Speak To The Mountain

[Chiara Viren]

There was no real plan as to where she was going, or what she was going to do when she got there. Life, lately, had left her like a feather floating on the breeze, wandering clumsily without direction, the winds of change taking her to and fro.

Some months prior, Chiara had come to discover the truth of her new lease on life; the shame of it, of what Ahani had done, left her not with feelings of gratitude, but with lingering rancor and degradation that gnawed ceaselessly at the core of her being. Reincarnation would have a soul-shaking effect on anyone, but being brought back to life, at the cost of a hundred others? That left a far deeper and piercing wound on a Jedi whose entire purpose was dedicated to the preservation of life.

Manu did not know.

With the state of his fragility and always seeming like he could die at any moment, Chiara feared that the truth might set him well and truly free, all the way to an overdue grave.

So, she made the difficult choice and left without much fanfare. The Masters daughter, always caught in an unending chase, looking for something within and without that she’d lost. A bout of introspection was needed, and there was one person that she sought to help her find her path again.

Her fist rapped on the heavy metal door of the Naboo estate then slowly uncurled to retreat back to her side, patiently waiting for an answer.

If anyone could help her realign her focus and find her way, it was [member="Judah Lesan"].

 

[Judah Lesan]

The house was quiet, too quiet. There was no longer the pitter patter of tiny feet on the floor, or the sounds of meals being made in the kitchen. Judah Lesan was alone in the quiet, a stark reminder that his son, and the others he had helped raise, were gone. For some they would have the comfort of their spouse, but Katara had died, leaving Judah alone in the solitude of their Naboo home and Winery which still bore the name given it all those years ago, LeStar. Judah had seen to it that production did not stop, their wines being shipped all over the galaxy. It made Judah independently wealthy, but no one would ever know it by the way he loved or dressed.

He was rarely home, but today was an exception.

His mind was lost on who was absent from the house, trying to focus on anything but those things. Judah knew he could not remain for long, but a knock at the door did not let him slip out the back door as he had hoped. Placing a smile on his face, the Jedi Master opened the door only to find a face he did not expect to see.

[member="Chiara Viren"]

He had helped her before, training her in lightsaber combat, among other things. His hand rest on the door as he looked the girl over to take in what changes may have occurred since their last meeting. A small nod invited her into the house, and Judah's hand slid off the edge of the door as he moved deeper into the house. He dropped the fake smile, knowing Chiara would rather see Judah as he was rather than whatever he projected himself to be in the moment.

"Look at what the wind blew in..." he said with a small smirk. He was proud of his own humor at times. "You seem as lost as I do." It was a statement, not a question.

Judah motioned for Chiara to sit as he walked back toward the kitchen and put on a kettle of water. They would both be drinking tea at this hour, even if Judah had moved on to stronger things in his older age.

"Want to talk about it?"

 

[Chiara Viren]

Seeing Judah’s face again, after all of this time, made the petite redheads heart-shaped lips turn up into a smile - though it didn’t quite seem to reach her eyes. Of course, he caught on right away to her mood, that seemed to match the darkening sky, making mention of her emotional state. The door opened to her and he motioned for her to follow, disappearing inside the estate as fresh raindrops began to fall outside.

Following him through the eerily quiet home, she thought on his words to her.

Lost. A perfect way to describe where she was at on this journey she’d been thrown into; her heart and soul floating somewhere that was over two-hundred years in the past. A place she had no hope of ever going back to. She was like a ship with no anchor, and it was difficult not to dwell on, especially in light of what she’d uncovered.

Of course Chiara didn’t bother trying to hide how she felt, and could likewise tell that he was hurting in his own way. They had developed a bond through all of that time they had spent training together, and it felt good knowing that there was an open honesty between them. It made her feel less alone. Hopefully, it brought the older Jedi some comfort as well.

She padded her way to the living area as he went ahead to the kitchen, settling herself down into the soft cushioned couch and draping one leg over the other as she relaxed, taking everything in. Chiara could tell that the home had not been arranged in some time, there were still touches of Katara everywhere around her. It lent to a feeling of warmth and wholeness, but at the same time conveyed the grip her passing had on Judah.

Violet eyes looked up as he returned. She sighed, debated, she was going to tell him eventually, anyway, but maybe they wouldn’t jump into her troubles just yet.

“It’s a long story, better get to the tea first.” She moved over and patted a spot next to her, indicating for him to sit. “Why don’t you tell me about yourself, first? I was sorry to hear about Katara...how have you been holding up?”

[member="Judah Lesan"]

 

[Judah Lesan]

Judah shook his head. Of course she was not going to come right out with what was bothering her. The young woman never did. She was young enough to be like a daughter to him, though her red hair was too much of a reminder to how Katara had looked when they were both still in their twenties. It wasn't that Judah did not want talk about Katara, but with someone that looked like her? It was why Judah stayed quiet for a moment as he retrieved the tea, and even sat in the chair across from the girl. He did not mean to slight her in any way by not sitting next to her, but she was not Katara. No one was. While Judah certainly did not have any mental objections to moving on in life, there were still small things which went to far. If only Chiara knew how often Katara had sat just as she was now.

"As well as anyone could say, I guess," Judah finally answered before sipping the tea and settling back into the plush. "Some days are better than others, and the nights are hard. I can understand why the old Jedi frowned on attachments. The emotions are harder to keep in check at times."

He was simply being honest, but Judah was also not about to overshare. His hands wrapped around the mug of tea as his eyes settled on the girl in front of him. It was ironic they both found themselves lost, even if it was for different reasons.

Judah sighed.

A hand came up to the forehead as he gripped his temples and began to rub them. The loss had taken more of a toll than he wanted to admit, but Judah had also found company when he needed to. Of course he was still coming to terms with the news that one such person who had been a companion of his in an on again off again kind of way had given him a son twenty-nine or so years ago. Magena Dray had been trouble from the moment Judah met her, and yet he dropped everything simply to help her. He still did when she needed it, and would even though she kept their son a secret for so long. Judah simply did not understand himself sometimes. He missed his wife, mourned for her, and yet...

"I know you didn't come here just to check in on how I'm doing. Kat's been dead too long for this to be about that. I appreciate your concern, but Chi... you came here for you, so out with it. How can I help?"

[member="Chiara Viren"]

 

[Chiara Viren]

She didn't know what to think when he sat across from her, observing him closely as he chose his seat. Perhaps he simply had a preferred spot, or perhaps her manners were slipping and she'd offended him in some way. Best not to make assumptions about it. Lifting the mug to her lips, she took a testing sip of the light-caramel herbal brew he brought her and carefully listened to what he had to say. What he was feeling, was certainly not lost on her, and Chiara's violet eyes glowed with warmth and sympathy. She remembered when she lost Ressa, and then Ash. The fresh grief that surged through her like bolts of lightning, had shook her to the very core, almost undoing her completely. That was when she needed to trust in the Force, more than ever, lest she become an empty shell for the darkside to seep in. She sighed softly, "It's difficult, losing someone who was such a large part of your life. Nothing ever quite goes back to the way it was, but...it does get easier. All things considered, you look well."

Chiara would have been content to talk with her friend longer without getting into the meat of the reason why she'd come, but it seemed as if Judah was ready to move on with the topic, even like there was agitation in his voice. Or was that exhaustion? With a quick brush of her hand, she pushed her red loose hair behind her ears. "You're right... this wasn't just a random check up and visit." she admitted with a small smile.

"I know Ilias told you my story of being a clone with imprinted memories of another woman, but," she quieted, her eyes moving to look at the cup in her lap. "Though I was told this as well, I knew deep down it wasn't true. I knew who I was. That I am Chiara Viren, but when this truth I've always known was revealed, I didn't feel relieved by it. How could I? When I learned that my grandmother was using Sith alchemy to bring us back, and subsequently broke her mind over it... It was out of love, but," Chiara felt the last words catch in her throat. It was never a good sign when you tried to make an excuse to justify something so atrocious. "She killed...hundreds, just so I could live again. I'm scared about what all of this means. I've read awful things about Jedi being brought back this way, and never being able to touch the light again. Even though I feel it, what if that fades away? What if I am left with nothing but darkness, because of a choice I had no say in? And, the people she killed, those innocents...I'm a Jedi, a healer, it's my sworn duty to defend the helpless and heal the sick and wounded. Knowing what she did? That's been one the hardest parts of this entire thing, for me to reconcile with."

[member="Judah Lesan"]