Private Settling In

[Colette]

Reina Daival
"Oh yeah?" Colette asked and finally moved to turn her treadmill off. She stood for a moment to let it push her off and back onto solid ground again before she grabbed her bottle and took a swig. "Like what?"

She beckoned at Reina to follow, turning to her side so she could look at the other woman as they went over to one of the nearby padded floors where Colette withdrew a pair of soft pads and gloves for them to grab.

Colette went for the pads and held them up, expecting Reina to follow along and put on the gloves.

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Temple Dojo
Objective: Let's Get Down To Business, to Train
Tags: Colette

"Well. The Dark Side for one. I never really had much knowledge of it before I joined the Order...and now I hear a darker version of myself in my head sometimes. Telling me to give up, to change sides, stuff like that"

Reina raised a neyebrow at the gloves as she took them from Colette and went to work putting them on. She hadn't expected to be doing any kind of sparring for today but it would be fine by her. Better than doing saber drills against a bunch of clankers.

"I also realised I can't heal. I can't build. All I can do is smash myself against a wall. I'm a hammer. And I don't want to be."

​

 

[Colette]

Reina Daival

Colette held the pads in front of her like targets for Reina to hit as they continued. It was troubling to hear voices, of course, but Colette figured it was more of a metaphorical thing than anything else. Regardless, she soaked a few hits against her pads as she took the time to think on what Reina was saying.

"Well, even a hammer is useful." Colette said and lowered her hands so she could stretch just a little and ease up on the tension that was building up in her arms. "But if that's not who you want to be then that's not who you want to be, y'know?"

"I think I'm a bit of a hammer, actually. They say I can get pretty black-and-white on things. All or nothing." She shrugged and got into a new position for Reina to strike at. "Just… Don't like when people speak with these… Big words. Find it pointless and annoying. People make the world seem a lot more complicated than it is, and I just don't agree. Most of the time."

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Temple Dojo
Objective: Let's Get Down To Business, to Train
Tags: Colette

"Well. I guess...I'm less of a hammer and more of a Harpoon if I think about it. You point me in a direct and I just keep going at it."

With that, Reina focused on punching out against Colette, nodding along ever so slightly. As much as Reina was lack of a better term...scared by Colette because of the outburst earlier, she agreed with the whole big words.

"Exactly. I wish people could just say what they mean. People dance around the issue instead of talking about it, or they pretend they know who you are by saying strange spooky kark."

At least, that had been her experience with Serina. It was irritating to feel like people knew her better than she knew herself. At least with some people like Valery, they didn't hold it above Reina. Either way, she could feel her frustration starting to bubble up and tried to keep it controlled. She didn't want to lash out against Colette.



​

 

[Colette]

Reina Daival

Bap, bap, bap bap, one, two, three, four.

Colette cycled through a few stances as Reina spoke her mind, and once she had spoken she cycled a few more to observe how the redhead was moving. It felt restrained, far less powerful than the hits she were packing could be.

"You're holding back." Colette commented and raised a brow. "Why?"

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Temple Dojo
Objective: Let's Get Down To Business, to Train
Tags: Colette

"I need a better sense of control over my frustrations. My violent tendencies I shouldn't be taking them out on you...or anyone for that matter."

There was also the fact that...Reina had never really properly fought in a situation that wasn't life or death. She had one sparring session with an actual person, and even then it was with a quarterstaff. She didn't know how hard she was meant to punch. What moves were off the table? Of course she understood that since she was using gloves, it was punches...but still.

"I don't want my anger and frustrations to control me. I want to control them."
​

 

[Colette]

Reina Daival

Not wanting anger to be in control was a good start. Hard to control something you avoided though, or didn't understand fully. For Colette, she'd rather let it all out in a controlled environment so she could think and ponder on the impact the emotions had - but not everyone was her.

"Well," She said and nodded at Reina. "I am here if you want to try and let it out."

"Give me a good hit against the left pad. Uh, your left that is. A right hook. And try to hold back a little less but as much as you are comfortable with."

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Temple Dojo
Objective: Let's Get Down To Business, to Train
Tags: Colette

"I...see"

Reina hesitated for a moment. Sure, Colette had given her permission, but it still felt strange to Reina to try and hold back less. For her, it was like a solid dam. All or nothing. Either she released all of her frustrations at once, or she did her best not to release any of it...but Colette wanted her to try and hold back less.

And so she took in a steady breath. All she had to do was let the frustration trickle out like a steady stream before she lashed out with the right hook, clenching her teeth at the same time. It wasn't all of her built up frustrations...but she was at least letting more out htan she was earlier.
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[Colette]

Reina Daival

"Good!" Colette exclaimed with a smile. "These emotions need to be let out, thought over and understood or they will be used against you."

"Anger and fear is natural. On Woostri it was the one thing that truly kept me going against the dark. Anger at the pain and suffering they were causing. Fear for what would happen to my friends if I didn't act."

Colette raised the other pad for Reina to hit.

"Your enemy will use this against you. Try again, but this time let the emotion stay. Think it over. Why does it cause anger? How can you control its purpose?"

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Temple Dojo
Objective: Let's Get Down To Business, to Train
Tags: Colette

"IWoostri was the first time...I properly encountered the Dark."

The mentioning of Woostri just caused Reina to tense up as she focused on her punches, adding more frustration to the strike. She had been relatively safe up in the ship with Jonyna, physically at least, but she had always succumbed to that fear. That feeling that she couldn't do anything. There was a part of her that felt like she still couldn't do anything. She couldn't win. She couldn't save.

"It makes me angry...because it means she was right. That I can't be the type of Jedi I want to be."

The kind who protected. The kind who would be a shield that stood up to the Darkness. She couldn't be that shield, if she had dozens of cracks ruining her structure. Reina just grimaced to herself as she brought her fist forward for yet another punch.
​

 

[Colette]

Reina Daival

Colette gave a quiet but understanding nod. Woostri was a lot of people's first time experiencing something so dark, hers included. It wasn't something she'd wish on anyone, but a valuable lesson nonetheless. A good reminder of why someone had to rise up and face the dark.

But there was something in what Reina said. Colette could feel the way her hits grew just a little harder.

"Says who?" Colette asked to provoke just a little bit more out of Reina. "Some Sith? Says you?"

"Are you going to listen to these words or prove them wrong?"

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Temple Dojo
Objective: Let's Get Down To Business, to Train
Tags: Colette

"Says...a Friend. Who knows me better than I know myself."

The provcation was working, though mayne not in the way Colette wanted. Reina felt like she couldn't prove them wrong. She wasn't a protector. She wasn't a guardian. She was a fighter, who was letting her frustrations out.

"They knew I'd get hurt trying to protect people. That I'm not strong enough. They knew I'd lose my leg."

Her frustrations were coming out more and more, punch after punch. She needed to remind herself to hold back but there was a part of her that didn't want to hold back anymore.
​

 

[Colette]

Reina Daival

The hell? Colette recoiled for a moment as Reina called someone who would say such things a 'friend'. The tribal might have grown up in a different society, but even she knew that was just not something you did.

"Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me." She said and kept the pads up for Reina to hit. "Sounds like they knew you would take their words to heart. Sounds like they knew just what to say to get under your skin."

…

"A friend raises you up, helps you out and makes you stronger. What you're describing is just… Manipulation. Insults. Cruelty."

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Temple Dojo
Objective: Let's Get Down To Business, to Train
Tags: Colette

Reina knew Colette was right. That a friend wouldn't manipulate you. That they wouldn't be cruel to you. But for all of her stubbornness and aggression, Reina refused to give up on someone.

"I have to be there for them. Since no-one else will. If it means they insult me and manipulate me...Well, I can take it."

But could she? Physical pain was something that Reina could deal with. And words never used to bother her...but she found herself caring about what other people thought too much. Reina kept throwing her punches at the pads, gritting her teeth in concentration.

"If people can find it in themselves to be my friend, I can find it in myself to be there for her. To help her up, when she's ready to let me."
​

 

[Colette]

Reina Daival

"That's admirable." Colette said and nodded. At this point she was really just drilling as much energy and thoughts out of Reina as she could. "No one is beyond mercy or forgiveness. And if they are it's not us — Jedi — to say so."

"Just make sure that you stay aware. Stay sharp to their lies and surround yourself with friends that doesn't tear you down."

"Like Everest."

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Temple Dojo
Objective: Let's Get Down To Business, to Train
Tags: Colette

Admirable? That...wasn't what Reina had expected to be called. Or at least had her actions called that. Foolish. Stupid. Dumb. Those what she expected. She hesitated for a moment, panting for a moment taking in a deep breath as she tried to recuperate herself.

"I'm...not good at noticing lies. Words confuse me, a lot. I'm not charismatic. Or smart."

It was true. Reina knew she could be easily manipulated if she trusted someone. That's why she tried to trust very little, but bit by bit she was opening up more to people. To Colette, to Everest, to Valery. All of them were softening her in their own ways, making her all so more vulnerable.

"...It's why Everest is more than just a friend to me. She's a life-line. I can trust her. No matter what."
​

 

[Colette]

Reina Daival

Something about this conversation made Colette think for a moment. She motioned for Reina to pause for a bit as she unstrapped the pads from her hands and reached for her water bottle to take a big sip.

"Do you have a master yet, Reina?"

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Temple Dojo
Objective: Let's Get Down To Business, to Train
Tags: Colette

"...Not as of yet. No. I've been training myself. What I can I mean. Lightsaber styles...Elemental force techniques...I..."

She hesitated for a moment. Reina had put a lot of thought in the idea of having a Master. Whether or not it would be suited for her. She wasn't good at taking orders from people she didn't respect. People she didn't trust. But...she just had to make that leap.

"I've just never thought I'd be a good student."
​

 

[Colette]

Reina Daival

No master yet. Colette took another swig and shifted the liquid around in her mouth before she swallowed.

"I'll talk to Valery about that then." She said and slowly nodded. "You seem like a good person, and I don't want to see you taking those risks without backup."

After all, only a fool mistook rough for uncaring. With that she rolled her shoulders and gave another contemplative hum.

"Don't need to be a powerful warrior to be a good Jedi. What really matters is just… Helping people, really. Don't worry about where you are now. Just focus on the helping and the strength will follow from that."

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Temple Dojo
Objective: Let's Get Down To Business, to Train
Tags: Colette

"Please do. Last time I spoke to Master Valery, it was about a nightmare I had...That may or may not end up being a vision apparently."

The memory sent a shudder down Reina's spine as she fiddled around with her own bottle of water, taking large gulps. It wasn't necessarily that she was that thirsty, she just felt dry. She always made sure to have plenty of water when she was training so that she didn't make herself get too dehydrated at the end of the day.

"I...appreciate it. Even if there's a stubborn part of me that think it's unnecessary. I've done near enough everything in life alone. But...being a Jedi is different to doing fishing for a living."

After all, fishing never caused her to lose a limb. It might have caused other people to lose their limbs, but Reina had always been careful when it came to that. She had grown up around the risks and potential problems. Whereas all of this Jedi stuff was....news to her.
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