Private So That Happened

[Iris Arani]

The Temple Library turned out to be a pretty good place to just unwind. Painting had always been her go to, but variety was important. So was not being attached to something so specific. Another lesson she was trying to take to heart. All her life, painting had been an escape. She found herself another shelf to perch on, hiding out from view among the various datapads, datacrons, actual books, whatever. Time alone was a needed thing right now. She scrolled through one of the datapads she had, her eyes narrowed.

The report had come in. Kai Bamarri was in jail.

And she still had no idea how to feel about it all.

Thalia Senn

 

[Thalia Senn]

"So," Thalia said, setting down a datapad and a platter that had something that looked like a rehydrated nutrient paste in a bowl. "This is where you go when you're not galavanting across the Galaxy or painting." Thalia sat down beside her friend. The mood between them had been a little awkward ever since Thalia had attacked Iris, again. Though this time it had been in self-defense and most of it had been forgiven by the Council on account of trauma and Iris technically being the one to break the rules.

"I heard about Kai," she said softly. Thalia didn't care about the creature. He was an abomination that should have been destroyed years ago by the Jedi and now it was beginning to rear its ugly, true self. You can take the soul out of a monster apparently, but you can never take the monster out of the soul. That being said, the little karking sithspit was Iris' friend. Thalia could call her airsick until she was airsick and blue in the face but Iris was too good of a person to see it any other way. Maybe naive was the better word for it.

Thalia took her spoon and poked at the goop in her bowl a bit before taking a bite while she waited for her friend to speak.

 

[Iris Arani]

"I- huh? Oh. Thalia. Uh, yeah. It's uh, quiet." Now that Briana Sal-Soren was back, yeah. The apartment wasn't her place to go to be alone. Just space, and here. Space was probably better, given the lack of colors in that void. And.. Iris frowned. Right. Kai. Everyone seemed to want to know about it. The report didn't have all the details, but enough, right? "You wanna drill me about it too?"

Thalia Senn

 

[Thalia Senn]

Iris Arani
​

"Nope," Thalia said, taking another spoonful before grimacing and pushing the tray away. Iris already knew how Thalia felt about Kai. She didn't need a lecture on why trusting a Sithspawn was always bound to end in trouble. Not from her of all people.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright," she turned to Iris, a sympathetic cast to her frown. She looked into Iris' off-purple eyes with her own soft brown ones and did her best to offer a small smile. "I just," she paused, "Well, I know what it's like to have someone rooting around in your mind. Thought you might want to talk to someone who got that." It was a violation of the highest order. She didn't remember the touch of the Sith'ari or when it happened but she remembered the feeling that came when she had been released. She hadn't been mind controlled, not by a long shot, but the heavy hold that man had on her both emotionally and mentally was something that had stuck with her. Telepathy had become the sort of unofficial language of the Padawans because Kai refused to speak and that level of trust- well, Thalia had lost that long ago and as a result had been the odd one out usually. Though if it was because of that or because of her past she couldn't tell.

"You don't have to, I just wanted to...You know, offer. I owe you a debt that can never be repaid. I'll always be here for you Iris."

 

[Iris Arani]

Oh. Well. That was good. The last thing she wanted was to be drilled about the whole thing again. Her expression softened, her shoulders relaxed. Iris just returned the smile. Small, but not tired. Not like it was before.

"What Kai did was wrong, but it wasn't the real issue I guess? Carnifex was in my head. Since Tython. Goading me to kill myself whenever I slept. Sometimes I'd wake up on the ledge of my appartment. Then Kai started trying to rip my memories out and I just.. Snapped. I punched him a couple times and he just.. Told me to keep punching him. So I ran. .. That's not normal, right?"

Thalia Senn

 

[Thalia Senn]

Iris Arani ​

She hadn't known about Carnifex. That terrified her. She wasn't sure which part of that story wasn't supposed to be normal. Sleepwalking to the edge of your apartment? No that wasn't normal, but she wasn't about to say that. She knew what that was like.

"Is it normal to want to punch Kai in the face?" She snickered before realizing that probably wasn't the right reaction and buried her darkening cheeks in her cup of caf and mumbled into her cup.

"Sorry." She looked over sheepishly at Iris. "I didn't mean to joke about it."

 

[Iris Arani]

Despite herself, Iris actually laughed. More at the off key question than anything else. Left field, as they'd say. She shook her head, still smiling despite all the terribleness she'd just said a moment ago. "I don't think it's good to want to punch anyone, though I don't blame you for wanting to. I wouldn't take back punching him. It was just.. Weird. Him wanting me to punch him. Outa everything that happened, that's probably what stuck out the most."

Thalia Senn

 

[Thalia Senn]

Iris Arani
​

"There's no understanding them," she said with a sigh. "They are what they are. And they aren't like us." It was why they should have been destroyed upon discovery, is what she wanted to say.

"You shouldn't worry about them, though," Thalia said, her voice becoming hard. "In fact, you shouldn't be thinking about them at all. Let the Force sort it out, I say." She shrugged and tried one more time to eat a spoonful of whatever slop she had in the bowl before swallowing hard and setting the spoon down definitively.

"I know the Jedi mindset is about being without attachments to the physical world and all that, but couldn't the commissary get something better than...Whatever this is?" She grimaced at the bowl, her eyes shooting blaster bolts at the disgusting soup.

 

[Iris Arani]

She didn't agree with everything Thalia said, but.. She was right. The Force would sort it out. It wasn't her problem to solve, it never had been. She let out a much needed breath of relief before laughing and holding out a hand for the soup. "It can't be that bad. I like the cooks here, they're pretty kind." She didn't wait for permission before just sneaking in her own bite.

And grimaced.

".. Who made this, again?"

Thalia Senn

 

[Thalia Senn]

Iris Arani
​

She didn't wait for permission before just sneaking in her own bite.

And grimaced.

"I warned you," Thalia said laughing.

".. Who made this, again?"

Thalia shrugged sheepishly.

"Teeechnically me. But only by the most technical of technical ways. The true answer? Probably some droid on a factory in Terminus." She poked it with her fingers and pulled away with a slimy brown stretch pull of the stuff. "All I did was add water like it said." Either from sputtering or talking with a full mouth a wobbly speck of the strange rehydrated ration once-soup, quickly goopifying lunch stuck out like a bad mole on Iris' cheek. Thalia smiled softly and took her napkin. "You got some on your face. Don't they teach you to not talk with your mouth full where you come from?" Without asking she took the napkin and wiped the spec away before crumpling the napkin up and tossing it into the bowl.

 

[Iris Arani]

"Do you.. Not know how to cook?" Iris blinked as her cheek was wiped off, glancing towards it. Or tried to anyway. Not that she could see her cheek out of the corner of her eye. And laughed, after a second. Was she that messy of an eater? Probably, knowing herself. Still, though.

"You should really learn how to cook y'know."

Thalia Senn

 

[Thalia Senn]

Iris Arani
​

Color rushed to Thalia's cheeks darkening her indignant expression. Cook? Did she know how to cook? She sputtered.

"Of course I know how to cook!" she shouted defiantly shooting up from her seat. The outburst caused a few disgruntled archive goers to grumble and one Twi'lek shushed her from three tables away. Thalia sat down with a humph.

"What's the point of the Jedi Commasary if I can't get food from it?" she grumbled. "I can cook just fine. Storms Iris, you can't just accuse people of not being able to cook."

 

[Iris Arani]

"There's a lot of things I shouldn't accuse people of, but I do it anyway. Sometimes I have a point." She snickered. Even grinned at Thalia. This was nice. Actually being able to talk to her, even after everything that happened, the train, Iris upsetting her in recovery. This was nice. Just.. Really nice.

"They let you use the kitchen as you want. Should make sure to watch what you eat."

Thalia Senn

 

[Thalia Senn]

Iris Arani
​

"I just would rather spend the time training than cooking," Thalia retorted. "Listen, the more you sweat in training the less you bleed in battle. But the Force is telling me that Speyr Bailey wasn't talking about sweating in the kitchen."

She leaned back in her chair casually.

"I heard you're on your way to becoming a Knight soon," she said, a little solemnly.

 

[Iris Arani]

"Mm. True, even if I don't like it." Hindsight was twenty twenty. As prepared as she thought she'd been for war, she wasn't. No one ever truly was. No point in dwelling on it though. Especially as the colors turned a shade of blue around them. She blinked, glancing over towards Thalia. Just stared, for a little. Trying to piece together the untold story shown in the colors around them.

"Maybe. A lot of people think it's going to happen. I guess technically it should. Just.. Feels weird, y'know?"

Thalia Senn

 

[Thalia Senn]

Iris Arani
​

Thalia's jaw dropped in disbelief and her chair fell forward with a loud clack that drew even more eyes than her last outburst.

"Weird? Iris, you're the best Jedi I know." And it was the truth - mostly because she only knew a handful of Jedi at this point. The Order had really exploded in the last few years and it felt like she was meeting new Jedi or new Children of the Force every day.

"You should be excited! I know I would be. I'd already be planning my first mission," But that had always been her dream. Ever since her pa had started her on stories of the old Galactic Republic and the Galactic Alliance. Stories about the Jedi that saved his life during the Clockwork Rebellion, or the battles of the Jedi against the One Sith. Her first master called it a thirst for glory in battle, Khefiir called it "Hunger for the Hunt", she understood now that it had been childish fancy. War was nothing to look forward to. Now she just wanted to do as much good as possible, fix as many wrongs as she could.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to dismiss your feelings that way," Thalia said a bit regretfully.

 

[Iris Arani]

The best?

It was Iris's turn to have her cheeks darken. She just blinked in bewilderment, staring up at Thalia as the other Padawan leapt to her feet. Frightened? No. Surprised? Very. She was just in that stunned silence for a little bit. At least until Thalia seemed regretful of all things. That just brought a smile to Iris's lips.

"You've nothing to be sorry about, you know. And you'll be a great knight too, you know."

Thalia Senn