Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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The Apple

Calina shook her head. "Giving in to pain, showing this," she gestured at her now pink cheeks and bloodshot eyes "brings only more pain. Its a weakness. Love is a weakness, friendship is a weakness, compassion and empathy both weaknesses. All punishable. So until Anaya's heart stops beating, this is my lot because I can't escape her, believe me I've tried." she sighed and felt a great wave of self pity roll over her.

You could have killed her by now, twisted and half dead as she already is. You could get back on a transport back to Archangel and end her now but you don't. Calina ignored the voice that rolled up from the back of her mind, sounding very much like her fathers. She shook her self mentally, shrugged it all away and forced it back under lock and key. She looked up and offered Sarge a tight lipped smile.

"I appreciate the sentiment all the same."

[member="Sarge Potteiger"]
 
A low chuckle parted his lips, rumbling out of his throat with only the barest hint of amusement. "It is, in a way, the irony, I suppose." He smiled, "That somehow the strength in teamwork is pushed down by the belief that self sufficiency is the way to go." The smile fell, and he shook his head. "But while things like love are punishable, the benefits they provide make up for it. Sure, I'd never felt any pain sharper than losing Cira... but you've seen what I've done in the aftermath.

It's a hell of a lot more than I've been doing. All of this - friendship, love, compassion... it all helps you find purpose outside the self. Some people don't want that purpose, or feel it isn't necessary, but here, now, I gave you something to wipe your tears; that compassion doesn't make me weak.

It just means I'm able to acknowledge that I've been there. You can't be strong without knowing what weakness is, and sometimes it's those self-styled weaknesses that give you true strength."
 
"The last person I was able to call friend, she decapitated in front of me and made me dig him an unmarked grave on backwater world" Her response was flat, void of the emotion she should have had discussing such a matter. But she'd long converted that grief into rage.. "This isn't about what I believe, this is about survival. Whatever benefits you might see, I don't and I can't, because such recklessness will get people killed. Dreaming is dangerous."

She smiled slightly. "Don't misunderstand me though, my doom and gloom attitude will only serve me up until a certain point. Maybe then I can dream of such things as love, compassion and friendship...until then," she shrugged and shook her head. "Until then I can only set goals, and I only have one true goal. The rest are stepping stones towards it." She moved to return the data pad and the collection of droids into her back back, sealing it before closing a hand over the handle of the briefcase.

She paused, a contemplative look on her face. "Is there a way I can get a message to you, should I need to?"

[member="Sarge Potteiger"]
 

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