Public Tea With Tiland VII: Talus

[Tiland Kortun]

Talus Grasslands

A wind, rich with the scent of grass and fresh earth, swept across the land ahead of him, bending the grass low in great sweeping waves. A great green ocean stretching as far as the eye could see behind him. Ahead, one of the starports shone against the growing purple twilight. Not much more than a day's walk away, and he was in no rush. The growing night felt like it was going to be nice. Warm, but not too warm. Brisk enough to be cozy with a brazier and a nice cup of tea.

That would be perfect. Tiland took a long breath and smiled beneath his beard. He set his walking staff on the ground and lowered his satchel to rest in the grass next to it, and lowered himself to ground, unfolding a small camp chair from inside the bag, and setting it on a patch of dry ground. This was followed by a small, portable table, a gas-fired stove, several things of water, and a small satchet of herbs. On an afterthought, he added four wooden mugs, hand-carved by their look. He'd picked them up from a tramp merchant outpost over on Imynusoph. Aeshi Tillian had been her name. Angry, she was, and flinty, but she kept it in check. Great potential in the Force, with her gifts, and her talents, but she never tried to tap into it too far. Just like that Eldin Daine fellow.

But that was their journeys to make. They had to work through their own struggles and their own pains. Their own paths to walk. The Force was as much a living entity as he was, always shifting, always moving, guiding instincts and events. Like any connection, it had it's ups and downs.

As he contemplated this, his hands were busy, measuring out small scoops of herbs, crushing them in one hand, and scattering them in the water that had begun to come to a boil. The scent of crisp tea-leaves and associated herbs fill the air as they brewed. He smiled again and leaned back against the small chair, cupping the warmth in his hand, and enjoying the sight of the sun slowly sinking towards the horizon. Perhaps there would be other people coming. Perhaps not. Only the Force knew. And he'd enjoy whatever it came.

 

[Nikolai Cridu]

After the endless duracrete and plasteel morass that was Jutrand, Nik felt he had never seen anything as beautiful as Talus.

In place of whirring, honking airspeeders, there were flocks of singing birds. In place of holo-billboards and stark light fixtures, there were a few lone trees rising from the swaying sea of grass. There were no seething crowds of sentients, their lives and emotions tangled in a dance of quiet desperation, only a simple pattern of life and death - small creatures hunting or foraging, building nests, finding mates, laying eggs, and finally passing on into the dirt below, fertilizer for the plants that would feed the next generation. That simplicity felt pure.

Pausing in his hike, his sides heaving - he wasn't in as good of shape as he'd thought - Nik drank it all in. The grass stood tall, nearly as tall as he was in places. There was no sign of anything sentients had built for miles around, and the wind smelled clean. He would have found it beautiful even before he had learned to feel the Living Force; it reminded him of the wild parts of Gannaria, where his family had gone camping every summer since he'd been five years old. But now, with his senses expanded to feel the living whole of the grassland...

Now it was beyond beautiful to him. It was an opportunity to listen, to learn, and to soothe his soul.

Nik shook his head, forcing back the flood of images and sensations flowing into him through the Living Force as best he could. He was here for a purpose. That first day he'd stepped into the Jedi Temple on Jutrand, there had been someone else there, someone who radiated the wisdom and compassion that legends of the Jedi spoke of. As so many of the Jedi had left to join the wars to the galactic east, trying to hold back and even make gains against the tyrannical Sith and genocidal Bryn'adul, this one had not taken on the aspect of the warrior.

Nik had never killed anything larger than a bug, and he wasn't sure he had it in him to take a sentient life. Even in the horrific rakghoul warrens beneath New Rythou back on Qina, where those fighting the monsters had definitely saved lives, the young Jedi had been unable to ignore that there was a lost soul within each of the mutant monsters, screaming for help. He could not have killed them. Surely there were other Jedi who felt the same, Jedi who might be able to help him understand how to balance respecting all life and forcefully protecting it.

In the moment of their meeting, Nik had sensed that, if anyone could help him learn this lesson, it was Master Tiland Kortun .

In the near distance, the young Jedi could sense the master he had come to find; the Living Force had not led him astray. Hefting his backpack, Nik hiked the last half-mile. He could smell the little camp before he saw it: something was brewing there, something crisp and earthy. Pushing through the last few feet of tall, swaying grass, Nik stepped into the camp. Immediately he bowed before the old man who stood there, wanting to show his tremendous respect - even for a man he had hardly met. "Master Tiland," he began, a little nervous.

"I've been looking for you." Across a wide swath of the galaxy, no less. "May I join you?"

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Nikolai Cridu
===============

Tiland tilted his head back and let the golden rays of sunset wash across his face. On the small camp table, steam wafted into the air, eddying in the evening breezes. He breathed deeply, letting the warm scent of brewing tea wash over him. In the footsteps, he could just make out a presence approaching his direction. Force sensitive, but young, and almost hesitant. The old monk opened his eyes and added more water and herbs to the tea. A quick inspection showed it was brewing properly and he nodded.

Now to wait. It did not take long. His senses picked up the movement of the grass, contrary to the breeze, as the young Jedi made his way to him. But still, he was a bit surprised with the immediate bow. It was, after all, the tradition for most Jedi, but he'd been outside of formal Jedi Orders for so long as to not have picked up on many of the more formal aspects of the various Orders.

"Welcome, welcome," Tiland said, standing and gesturing to the camp chair, "Please, come, sit. If you have been looking for me, I suspect it has been a long journey for you." He gave a broad smile. "Perhaps longer and more arduous than you expected? I commend you for enduring it." Since Jutrand, he'd been to at least a dozen star systems, zigzagging his way through the Outer and Inner Rims, until eventually ending up here.

"Nikolai, isn't it? Nikolai Cridu?" He searched through his memory of the events on Jutrand. "Not quite the current understanding of a Jedi, are you?" He lowered himself to a seat on the grass and let out a deep, contented breath.

"So. You've found me. What can I do for you?"

 

[Nikolai Cridu]

Tiland Kortun
==============

Master Tiland's address was warm and friendly, and Nik felt some of the tension leaving his shoulders. He wasn't sure why he'd been so nervous; by all reports, this was a kind and openhearted man, patient and slow to anger. Perhaps he'd just been worried that he would be wasting the legendary master's time, that someone as learned in the ways of the Force as Tiland Kortun would have better things to do than talk to a total novice. But he clearly need not have feared that. With a nod of thanks, Nik accepted the offered chair.

"Yes, master, it's been a long way." Nik still didn't have a ship of his own, or more than a handful of credits to his name, so he'd left Jutrand the same way he'd arrived there: by earning passage on freighters headed in the general direction of where he wanted to end up, one after another. He'd done a little of everything by now - loading cargo, fixing wiring, patching up injuries, cooking meals for the crew. He didn't mind the work or the relatively slow and indirect method of travel. It was good to meet many new people. He always learned something.

Nik smiled and nodded when Master Tiland remembered his name, pleasantly surprised; he hadn't expected to be recognized. It wasn't as if he'd been anyone important among the many Jedi at the temple on Jutrand. But maybe that was part of what being a Jedi meant: seeing beyond the immediate and obvious, giving everyone recognition. Not quite the current understanding of a Jedi, are you? Nik nodded again, turning that phrase over and over in his mind. He wasn't really sure what he was yet. His training had been... odd, and had only just begun.

What can I do for you? Suddenly, Nik wasn't sure. It didn't make sense to just blurt out "teach me". Teach me what? There were a trillion things to learn in the galaxy, far more than anyone ever could. Nik needed to narrow it down, find the essence of why the Force had helped guide him here. "It seems to me," he began cautiously, "that you aren't quite the current understanding of a Jedi either, Master Tiland." He really hoped that didn't seem rude; it wasn't meant to be. "I just mean that... so many of them are off fighting right now, out to the east."

Nik took a deep breath, drawing in the tranquility around him, trying to find his own balance. "I want to be a Jedi. I want to channel the Living Force and use it to help people. But I don't think I can be one of those crusading warriors fighting the Sith out there. I don't want to kill anyone, not even the Sith. I don't think I could." He looked down at his hands. Was that cowardly of him? Shameful? Was holding to his own morality in the face of evil a selfish act, one that he should cast aside in order to protect innocents from that evil?

"But if I don't fight them," he finally continued, "I'm afraid that I'm not meeting the responsibilities of a Jedi. I don't want to fight, but I don't want to abandon people I could have protected, either." He shrugged helplessly, the gesture of a man who had been turning this dilemma over and over in his mind for days. "I'm trying to understand my role in all of this, trying to find out the right thing to do in a galaxy that's so full of war and evil and suffering." He stopped, embarrassed. That was a lot to drop on the master at once.

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Nikolai Cridu
==================

Tiland sat quietly and tended to the brewing tea as the young Jedi worked out what to say, and then to finally say what it was he sought. There was conflict within him, Tiland could feel it, but it was not a dangerous conflict between Light and Dark. As Nikolai spoke, Tiland nodded slowly, pausing for a moment to stroke his beard and pour a second cup of tea, handing it silently to Nikolai after he finished.

The monk took a deep breath and settled himself more comfortably in his seat on the grass, gnarled fingers interlaced around his own thing of tea. Fragrant steam rose into the quiet evening air. As silence fell, he let it wrap around them as he considered his response.

"You are correct. I am not what many think of when they consider the idea of a Jedi." His voice was slow, thoughtful, as he examined the mingling of tea-leaves and herbs as they floated within the pot of water, before switching to his own tea, and studying the movement of the quintessence of the tea circling in the water.

"But that is because I am not. I follow a philosophy of my own within the Jedi Code, having formed my own sect to help others in the journey. We choose, willingly, the anonymity of a quiet life. Monastic, or so we've been called. I belong to no other Jedi Order save that of the universal Jedi Order composed of all Jedi through our history, alive now, and those who will come after."

He took a long slow, sip. "And your question is one of the fundamental questions all Jedi must wrestle with for their entire lives. To be a Jedi is to embrace paradox and live in ambiguity. We are peacekeepers, yet are asked to act as soldiers. How can we keep peace while fighting war? We seek to preserve all life, yet train to kill with one of the most powerful weapons ever invented."

Tiland shrugged. "There are as many answers and paths through these questions as these Jedi. I cannot tell you how you must find your way through the thicket. That is your journey to make. But I can speak of myself and perhaps something will be useful for you."

Another drink of tea as he studied the youth sitting across from him. "I am Anzati. Trained as a youth to embrace the Dark Side and the way of my people's assassin's guild. To hunt and prey upon the life forces and essences of sentient beings, the stronger in the Force the better. The Dark Side is encoded deep into my genetic code and the culture in which I was born. It was expected of me and pushed as the greatest thing to find."

"Yet here I am, the Jedi monk who makes tea and refuses to carry a lightsaber." He laughed softly. "My uncle detests me for those reasons especially. The great challenge I had to face was how can I find harmony between myself and the Force? How can I foster harmony in the areas in which I find myself? What is harmony when there is war? What is harmony in the face of the Bryn'adul and their genocides?" He shrugged. "Does it serve the Living Force to let them wipe out every living thing on the planets they conquer?" Another slow shrug. "Does a gardener let weeds choke out saplings?" He gave a wry smile.

"Defending others and healing can be done without ever taking life. It isn't easy, but it can be done. It changes the focus of skills and how we use the Force. It takes a willingness to take full attention of an attacker and away from others, no matter how many there are. And there is no shame in being unwilling to take a life. It is a decision of grave consequence and can never be taken lightly."

 

[Nikolai Cridu]

Tiland Kortun
==============

Nik accepted the tea with a nod of thanks, breathing in the steam that rose from his cup. The rich but simple smell filled his nostrils, and he sighed contentedly. The silence that settled between him and the white-haired master could have been awkward, but it didn't feel that way; he could sense that the other man had listened, taking in everything he said, and was taking the time to process and fully respond. Rather than making anxious about what might come next, sitting in anticipation of possible judgement, it made him feel... heard. Valued.

As Nik had suspected, Master Tiland was a very different kind of Jedi. To most of the galaxy, there was no more pervasive symbol of the order than the lightsaber, and if Nik was being honest, he felt drawn to the idea of one. And yet he could not imagine actually driving the weapon through someone, not even one of the Sith. The ancient master Odan-Urr had said something to the effect that, if you draw your lightsaber, you must be prepared to take a life. Perhaps peaceful men like Master Tiland took that lesson very literally by not carrying one.

But anonymity and monasticism weren't what Nik wanted, either. Just because he didn't want to fight and kill didn't mean that he didn't want to be a protector of the innocent. That was why he was here, to see if he could reconcile both sides of being a Jedi. It seemed that Master Tiland did have two sides, though not quite the ones Nik had suspected. The word Anzati sent a shiver down the young Jedi's spine, the boogeyman of every Outer Rim settler's childhood brought to life. And yet here was this man of peace, though raised in a culture of war.

"How did you break away from the path your family and culture set?" he asked, hoping he wasn't prying too deeply, into places that might still be raw. Nik had never suffered any such traumatic experiences; his family was loving, proud of the simple life he'd built for himself. He wondered what they would think of his throwing that life away to seek the Jedi path. "Did you always know that it wasn't right for you, or did something happen that guided you, helped you break away?" Nik needed guidance to find his path through life, too.

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Nikolai Cridu

Tiland peered into the depths of his tea, following the swirl and motion of the tea's essence as it continued to move within the water. It was the question, well, one of them, that had drawn him to the beverage for over nine hundred years. Did the water change in substance as the tea steeped? Did the water change? Was it one thing or two that they drank with each sip? Where did one end and the other begin? Could either be permanently changed? Or did their essential natures remain the same?

There was a metaphor there that he wasn't even going to pretend he had never considered. He raised his head as Nikolai spoke and smiled, wistfully, and his eyes grew distant.

His mind though, was busy, sifting through layers upon layer of memory, most left untouched for decades, if not more. It took more than a standard minute to get back to the memories that the student was missing about.

"You ask questions whose answers are over nine-hundred years old," Tiland mused. One hand idly stroked his beard as he sifted through it. "The answer is simple enough. I killed someone."

He shrugged. "It was a world on which Jedi were active and present, hunting rumors of Anzati assassins. My uncle, the grandmaster at the time, and his cadre. It was supposed to be my first hunt. Yet I had always been fascinated by plants and growing things and so my connection and presence in the Light was strengthened, rather than the Dark. And it was ironic, really. I was in an alley, supposed to be hunting for my first prey when I was ambushed."

His deep, rich voice went faded silently for several long moments. His eyes sharpened back up again as he returned to the present. "It was over faster than it took me to remember it. I'd already been training for three decades, in Anzati martial arts. Very lethal. Very precise. Like teras kasi, designed to fight Force-users. He was probably just some poor unfortunate desperate for credits. Who knows? I felt the threat and reacted without thinking."

Another sip of tea warmed him as he continued to speak. "I felt his presence vanish into the Force. It horrified and sickened me, so I fled into the wilderness, to find solace among growing things. It was there the Jedi found me, as I was sloppy and much less adept at hiding my trail."

He laughed again, fondly. "Instead of a hardened killer feasting on his prey, they found a youth sobbing and incoherent. Not my finest moment. But it saved my life. They defeated my uncle's cadre and he fled into hiding, his power and influence broken for a time. But for me? They took me away to a forgotten world with educational materials and supplies to survive. In that time, I began my journey away from Anzati culture, learning about the rest of the galaxy from their perspective, and the truth of the Jedi and the Force."

His tea-mug was empty by now. He silently poured another and offered the rest to Nikolai. "If you want to protect without killing, as I and the Circle of the Light Hand do, you must hone and refine your techniques and skills far higher than normal, and change your muscle memory training in non-lethal methods." His hands clasped around the cup, considering. "It is a path you have to forge yourself, how you adapt techniques, how you train yourself in the discipline and control necessary to fight at the same level in a non-lethal way, and that's not even wrestling with the moral and ethical dilemmas. For that, I can only recommend consulting a librarian, Jedi or not, in the rich history of moral philosophy and ethics. Jedi have wrestled with the question from our most ancient roots. Yet other cultures and societies have rich traditions and highly developed moral codes. Much can be learned from them as well as Jedi sources."