What's New
Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved Starship Stardust Dragon

Status
Not open for further replies.

Thorald Magnusson

Character
Thorald Magnusson
Character Bio
tumblr_mbb8drZrhE1qbzn92o2_1280.jpg
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
PRODUCTION INFORMATION
  • Manufacturer: Corellian Engineering Corporation (With Permission from [member="Bartic Myth'rand"])
  • Model: N/A
  • Affiliation: [member="Jack"] Yusei (The Dominion)
  • Production: Unique
  • Material: Durasteel hull
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
  • Classification: Unique Destroyer
  • Length: 2000m
  • Width: 570m
  • Height: 290m
  • Crew: 40,000
    Minimum Crew: 15,000

[*]Passengers: 26,545
[*]Consumables: Enough for 4 years
[*]Armament: Extreme

[*]Defenses: Very High

[*]Hangar: None
[*]Maneuverability Rating: Moderate
[*]Speed Rating: Low
[*]Hyperdrive Class: 0.4
SPECIAL FEATURES



[*]Ghostwave Transmitter
[*]Encryption Module

[*]Enviromental Systems:

[*]Propulsion Systems:


[*]Sensor and Targeting Systems:

[*]Miscellaneous Systems:


[*]Privacy-7 Audio Curtain
[*]IPI-1000 Security System

[*]Brig

[*]Security Weapon Systems:

[*]Anti-Ion Emission Tracers
[*]Molecular Furnace
[*]QQ-1453-DR1 SFRC
[*]1x Lifeboat
[*]2x SG-ED-02 'Daedalus' Reactors
[*]Reinforced Captain's Quarters
Strengths:

  • Hit Me With Your Best Shot: The defenses of the ship provide it with a great defense against other ships attempting to assault it.
  • Droid Bait: Through the use of Anti-Boarding Droids its hard for troops to board the ship and attempt to wreck havoc from the inside. Like the Anti-Boarding Droids the Constable Droids can be used to defend the ship and can be used to keep a lock down of the ship in emergencies.
  • Big Gun: With the addition of the Proton Beam Cannon it allows the ship to do devastating blasts to any ships that the weapon is pointed at. Along with this the many emplacements on the ship allow for it to be devastating in combat, making it a foolish idea to fight it.
  • Interior Defense: Through the use of many different internal security defenses the likelihood of someone taking this ship from boarding is a unlikely occurrence, and a bad idea.
  • HIMS Said What?: A gravitic anomaly sensor in the system provided a ship's hyperdrive the ability to quickly shut off, preventing damage from sudden realspace reversion upon encountering a gravity well. At the same time, the HIMS could produce a static hyperspace "bubble", sustaining the ship's presence in hyperspace while accumulated forward momentum propelled the vehicle along.
  • CGT?: The Crystal Gravfield Trap, or CGTs are sensors that can reliably detect a ship with an active cloaking device, making it an obvious choice to put onto this ship.
Weaknesses:
  • More Ships?: There is no hanger in this ship due to the eminence devotion to armaments and the defense of the ship it sacrificed the use of defensive fighters.
  • Look Behind You: Most of the weaponry is focused towards the sides and the front of the ship leaving the ship open to attack from the rear.
  • Behemoth: The ship is very large causing it to be very slow and not be able to turn very fast.
  • Hyperdrive Down?: In the creation of the ship they did not put in a back-up hyperdrive due to the fact that they needed so many weapons and defenses.
  • Big Gun? Big Cool Down: Although the use of the Proton Beam Cannon is very useful the cool down of the Cannon can last up to thirty minutes, and in a fight that could be deadly.
Description:

This ship was made with the intent of making it a behemoth of a ship and cause fear into anyone it faced. The name of the ship came from a pendant he was given as a child that was said to be made out of the dust of stars. He asked the CEO of the Corellian Engineering Corporation for his support in building the ship, when granted he started speaking with lead designers for the layout of the ship.

The focus was defense and offense, so with the use of Turbolasers, Heavy launchers, Long Range Ion Cannons, and the unique placement of the Proton Beam cannon in the front of the ship. With the cannon it could cause devestating blows to ships in front of it. The use of tractor beams helps when things get too close to the ship for comfort.

Defending the ship was also top priority for Jack so he put a lot of emphasis on securing it and making it be able to take a lot of attacks from enemy fire. When making the defenses he also thought of the possibilities of boarders so he had droids commissioned to help defend the ship in case of an emergency.
 

Republic Engineering

Artificial Intelligence
Republic Engineering
Character Bio
[member="Arthur Erikson"] - Before I am comfortable giving this the Okay, I had a few things that I wanted to touch base with you on and see about clearing them up. The first would be your Canon Link’s field. As you have a myriad of linked items from Wookieepedia in your submission, I would make the request that you alter the N/A to Linked Below. Just so Judges or fellow writers other than myself know what and where to look for anything should this be used in “Open RP.”

While your armament is listed as Extreme, I don’t believe that the term befits what you’ve posted. Now, I’ve gone ahead and run the numbers for you (Which will be listed in the spoiler below, along with links to the resources I’ve used as a reference) and you’ve barely met the recorded example of what we’ve outlined would be considered as an Elite/Unique Destroyer. As it stands, I would feel the Armament Rating of this ship to be on the verge between High or Very High.

If you’d like to have the Destroyer remain at an Extreme armament rating, please feel free to use our Weapons Exchange Chart to add 1,350 pts worth of 'guns' to your vessel.

Cutaway of the WEC

Template Standard for Unique Destroyer:
  • 1,300 Turbolasers (2600 pts) [Capital Emplacements are valued at 2 pts]
  • 40 Heavy Launchers (160 pts) [Heavy Launchers are considered to be a Large Emplacement, thus worth 4 pts.]
  • 100 Quad Lasers (100pts) [Defensive Emplacements are valued at 1 pt]
Total: 2,860 pts

Stardust Dragon / Unique Destroyer
  • 100 Turbolasers (200 pts)
  • 60 Heavy Launchers (240 pts)
  • 50 Quad Lasers (50 pts)
  • 100 Heavy Long-Range Ion Cannons (800 pts)
  • 10 Heavy Tractor Beam(s) (200 pts) [Extreme Emplacements are valued at 20 pts]
  • 1 Proton Beam Cannon (20 pts) [Extreme Emplacements are valued at 20 pts]
Total: 1,510 pts

Secondly, while we’re on the topic of armament, would you be able to tell me what type of Heavy Launchers the ‘Stardust Dragon’ has? (Does it have primarily capital ship grade Proton Torpedo launchers, Concussion Missile Launchers, etc?). If you’re unsure what you’d like to apply to this warship, I can provide an example of what would work well with your design choice and overall theme if you’d like.

Also, would you be able to change the listed name of Fore Beam Cannon to Proton Beam Cannon, for easy and future reference?

With your defenses, I’ve noticed that you’re using two SWRP: Chaos Factory approved submissions. Could you please link those in the Primary Source section of the OOC Information?

Also, with what you’ve listed for defenses, I don’t feel that Very High fit what’s there. Personally, I’d consider that to be a Low rating, as the Droids themselves wouldn’t affect another ship or any projectiles being shot at your vessel. If you felt like having that rating remain, please feel free to utilize the 1,350 pts that were mentioned earlier to flesh out your defensive emplacements. For example, you could toss on a few dozen point defense cannons, antimissile octets, or add more Quad laser cannons. I can help you there as well if you’d like, should you wish the rating to remain the same. (Also, the items you have listed in the Security Weapons Systems near the bottom of this submission should be added here as well.)

There’s an issue regarding your Hyperdrive as you’ve listed the Class/Rating to be One but have later in your special features mentioned that the Class/Rating of your Hyperdrive is a 0.4. Please choose one or the other.

The G-003 Tri-Tracker is a weapon, rather than the sensor itself, as within the article it mentions that the Tr-Tracker has the power output of a standard Star Destroyer’s turbolaser. If you want to use this linked article for the two articles attached to it, please add this to your Armament Rating / Listing and include both links to the C3 and the TAT where the G-003 Tri-Tracker is located.

Under the Misc. Systems and Security Weapon Systems, I’ve noticed that you’ve got another two items that were processed through the SWRP: Chaos Factory. Would you kindly link the Aegis SH13LD, the TunnelNet VPN, the QQ-1453-DR1 Solid Fuel/Ration Converter (SFRC), the SG-ED-02 ‘Daedalus’ in the Primary Sources section of the OOC Information?

Oh, and since the SG-ED-02 ‘Daedalus’ is a Closed Market item, do you have permission from the Sub’s creator or the Company it’s produced by for use on this submission? If so, please mention that besides link as indicated above at your earliest convenience.

Finally; We’re onto the Strengths and Weaknesses. “I Couldn’t Hear You” - While if this were an oceanic ship, this would’ve been a good strength to have - but since we’re making a massive 2 km long destroyer here, it’s sadly irrelevant. You can couple this factor in with the “Big Gun” strength, and make mention of how foolish it would be to get into a brawl with this Capital ship.

“Hit Me With Your Best Shot” - Doesn’t match with what you’ve listed in the defenses section of this submission. Perhaps adding more to it would flesh that part out and make this a valid strength.

“Droid Bait” and ”Police Forces” can be combined into a single strength, as separately they’re slightly redundant - mostly since they do the same thing.

Feel free to add in another strength or two if you’d like, as you're kind of heavy on the weaknesses should you follow the advice listed above.

Since we’re speaking of adding in some strengths, would you be able to do me a favor and ensure that any and all links that have been listed under the ‘Special Features’ section have their abilities reflected in both the strengths and weaknesses - and added into the description if applicable? For example, I’m looking at the CGT and HIMS primarily, alongside several items of note in the Security Weapon Systems and the Misc. Systems.
 

Republic Engineering

Artificial Intelligence
Republic Engineering
Character Bio
[member="Arthur Erikson"] - Many thanks for the edits, however, there are still several outstanding items that are listed in your special features section that would require them to be listed in the Strength's and Weakness portion(sd) of your submission. Please make sure that they are listed in their respective areas, before we can proceed. (As mentioned in my previous reply above, I am speaking of the CGT Sensors and the HIMS hyperdive system, primarily.)
 
Major Faction

Jamie Pyne

Delicate
Jamie Pyne
Character Bio
[member="Arthur Erikson"]

Just as a reminder that even though this ship is "affiliated" with a character, should The Dominion cease to exist as a major faction, the character cannot own this ship themselves. It must have the affiliation changed to another major faction in order to continue being used should that be the case.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 8 (members: 0, guests: 8)
Top Bottom