Skia Drevur

[Matthew(Rogue)Drevur]

Spoiler

Name: Skia Drevur
Loyalties: Republic, [member="Matthew (Rogue) Drevur"], [member="Katfi Drevur"]
Role: Matthew Drevur and Katfi Drevur's Mother, used to be a Jedi
Development Threads: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/76133-the-cliff-at-the-end-of-the-river/
Age: 43
Species: Kiffar
Force Sensitivity: Knight
Appearance: Tall, Dark hair, same facial tattoos as Matthew (two blue stripes under each eye) kind green eyes, looks young for her age.
Personality: Kind, a little traumatized by the loss of Matthew, and even more by his return. She loves jokes as well, and has a sense of justice. But also has anger issues do to the loss of her son (me :3)
Weapon of Choice: E11 Blaster Rifle, Yellow Bladed Saberstaff
Wealth: Moderate
Combat Function: Healer
Skills: Force Heal, Force Push, Force Jump, Jedi Mind Tricks, Telekinesis, Force Speed, and is skilled in Form VI Niman (That was a long list of Force powers that I had to Google)
Notable Possessions: Lightsaber, Blaster, Holocron
Other Notes: she has a theme, I know it is FNAF, but it relates to her because she lost her son. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ijUn5hi8kc
lives on Kiffu with the rest of my family, she was an important Jedi Knight during the past 30 years, and helped in some major battles
Intent: She will become a very interesting character in my storyline, because as I progress, I will find out more about her and learn her true identity.

 

[Tanith Alde]

(Ignore this)

 

[Matthew(Rogue)Drevur]

um, i know, but she isn't my new character, and i don't know how to play a girl. well, i probably can, i live with two sisters.

 

[Boethiah]

under review.

 

[Boethiah]

Psst hey. Go your your profile, in the top right of it theres a button called characters. Make a sub acccoutn for your new character

Please do not post in another member's submission. That is only for members of the Codex team and the submitter.

 

[Boethiah]

[member="Matthew(Rogue)Drevur"]

Seeing as you're a new to Codex, I'd like to introduce myself; I am Sam, one of the resident Codex Judges, and it is my goal--as with the other CJs--to help members of the forum improve their submissions so that they meet all minimum requirements for approval.

Master-level force users do require a development thread, but let's not worry about that for now. The first thing I'd like to see is some fleshing out of the NPC itself. I'd like you to expand the appearance and personality fields by at least two more sentences. As this is a master-level NPC, and one that will be important in your character's storyline, it will help other writers greatly to know how to roleplay with this NPC whenever you bring it into a thread.

 

[Matthew(Rogue)Drevur]

Well she lives on Kiffu with the rest of my family, she was an important Jedi Master during the past 30 years, and helped in some major battles,
Personality, She loves jokes as well, and has a sense of justice. But also has anger issues do to the loss of her son (me :3)

Appearance: well, she looks like this, she looks like this but older, its like someone just made this for my character:

 

[Boethiah]

[member="Matthew(Rogue)Drevur"]

Well expand on that in the submission, please. Write as much (or as little) as you want. Let me know when the edits are made.

 

[Matthew(Rogue)Drevur]

added, and of corse, a lot of her will be kept secret for rp purposes

 

[Boethiah]

added, and of corse, a lot of her will be kept secret for rp purposes

Seems fine for now.

As I mentioned in my earlier reply; dev threads are indeed required for master-level NPC. Now, since you're new to the board, I'm just looking for effort here. So I won't be asking you to fulfill any minimum number of posts. Instead just work on a thread involving this NPC--whether it be meeting them, exploring their background or something--and @mention me when you feel you've written enough. Then I can look it over and decide whether or not it needs more posts, or if it's good to go.

 

[Matthew(Rogue)Drevur]

ok, will do, but where would I put the thread?

 

[Boethiah]

[member="Matthew(Rogue)Drevur"]

You can make it an open roleplay, or a private roleplay. Your choice.

 

[Matthew(Rogue)Drevur]

Added development thread

 

[Boethiah]

[member="Matthew (Rogue) Drevur"]

I'd like to see more than one post. I'd say a minimum of 15 is fine, as long as they're fleshed out and relevant enough.

Also, could you please put the NPC's image into a spoiler? It's rather large and takes up space. Either decreasing the image size, or placing it in a spoiler would help a lot.

 

[Matthew(Rogue)Drevur]

Ok will do, and ill probably make more backstory for her in the various posts me and my sister make, speaking of which, I need to change some stuff. And also I changed her role to Knight, because I don't think I'm ready for Jedi Master mom. And by that I mean I'm not ready for the amount of posts I will have to do.

 

[Boethiah]

[member="Matthew (Rogue) Drevur"]

If that's what you wish, very well. However; I'd still like to see a minimum of 10 posts. I'm not asking for 2,000 words or something, just genuine work towards the character since they've got quite a bit of power to them.

 

[Matthew(Rogue)Drevur]

Sure, I think I can do that.

 

[Boethiah]

and others,

I just realized you listed others. Could you please define specific skills when it comes to force powers? I can't really approve an NPC knowing that they could be using a bunch of different powers that would be very powerful for them to use. I may have to request more development depending on how much they know, too.

 

[Matthew(Rogue)Drevur]

ok, i will list them all.
[member="Boethiah"]

 

[Boethiah]

[member="Matthew (Rogue) Drevur"]

Alright, a few things. First I'd like you to please put that image in spoilers or at least decrease the image size, it takes up a lot of space and makes it difficult to read your submission.

Next, I have to say that you have a lot of powers for this character. Since they're a Knight and not a master, you're either going to need a lot of development or tone down the thread. Mainly Battle Meditation is a very powerful ability, and we'd like to suggest against people using NPC to potentially teach them powerful abilities in the force too. Overall this character has a solid group of force powers that would make it arguably on par with a PC knight.