Shooting the Wings Off a Fly [Coci]

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Thirdas took a good long look at his surroundings before deciding to get into position, laying down in the snowy mosses and carefully setting up his mother's old rifle. There was a sense of trepidation knowing he had not asked her permission, for her wrath was far more frightening than that of his father. With dad he knew what to expect; the stern but concerned talk, telling him why what he did was wrong followed by a hug to reconcile, recently replaced with a simple pat on the back as Thirdas was no longer one for such closeness. His mother, on the other hand... He had yet to see her mad or disappointed, which only made him more fearful of when it finally does come to pass. Stealing her trusty sniper rifle from her Republic days, he figured, would surely set her off. But he had spent too many late nights staring at it when no-one was looking, having discovered its hiding place years ago.

So this time, he decided to finally act on his desires. He felt he was old enough, having long since tired of the usual practise with sword and axe under the constant vigil of the instructors. Being out in the wilderness, even though Fridheim was but a stone's throw away, with a real weapon he knew had the potential to kill felt like he was finally in control of his actions, and consequences. Simply holding it felt liberating, no longer caught in a safety net constricting his every move. This was life or death, and he relished the feeling.

Having deployed the accompanying bipod to steady his aim, he looked down the scope onto a group of rocks he'd set up in advance. At first he thought he'd forgotten to remove the lid as all it showed was blackness, only to moments later realise he was keeping the wrong eye closed. Quite the embarrassing start for the young warrior. "Damn nerves," he scolded himself before giving it another try, this time keeping his right eye open which made all the difference. There they were, the six rocks placed upon one another forming a pyramid. He took a practise shot at the top one, hearing the *click* as he squeezed the trigger.

Taking another quick look around for signs of being watched, he then reached into his satchel to whip out a full magazine of live rounds and struggled to pop it into place, for the fit was more snug than expected. His heart pounded as he checked the safety one last time, then took aim at the rocks once more. He felt his trigger finger begin to tremble and his mouth run dry, followed by a moment of hesitation. He'd never even heard or seen a bullet being fired in real life, let alone seeing someone get shot. What if someone were to unknowningly step in the way of the bullet? He would never forgive himself.

A bead of sweat trailed down his temple, and with one last mental push he pulled the trigger.

He'd expected a loud roar as it went off, but instead his entire body tensed when instead there was another *click*, just like before. "What the...?" All at once there was a sense of relief, coupled with annoyance that it did not perform as he thought it should. "Is it the safety? No, it says it's off." He began to inspect the rifle, checking that everything looked as it should. When convinced such was the case, he gave it another go. This time he just wanted to get it over with, wasting no time in pulling the trigger. Again, another *click*.

"Oh, come on," he snarled with frustration, pulling the trigger again. And again. More *clicks*. With each try he took less care in keeping hidden, and by the end he'd abandoned his post in favour of standing upright, still aiming for the rocks yet the rifle just did not fire. Finally he threw it on the bed of snow and moss out of anger, impatience getting the better of him as often was the case. "Gods be damned, you broken piece of crap!"

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

"Honestly", she said with exasperation as her hand swooped to scoop up a shirt laying on the floor outside the bathroom on the upper levels of their home. Coci walked to Thirdas' bedroom door, hesitated in opening it frightened of what she might find in there. A mess as usual of course, she had trouble locating the floor so she just threw the shirt and let it land where it may. I will have Thurion speak to him again. Out of all the Heavenshield children, Thirdas was the worse in cleanliness and no matter how she couched the words, he would not clean his room, or keep it clean. He was passed the age of having mother clean up after him, but no matter what .. he wouldn't. He is as stubborn as his father.

But Thirdas' room was not on her mind, she would leave for the Fortress coming the evening and there was work to conclude before her travels. Thurion was away in the city, attending to a new construction of the fishing docks but they would see each other before she left. Paperwork, it was never ending. At the back of the house were the offices and storage cupboards for personal documents and items. Coci was about to enter her office when she noticed one of the secure cupboards slightly ajar, it was her cupboard in which she kept her old Nightstinger. The White Mouse. Ironic name for a black rifle, but there was more to the name than that. It was her old code name.

She cast a glance toward another cupboard in which her newer version purchased from Firemane remained secured. Opening the cupboard to find it empty along with several rounds but the gas canisters remained. Whoever took it did not have the knowledge of the rifle, nor the knowledge of the dangers of it in inexperienced hands which she was not pleased about, as he strongly suspected who that person was. She was angry, not just for taking the rifle without asking but placing himself and possibly others in danger. At least, this was not the case, not without the canisters.

Coci could always find him, no matter where he decided to hide. The force would see to that. And so she stood watching her son, him unaware of her presences on the edge of the small clearing. It was when he threw the rifle to the snow that she stepped out and walked toward him red in the face from frustration. "Oh it isn't broken", she bent to pick it up and brushed away the snow. "But your head will be the next time you take something of mine without asking Thirdas".

With deft hands, Coci removed the rounds clicked in the gas canister and reloaded the rifle. From her position she took stance raising the rifle to her shoulder and looked down the scope aiming at the pile of rocks he had arranged. Her target was the central rock. There was only a moment, a single breath before she squeezed the trigger as softly as whisper and the bolt flew from the barrel. As silent and invisible as a ghost.

The pile of rocks exploded in all directions, she had never used it against rocks before ... flesh on the other hand. "Hmm", was her only response to the result. Still got it it seems. She was quietly pleased with that.

​

[member="Thirdas Heavenshield"]​

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

The moment the rifle hit the ground Thirdas froze into place, sensing his mother's cold gaze on him. All at once his frustration vanished into thin air, replaced by embarrassment and fear for her retribution. Slowly he turned towards her, not speaking a word as she plucked the rifle off the ground and brushed off the snow which clung to it, and took a staggered step back when she effortlessly raised it to eye level and fired like it was nothing. Eyes then snapped to the pile of rocks; he'd missed the impact itself and only caught the aftermath as shattered pieces exploded in every direction. There was a moment of excitement watching the destructive power his mother wielded, but it died away quickly when all he had to look forward to was explaining himself to her. She did not look happy. In fact, she looked more angry than ever.

A hard swallow, he made a conscious decision to stand his ground rather than shy away from his mother's fury. He thought himself too old to act like a child and would meet her head on. Then again, he had no idea what to expect.

"Mom, I know what you're gonna say. I shouldn't have taken it without asking, stealing is wrong and all that." He felt more confident as he spoke, however misguided it would turn out to be. "I just had to. I've known about it for years and every day I wanted to know what it was like," referring to the White Mouse. "I wanted to know what it feels like wielding death in your hands. Not just nicking fingers during sword training with the others, I wanted to be in charge for once."

While awaiting her inevitable scolding, his eyes found the rifle in her hands once more. "How did you do that? I tried firing time and time again and each time it just wouldn't."

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

While Thirdas offered up his excuses, Coci removed the rounds and tucked them into a pocket of her cloak without him seeing. Although she was upset with him taking the rifle his words were far more troubling as to why. It is one thing to be curious but what concerned her was what he was curious about. Death? to take a life as if a game or fleeting fancy? He is young she knows that and boys his age speak of battles with a form of misguided sense of glory. He knows nothing of war or battles which she is most grateful for but he will grow up and the galaxy the way it is, he will see blood shed.

But lessons are learned hard, and given hard.

Coci looked sideways at her son when he concluded his speech. "I understand you wish to pursue the life of a soldier, one must have discipline to do that which you do not have", not yet anyway. "You want to know what it feels like to wield death in your hands?", how many Sith had she heard say something like this. "But before that, you must start by learning something else".

As quick as heart beat, the White Mouse flew to her grasp once more, butt against her shoulder and the barrel looking her son square between his eyes. "You must know what it is like to look down the barrel of a gun, know that with one soft touch of a trigger, from another boy or girl that seeks to know what it is like to wield death in his hands". She pulled the trigger which only resulted in a click. She knew Thirdas had never seen this end of a gun pointing at him, and it is frightening or it should be.

She dropped the rifle to her side, and let out a sigh and shook her head. "You are not ready, not when you stand here speaking of death with such a sense of game. Taking a life is not sport". Coci knew she had scared the living daylights out of her son, and she hoped he would learn from it. But curiosity is his strength and weakness, and something in the boy that would not be tamed.

"This is not a rifle for a solider, this is a rifle for someone with more .. 'specialised' skills however ..", she paused hoping she would not regret her next words. "If you go home, show me a sense of discipline by cleaning your room .. for a start .. I will teach you to use this tomorrow". She put up her hand to stop him protesting, she was in no mood for arguments.

"Tomorrow", she said more firmly to conclude the conversation.

​

[member="Thirdas Heavenshield"]​

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Listening to his mother speak, Thirdas swallowed hard at what she had to say. Of course being a teen, he felt frustrated that she did not seem to understand his well-meaning intentions, rather than taking into consideration that perhaps he did not convey them adequately in the first place. But more than this, her mention of dealing death to someone gave him pause. He knew full well that between her and father, along with Théo and even Nina, they had taken more than their fair share of lives over the years. Not that he could ever truly know the extent of his parents' adventures, for they were countless even prior to making Midvinter their permanent home. Father never shared old war stories, or revealed how and when he received this or that scar which riddled his body. He'd thought him a bore in his younger years for not sharing, whereas his older brother was more forthcoming in indulging him. But mother... he'd never even considered asking her. Out of respect, he supposed.

The end of her lecture however, left him with a spark of hope and subdued excitement. "Tomorrow," he echoed her words and nodded, fully accepting of the terms. Rather than leaving it at that, before they would return to Fridheim he stepped towards her and embraced her the way a son does his mother. "I'm sorry, Mama," he whispered while nuzzling her shoulder.

​

It did not take until the next day for Thirdas to tend to his room. In fact, he'd gotten right to it the moment he was sent home out of sheer excitement that mother would keep her word and take him out to practise sharpshooting. It was something he'd looked forward to for a long time now, yet had not approached her knowing he was too young and, perhaps more importantly, too little to even hold her rifle. Besides, what's the point of asking when she's only going to say no? But this time it was the real deal, and he'd barely gotten any sleep over it. He ran downstairs, hoping to find her in the kitchen where she would so often prepare breakfast for the three of them. But she was nowhere to be seen, instead he found his father sitting alone munching on his milk and cereals.

"Hi, dad," he gave him a friendly pat on the back and was given a sleepy grunt in response. "Haven't seen mom, by any chance?" Thurion looked up at him, wiping droplets of milk from his beard. "She went out some time ago, said something about 'getting set up'." Thirdas looked at his father, having never fully gotten used to the ever-present scars dug deep over his left eye. "Oh... Did she tell you where she was going?" He rubbed the back of his neck, trying not to sound too nosey all of a sudden. "Back to where she found you yesterday," Thurion replied, all at once revealing to his youngest he knew everything about what had transpired between him and Coci. As well as the deal they made. Yet there were no hints of him being disappointed or angry, which was what really took him by surprise.

"She'll be waiting for you. Here," he handed him a paper bag. "I, uh... prepared you some sandwiches. Gotta eat something." Thirdas took the bag from his father and looked him in the eye. Rather than simply heading out the door he took the time to step around the table and put his arms around him where he sat. "Thank you, Papa." Thurion was taken by such surprise that he almost didn't return the embrace, having become used to Thirdas not being interested in hugs. But he was glad he did return it in the end. "You be careful now, you hear? Only do what your mother tells you." When their embrace came to an end and Thirdas headed for the door, his father spoke up once more. "And do try and have fun out there!"

With his spirits fully renewed he rushed out the door with a big grin reaching from ear to ear, running at full sprint down the street, out the front gates and into the wild all the way back to where he knew mother would await him.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

Discipline, something Coci had been lax on in her growing years. And why not? she had done her service and duty in all aspects of military and service to the Jedi Orders, there had been more than one. She awoke and prepared for the day, well before the avian had taken to the skies and leaving instructions to Thurion regarding Thirdas before leaving, much to Thurion displeasure of being woken up when it was still dark outside. Part of the preparations included a quick trip into Fridheim and the garrison to collect practice dummies the soldier use for the sword, if Thirdas was to learn it was better done with something more fitting than rocks.

Away from the dummies Coci had set up a chair, small table on which sat a black case and inside was the White Mouse. It would not be long before Thirdas would arrive but before he did, she sat sipping on a cup of caf she had prepared in a thermos and nibbled on a rolled oat biscuit. It was cold this morning, the mist from the snow still clung to the air and the soft morning light twinkled through the tree line around the clearing.

It did not take the force to 'sense' Thirdas' approach, she heard him coming fifty meters away from their point, and he was approaching with speed. This made her smile before sipping the wonderful caf. She would not have to ask after his room, if he cleaned it, the amount of noise coming from the top level in the evening was enough to inform her her words had stuck finally. But if this young man was serious about becoming a soldier he would have to enter the Dawnguard and begin training there and some force training would not go astray either.

"Do you have your sandwiches?", she asked him as his figure cut through the tree line. "Come sit and eat before we start", she had not finished her caf and biscuit. There had been a light fall of snow through the night, the soft powder sat on all the branches and rocks in the landscape and no matter how much time she spends on Midvinter, it never ceases to amaze her just how beautiful it is. She was in a good mood this morning which would prove well for Thirdas if he behaves well .. and listens.

​

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[member="Thirdas Heavenshield"]​

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Running through the snow and leaping over creeks, there was something about today that made Thirdas feel free like a bird. While it's true he would often act carefree and in control, all those times there was always that lingering doubt in the back of his mind. Maybe today was different because, for once, he was getting to do something he truly longed for, without having to skirt around his parents because they did not give permission. He'd always been a slave to his own whims and wishes, following his heart no matter the objections of the mind; such was his nature, plain and simple. He did not have the self-discipline of the Heavenshields. Not yet, anyway.

But his hastened strides would lessen as he spotted Mother up ahead, sat enjoying her breakfast having already made preparations for his arrival. So he approached her calm and collected for once, trying not to pant too much from the distance he'd run to get there. He only laid eyes briefly on the black case on the table before turning his mother and take a seat beside her, placing a kiss upon her cheek - something he normally would be completely loath to do, above all in public. Thankfully they were not. "I have them right here," he said, smiling wide as he produced one of father's wrapped sandwiches, chosen at random. "Mm, fried eggs..." he bit into it, relishing the faint warmth of the pan still residing within.

"Didn't know Dad knew how to make fried eggs," he turned to her with a cheeky grin. "Without burning them, that is." Tales of Thurion Heavenshield's cooking skills was the stuff of legends, after all.

Soon after however, his mood shifted after a few more bites as he joined Coci in just sitting and taking in the scenery. "Mom? I'm sorry if I'm not what you and Dad expects from a son. I'm not smart like Nina, or strong like Théo. I would try to be like them if I could, and I have tried. But I can't." He didn't know what brought on this confession of his. Just words needed to be said. "I love you," he turned to her with a look of utter sincerety and reached for her hand. "And I love Father. Even if I rarely tell him so. I try and put myself in his shoes, having to be this important man to his people. But there are times I feel smothered by the long shadow he casts - both of you. It's just hard, you know, living up to it all. Even if you say I don't have to."

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

She sat listening to him as he spoke and eat his breakfast, talking about Nina and Théo and all that goes with the name of Heavenshield. "You know you remind me of another young boy that went through the exact same thing, and in some ways he had more of the pressure you speak about. I am talking about Théo of course. When he was a young boy and had entered the Silver Temple to study to become a Jedi. He too felt the pressure because your father and I were at our height within the Order", she turned to him with a smile.

Coci looked deep into his eyes the likes of which the same as her own, "And then your grandpapa died and Théo was overwhelmed with everything. He had to leave Voss and us for a while in order to find his own way and he did. He was not much older than you are now". She was not suggesting to Thirdas to leave, in fact she did not think he ready at this point, he was not mature enough, not like Théo was, but soon he would find his feet and take the plunge into the wider galaxy. Thirdas had not left Midvinter, it was all he knew.

"But expectations are not placed upon you from us, you know that I think. It comes from yourself and you have to work through it. You are not alone and all of us are here to help you with it. I want you to try to be yourself, not Nina or Théo but Thirdas. You are smart and strong you are Heavenshield it goes with the territory", she smile at him. "You might think that I don't understand so I shall tell you another story".

She encouraged him to continuing eating his breakfast as he had stopped to listen. "When I was a girl, I was groomed to become the leader of my family's house, House Sinopi back on Corellia. It was an old House reaching back many generations but I did not want that. All the sitting around learning to be a lady was just boring and so uninspiring to me I ended up running away. I joined the Military Academy on Corellia and although my parents were not happy they let me go through it. Thinking it was just a phase in my life or something. But I had a calling to a higher purpose in life and once I made that decision I told them and I left". Her parents had died in their elder years, and House Sinopi was handed to her, but with the destruction of Corellia, so too the House.

"Your father and I just want you to be happy, no matter what you decided to do we both will support you and help you as best we can .. you only have to ask", she leaned across to her son and placed a kiss on the top of his head. "And I love you too".

Coci stood and wiped away the crumbs from her clothes, "If you have finished your sandwiches, shall we begin?".

​

[member="Thirdas Heavenshield"]​

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

The thought of big brother Théo at his own age made him smile fondly, trying to imagine what terrors the two of them would've been. But it also made him a bit sad, as it reminded him his brother and sister both had already experienced their childhoods many years prior. He would've loved to have a playmate his own age, for once. "I'm glad for your sake we aren't twins," he said nonetheless, chuckling softly.

The mention of Corellia made him shiver, however. That such a fate could befall an entire world was unfathomable to him; he'd been there and seen the destruction first-hand, years ago. "I can't imagine how it must have felt," he said, turning sideways to meet her gaze. "Why would someone do such a thing? All those people..." At first he felt sad, but the next moment all he could feel was unrelenting determination. "I won't let anything like that happen to Midvinter. It's everything I hold dear."

He responded to her question with a simple but unmistakable nod that he was ready. "Let's do it."

Saving the third sandwich for later, he wrapped it back up and put it aside before joining his mother by the table. The black case containing the rifle stared back at him, and at her saying so he lifted the lid to reveal the White Mouse. He took a moment to take in its features as he had many times before, this time knowing she would not mind him inspecting it. "Mom... how many people did you kill with this?" he slowly turned her way, his question posed not out of some sick fascination but rather out of fear; he realised that for all the motherly and good qualities of the woman stood before him, she was a killer.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

"Why people do such things is something that I cannot understand. Not from the heart anyway. But your father and I have spend a good part of our lives fighting against the likes of those people, still will if it comes to it", she said turning to her son. "But their reasoning is beyond me, how they could cause such death and destruction".

As Thirdas flipped open the case of the White Mouse, she saw his look. It was one of amazement and curiosity with a little fear of such a small thing could cause death to another. His next question was harder for her to answer, more so than the first by a good length. How many had she shot with this? she did not really keep numbers but she could estimate. Funny how one of her targets was his uncles so many long years ago, in a different time and different place. But that piece of information would not come from her.

"With this?", she pointed to the rifle, "I would say close to a hundred", yet from her hip she unclipped her lightsaber and laid it on the table. "With this lightsaber .. more probably". Coci studied his face looking for anything in his reaction to the vast numbers, hoping to the gods it would frighten him in the sense of what that all meant. "Never be to eager to take life Thirdas, it is much harder than you think". She remember his words from yesterday, his glorification of holding death in his hands.

"Now I want you to watch me carefully, I am about the assemble the rifle. But before I do know this. Always look after your weapon no matter what it is, take good care of it and it will take good care of you". She reached out to the piece of the rifle in the case and began to slowly click them into place making sure the assemblage was correct and he understood each step.

But she left the rounds and gas cannister on the table for the time beginning. "Now I want you to disassemble it and reassemble". She handed the Mouse to him.

​

[member="Thirdas Heavenshield"]​

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

It had never dawned on him until now just how many lives his mother and father had taken over their many years at war, and upon giving it more thought he next realised it wasn't just them; both Théodred and Nina he knew had fought in several battles alongside their parents, as hard as it was imagining his gentle sister taking lives. Uncle Thyrian he was very well aware he was a killer, having learned of his darker days before being reunited with his father, and lastly Cousin Thrand - his best childhood friend - he'd witnessed riding off to war against the legions of the Crone alongside most of the aforementioned. A small part of him felt it unfair that he had yet to experience war first-hand, having yet to spill blood in defense of his people. But he was not so young or stupid as to not think the idea frightening. He just hoped that when the time came, he would not hesitate.

"I don't want to kill anyone," he confessed. "I just want to protect the people I care about. I've been protected all my life, I think it only fair that I do my part."

Watching her assemble the rifle piece by piece, he wasn't certain just how it all worked together once completed. But he made sure to memorise the order of each piece, mentally putting a number on each one. What appeared to be an intricate assembly, he soon realised was not so difficult after all. "I can do this," he told her as well as himself once stood at the table with the fully assembled White Mouse sitting before him. Logic would suggest one simply played the numbers backwards, and so for once Thirdas focused on what his head was telling him rather than his heart. Playing the mentally numbered pieces backwards made the disassemble quite easy, just the handling of the metallic pieces themselves was a novel experience to the young man.

Once he felt the disassembly completed he presented it to his mother for inspection. With her approval, he would begin the reassembling. By now he felt confident enough to do it faster than he'd just disassembled it, to prove to her that he was a fast learner when he put his mind to it. A minute later, the White Mouse was put together once more, again awaiting Coci's inspection.

"How's that?"

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

"Yes you have been protected, and you always will be. And your father and I had made mistakes with Théo allowing him more freedom than perhaps we should have but it from this that you were more sheltered I suppose", she said as she watched him reassemble the rifle, not that Théo or Nina for that matter, had gone off the rails and it was also different times in their lives when he was a boy. Thirdas had the benefit of his parents in a quieter time of their lives. "And the time will come when you will leave to find your own way in the galaxy, not just Midvinter", she knew that time was approaching fast after all her son will not stay a boy forever, he was already of the cusp of manhood.

"The galaxy is a dangerous place, and it is all these reasons that you are here now with me learning to be able to protect yourself as well as those you care for". She let out a long sigh, it is never easy for a mother to let go of her children. He was her last one, and there was a sense of sadness about her now but also a pride in her that all her children were safe and loved and growing up into good people.

"Good Thirdas", she said reaching into her pockets to retrieve the gas canister and rounds and handed it to him. "This rifle even though an old version is still very powerful and dangerous. Always make sure that when you assemble it and arm it, your intent is to use it. It is an assassin's weapon .. not a soldiers".

Coci positioned herself behind her son, encouraging him to raise the rifle preparing to fire. She made sure he had the butt of the rifle firmly against his shoulder, "Relax into it, remove all tension from your body and slow your breathing. Focus on the target not only with your sight but through the force", she stepped back a couple of pace and gave her son space and time to take his first silent and deadly shot.

​

[member="Thirdas Heavenshield"]​