of the spectrum. Things hardly went smoothly.

[member="Darth Arcanix"], [member="Connor Harrison"]
 

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