That Thing

[Matsu Ike]

Location: Toola

The cold wastes of Toola were well not so bad. Matsu had come here to work on things and visit one of the hunting outposts where the Satochi jedi researchers had been. THey were looking for jako beasts here they were stufying for their fur pelts and horns. Well the dead ones, the natives used them and sold the excess to them while some of the live ones were tagged and tracked but the hunters were humane before she stood on the landing pad looking over the building. A smile on her face while preparing to help train the padawan with some of the ideas going forward as she rubbed her hands together. "Ready to have some fun padawan?"

 

[Hopeman12]

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[member="Matsu Ike"]

While standing behind Master Ike in the cold, he realized she had a funny look in her eyes as she scanned the tundra wastelands of Toola. "Yes Master" He replied to her as he wondered what he got himself into. Wearing a over sized winter jacket over his jedi armor, Jordun also carried all the supplies for his master in a very heavy backpack.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Jordun Darko."]

Matsu looked at him while she levitated over the snow remaining there and the buildings they had were small but the beast pens there being taken care of as she could see some of the jako beasts and Jun-la's within it before touching the metal. "Your stuff can go inside, we have bodygloves inside for the winter and circlets depending on what you like." She had made both for the jedi and both worked for making the chill of the cold disappear but the circlet you could have on your ankle or your wrist instead of a big thing. Saved space before she was preparing. "Then tell me what you have been taught within the order please."

 

[Hopeman12]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

"I have been taught many techniques in lightsaber combat" Jordun said as he sat down on the cold floor. "But i feel torn between two sides when i try to use the force in general". Jordun shook his head as he scrolled through his holophone and closed his eyes. In less than two weeks, His former crush and master Corvus Raaf had both rejected him and left the order. The rejection alone gave him dark thoughts but after he heard she left the order, Jordun was a lost soul. "There is so much pain in my life master, and it hurts so much" He said to Master Ike.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Jordun Darko."]

Matsu was looking at him and listening as she brushed surface thoughts. her mind feeling out what he was thinking about and the image of corvus was there but she didn't know why else. Her friend and reason she had even returned to help the jedi was gone for now but who knew. She might return one day as the jedi master spoke playing with a jako pup. "There will always be challenges and dangers, your thoughts are strange without entering your mind to read them outright but Corvus did what she had to do. It was her burden alone." She stood up and held the pup while looking around in the snow. "These creatures are wonderful judges of character and they help when you are feeling sad, tw people I cared a lot about passed and left me alone. So I found solace in my training and in my work."

 

[Hopeman12]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

"Master, why did i hear that you got banned from the order?" Jordun asked like a innocent child. He sat cross-legged and looked upon his master in interest.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Jordun Darko."]

"That is a very complicated question nd I would not want to color your opinion." She stood there for a moment and then turned in place clapping her hands as she worked the ice and rock into seats. Sitting down and crossing her legs. "The short version is I trusted the wrong people, the long version is I did things. Things I regret but do not dwell on, things that if I had the choice I likely would still do again. The order before Corvus was very different often suffocating and I liberated knowledge copying it to datacrons instead of keeping it for the council to horde and say was theirs."

"Had I done more we might still have those holocrons instead of them being missing, instead of the entire jedi vaults being empty. So that was one thing, the second was I killed and I was good at it. Able to bring the wrath of the heavens to smite the darkside and I did in two battles against the sith. Killing many of their soldiers before their numbers could overwhelm my men. THe old saying a jedi should protect all life is easy to preach but try practicing it when you try to comfort a dying man, when you stand among the wounded and know you have the power and the knowledge to stop at least for a time the carnage at a piece of your soul. No one elses."

"Which is what hurt the most, I will never deny the danger and double edged sword of it al. The jedi teaching are that life is sacred but there is a problem with that. Because jedi are still selfish. If you are walking and see someone being attacked. You step in yes to defend the weak but in doing so what are you going to do? You shouldn't harm him or attack but if you do not he will kill you and then the one you were interfering to protect will still be in danger. So you will forgo and attack to stop him from killing you. You can call it noble to not strike unless he does but you are protecting your own life as much as theirs."

She was looking at him for a reaction of anything she had seen it all before. "And some did not like that, some did not like that I was calm and serene about it instead of balling my eyes out and going mad from the guilt. Instead I sank into the force and discovered that I am broken, I am damaged just like everyone else is in my own special way. I am an extremest to the code, instead of promoting ignorance I promote knowledge, instead of death I see them joining the force and instead of emotions I feel peace. Actual and whole peace at the situation. I took my punishment, being severed from the force is no easy trick to do on its own."

She actually smiled now more proud of herself. "Let alone severing the force of someone who follows the light. The wall that keeps one from feeling the force works because there is darkness within their soul and heart. If there is none the force doesn't know how to react and it can be fixed. I found a way back, a loop in their hole, the specifics of which took me around the galaxy finding force sects and learning more then I ever did within the jedi alone. I have communed with beings older then the notion of time, I have seen the landscape of Mortis and walked on the world beyond shadows. The five priestesses showed me how to live after death when it comes."

Okay some pride so sue her but the jedi master was there and had a grin on her face. "And I have made friends, Corvus Raaf is my friend she sought me out and talked to me. A banished jedi, she invited me back because I had more to offer experience and knowledge wise when the jedi were going through their rough patches. I have made friends of trustworthy members of the Republic, I've made friends with the old grandmaster of the silver jedi talking to her after it had happened and she understood. Corvus understood that I can't change the past, I can only acknowledge what I have done and work towards a brighter future."

The jedi remained there looking at the padawan while she raised an eyebrow to see what he said and she was not sure. Telling the truth that she was not the ideal jedi and knowing she had massive flaws that were a dangerous thing. Slowly though one of the pups she had was there with her able to be in her lap while she was playing with it. "I will not deny my past but I can't fix it, I can only move forward and try to atone. I do not have the luxury to live solely in the past where I can look at the mistakes of others and hide my own by calling all of theirs to light. I need to look towards the present to see what I can do in the future."