Sensitive Information

[Geneviève Lasedri]

Gen had yet to visit Ossus. There had been no need for her to travel to the Jedi Order's bastion, seeing as the political climate there was rather unorthodox. Despite the fact that the ancient warriors of the Republic were not supposed to get involved with the bureaucratic environment, they were still a notable presence on the world and had an indirect influence on many of the citizens.

But it was her destination today. Following a transfer from her personal corvette to a Defender-class at the outskirts of the system, she was brought to Ossus with no ceremony or identifications of any sort. This was a visit that no one was supposed to know about. And that was why a woman with the stature of the Republic's Prime Minister slinked down the boarding ramp of the elegant corvette, shrouded in robes typical of the Jedi, and with a blindfold wrapped around her eyes as well as the hood of her cloak raised to cover her hair. It had been a while since she had performed this trick, but it came easy to her again in short order. Navigation was no issue. She was practically like a Miraluka.

Triggering an arrival signal from a pager in her palm, the disguised politician alerted the Grandmaster of her imminent arrival. And as she climbed the stairs of the Temple, she maintained a straight gaze, hoping no one would question her presence and come calling. There were plenty of Jedi to be found here, right? Surely no one would notice just another one. Here was one of the only places in the galaxy where Force users were guaranteed in concentration. And she had little to do with them.

Surmounting the final steps, Gen lingered at the top a moment, hoping that her 'host' would arrive soon enough to help her find her away around this place.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus had been notified that her guest had arrived and so she made her way down to the main entrance. The Academy was busy and sometimes that's all you needed for privacy but Corvus had a better plan.

As she reached the entrance hallway, a Padawan stopped her. They exchanged quick bows. "Master...Corvus, there's a Miraluka Jedi here to see you."

Corvus nodded. "Thank you Rand, I am expecting her." Covus hoped the disguise didn't go as far as changing the gender of her guest and as soon as she opened the door, she realised she'd made the right call.

"Welcome to the Ossus Academy," she offered and gave a small bow. "If you'll indulge me, I always like to show guests the Meditation Pavilion. It was the favourite spot of GrandMaster Skywalker and I have to say it's mine too. Plus the stroll there is most relaxing."

She smiled, "Tell me how was your journey?"

[member="Geneviève Lasedri"]

 

[Geneviève Lasedri]

Lasedri was indeed still female, as far as she was aware. "Master Raaf," the undercover politician saluted, bowing in return. Usually she was averse to abiding by such customs, but she had to admit that it felt good in this case. She had done many things in her life, but being a Jedi--charade discounted--was not one of those things. Keeping her voice low, she expressed her appreciation to the famous Jedi. "Thank you for making time for me. I'm sure you're as familiar with busy schedules as I am."

Meditation Pavilion? That did not sound like Geneviève's style, but who should she trust about this sort of training thing other than the Grandmaster herself? "You're the boss while I'm here. It's your territory." While Gen felt like she had the right to exercise an iron grip on the Republic's Jedi matters, she had enough respect for their current leadership to keep her control at a minimum--and especially not toy with their home. Raaf had proven to be loyal and deserving of that respect in the wake of Grandmaster Grayson's abandonment.

"My trip went as well as could be expected. It's a fair distance from there to here. But I get to wear these robes for a day, so I'll count my blessings."

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus smiled. It was nothing the PM said, she just did it naturally. "What shall I call you? I mean, it's best I have a name to use."

She led her guest through the gardens and indicated the PM should sit beside her. The room was circular with a low brick wall and and a conical roof. In between was the open air - the roof being held up with eight long poles.

"I presume you have come here for some training to protect you from any Sith attacks?"

[member="Geneviève Lasedri"]

 

[Geneviève Lasedri]

"Call me Viola," the Prime Minister responded, utilizing an alias she had often gone by years ago. This was not the first time she had gone undercover, after all. Not by a long shot.

Following her 'master', the Jedi-for-a-day resisted the urge to remove her blindfold and unleash her eyes. While she could still 'see' as she was, it was just human to want to look through more-or-less natural means. Maybe she would have the opportunity later on, if they ever traveled somewhere more isolated.

Yes, she was here to learn how to survive a Sith. She had already suffered two encounters with their kind, only luck keeping her alive in both instances--or maybe it was destiny, if one were to believe what the Jedi seemed to trust in. That was not Gen's inclination, but she would accept whatever Raaf fed to her at this point. "Yes... Master Raaf. Whatever you feel I must know."

 

[Corvus Raaf]

"OK...Viola, and you must call me Corvus. In truth, addressing me as Master Raaf would cause suspicion."

She looked into the distance. "There are a couple of things I can show you. One passive - a form of Meditation, and one is more active. Tell me, have you been taught Telepathy?"

Corvus figured it might come to this and had a prop in her pocket ready for the occasion.

[member="Geneviève Lasedri"]

 

[Geneviève Lasedri]

Finally sitting down in a cross-legged manner (That was what she assumed was the proper position.), 'Viola' kept her face forward, essentially staring at the Jedi Master. While she could quite obviously view the form of this grand teacher, she had not the ability to really notice the small things, such as which direction the other woman was looking. Would it hurt to remove her blindfold? Best not to until instructed so.

"Telepathy?" Indeed, that was one of the first things she had learned--most often used for swearing at people than actually anything useful. Corvus would probably not be too keen on knowing that fact. "I've been using it for a while. Though I'm not sure if there's an 'advanced' way to utilize it." Aside from that one time with Xiangu--and she wondered if the Jedi would ever try to find out about that--Geneviève had hardly received any formal training. She simply did what so far worked for her and only used it when she needed.

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus nodded, perhaps the prop was not to be used. She pulled the kitten out of her pocket and removed her cloak and then placed the small creature on top of it. It was curled up, fast asleep. "No need for Prudence then."

"Instead I want you to close your eyes, even with the blindfold, and meditate. Once you're connected to the Force, use it to seek out a strong emotion. I'll push one out and as soon as you start to look, you'll find it. Even though you've probably never done it before, once you seek it, you'll find it. And then I want you to follow it back its source - my mind."

"But be gentle. We are Jedi, not Sith. Some imagine the process like following a journey, or travelling upstream, or following a cable containing data. Whatever works for you. When you've reached my mind, I shall know it, and we'll be connected. We will be able to speak telepathically and then I can show you how to share memories and emotions and then how to stop sharing them."

The kitten stirred but went straight back to sleep.

[member="Geneviève Lasedri"]

 

[Geneviève Lasedri]

The involvement of a kitten was surprising, and prompted a curiosity as to what exactly the Grandmaster had been planning on using her for. The slumbering feline was not at all anything she would have expected to be part of Jedi training.

Meditation? Had she ever done that before? Gen closed her eyes as instructed, though where she went from there was something to figure out. Hopefully Raaf had her expectations a little low. The disguised politician had had some training in this mental thing--from a Sith, unfortunately--but meditation was a foreign concept. Lasedri was more apt to brooding and a bit of psychoanalysis, not anything sincerely introspective. Sure, she was aware of her faults and had regrets of her own--but meditation? And, while capable of being quite an emotionally passionate individual, she was not really practiced in expressing or recognizing emotion all to well. This could be interesting.

We are Jedi, not Sith. That was discomforting. She hated Sith to the fullest, but what might the Jedi before her discern about her past dealings with such monsters? "I've done this before with a mind--strictly informational." And the last time had ended badly. You killed the man last time. Remember? No, that was not her. Xiangu had killed him. Xiangu did it.

She breathed deeply, hoping to clear her reservations away. "But I've never opened to memories. Do you trust me?" Truly, Geneviève did not entirely trust herself to touch anyone's precious memoirs. And it bothered her about what Corvus might find. Share memories? The Jedi woman might not like what she saw. Dammit.

Her chest expanded and contracted almost dramatically with her heavy breaths. The whole thing hardly seemed calm and gentle--not that she had ever personified either of those words. She tried to let her mind wander, removing linear thoughts and just dropping into nothing. How does one actually connect to the Force? She was not wasting her teacher's time, was she?

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus sensed the apprehension in the PMs mind. "You use the Force naturally, you told me as much. Your sight. Just relax and try to clear your mind of thoughts and emotions. You will naturally sense the Force. It will flow through you and you will recognise it from when you use Force Sight. Once you sense it, tell it what you wish to achieve. It's always a slow process initially. Once proficient, there is no mental process, it is just an instinct. Like riding a speeder bike."

"Connect and then look for an emotion much as you would look with your Force Sight. The powerful emotion will be mine. Happiness when I met my elder sister for the first time. That's the memory I'll be sharing. Then follow that happiness back to my mind." Corvus' words her calm and clear, her voice barely above a whisper.

[member="Geneviève Lasedri"]

 

[Geneviève Lasedri]

That seemed simple enough. It sounded like, "Keep doing what you're doing." Gen could work with that.

Keeping her eyes shut, today's student tried to dispel any stray thoughts, and even sought to quieten the ones that were not so random. Geneviève had never really been a 'religious' type, nor had she been much of an introspective one when it came to all this Force working. Sure, it would be ridiculous if she did not believe in some transcendent form of power, seeing how she had used its otherworldly touch and, in some case, relied upon its bells and whistles. But it was not a way of life to her. She wondered if Corvus could tell.

Like riding a speeder bike. Maybe, if she was doing the right thing. There was nothing really different she could feel.

Then she knew she was doing the right thing. Her body quivered in its entirety as she tapped on the foreign emotion, nearly too powerful as it shocked her mind with instant immersion. Gen instantly released it and opened her eyes, shoulders bobbing until her breath decreased. There was a joy she had felt--something she had not felt in over a decade. "What was that?" she whispered, though she knew what it was. The Jedi had told her it was happiness. And that was what hurt.

Geneviève had never quit on a challenge. She had always seen things through, whether she had to order someone to do it or take care of business herself. She never backed down; never surrendered. But today... "Corvus, I don't think I can do this."

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus waited for the Prime Minister to connect to her emotion. Through the Force she sensed it. But then, the connection was suddenly lost. It was abrupt.

She looked at her student and saw discomfort in her face.

"Corvus, I don't think I can do this."

Corvus put a hand on the PMs shoulder. She did not attempt to use the Force, but she felt physical contact was appropriate right now.

“In your own time…tell me…tell me what you felt. Tell me why you need help to achieve this.” There was no failure in Corvus’ words. No suggestion this would not happen or that the PM would fail. Such thoughts never entered Corvus’ mind. With her is was about how, not if.

[member="Geneviève Lasedri"]

 

[Geneviève Lasedri]

Most people knew better than to make physical contact with Gen outside the normal handshake and formal gestures. She was typically distant; sadly uncomfortable with friendly notions and the like. Some considered her to be aloof--and they might be right. What might surprise most people, however, was just how confused Lasedri could be about the simple things despite her cunning in the 'important' details. When the Grandmaster laid a hand on her, her shoulder twitched.

It simply was not normal for someone to be kind to her. Gen had no idea how to handle it.

"Happiness," she replied after a moment. "It's painful." Great. All she needed was for this to turn into a therapy session. She wanted to hold on to her solemn demeanor; wanted to cling to that steadfast acidity of her heart. I'm sorry for wasting your time.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus kept her hand in place. To remove it now would send the wrong message.

"I can change the emotion if it's easier." In truth Corvus did not have a wide repertoire of emotions to tap into, given she'd bottled them up since she was four. Happiness and sorrow she knew. And possibly envy or jealousy once - but she was unsure which. Or even if that's what it was. "This is about learning an Ability and whatever makes it easier." There was no judgement in her voice, no expectation of an explanation. "Because learn it we most certainly shall."

[member="Geneviève Lasedri"]

 

[Geneviève Lasedri]

"I've never meant to do anything that was easy." A stuttered exhalation resembling something of a chuckle left Gen's lungs, laughter not being something she was particularly used to, either. I've just never been happy.

Her chest rose and fell greatly as she tried to quell any emotion. She felt weak--not the obstinate woman she was known to be. To show the Jedi Grandmaster any vulnerability was the worst offense to her. She could never be vulnerable; never fail. To break at the touch of joy could only mean she was broken already, and that would not do.

"Frak, Raaf," Gen swore, diaphragm trembling. This was not natural--at least, not for her. Cursed Jedi, always ruining things. But she was broken, just as she had been for years; decades. She pinched her nose to stifle a sniffle as her body continued to tremor and splotches of water accrued on the band that covered her eyes. Some of the drops managed to escape and creep down her cheek, and she knew the game was up.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

For Corvus this was particularly awkward. She didn't do emotions and didn't really know how to react to any of this. As a rule, she just let people cry. Not rush them to stop or do anything whilst they were sad, just let them. Hugging was not something she did - and even if she would, she had no idea how to do it when sitting down.

So she kept her hand on the PMs shoulder and contemplated sending some comfort through the Force but once again decided better of it. "We can carry on or we can postpone. My advice? We carry on. Nothing ever gets better because you delay it. I mean..."

Finally she moved her hand and put it around the PMs back until it was on her opposite upper arm and held her in a sort of sideways embrace. "Listen...why don't you just talk. About what's bothering you, or something else entirely. But talking is generally good."

Of course she'd just made that up. She was now a cold-fish that was well and truly out of water.

[member="Geneviève Lasedri"]

 

[Geneviève Lasedri]

Fish out of water? That made two of them.

A hand on her shoulder had been more of a direct kindness than anyone had shown her since her teens, and half of a hug was beyond anything Geneviève would have ever expected from anyone. No one loved her. She knew that much. But maybe it was because she had been a bitter, vengeful little punk herself. Kind and gentle gestures were not something she was really known for.

She pulled up her blindfold as it began to soak, revealing her secret--the dead, white right eye mismatched with her healthy brown left eye--and leaned her shoulder into the Jedi's for support. She had twenty years of collected tears finally purging themselves, and had no idea how to do this--how to cry. She was going to need the help. Even if Raaf had no idea what she was doing, she seemed to at least have an idea. And that was more than Gen had right now.

Just talk. Just talk...

Talking was not really something she was good at either, unless it had to do with disparaging other people and getting all politically imposing. She was not very good with people when it came to just being a person.

Just talk. "There was a point when I just hated my mom and dad, or I didn't care, or... I don't know what." Her confident tone was gone, supplanted by an unsteady voice, trembling as she basically dove into parts of her life no one else knew. You're pathetic. She didn't ask for your life story. "I ran away. I've fought everything. I used to kill slavers; tried to fight off empires; even tried to kill a couple Sith.

"I've had money and some semblance of power. I've also almost died a few times. People don't like me much. I'm not exactly a welcoming person, either; a bit of a queen. Never loved. You're honestly the first person who's ever been kind to me and... reached out to me, and I don't deserve it."

Now she was just rambling. Poor Corvus. "I adopted a daughter..." Her words trailed off as she realized the gravity of that statement, and she began to quake and choke and just lost it, floods of bitter water running out from her eyelids and even dripping from her hair. "I don't know why. I don't even know if I love her.

"I've never been happy in my life. I'm twenty-nine and I'm leading the Republic. You're my only friend and I don't even know what a friend is."

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus just held on and hoped the proximity was having a positive effect. “I close down emotions. Have to…I’m effectively a natural empath. Which means if I’m not around my sister, I don’t do emotions. I’ve known happiness and sadness in my life, but nothing else. Love perhaps, if that’s different from happiness? I suspect it is, but I have no reference point.”

“I reached a low ebb a while back,” she was rambling now but found the sharing cathartic. “I purposefully kept away from my family since I was four. I felt it was the Jedi thing to do. And do you know what? I decided I couldn’t love because I couldn’t be loved. Why? Because I didn’t love myself.”

“I wish I could say the story had a happy ending but it didn’t. My prevarication cost the lives of almost all of my family. My little sister was spared. And she tried to kill me and then joined the Sith. She hates me apparently.”

“And do you know what would have solved all of this? If I’d just tried to reach out a little earlier. Give your daughter a chance to love you before she grows to hate you.”

“I’m not going to lecture you on being a person and a professional. I’m a prime example of someone that can’t do both. But believe me, making the effort to be both beats cutting yourself off from the outside world. I can’t promise you you’ll be happy. But I can assure you that your current course most definitely won’t.”

“Do it for your daughter. Do it for yourself. Do it for me. The thing is, you have got to do it. And I’ll let you into a secret. I’m not sure I know what a friend is either. I think I have one. We’re always there for each other. And of late I’ve neglected her. I didn’t learn my lesson did I? Look at the pair of us.” She shook her head. “We are women of action that seem to be unable to do anything.”

[member="Geneviève Lasedri"]

 

[Geneviève Lasedri]

Tell me about it... Gen began wiping away the unforgiving rain from her eyes--quite an unfamiliar task to her hands--somewhat wishing she had not disclosed so much of herself to the Jedi Master. It was not that she did not trust Raaf. (She had been telling the truth when she admitted her starvation for Corvus as a friend.) But opening herself up to be vulnerable? That was simply not how her mind normally operated. She had just betrayed her own instincts, and she was not sure what to do to recover.

"You'll have to be mean to me now, or something; speak my language." A nervous chuckle was elicited from her own diaphragm, wondering if the Jedi was allowed to laugh. Geneviève had certainly forbidden herself laughter in most cases. "But I suppose that wouldn't be a very Jedi thing, would it?

"I'd be a horrible Jedi, I must say. I hope you're not breaking any rules to teach me." The 'Miraluka' took her blindfold and wiped the moisture off her lashes and cheeks. It would take a while to regain her composure--what with the tears still not abating--but she would try to return to the point of this meeting. She could resume this later. Hopefully her 'master' shared her desire to learn whatever a friendship might be.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus chuckled. It was a friendly laugh, no malice present. “I don’t do mean. I don’t believe I’ve done angry since I was four. It’s just not in me. You see, I don’t judge, so people can’t make me upset, or cross or anything on that spectrum. I’m sometimes disappointed but that’s for them, not me.”

“And Jedi have emotions. It’s a misconception we don’t. All we’re taught to do is not act upon them. Accept them, understand them but not make a decision based upon them. With us it is always the greater good.”

“And I’m not aware of any rules broken. If there’s some Senatorial edict I’m not aware of, let me know. But I suspect it would be you in trouble, not me. At least not directly. I am free to teach any Jedi I wish. I choose to teach those that follow the Code but have taught those from outside the Republic’s ranks before – and will no doubt do again. The only thing that stops me doing it more often is time. I don’t have enough to satisfy the need of our Padawans, let alone others.”

“And if I can be here for you? That would be fine for me. I’m sure there are better words I could and should use – but sadly they aren’t in my vocabulary as yet. And I mean as a friend as well as a tutor. You just have to ask.”

She smiled warmly. It was the least she could do.

[member="Geneviève Lasedri"]