Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Sink or Swim


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Aiden Porte Aiden Porte

Dawn had come quietly to Naboo.

It spilled over the cliffs in pale gold light, washing across the domes and terraces of the Jedi Temple. The structure rose from the landscape as if it had always belonged there, with its smooth marble arches flowing into elegant domes, waterfalls threading through gardens of green. Stone, water, and life existed in careful harmony. The Force whispered softly through it all.

Inside the Temple, Oryn faced something entirely different. The chamber's simulation systems had transformed the arena. What once had been an open practice field, now stood enclosed. Rain fell in relentless sheets, hammering against the durasteel floor and turning every step into a treacherous gamble. The downpour blurred the world into shifting gray.

Normally the simulation systems were reserved for special instruction. Today, however, Oryn had taken certain liberties. Permission could come later. Or forgiveness.

The environment should have favoured him. Water had never been a hindrance to a Nautolan. Even in the darkest depths of a murky sea his eyes could find shape and movement where others saw only shadow. This was different. The storm fell in dense, shifting curtains that constantly blurred the boundary between air and water. Vision warped. Distances changed. Even his instincts struggled to keep pace.

Three training droids hovered around him like patient predators. Only three. They circled and shifted, releasing hissing feints and sudden bolts. In the chaos of the fabricated storm, their numbers felt doubled.

Oryn had yet to earn the right to construct a lightsaber, so it was a standard issue training saber he brought up to deflect the incoming shots. He turned. Deflection. A second shot came from behind. Without looking he shifted his stance, catching the bolt. His form flowed like a river responding to erratic currents. Step. Turn. Redirect. Minimal effort. He could do all this, and still he was no closer to becoming a Jedi Knight.

Droids were easy. They could not feel. They could not confuse him with emotion or doubt, nor their pain as he struck them. They were clean and mechanical. A true Jedi should be able to face anything with the same clarity. All that mattered was himself, the present, the Force. And yet, he simply couldn't let go- "FETH!" The bolt struck him squarely in the rump.

He leapt with a startled shout, barely avoiding the next shot. His balance shattered. The rhythm was gone. Before his foot touched the ground again, two more bolts slammed into him, one across the older and the other striking his leg.

The Nautolan collapsed backwards into the soaked floor.

"End! Simulation end!"

The saber slipped from his hand and rolled away across the slick surface. Oryn groaned and dropped onto his back, rain still hammering down.

"Kriffing feth. Sithspit!"

The downpour seized in the next instant. The chamber fell silent.

 




Aiden had lingered on, as he watched the simulation move and take shape, as the Jedi Padawan continued on, and then he could help but smirk. It could be noted that a small chuckled escaped from his mouth. He remembered these days, all to much. Although much of his earler youth was in the archives studying and reading. But he knew that once his first days began in the training room, there were more mishaps then anything.

He stepped forward, not with a scolding look, or even a lecture. There wasn't a need for it. Whomever he was, he wanted to prove himself, and for all intents and purporse there was nothing wrong with that.

As long as it was done right.

"Are you okay my friend? Those droids are a handful, aren't they?" Aiden asked with a small smile, as he held his hand out for him to take if he wished to help him to his feet.


 

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Oryn looked with wide eyes at the other Jedi, ready to scramble to his feet, but Aiden was already standing over him. He hadn't sensed him coming, which was unusual for him. Oryn's expression slid into a sheepish grin. The emotions clung to the air like subtle fragrances, and thankfully, it bore the taste of amusement rather than anger. He did not need to ask for forgiveness, then.

"Thank you. I was just- I lost focus." he accepted the hand and let the other man help pull him back to his feet.

"My mind was elsewhere"
he felt the need to make excuses, lest face the embarrassment of being bested by a set of simple droids.

Quickly he realized he was forgetting himself, however. "I'm Oryn. I mean, Padawan Selvar."

He didn't know who the other Jedi was, but just based on the way he was carrying himself, he could tell he was no Padawan.

"I'll get this cleaned up" he knew he didn't need to make excuses, but here he was making them unprompted again.

Aiden Porte Aiden Porte
 




"Ah..." Aiden said with a simple smile. "That's happened to me a time or too, better that these mistakes happen now then on the actual field." Aiden spoke with a friendly and easy going tone.

"Oryn, it's nice to meet you. I'm Aiden Porte." He looked around to what was left around them and he just shook his head once more.

"Don't worry about cleanup, why don't you try it again? Focus your thoughts, and calm your mind. Try it again."

Aiden took a step back as he waited to see if Oryn would give it another go.


 

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"Suppose you're right" Oryn replied with a nervous laugh. The tension was easing up in him, as he realized he wasn't in trouble, and he didn't need to feel embarrassed.

"Nice to meet you too" he replied. It was easy to relax with Aiden's easy going tone, and Oryn allowed it to rub off on him.

"Yeah? Alright. I can do that" he said, picking up his saber again.

Oryn centered himself with eyes closed and deep breaths. Another moment and he was ready, and flicked the training saber on. Calm mind... Calm mind... It was funny, how thinking about being calm made him less calm. The droids started circling him again, and before long they were firing.

Oryn turned, moved, trying to use minimal effort to defend himself against the bolts, moving as little as possible, but being forced out of position and nearly caught off guard a few times. It wasn't exactly elegant, but he started better than he finished, if nothing else.

Aiden Porte Aiden Porte


 


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Oryn Selvar Oryn Selvar (If you want to keep this going. If not no worries)
"Good, that's all it takes. A simple encouragment. That want to get up, stand up and try again." Aiden took a step back as he watched Oryn get into position once more, and the droids slowly began to surround him. And soon, they began to open fire. Aiden circled, on the outside, watching his posture. It was good, still needed work obviously.

Aiden felt, Oryn wasn't giving himself enough credit.

"Don't stress to much on how it looks. Simple repetition, over and over and you will get into a rythm. Then the rest will start just flowing naturally."


 

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"Thank you" he replied. Should he call him Knight Porte? Aiden? There wasn't much time to mull it over, as the droids came at him again and he was forced to defend. Aiden's words gave him some confidence, at he moved with a touch more confidence.

For a time.

The droids he could handle. He felt where their bolts would hit before they landed. His saber moved before the shot was even fired. Yet his own thoughts betrayed his calm. This was easy, but what did it matter? What would he do when he was facing real opponents? Living, breathing, live in the flesh. What would he do when he struck them with a deflected bolt? What would he do when he took a life he could've saved?

This was a challenge all Jedi faced. For Oryn, it took on another layer. His Nautolan heritage made him especially attuned to people's emotions. The Force only enhanced this ability. Yet he lacked control. The pain he delivered to others with his blade, only seemed to bounce back into him. However he tried, he hadn't quite worked out how to block out strong emotions.

What then when he faced two enemies, and say he killed one, yet was left hit with the pain of loss the one left standing felt? What then, Force forbid, when he came up against a Sith? He wasn't cut out for this. He just wasn't - "Aaghh!"

Distracted, again, the bolt hit him on his left arm, and he dropped down to the ground again. "I'm my own worst enemy"

"I just can't get out of my own way" out of my own head, more like. Part of him wanted to ask Aiden how he blocked out it all, but he just knew that Aiden never experienced this issue. He was probably better than that, and that's what made him a Jedi Knight. This was rookie level stuff, yet he just kept butting his head against it...

Aiden Porte Aiden Porte (very down to continue! I've been a bit on the slower side, but hoping things will ease up a bit going forward on my end)
 




Aiden chuckled lightly at his frustration. Not because he was making fun of it, but because he had been there before. They had all been there before at some point or another. Aiden moved forward, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze.

"It's okay, you aren't the first to say that. And you aren't the last either." Aiden usually had so much words to say about inspiration, hope, light. It was all the truth, but he didn't want to lean right into that, Not so quickly for today.

"I'm tempted to say. 'It will come in time. Patience, and such'. However, let's take a walk?" Aiden placed his hands behind his back as he moved away.

"What do you say my friend?"


 

Aiden's words came easy but they hit home. The Knight could practically feel the tension go out of Oryn's shoulders. It felt obvious when he heard it, yet it was precicely the kind of feedback he never seemed able to give himself.

"A walk sounds good"
Oryn managed a smile. Enough humiliation for one day. And, he reminded himself, he had the technique, he just needed to figure out a way to get over this one final hurdle. Aiden was right in that he needed to learn patience. Right now he was too in his head to keep butting against the same problem in the same way.

Oryn fell in step with Aiden. The simulation had made his surroundings intentiaonlly grim, but once they moved away from it, the tranqulity of the Naboo temple washed over him. The sun was shining, easing in through intentional gaps in the structure, built to take advantage of the natural light. Oryn had always appreciated how the temple seemed to rise up in concert with the surrounding nature instead of seeking to dominate it.

"This place is really beautiful. I don't think I could ever get used to living and training on that starbase."
he forgot the name momentarily. He had never been, but he knew their order had a space station operating as a hub for Jedi. "You ever been on that thing? I wonder what's it like"

 


"A walk sounds good"

"Perfect!" Aiden said with an easy smile and nod. "A walk will definetly clear our minds, make things less stressful." Aiden knew well enough, if you kept trying and you weren't getting results, either you were trying to hard or maybe getting frustrated with oneself and were making mistakes you couldn't see.

The walk, and to let one's mind settle would be a welcome feeling.

"Oh, you have no idea how beautiful this place is." Aiden said with a chuckled. "Naboo, truly has its own beauty and wonderful sights." Aiden looked over to him when she mentioned the starbase.

"Yes, I have been there several times. It really has its own beauty and glamour to it, not to distract, but just a place to steady oneself and I feel is well attuned with the Lightside of the force. Rightfully so, it's name gives it away." Aiden placed his hands behind his back, as he continued. "We can take a trip there if you would like at some point."

Aiden looked over to him. "How do you feel?"




 

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"Not too far from the sea either" he chimed in. Being close to water was a particular joy of his, perhaps unsurprisingly.

"Yeah? It would be interesting to see. I've never been to a station like that" Oryn couldn't hide the excitement in his voice at the prospect of it. It would be a grand thing to be allowed to experience.

"Suppose training in space should be no different than on the ground, but… I don't know. Being here, this close to nature"
let alone the people they were meant to protect. "Feels right, somehow."

"I'm sure you've seen all sorts of unique and special things, all around the Galaxy"
It was a thing rarely spoken about in the Jedi job adverts, all the travel you got to do with work!

Oryn walked beside Aiden, pondering the question posed. Then he chuckled. "Well I forgot I was meant to be embarrassed" Sometimes all you needed was a little walk to clear the mind, to distract from other things.

 




"It's extraordinary in its own right. We will take a visit soon, if that is something you would wish to do." Aiden said with an easy smile. As he continued on and listened to what Oryn was saying. Aiden knew, much like the older Jedi that clearing your mind was essential to the process of balance and focus. It wasn't just some boring technique that was used for false sense of certainty. It was true, and real just like hope was.

"It seems you have found your place to be calm and at peace. The wildnerness, the plains and the sea. Focus your mind on the things that bring you peace, and nothing can disrupt that. As long as you keep training and focusing your mind. We never stop learning, if there is another thing you take from me today, it is that our learning never stops. The minute we believe that, ignorance comes into play."

"Well I forgot I was meant to be embarrassed"

"Well, it seems you have gotten over that quickly. And that's the point. Now when you return, you have renewed focus and clarity. You will notice things you missed before."


 

"Definitely. Very much so." Oryn was all about travelling and getting outside perspectives. He needed to, if he was going to figure out how to get past this plateau it felt like he'd landed on.

"I'll keep that in mind,"
Oryn said, after hearing Aiden's wise words. He should think of his mind, even meditation, as more of a muscle than a simple activity. If that was where he was struggling, if he simply kept spending more time doing that than twirling a lightsaber, he was bound to make some progress, right? "I hadn't thought of it like that. Naboo can become my anchor. This Temple, the feel of the sea," he said, almost more to himself than to Aiden.

Oryn laughed. "Is it really that simple?" Somehow it felt like it might be. Regardless of what had gone on in his mind before, he had found a way to let go. If those same thoughts came creeping back, he could always remind himself of that. Maybe it would be enough to make them go away again.

"This usually doesn't happen to me in training,"
he said, sounding like he was about to lie. "I thought I had this all figured out. Then, out on a mission recently… it all just kind of fell apart." He took a deep breath. Aiden seemed like the kind of guy he could open up to a bit.

"The techniques, lightsaber sequences, I can do all that. It's when people get involved that things get complicated. Everyone's feelings just become so alive in my head. Their anger, pain, hate. I can't seem to block it out. It throws me off,"
he said, looking away as he touched on his shame.

"I know what the Order teaches. I just don't always know how people actually become that."
It was as if everyone else understood something he didn't.

"Everyone says it takes time, but it's like, what am Isupposed to do while I'm waiting to get better?"


He took a deep breath, then sighed. He might've overshared a little, and produced a thought soup more than presenting a coherent case.

"When did you start trusting yourself?"

 



"I hadn't thought of it like that. Naboo can become my anchor. This Temple, the feel of the sea,"

Aiden simpled nodded his head with a smile on his face. "Sometimes that's all it takes. A breath of fresh air, clear mind and anothers perspective to help you say what you may have been missing." He stopped them when they came to the doors of the Sanctuary Enterance.

"It's different training in here, and actually experiencing and witnessing the full test of strength out there. You have to continue to train you rmind, it sounds silly, repetitive and boring to those who don't understand it yet. But you keep training, that why once you get out there, you won't feel so lost. You may fail, and that's okay. You get back up and keep going. You think I didn't fail the first few times I went out, because yes I did. You learn, you adapt and you keep going."

"When did you start trusting yourself?"

Aiden smiled as he pushed his way through the front doors, breathing in the Naboo air.

"The more I began to realize it's not just me out there. It's everyone, we are never truly alone my friend. Majority of the time there is always someone there standing beside you, maybe not physically all the time. Every Jedi carries the strength and hope of their fellow Jedi." Aiden stepped towards him. He pointed at his heart, and his mind. "Here and here. Let that hope and light see you through, when it does you will know that you can trust yourself, completely. I know I did."



 

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"You're right. And you make it sound so simple" he said with a laugh. Oryn wasn't being facetious. The questions and lingering doubts that had troubled Oryn's mind seemed to vanish as he spoke them out loud. "I may have been just a touch too focused on my combat drills. But that's the fun stuff, right?" He had neglected training his mind, or rather, taken it for granted. Perhaps it was no wonder that was where he was finding his greatest struggle.

He followed shoulder to shoulder to the Knight, without much thought on where he was going. "Failure is part of the journey" he said, more to himself than Aiden. He had been quick to punish himself for all his failings, and in that missing the opportunity to learn from them. He was starting to see that now.

"Thank you"
he said, sincerely. It sounded a little too simple, but it was true. He had needed this.

Trust builds slowly, but he would give himself the time to learn to trust himself. And when he next fell down, he would try to recall that he wasn't alone in this.

 

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