Private Squatters' Rights

[Starlin Rand]

Stuck in an intersection, Starlin watched in eerie fascination as Arc’s face changed color, his expression going through a range of emotions. He got a sinking feeling in his own gut, seeing it all play out upon the mask of the acolyte’s face, even before the words left the poor bastard’s mouth.

"She wouldn't want to see me."

“I SINCERELY—” Starlin paused, startled by how loud and forceful his voice was compared to Arc’s whisper. “Uh… beg to differ. Trust me…”

He’d seen Ishani with her teeth knocked out and acid burns all over her body after battling a Sithspawn on Jakku. He’d seen Ishani weeping in a nightclub on Bespin at the mention of her children. He’d seen her sitting on a beach beside those two little children in pink and yellow swimsuits. What did all these incidents have in common?

Well, he kept running into the broad in the weirdest places, for one. And in every single instance, it was the same story. She was a tapestry with a thread left loose, denied closure, incomplete.

“Trust me,” he repeated. “At the very least… you should talk to her. Get in touch somehow, let her know what happened. For the sake of… for her sake.”

Ishani had asked him not to mention the kids, so he wouldn’t. Even though this situation made him dearly wish he could. He knew what it was like to grow up without a father. It sucked. But he hunched his shoulders up and bit his tongue, pretending he was watching the air traffic.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

He sat there through it all surprisingly unflinching, even given the loud volume at which Starlin began the whole explanation. Still shrunken, still filled with uncertainty, but listening. Contemplating. Figuring it all out.​

​

Starlin reckoned he ought to see her. That closure was needed.​

​

And his choice in words was poignant. For her sake, he'd said.​

​

For her sake.​

​

Obviously Starlin knew something Arcturus didn't. Obviously Ishani hadn't moved on despite the four years he'd been absent. Obviously, obviously, obviously.​

​

He let out a small, shuddery breath. He shifted himself into an upright position. He nodded his head once.​

​

"Take me to her," he said, as though time and responsibilities were of little importance. "... Please"​

​

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

“Thank you for your time,” Ishani said, smiling as she shook the hand of a dignitary. She escorted him and his retinue out of her office, then slowly eased the door shut. Resting the palm of her hand against the wooden panel, her smile slipped away as she sighed in relief, then returned to her desk.

It had been a long day, though the chrono declared it was barely after noon. She’d already had several meetings, each one more exhausting than the last, and there were still two more on her schedule. Easing into her chair, she looked out the panoramic windows at the Coruscanti skyline. The sky was gray and overcast, though it had yet to rain.

Her comm beeped. She glanced at it, wishing she could just ignore it. After a few more rings, she answered, “Yes?”

“Starlin Rand and Arcturus Thesh are here to see Senator Sibwarra,” a droid’s voice chirped.

Ishani blinked, at first thinking she had misheard the second name. Then her brow furrowed. “Is this a joke? Because if it is, tell Starlin it's not funny.” And I'm going to kick his ass for it.

“No ma’am. Requesting permission to send the two gentlemen up.”

Ishani’s lips parted, but no sound came out. It was several moments before she managed to whisper, “Send them up.”

Once again she was on her feet, pacing the room and wringing her hands. Her thoughts began to race, her pulse pounding. Arcturus. He’s found Arcturus. How? After all this time. Where was he? He’s coming up here now. Ohohohoho no, what?

In her mind she pictured Arc alone, standing in the lift, stepping out when the doors slid open. She saw him walk down the hall to her door and raise his hand…

On a sudden impulse, she ran across the room to open the door for him, then stopped herself short. If I come at him like a whirlwind, he’ll be overwhelmed. Part of her wanted to, though. Wanted to crash into him like a wave on the shore.

In the eternity that seemed to pass between the call and his arrival, she rehearsed what she would say when he arrived, drafting her greeting in her head again and again as if the mere act of saying hello was as complicated as crafting a thesis. Hello, Arcturus. Hi Arc. Hey babe, it’s ya girl, Ishani. It’s me. Ish. How are you? Where have you been, mister? Do you have any idea what you've put me through?...

All her thoughts fled when she heard the muffled sound of the lift doors opening. Her skin prickled like she’d been electrified, from her scalp to her toes, and the alchemized tattoo on her back tingled with a weird energy. She felt like she was going to hurl, or maybe pass out. Wiping her sweating palms against the fabric of her dress, she stood by the door with her eyes squeezed shut and waited.

Outside, Starlin paused and turned to Arc. “You want me to go in there with you? I don’t wanna be a third wheel, unless you two plan on fighting or something and need a referee.”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

He wasn't sure how much time had passed since his request and their subsequent arrival, a common theme for the boy out of time it would seem. The whole thing was something of a blur, an out of body experience to be sure. One minute he was on his way to the spaceport, the next he was exiting the speeder, and then they were in an elevator. If Starlin had tried any small talk during this time, Arcturus wasn't aware. The Jedi had handled everything at the front desk, and in comparison Arcturus was merely some sort of lemming.​

​

Next thing he knew they were stood before a door. It held a plaque, and that plaque held a name. Even seeing it didn't make any of it feel more real. He stared at it for a time, as long as Starlin also lingered. It might have been half a second, might have been an hour; then Starlin spoke.​

​

"I can take it from here" he said, slowly flooding back to the present. His hands and feet were tingling, his head swimming, but he knew better than to try and bring someone else into his personal problems, especially when they had the chance of becoming volatile. He'd been gone a long time, after all. He was expecting tempers. He was expecting rage from the woman on the other side.​

​

When Starlin turned to leave, Arc turned to him and halted him with a hand upon his shoulder. He looked at the Jedi plainly for a moment.​

​

"Thank you... For everything." There was more he wanted to say, to expand upon, but the door was calling to him now. That sickly symphony was starting up in his mind once more, and it was hard for him to ignore. Like a steady hum to the sound of a beating drum, it soon took over his senses. He embraced Starlin, momentarily shutting out the noises in his mind, then turned to the door.​

​

Everything else melded away.​

​

It was just boy and door. When he raised his hand to knock a third component entered the arena. Whatever lay on the other side of it...​

​

Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Starlin was surprised when Arc embraced him, but he returned the hug, patting the kid on the back. The kid, heh. Arc still seemed so young compared to him. Maybe that was why Starlin had handled everything at the front desk rather than dropped him off and let him deal with the paperwork on his own.

“Alright. Call me if you need me.” Grinning, Starlin put on a pair of sunglasses (completely unnecessary on an overcast day—he just thought they looked cool) and shot finger guns at Arc. “See ya, chump.”

Then he was gone, leaving Arc alone.

Ishani opened the door before he had a chance to knock and froze the moment she saw him.

She was wearing a traditional Chaldean gown, which meant that the only parts of her body left exposed were her head and hands. Everything else was draped in fine woven cloth that trailed almost down to the floor, blue as water. Her mane of blonde hair was longer, and her face was perhaps a little thinner, but otherwise very little about her seemed to have changed. She gazed up at him without speaking, her eyes roaming his face as though looking for signs that he was an impostor. But she found none.

It's really him.

“Hello,” she finally said something, her voice little more than a whisper. “Um.” Her gaze lowered, her face reddening with embarrassment at how long she’d just been staring. “You can come in.” Her head still down, she took a step back, giving him more space to enter her office.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

His fist never made contact with the door.​

​

Starlin's words never made contact with his ears.​

​

As the door opened inward and revealed the woman beyond, Arcturus' throat suddenly became very dry. Not that it wasn't already, the boy looked something of a haggard mess, but it was much more noticeable to him then. She seemed as incapable of speaking as he, and the pair just stared a look. Her in her fine and modest attire, and he in the same set he'd been wearing the day he disappeared. In many ways he didn't look a day older than then, but there was a decidedly more gaunt look about him. Clearly he hadn't been taking care of himself all that well.​

​

What could be expected of one trapped in the nether, then thrust out into the unflinching capitalistic hell that was Denon?​

​

She was the first to break the ice, barely, meekly, she whispered her hello. A blush accompanied her words, and a quick downturning of her gaze. Arcturus just continued to stare at her, hardly able to believe that she was there at all.​

​

He said nothing.​

​

She stepped back to grant him entrance, and for a moment it seemed as though he wouldn't be moving either. One long moment. And then he crossed the threshold, allowing the door to close behind him.​

​

He tore his gaze away from her only long enough to give the room one swift glance, then she stole his attention once more. His eyes were intense, looking for any falsities in the woman before him. He knew it was her, but some part of him couldn't believe it so regardless. He knew it was her... So why did it feel so much like a waking dream?​

​

Staring. He'd been staring for far too long. He swallowed, though it did little to soothe his throat, and then managed a small, arguably spooked, smile.​

​

"Hey, Ish..."​

​

Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

He looked… tired. Gaunt. Hard-living. She recognized his clothes, no matter how ragged they'd become, and it immediately thrashed her imagination. Something must have happened to him. Something not as simple as having to hide from Maliphant’s wrath for a time. He reeked of the supernatural, of… of the Nether. She could feel it on him, as sharp as the scent of the forge had been on him.

As he stepped inside, her eyes found him again and held on. If she were to look away, he'd vanish like a waking dream. And if she didn't touch him, he'd turn out to be a ghost.

"Can I—" She began, only for his words to overlap with hers, unintentionally cutting her off.

"Hey, Ish..."

"Can I touch you?" she blurted, one hand already reaching out. Her palm hovered just before his chest, trembling slightly.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Ishani seemed just as sure that he was a ghost as he was of she.​

​

Concern raked across her expression, even if only for a brief moment. He tipped his chin up some, trying to appear stronger and more polished than he felt. Than he was. Certainly strong enough for the both of them in that moment.​

​

Words overlapped, so much so that neither really gained supremacy in the space between them. One of her hands had breached that gap, hovering mere inches before him. A question accompanied it; he felt his heart break at the awkwardness of it all. The uncertainty. Like treading on eggshells.​

​

His response didn't come in the form of words. Instead he too reached out, taking that extended hand and closing the distance with it for her. Needing that tangible proof for himself. She felt real enough, his heart leapt as their skin made contact. He'd been gentle, barely touching her at all. Just an affirmation.​

​

Silence.​

​

He couldn't quite form the words in his mind, much less exude them into existence. But he felt the urgency to do so all the same, felt it deep within his core. Before reality returned. Before duties clamoured back to the Senator. Before this, whatever it was, came to a close.​

​

"You, uh..." Come on brain, if ever there was a time to work it was now. "You look well, Ishani..."​

​

And she did. Truly she glowed.​

​

Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

He touched her hand, and her knees went weak. Somehow she managed to stay on her feet.

“You look like crap.” Her words were accompanied by a small smile. “Like, half-dead. Have you been hanging out in the Netherworld or something?”

It was half joke, half legitimate question. She wanted to know if her guess was right, or to at least prompt an explanation. After all, the first and only time she’d been to the Nether had been with him. Man, that felt like such a long time ago… well, it had been four years for her.

She couldn’t take it anymore. Her other hand reached out and slid around his waist, pulling him into her arms. She enveloped him, trailing cloth submerging him like a warm sea.

“I missed you,” she mumbled into his chest. “I waited for you on Korriban as long as I could, but the Crusaders came and I had no choice but to go…”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Her response momentarily broke his composure, and uncharacteristically Arcturus laughed.​

​

Like crap, did he? Rude! But not uncalled for. Probably true. He hadn't checked out his reflection in quite some time. He'd be lying if he tried to claim he wasn't afraid to see it.​

​

That laugh was cut short by her question though. He could tell she was only semi-serious with it, it was almost rhetorical. But she wanted something from him all the same, some explanation. Even if it wasn't the Nether.​

​

Spoilers. It was.​

​

"Hanging out doesn't rightly sum it up," he muttered, voice low with something akin to shame. Where his gaze had been set upon her, he tore it away as though unable to look her in the face. He was about to expand upon it when the unexpected happened, Ishani pulled him into her embrace.​

​

Unexpected because of his unexplained disappearance. Unexpected because of the years which had passed, and the distance which had grown between them. Unexpected because, well, look at him.​

​

He wrapped his arms around her all the same. Strained to hear her mumbled words which were partially lost to his shirt. It was clean, by the way, just old. Tattered. It was a miracle he'd been allowed in the turbolift.​

​

"That was silly of you" he replied, though he hastily realized he should add some context to such a dismissive statement. "Dangerous, Ishani... I'm not worth your life."​

​

Arcturus had softened in her embrace. His chin came down to settle atop her head, and he breathed in her presence as wholly as he could. She still smelled sweet, but it was different than it had been. She'd left her childhood behind.​

​

"I'm sorry I wasn't there in the end," he whispered, "I'm sorry you faced it alone."​

​

He still hadn't fully explained himself, but the embrace had cut that thought short and now it seemed too distant to bring back up. He knew he couldn't evade it for long, though.​

​

Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

"Dangerous, Ishani... I'm not worth your life."

"Eh. That ass is worth it." Joking felt good. Joking helped to mask the pain, make her forget.

His apologies reminded her. "It's okay," she said, her response automatic. She wanted to put up a fight, to argue. I'm fine, you clearly aren't. If anyone should be apologizing for leaving the other behind, perhaps it should be me. But she couldn't have joined him, because she hadn't known where he was. And even if she had known, would she really have followed him into the Nether?

... Okay, yeah, she would've. And not just because that ass was worth it.

"A Jedi helped me escape. It was the same guy we almost killed that one time. The blindfolded one, you remember?" Raising her chin, she reached up to stroke his face. A kiss would be too much at this junction; she'd startled him enough with her hug.

So instead she said, "Why are we still standing by the door? We're both silly. Come on." She guided him over to a couch and sat down. "Are you hungry? Or thirsty?" She had server droids that could provide food or drink. They had a lot to talk about, might as well not do it on an empty stomach.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

No laugh this time, just a slight upturn at the corner of his lips. The subject matter was too solemn to be properly cut through with jests, as much as he wanted to fall back into how things had once been he wondered if such was even possible. His time in the Nether may not have taken four years out of him, but it had felt like a genuine eternity. All that he had seen, all that he had done... Had it changed him? Was he a different man now?​

​

And for her part, Ishani was literally older. She had experienced far more than he had during their time apart, because that was simply how time in Realspace worked. I mean, look at her... Arcturus was certainly looking at her, peering down through their embrace. A Senator. Even her presence in the Force seemed different, the core was still the same but she wasn't bound by the darkness of Bogan any longer. She had found a way out of it.​

​

Talks turned to her escape from Korriban, which in turn reignited memories he'd quite forgotten of their hunt for Melydia Gold and the fallen Sith ship. Aaran Tafo ... Arcturus hadn't wanted the man dead, far from it, but he'd been in quite the bind at the time. Too many sympathetic choices, too much that he'd felt certain Darth Empyrean would have seen it fit to put the mad dog down if he didn't show some levels of conformity.​

​

All of that felt so ridiculous to him now. Superficial and unimportant. Arcturus Thesh had in one way or another overcome those binds which had once held him down. The collapse of the Sith Eternal might have been blamed for it, if indeed he'd been present for that at all. He hadn't. He'd felt it though, despite the distance between Nether and Realspace he knew it to be so. No, Arcturus had simply matured past it.​

​

He wasn't sure where that left him. What remained in the aftermath of his many revelations. If not an Apprentice, then what? If not a Sith, then what? If not Maliphant, then who?​

​

He didn't feel any rush to find out. Every day since had been a fight for survival, even after his return to the Galaxy. Nothing new for the boy, of course, survival had always been foremost on his list of activities. He was simply going with the flow now... Carving his own path, perhaps. Still the dark held him within its sway, impossible really for him to ever truly disconnect from it. It was integral to his musings, integral to his machinations.​

​

All at once he realized he'd been lost in his thoughts for far too long. He nodded to show he'd remembered, and then followed her over to the couch as though on autopilot. There he banished thoughts of the Jedi and the Sith and his Master from his mind. There he exhaled a slow breath and forced himself back to the present. Everything else joined the long list of suppressed thoughts.​

​

"It isn't okay," came his delayed response to her earlier retort. He ignored the offer of food and drink, though his lips were clearly cracked and his stomach grumbled at the mere notion of sustenance. He couldn't sit there and pretend like this was some sort of casual supper, not with so much weighing them both down. "I didn't leave you though, not intentionally," he stated, and since their embrace was over and he didn't much know what to do with himself his hands began to fidget in his lap.​

​

"Something pulled me into the Nether" he explained, without looking her way, "I was somewhere new. At first I didn't know how to navigate a way out. Then I felt it all... The Fall." Arcturus swallowed. His hands ceased in their ruminations, he simply stared down at them. "After that, I uh... I didn't really want to leave. Didn't want to find out what, if anything, remained. I'm a coward, Ishani, I've always been a coward. It was easier to bury my head in the sand than face the possibility that everything was gone..."​

​

He fell silent, whatever other words he'd been intending to speak lost within the furrows of his brow.​

​

Ishani Dinn​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Ishani sat stiffly as words came pouring out of Arcturus, her pleasantries discarded. Her lips were pressed together, her expression pale and drawn as she listened.

She wanted so badly to take him back, to pretend nothing had happened and resume their lives. But it was utterly impossible.

He had changed. So had she. From the looks of it, he was actually taking the time gap harder than she was. Perhaps it was because he hadn’t had a chance to adjust—hadn’t really had anything left to adjust to. She had a home to go back to, a family to rely on for support, a career and a role to play. His world was gone. And she couldn’t profess to mourn its passing.

Looking at him again, she opened her mouth to speak, then bit her lip. And it finally hit her. He wasn’t just confessing cowardice, he was admitting that he didn’t… care enough about her to come back. She wasn’t enough to warrant a return to Realspace. No... no, that couldn't be it. Oh, please don't let that be it...

She sank back against the couch, staring straight ahead. “Okay,” she croaked. “So you wanted to stay in the Nether. What brought you back?”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Ishani had misunderstood him on a fundamental level, as he had predicted she would.​

​

Part of him wished he had been more pressing in his desire to be dropped off at the spaceport. That Starlin Rand had never seen fit to utter the name Ishani Sibwarra in his presence. Though he had learned to manipulate the stands of time in some ways, he could not turn it back. He could not undo the foolish decisions which had led him to this point.​

​

He was doing more harm than good. He could feel her pain.​

​

And he didn't know how to fix it without looking as though he was backpeddling. What a mess.​

​

"Fearing what awaited on the other side does not mean I wanted to stay, Ishani..." he explained, knowing how contradictory it all must have seemed. Truth be told he'd been placed in quite the impossible predicament when thrust into the Narrow Roads. The timing of it had been impeccable, catastrophic even. His head slumped forward into hands supported by elbows on the knee. As haggard as he looked, he somehow seemed wearier in that moment.​

​

How could he possibly convey it all to her?​

​

"I thought..." Come on, out with it boy... "I thought that..." Where once his brain was drawing a blank, now it was racing a mile a minute, so fast that he could barely piece it all back together to properly formulate a sentence.​

​

"I thought I'd come back to find you dead."​

​

He had already accepted the fact that he'd be returning to an end to all he'd known. That the Eternal would be gone, Korriban reclaimed by another, Maliphant in the shadows - he knew that he was not dead, there was something of a bond between Master and Apprentice that left him feeling sure he might have known otherwise - ... No home. He could handle no home. He was an orphan. He'd never really had a home to call his own. ​

​

But the other possibilities? Acolytes were not treated with the same softness as Padawans. And he had befriended his fair share of Acolytes. The thought of returning to find the remnants of Ishani or Melydia, Quintus or Alina... No. He couldn't do it. Not right away, at least. And the more time that settled between, the more he was forced to wander the peculiar landscape of the Nether in search of the only path home he knew - a path which, by the way, ​

he knew would deposit him right back on Korriban - the more he'd convinced himself that such was exactly what had happened.​

​

"I didn't know it had been four years" he stated. "A few months, at most. Enough time to come to terms with it." To mourn.​

​

He swallowed. She'd asked another question, but in his haste to clarify he'd forgotten it entirely.​

​

Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

"Fearing what awaited on the other side does not mean I wanted to stay, Ishani..."

She released a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding.

"I thought I'd come back to find you dead."

“Oh. Oh no, Arc…” She rested a hand against his back, her pain fading as she took on his. “Arc, I…” She didn’t know what to say. “I’m not dead.”

No shit, genius.

“I’m alive, and I’m—I want you to stay.” She rubbed comforting circles around his back, her voice dropping to a whisper in his ear. “Stay with me, please.”

"I didn't know it had been four years. A few months, at most. Enough time to come to terms with it."

“I did,” she admitted. “I didn’t know whether you were alive or dead, but I came to terms with the possibility that you were… Well, I looked for you—less than I should’ve, but I had other things to worry about. Life got in the way. Although, I guess it doesn’t matter. I never would’ve figured out that you were in the Nether.”

She was still rubbing his back, her fingers lazily massaging him. His ribs poked through his shirt, painfully jutting, and she was reminded again of her offer of food that he had ignored. She quietly summoned a droid to at least bring them some tea and snacks. Just because he didn't want to eat didn’t mean she couldn’t.

“So, you were pulled in… and then it spat you back out again? Just like that?” There had to be a cause for it. People didn’t just casually flit between dimensions. Except for Kal of Kaas, but he was… wait a minute. “Did anyone else know you were there? Like, uh… like Kal?”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

She wasn't dead.​

​

No he knew that already, he could tell just by looking at her. Her touch had definitely helped solidify that fact.​

​

He didn't know exactly what to say as she begged him to stay. Willed him to. How would that look, a Senator stowing away a Sith? Arcturus would be like some unprovoked wrecking ball, tearing up all that she'd built for herself in his absence. That wouldn't be fair. That wouldn't be right.​

​

At first he couldn't bring himself to say those words. But then she spoke again herself, and her words stung. He pushed down that hurt, refusing to let it show; it added fuel to the fire all the same though. It added weight to his belief that he'd only drag her down. She had duties and responsibilities now. He'd always been the one holding her back, even when they'd been together. He knew she'd wanted to leave the Sith.​

​

He knew she'd only stayed because of him.​

​

He couldn't draw her back into that depravity.​

​

As difficult as it was, he continued to bite his tongue. Force, give him even a short amount of time at peace here before he had to shatter the illusion for good. Let him savour it, build on the good memories before he was left with only them for comfort.​

​

The boy remained quiet, painfully so, until she queried him more on his experiences.​

​

"No," he said to her initial assumptions that he was simply spat back out unprovoked. "I chose to leave." Another question, this one felt a little more loaded. A slow nod of his head revealed the briefest of answers, before his voice played catch up.​

​

"There was one who knew, if only because I helped release him from his prison." Help was a very large overstatement, given that Seydon of Arda had actually saved him far more than Arcturus had saved him. He'd been close to death when the Dunaan entered the fray. All that Arcturus could claim was knowing the way out. Even that hadn't been quite so simple as it had been in his head.​

​

But Kal.​

​

Kal was the real kicker here, wasn't he? Obviously the Spirit had kept their brief meeting to himself. Why, Arcturus could not say for sure. Maybe he simply hadn't seen Ishani after the fact? That was a foolish thought, he could hop around most anywhere he liked. But he couldn't speak on behalf of Kal of Masque, nor would he try to. He knew only what he had experienced first hand.​

​

"I saw Kal briefly, yes. He was the one who revealed to me a new way out of the Nether. One that wouldn't deposit me back on Korriban..." Force knew that if he'd been spat out on Korriban he might have gone as crazy as the Dreaming Dark intended him to. "There wasn't really time for much else." A brief reunion to be sure.​

​

Arcturus lifted his head, trying to gage her reaction to this revelation.​

​

"I found myself on Denon, instead. And from there, well, here I suppose... I came here." To the home of Starlin Rand. It wasn't a conscious decision to come to Ishani's home, because well quite frankly he didn't know that she'd be there. The Rands had been his last hope... the final contact he knew he had in this Galaxy.​

​

And even that hadn't played out the way he'd intended.​

​

Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

“Oh, if I find out he knew, I’m gonna kill ‘em,” she muttered. “Wait, can Kal die?... I’ll make him wish he could.” She paused and sighed. “Right after I thank him profusely for sending you back.”

The server droid came rolling in with a tray. Hot tea and sandwiches. She watched it do its thing, thinking to herself in the interim.

Arcturus hadn’t really reacted to her asking him to stay. What did his silence mean? Would he be pulled back in again? Did he intend to leave? She wanted to press the issue, but didn’t know how to go about it without sounding pushy. Not to mention that she was afraid of the answer.

Part of her wanted to give up talking entirely and just hold him.

She let it slide for now in favor of continuing with his story. “Did you come to Coruscant to find Starlin?” she asked, starting to put two and two together. After all, Starlin was the one who had dropped him off. Starlin also knew that Ishani would want to see him.

At least the pieces of the Arcturus Thesh puzzle were starting to come together. She picked up a sandwich and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Had Kal known, ahead of their encounter toward the end?​

​

Would Kal have left him to delve into the Dreaming Dark alone if he had? No... No, something about their previous exchanges led him to believe that he and the spirit had at least something of a friendship. A mutual appreciation at the very least. Kal had been the only person in the Sith to know where he was when he'd taken his intentional sequester, following the evacuation of all those younglings. They'd even gone on a little adventure together to unearth a fount of creation. Well... More a fount of destruction, wasn't it?​

​

It didn't matter. He didn't want it to matter. He shook it from his brain. If Kal had known he was in there before then he had his reasons for not making himself known.​

​

Instead he reached out and squeezed one of Ishani's hands as she declared her desire to cause him untold pain. Neither validating nor dismissing her emotions, but acknowledging them all the same. All while hoping she didn't actually manage any of that.​

​

She had wanted more from him, he knew, when it came to the discussion of staying. Though she didn't press, and he was grateful for that, he could feel it simmering within her. A need to know... Not yet, he begged, give him a little while longer.​

​

Food arrived though he didn't recall asking for any; Ishani took the first bite, reminding him that he wasn't the only one with such needs in the room. As perfect and divinely as Ishani seemed, she still had to eat.​

​

"Sort of," he replied to her question of Starlin, before he shook his head solemnly. "Not really, no. His mother, actually..." Now that he knew he'd have to explain before he got any weird and confused glances from the girl. "I uh... I stayed with her after Ossus. Starlin took me there when I decided not to bring him back to Korriban with me. It's where I spent most of my time away, in truth." He swallowed, surprised to find his throat less dry, and looked away from her to whatever window or windows were present in the room.​

​

"And uh, it was nice. It really was. They gave me something I can't ever remember really having." He couldn't bring himself to say the word family, his eyes stung at the mere thought of it though. He'd never really gotten to express just how much that had meant to him, to Jen or to Starlin. He'd lingered in that apartment with Starlin's family for a while even after Starlin himself went back to his duties.​

​

Part of him hadn't wanted to leave at all. But it wasn't actually his family. It wasn't his life, it was Starlins. And Jen didn't need a replacement son, no matter how much she'd done for him.​

​

He wiped away a tear before it could fall, feigning as though he had something in his eye. Then he reached for something random from the plate of food, slow and hesitant as he contemplated eating it.​

​

Ishani Dinn ​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

His hand squeezed hers, and she squeezed back.

She did look a little confused when he mentioned Starlin’s mother, though he was quick to explain. The hitch in his voice betrayed him, though he managed to wipe away his tears before they could fall. The woman clearly must’ve been good to him to have made such an impression.

“I know,” she said. “I tracked down Starlin, hm, right before you disappeared, actually. I wanted to know everything that had happened on Ossus and afterwards. I’m glad I did, or we might not be here now. At least, we wouldn’t be meeting under these circumstances…”

Now she had to ask about the Nether. That was enough to kill her appetite. She watched as he took some food, though he seemed reluctant to eat as well.

“Arcturus…” she began, then hesitated. “Is there a chance you’ll be pulled back into the Nether again?”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Of course she knew about all that. He was a little silly for believing the topic hadn't already come up, given that the pair already knew one another. Still it felt good to get it off his own chest anyway. His head turned back toward her then, now that past secrets - if one could even call it such - were out of the way. She seemed genuinely grateful that he was sitting here with her now.​

​

It just made matters all that worse. He didn't eat, he just sort of held the sandwich uncomfortably. A stone had made his stomach its home.​

​

She started to ask him something else. Paused. Then continued. It took every ounce of will the boy had left not to look away when the question was posed. Another evident swallow, Adams apple bobbing as he pondered on his response. This was it then, wasn't it? That last moment of peace and ignorance. Then he nodded his head.​

​

"I... I don't know what dragged me there in the first place. So I can't rightly claim it won't happen again."​

​

That answer led him toward responding to her previous request. He didn't want to. He hated himself for having to...​

​

"Ish..." Ish... What right did he have to refer to her that way anymore. "I can't stay." His voice was whispered and hoarse, it broke toward the end and his gaze this time did waver. Sank down until he was staring at that unbitten sandwich in his hand. He put it back on the plate, then he was just staring at empty hands.​

​

"Look around, Ishani... Look at all you've managed in my absence. Then think back to how things were before. You wanted to leave that realm long before your hand was forced, love. You even asked me once to leave. I won't let you sit here and clip your wings again. I won't. That isn't fair on you, and the resentment you'd grow to feel wouldn't be fair on either of us. This... This is all you, girl. Let it flourish."​

​

Then he fell silent, staring off at a spot on the floor in the distance.​

​

Ishani Dinn
​