Since Everybody Else Is Doing It...

[Keira Priest]

...I figured I would too. As a writer I always worry that I give too much or too little, and I've always been concerned that my posts are too long or too wordy and that they lose something the longer they go on. I'm not much looking for praise or affirmation of my writing ability, but more so an honest critique of what I've done previously and what I can do to make my posts more enjoyable for everyone to read as a whole.

 

[Jamie Pyne]

[member="Keira Ticon"] - The two factors that went into my decision to have you train this character were

1. I hadn't had a thorough enough chance to write with you since that invasion and;
2. I've loved reading your posts.

I enjoy threading with you because your descriptions of everything are engaging and Keira has a well established personality that feels alive. Your posts are usually a bit longer than mine, but they never feel long, and I'm always happy to see your responses. For that reason I will keep Jamie training under Keira for as long as you would have her, as progression feels natural and exciting. So, I guess what I am trying to say is thanks for being awesome!

 

[Krux Mullarus]

Like you said on my own feedback thread, we havent really written together much, so im not sure how accurate my feedback may be. Take it how you will.

First of all, if you ask me, there is no such thing as a post being "too long" and/or "too wordy". Everyone here in this community has one of two things in common: We like to roleplay, and/or like to write. As such, we are - or at least should be - okay with reading big walls of text. More words = more detail and more images being painted in the reader's mind, which generally shows off the writer's talent with writing.

Anyway, aside from that

I didnt get to know Keira too well. Maybe that will change someday. The full extent of my knowledge from her is that she keeps her real loyalty to herself. That is interesting. The one thing I, personally, have grown to find more of a clíche in Force-Sensitive characters around Chaos is "The Force is grey, Light and Dark is a lie" or "I dont follow Light or Dark, im a grey". From what I have seen, Keira kinda walks that clíche, but thats okay. As a character, she seems like a very in-depth person with lots of history I would love to explore, and im sure many others would.

 

[Miss Blonde]

[member="Keira Ticon"]

So when I say this, just know that I love the crap out of you

I hate Keira's character at times. She feels like she's way too disconnected from things too much of the time, and while having a character that's distanced themselves emotionally is A OK with me. I feel that sometimes that Keira goes to far with that. In moments when a person should feel fear, anger, whatever the emotion might be, 90% of the time Keira has the personality of a cardboard box. She's like "Pshhhh I don't give a fuck cause I'm 2 Stronk." And while I understand that the character needs to have that wall to hide what's been done to her, that amount of damage done to someone doesn't leave them that emotionally barren.

One more thing is that even when the wall does come down you get a tear or two and that's it. She doesn't cry, laugh, and barely smiles. It's like having a conversation with a brick wall. This is just my honest feedback and I would love to see a bit more honest emotion out of Keira, she has so much potential to be this perfect and amazing character. Your writing abilities far surpass my own in terms of detail, beauty, just the way you set up a scene and describe something as simple as a taste is beautiful. The only thing you need to work on is your emotions for your characters.

I'm sorry ;-;

 

[Darth Ferus]

[member="Keira Ticon"]

Hush dear. You're an amazing writer.

My only criticism is how often Keira seems to change sides. It seems more of trying to write with active groups because another went inactive. That being said, Keira would change sides on a whim anyway, and it fits her personality rather well. She's well developed, not Cray powerful nor Kawaii Desuuuu, and I look forward to beginning / continuing our thread when I get my hands on a laptop.

 

[Lorraei]

[member="Keira Ticon"]

I believe by now we have established how I feel about you, your writing, and your character. So I will say only this:

In no aspect of your life should you lessen yourself or downplay your own talents and abilities to conform to the standards of those around you.