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Approved NPC "The 3 sisters." Meran Mechanics security team

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Lyth Meran

Bullet with Butterfly wings.
JtZaMP8.jpg

http://imgur.com/gallery/JtZaMP8

Name: the 3 sisters
Intent: to add crew to Meran Mechanics and faces to names of Clan Meran plus create a security team.
and a mercenary unit.
Affiliation: Clan Meran
Availability: Unique
Quality: c

Type: infantry

Strength: 3

Description: 3 female mandos all from Clan Meran and sisters if nod by blood by battle
the 3 sisters are

Dagoranaka ( Dag ) : in blue a skilled sniper armed with a S-X5 she wears a blue plastoid armor and is commonly known to be hyperactive and bubbly.
she tends to be overly hyper active and is the teams moral and morel center.
Like all Merans she was a foundling hailing from Bespin and was adopted in to the clan at the age of 3.
there she was bullied like the rest of the Agoge this is where she met her Sisters. and they all became the unit you see now.
+ she is a crack shot
- Can be overly childish
- is afraid of everything

Rocha : in red the defector leader of the team and Melee fighter born a thalidomide baby she required Cybernetics to function. this is something she uses to great effect wielding a MD5 and a smaller vibroblade as backup. she wears a Quadanium plated armor.
She can be very controlling having obsessive compulsive being meticulous and almost obsessive with her planning.
she like all Merans was adopted in to the clan being a born Mandalorian she is in fact from Mandalor.
+ the tactical genius of the group
- has OCD
- is an exclusively melee
Gurda : in green the Grunt of the litter not runt Gurda id the backbone of the group and is the bulwark app on witch ever enemy must cross she is the typical mando all blasters and badassery.
Like all members of the Meran Clan she was adopted into the clan being a Correllian at birth.
growing up in the Agoge she developed a lust for combat preferring to run and fight with the boys.
She tends to hate girly things. growing up in the agoge she focused on her body more than her brain.
+ physically strong
+ Fearless
_ is by far the least intelligent member of the group
_ is overly reckless often putting herself in danger to aid her fellow sisters,
armed with a http://starwarsrp.net/topic/77000-grtd/
and
http://starwarsrp.net/topic/87897-electromagnetic-linear-accelerator-assault-rifle/
Typically the elder children / adults of the Meran clan leave and join larger clans the 3 sisters never did that they left and became benefactors of the Clan. the 3 sisters are more typically Bounty hunters but tend to live on the Meran Mechanics station.
 
[member="Lyth Meran"]

So a few things that leap out to me and they shall follow below:
  • Affiliation would be Clan Meran in this case, not Mandalorians
  • The descriptions for each of the sisters needs to be increased to at least a full paragraph each, including strengths and weaknesses
  • For some of the equipment, specifically the Adennkyr and the Scylla Sith Swords, I will need confirmation of some sort of how you acquired them considering they are for specific people or factions
  • As a quality A unit, they will require development. 15 to 20 quality posts will do.
 
Your submissions are improving with each one but there are still quite a few minor spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors here. In the future I want you to consider having a fellow writer look over your subs to help you correct these things before posting them into the Codex. Not only will this improve the quality of the subs but it will help you with future submissions to have a second set of eyes look over them for you.

You can use the Pre-Factory/Codex forum in the Mandalorian faction for this. I am certain the other faction members would be happy to help you out there.

Approved.

[member="Lyth Meran"]
 
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