Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Small Steps in Quiet Places


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Regret clung to Rix like a second tunic. With every step, it tightened, until it hugged his torso so tightly that he realized he had forgotten to breathe. He inhaled sharply, jabbing air into his lungs, then let it rattle his chest as it expelled.

He stopped a few meters from the threshold into the Sanctuary's Jedi museum, an island in the middle of the hall but which allowed others to flow by every which way easily. Part of the entry exhibit was visible from here. It didn't surprise Rix in the least that the museum had chosen the most iconic bit of Nabooian ancient culture to be the first one it presented visitors, but it was troubling in its own right as well. The last time he had met the sculpted eyes of an Elder had been in the front of a museum too, although there had only been one gaze to meet there. And it hadn't seemed nearly as judgmental as these figures of various sizes and shapes from hanging masks to figurines to statues, even as he brewed his nefarious plot.

He swallowed thickly.

Maybe it was how these were either original limestone or molded, fired clay. The mask that had hung in the Taris enclave museum's reception hall had been a replica. Most of the artifacts that Master Efret Farr Efret Farr had collected before her time on the New Jedi Order's Council had been. She hadn't believed in taking any physical thing out of its cultural context and away from its people—its creators, its rightful stewards—unless she had express permission, no matter how small or much it might not be missed.

That was why she perfected a methodology for digital preservation of archeological and anthropological artifacts. High definition and true-to-color holographic scans gave such an accurate impression of whatever they captured that, if a viewer didn't see the holoprojector or try to interact with the artifact, they wouldn't know the difference between what they saw and what they didn't.

To her, every culture was worth sharing and studying, but neither decision was to be made by the outsider. So, she attained permission wherever she could—whenever there was someone, either alive or dead, to ask, no matter how inconvenient—to preserve something with her original method too.

He imagined for a moment that she was in there somewhere, cataloguing something just out of sight, working just as she must have been in the Grand Temple's museum. She earned the tile of Chief Curator some months after he had gone to prison, and by the time he had been released, she had resigned, and the Temple was soon to belong to the Empire, so he had not gotten the chance to visit her there. That swirled amongst his regrets. They seemed to be bottomless. But even though he had not been able to see her at work, and they did not talk about it much during her visitations, he knew that she must have struggled.

It was an honor to be a councilperson, certainly, but the station of Chief Curator also weighed heavily on her. He could see that here, now, looking into another private temple museum. Service must have killed little parts of her: tending to artifacts displaced from home, unable to repatriate them; gatekeeping knowledge for Jedi, not allowed to extend admission to the public as she had on Taris.

Perhaps that was whatever she was struggling with now.

The presence he had conjured in his mind faded.

He sighed again, the movement a bit more controlled as walked towards the museum's open door.

 

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The path to becoming a Jedi was not as clean as Oryn had always believed growing up. Trust in the Force. Focus on the present. How could he, when the future was a dark cloud looming ahead? How could he let go of the past, when it had led him to this? All the signs he should have read, all the actions he could've taken, should've taken, years ago.

Meditation had always been his refuge. Now the calmness of mind eluded him, even in the serene meditation chambers of the beautiful temple on Naboo. His mind wasn't settled enough for lightsaber drills either, that which had always been his second escape could only lead to more frustration when he was like this.

Instead Oryn sought to release his monsters down in the archives. Perhaps the Jedi of the past could save his future.

Searching for libraries and archives, he found a museum he never knew existed. He must've been told, surely, but it caught him by surprise. He hadn't come down here nearly enough, clearly. The various artifacts and pieces of art was enough to get lost in for hours. And he did. There were remnants of cultures here he never knew about, and some he only thought he did, until their histories proved him otherwise.

Finally, his mind had found something to distract him, and his worries were forgotten. Perhaps that was what took him so long to realize he wasn't alone down here… Turning his head around the corner, he saw a figure, a man he did not recognise. He didn't want to intrude, but he didn't seem to notice him just yet. It would seem weird to just hang around and not announce himself, right? Then again, Oryn had come here to find peace and quiet, perhaps he should leave this guy to - Feth, they made eye contact. Feth feth feth, this was way worse! Now he looked like he was spying on him!

Oryn stepped out from the shelf half his body was hidden behind, and tried to put on his most relaxed and friendly smile. At least he succeded at the latter. "Uhh, hi! I'm Oryn. Padawan Selvar. Do - yes, hi" Feeeeeeeth.

Rix Braji Rix Braji
 

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Stepping from the lobby into the main exhibition room confirmed what he already knew: Master Farr was not here. She wasn't anywhere close to Shiraya's Sanctuary either. Apparently, she lived somewhere away from any city or town, didn't want her location to be known, and probably avoided this place like a plague.

Never in a million years would Rix have taken Efret for the type to become a hermit.

As he scanned around, just to make sure, his gaze caught that of a young Nautolan. His immediate anxiety ebbed for a few moments of calm until a slightly different form bubbled up. Intuition pricked at the back of his mind, suggesting that this teen was a padawan learner even before he introduced himself.

Thoughts of his past with Efret faded almost seamlessly into thoughts of his past with Miona.

"Good to meet you, Oryn," he replied, forcing a smile and a small nod. "I'm Knight Braji. Rix, if you'd rather. What brings you to the museum today?" Discomfort and renewed shame rose up in his body, but not enough to show on his features.

 

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Oryn could taste his own embarrassment and discomfort in the air. It expanded, and mingled in with something... else. It took him a moment to realize it wasn't just his own discomfort his headtails picked up on. The cause, of course, a mystery. Was he disturbing the Knight? He should probably excuse himself, but something in him kept him standing there. Rix, as the man had introduced himself, had opened up for conversation. The tension in him eased somewhat. He wasn't being chewed out, at least not yet...

"Good to meet you too"
Oryn replied, putting up his most easy going smile. Forced or not, he always had the impression that most people weren't familiar enough with Nautolans to tell the difference.

"I..." he started, but the words didn't come. "don't know." he confessed. "Do you ever go someplace to look for answers, even when you don't know the question? I think that's what I'm doing here." That made no sense. But, well... His mind was a bit of a mess of late, and he didn't quite know what to do about it.

"What about you? Do you work here?"

There were so many Jedi specializations, so he hoped it wasn't rude to ask. For Oryn, that would probably become the AgriCorps... Shifting muck and planting crops all day.

Rix Braji Rix Braji
 

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But it made sense to the knight.

"Well, a museum is a good place to look," Rix replied with a knowing smile. "For both questions and answers."

Then he shook his head at Oryn's question. "I don't, no, but I used to work in a research lab associated with a museum on Taris." His gaze drifted from the Nautolan to a grouping of artifacts arranged in a display case behind him. "That seems like a long time ago."

The Researcher specialization appealed to most padawans, both younger and older. Rix had been one of the lucky few to have actually managed to become one. He used to be proud of that—by the time he found the Lightsworn's teachings, he had grown excessively so. And now, after completing a prison sentence for the criminal acts that such pride had urged him to commit, he had overcorrected, though not consciously: he was humble to the extreme, having lost faith in himself.

"But," he added, "I came here for much the same reason you did." Another smile came, this one a little playfully conspiratorial. "Masters and knights get lost from time to time too. Just, most of them probably won't tell you."

 

Oryn smiled, his shoulders dropped. He felt less stressed now that the other Jedi was handling this so calmly. It didn't feel like he was disturbing.

"Never been to Taris. Was it nice?" he asked, while his gaze followed Rix to the artifacts, although he didn't know what to look for. Rix seemed to be looking beyond.

"Yeah?" Oryn laughed, a little nervously, a hint of disbelief in his tone as he continued. "I find that hard to believe. You all seem to have it all figured out to me." The tone was light, friendly, not accusatory.

If even Knights and Masters stumbled, what hope did he have? "If you're lost… How do you go about finding your way back?"

Oryn sure didn't know the answer. He wasn't even sure there was an answer. His hope was that it was hidden somewhere in ancient texts, or in tales of brave Knights and Masters of the past. They must have faced adversity greater than he did, yet showed no fear. How could Oryn get past his?

 

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